| 1 | %% |
| 2 | %% Image removed per Image Pickin' thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1661902505078373000 |
| 3 | %% Please do not replace or remove without starting a new thread. |
| 4 | %% |
| 5 | What do you think this channel is about in the first place? We could say the entire channel but that's not what this page is for! |
| 6 | |
| 7 | ---- |
| 8 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 9 | |
| 10 | |
| 11 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Ace Combat 7]] |
| 12 | * Every time the Jeff Bezos Arsenal Bird arrives is bound to give a laugh. |
| 13 | * The JPEG Dog's appearance culminates with its eyes turning red and the caption "Burn Osea to the ground" appearing under it, as a snippet of "The Only Thing They Fear is You" from ''VideoGame/DOOMEternal'' plays in the background. |
| 14 | * One mission in Ace Combat 7 involves sneaking into an Erusean military base through a narrow ravine filled with searchlights, with the player having to dodge around them to avoid being seen. Max questions why the Eruseans don't seem to hear the planes passing by, even if they can't see them. |
| 15 | -->'''Erusean Doge 1:''' ''[over the roar of jet engines]'' '''''HEY BRO, DO YOU SEE ANY JETS?'''''\ |
| 16 | '''Erusean Doge 2:''' '''''WHAT?''''' |
| 17 | * Mihaly being depicted as a [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain sexist incel]] named [[HeManWomanHater "womanslayer69"]]. Then he reveals he's changed and had sex with a woman, so now he decides to make being racist his brand instead. Too bad for him, the Battle of Farbanti destroys all satellite communications and therefore he can't be racist on the internet anymore. |
| 18 | --> '''Mihaly:''' I can't even access [=RacistForums=].com. This sucks, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm gonna leave, see ya]]. |
| 19 | * Captain Torres being depicted as a "raving, homeless guy" commanding the ''Alicorn'' twin-nuclear powered submarine who is obsessed with [[VirtualYouTuber VTubers]], in particular [[Characters/HololiveJapanGenerationThreeFantasy Houshou Marine]]. Also he [[TalkLikeAPirate speaks like a pirate]] for some reason. |
| 20 | -->'''Captain Torres:''' Ahoy me maties, it be me, Cap'n Torres, and I'm here to tell ye that ye can prevent like 99% of all wars by nuking the capital of Osea. I learned about ye knowledge while stuck under the sea for 698 days while only being able to watch VirtualYouTuber content, and I'm as sane as any ol' scurvy dog on the ship! Yar har har, it's ''MY'' mental illness so ''I'' get to choose the coping mechanism! |
| 21 | * When Captain Torres decides to surrender mid-battle, he turns out to be fine with giving up the nukes. When given the ultimatum to give up on his anime addiction, though... |
| 22 | -->'''D. North:''' Okay, but you'll have to like, hand over all your anime and the nuke.\ |
| 23 | '''Captain Torres:''' ''({{Beat}})''\ |
| 24 | '''D. North:''' ''({{Beat}})''\ |
| 25 | '''Captain Torres:''' The what?\ |
| 26 | '''D. North:''' The fucking nuke Torres, what else would I be talking about-\ |
| 27 | '''Captain Torres:''' No no no no no, the other thing?\ |
| 28 | '''D. North:''' The anime?...\ |
| 29 | '''Captain Torres:''' ''({{Beat}})''\ |
| 30 | '''D. North:''' ... Torres, you have to hand that shit over, it's like a hazard.\ |
| 31 | '''Captain Torres:''' ''({{Beat}})''\ |
| 32 | '''Clown Torres:''' ''(with'' [[Film/Joker2019 Joker]] ''makeup on)'' '''WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!''' IF I CAN'T WATCH [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCzUftO8KOVkV4wQG1vkUvg MARINE CH.]] ON YOUTUBE-DOT-COM, [[DisproportionateRetribution THEN NO ONE ELSE WILL]]! ''(Fires the Alicorn's Railgun)'' '''''FUCK, I MISSED!!''''' [[VillainousBreakdown 𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗠𝗨𝗧𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗢𝗙 𝗔 𝗕𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗡𝗢𝗪, 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗔 𝗟𝗢𝗧 !!!]] I WILL FLOOD THE BACK OF THIS SUBMARINE TO GIVE THE GUN THE ELEVATION IT NEEDS! '''''ONE MILLION LIVES!!''''' YOU SHOULD'VE JUST LET ME KEPT MY ANIME, YOU FUCKING SKUNK! ''(Alicorn blows up)'' |
| 33 | * When Trigger finally defeats Mihaly, Mihaly makes one final plea to Trigger, not to stop the drone network he helped create, but to stop Jeff Bezos and Jack Dorsey because [[EvilVsEvil they're going to censor his racism on the internet and he can't live in a world where he can't be racist]]. |
| 34 | * When Bezos raises the remaining Arsenal Bird's shield permanently so that it can never be destroyed, and tries to cancel everyone's Amazon Prime subscriptions, he accidentally cancels his own as well, which causes the shield to disappate because "force fields are a subscription service." |
| 35 | --> '''Bezos:''' [[OhCrap Fuck, when I said "cancel everyone's subscriptions" I didn't mean my own!]] Stop doing that [attacking the Arsenal Bird / Amazon Drone Hub] right now or I will be forced to lobby Congress! I WILL NEVER PAY TAXES AS LONG AS I LIVE!! |
| 36 | [[/folder]] |
| 37 | |
| 38 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Ace Combat Zero]] |
| 39 | * The way Grun Squadron is introduced: |
| 40 | -->'''Grun 4:''' <<Grun 4 reporting.>>\ |
| 41 | '''Grun 3:''' <<Grun 3 reporting.>>\ |
| 42 | '''Grun 2:''' <<Grun 2 reporting.>>\ |
| 43 | '''Grun 1:''' ''(Is talking in muffled screaming)'' <<WHO FILLED MY FUCKING COCKPIT WITH WATER>> <<WHERE THE FUCK AM I>>\ |
| 44 | ''(Cut to Pop's Diner and the interview with Schmidt, recounting the events)''\ |
| 45 | '''Journalist:''' Wait a fucking second, ''did I hear that right?!''\ |
| 46 | '''Schmidt:''' What do you mean by that?\ |
| 47 | '''Journalist:''' The drowning part, Schmidt, i-is that real?\ |
| 48 | '''Schmidt:''' Yes.\ |
| 49 | ''(Cut back to Grun 1 with more muffled screaming)''\ |
| 50 | '''Journalist:''' So was it like a prank or was it just like--\ |
| 51 | '''Schmidt:''' No, it's just water.\ |
| 52 | '''Journalist:''' Oh, okay. |
| 53 | * Gelb 1 is, to put it lightly, a sewage pipe of memes and references that range from overstayed their welcome to outdated since the 2000s: |
| 54 | -->'''Gelb 1:''' Hey, did you see that new episode of Ray William Johnson? I love that guy. Hey, you think I can haz cheezburger? Ha, get it?\ |
| 55 | '''Pixy:''' Cipher, I can't put my finger on it but I don't feel comfortable about these guys.\ |
| 56 | '''Gelb 1:''' Rarw xD! I am so random, haha, but you can't be my friend on clubpenguin.com. It's only for goths like myself. |
| 57 | ** Gelb 2 is more soft-spoken, but is equally obsessed and obnoxious about memes. |
| 58 | --->'''Journalist:''' I don't even know why I bothered interviewing you. You're just cringe, and you make me want to kill myself-\ |
| 59 | '''Altman:''' Have you ever heard of Big Chungus?\ |
| 60 | [Beat]\ |
| 61 | '''Altman:''' He's like a fat Bugs Bu--\ |
| 62 | '''Journalist:''' Shut the fuck up. |
| 63 | * PJ's intro is also our introduction to his absolutely horrendous microphone. Even funnier? The microphone being that garbled was an accident and Max decided to ThrowItIn. |
| 64 | -->'''PJ:''' Hello, Galm Team, I'll be joining you today. My name is PJ, which stands for peanut butter and Jacksonville, Florida. ''[[{{Corpsing}} (cracks up)]]'' I'm really sorry about my microphone quality, guys. ''(caption: "I couldn't do this take without laughing")'' [[TemptingFate You know I got a girlfriend back at base]]. |
| 65 | -->'''Max:''' [[{{Retirony}} And with that, PJ's death was guaranteed]]. |
| 66 | * At one point, the base commander fumbles the words "air superiority", futilely tries to say it right, and eventually just gives up. |
| 67 | -->'''Base Commander:''' Alright so we are sending you guys to get air supesssssss-- Alright so we are sending you guys to get air superior-bu-bu-bu-- oh FUCK--! ''(caption: "real outtakes")'' '''YOU ARE GOING BACK TO [=B7R=]!''' At this point King Arthur's Round Table is getting really fucking crowded and I need you to remove some of the guests. |
| 68 | * Schwarze Squadron is... [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} special]]: |
| 69 | -->'''Schwarze 1:''' Whoever installed the microwave inside of my jet is a goddamn genius, holy shit look at those fucking utensils go they are so fucking bright.''\ |
| 70 | When we're done with this, we're going to go microwave some more forks it'll be hilarious. |
| 71 | -->(Camera zooms on Schwarze Squadron) |
| 72 | -->'''Schwarze 1 & Schwarze 2:''' Oh god, that camera has such good zoom! |
| 73 | -->'''Schwarze 1:''' Prolonged exposure to the upper atmosphere's radiation has opened our eyes to holy sparkiness of the microwave oven, specifically metal inside of it. And you're looking an awful lot like a spoon right now.\ |
| 74 | I want to dommy mommy milky tomboy doomer zoomer tradwife boomer tradcath goth G-- Die. ''[[SurprisinglySuddenDeath (shoots down Cipher)]]''\ |
| 75 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[[{{Angrish}} RRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!]]'' ''(caption: [[SincerityMode "actual noise I made"]])''\ |
| 76 | '''Schwarze 1:''' ''(Noticing the game reload)'' [[OhCrap Oh shit]], [[BreakingTheFourthWall how did he rewind time]]? |
| 77 | ** Dominic Zubov, the very same Schwarze 1, is the next person the narrator interviews, and he is just as nuts as the rest of the interviewees. He's introduced singing the words "I'm going to fuck your dad!" to a techno beat, which prompts the narrator to take notes. His song degenerates into gibberish before he explodes. |
| 78 | * During the mission briefing for the bombing of Hoffnung, the base commander starts getting the impressions that [[MissionCreep they're not there for a nuclear inspection anymore.]] |
| 79 | -->'''Base Commander:''' The industrial city of Hoffnung is vital to the enemy arms productio-- ''(music cuts out)'' I-I don't think we're looking for fucking nukes anymore, dawg. |
| 80 | * "The nukes were never intended for Ustio to ''begin with.'' And on June 6th, 1995, ''[[MoodWhiplash Belka bit into the Crazy Hamburger.]]''" "'''[[MemeticMutation CRRRAZY HAMBURGE-]]'''" '''''[[MoodWhiplash (Visual of a nuclear bomb exploding)]]''''' |
| 81 | * Espada 2: ace pilot, war poet, and freestyle dance instructor. No wonder A World Without Boundaries was mistaken for zany Spanish terrorists. |
| 82 | -->'''Espada 2:''' Espada 1, this is Espada 2\ |
| 83 | Consider this a gift from Espada me to Espada you.\ |
| 84 | I speak in limerick to the enemies I slay.\ |
| 85 | I wish to destroy borders, now get out of the way.\ |
| 86 | Death you shall have, and quickly too.\ |
| 87 | Here I present, a missile for yo-- [[OhCrap wait]]. ''(Camera freezes on a missile about to destroy Espada 2)''\ |
| 88 | [DESTROYED]\ |
| 89 | '''Espada 1:''' Oh shit, he killed the rhyming guy, what the fuck? |
| 90 | ** Later on, the narrator goes to interview Marcela "Macarena" Vasquez of Espada Squad. Instead of information, he says, he gets "something better"... freestyle dance lessons. Cue Vasquez, portrayed by Max's mom, doing a goofy dance. |
| 91 | * Gault Team here are a bunch of stark-raving Flat-Earth theorists: |
| 92 | -->'''Gault Team Leader:''' <<'''''I AM DETECTING A GLOBETARD ON THE RADAR, GENTLEMEN! WE MUST DISPOSE OF THIS SHEEPLE NASA FUCK! OUR FLAT EARTH COMMUNITY HAS MEMBERS FROM ALL ACROSS THE GLOB--''''' wait a second... '''''THE EDGE IS OUT THERE, WE JUST SIMPLY HAVE TO FLY TOWARDS IT!!'''''>> |
| 93 | ** During this battle, [[TheScrappy PJ]] finally does something useful for once for the whole game: |
| 94 | --->'''PJ:''' <<Hey bro, why does the sun disappear in the horizon if the earth is flat?>>\ |
| 95 | '''Gault Team Leader:''' <<''''' Well, you see, that is the result of a diaphragma--'''''[[LogicBomb Memory allocation error]]>>\ |
| 96 | ''(Gets shot down by Cipher shortly afterward)'' |
| 97 | [[/folder]] |
| 98 | |
| 99 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater]] |
| 100 | * The RunningGag of Revolver Ocelot asking Naked Snake inane questions about Capitalist America™. The best part about those questions, is that most of them are partially based on real contemporary events. |
| 101 | -->'''Ocelot:''' Now, Snake, tell me -- is it true that in Capitalist America, hordes of pigs can appear from nowhere and ''kill children''?\ |
| 102 | '''Ocelot:''' Is it true that in Capitalist America, you pay for healthcare ''in blood''?\ |
| 103 | '''Ocelot:''' Is it true that in Capitalist America, the Army is conscripted to fight tumbleweeds? |
| 104 | * Max loves to [[GagDub incorrectly dub]] the Cyrillic names of the game's areas with random Russian screaming from ''VideoGame/CallOfDutyModernWarfare2'''s multiplayer. |
| 105 | * The sheer fact that The End is characterized as UsefulNotes/BernieSanders. |
| 106 | -->'''Bernie:''' You will be receiving healthcare ''by force''! After all, is free healthcare not the definition of communism?\ |
| 107 | '''Snake:''' What the fuck?\ |
| 108 | '''Bernie:''' I will be pushing UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump down the stairs! |
| 109 | * Volgin/Palpatine hammily explains his twisted version of communism to Snake, all to the soundtrack of ''VideoGame/CommandAndConquerRedAlert3'''s Soviet March theme. |
| 110 | -->'''Volgin:''' How about I lay it out in a way that you can understand, you unfresh bonobo? Communism is when the government gives people healthcare. And the ''more'' healthcare the government gives, the ''more communister'' it is. My plan is to use this money to give healthcare to every man, woman and child in the world, and therefore, ''force them to adopt communism''! I will ensure that the government takes every [[CallBack toothbrush]], every [=iPhone=] and every stock market; and ''burns'' them; along with every [[CrossesTheLineTwice starving Ukrainian]]! Once the Soviet Union stands supreme; as leader of the world's nations and the top provider of healthcare I will rename the Earth to 'UsefulNotes/{{Venezuela}}' and inflate our currency until the end of time! To destroy all of the small business owners and mom-and-pop landlords; I have my Shagohod tank, which will rain a nuclear fire upon a NEW! RED! WORLD! |
| 111 | * Ocelot's emotional goodbye to Snake near the end of the game is ruined by the latter. |
| 112 | -->'''Ocelot:''' - because I have one more question! In Capitalist America... d-do you think t-that, th-, err... a-an ocelot and a s-snake, c-could find love? I-is it possible?\ |
| 113 | '''Snake:''' ''({{Beat}})''... That's cringe.\ |
| 114 | '''Ocelot:''' Oh ok bye. ''(jumps off the plane, tearfully screaming)'' '''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!''' |
| 115 | [[/folder]] |
| 116 | |
| 117 | [[folder:Bloodborne Review | Defeat Gods | Doll Waifu Simulator]] |
| 118 | * He claims the protagonist is named "John Bloodborne", and claims that he suffers from [[IncestIsRelative "Habsburg's Disease"]] due to the {{Gonk}} appearences Soulsborne players often give their characters. |
| 119 | * Yharnam is constantly referred to as London, with all of the chaos in the game resulting from Brexit. |
| 120 | * He referrs to Gehrman as "German". He claims that he's a DirtyOldMan who is a bit ''too'' interested in The Plain Doll, referred to as his "waifu". |
| 121 | * "On a complicated level, you have a gun, and normally, bullets hurt people, but in London, bullets are a suggestion, [[CrossesTheLineTwice like the Geneva Convention.]]" |
| 122 | ** As the gameplay gets increasingly complex, he refers to the levels of complexity with increasingly meaningless {{Technobabble}}. |
| 123 | * He refers to Rom, the Vacuous Spider as ''Literature/TheVeryHungryCaterpillar''. |
| 124 | [[/folder]] |
| 125 | |
| 126 | [[folder:Cruelty Squad is a Normal Game™]] |
| 127 | * [=Max0r=]'s very aware that the combination of his edits and the game's... polarizing visual aesthetic could make things worse for people with photosensitivity problems than it already was. The editing often gets to the point where it becomes impossible to tell between what's actually in the game and what's something [=Max0r=] threw in - in fact, his edits to dialogue often make the game ''more intelligible''. |
| 128 | * Each chapter is named with increasingly off-base corruptions of the phrase "Life is Cruel". |
| 129 | * Once [=Max0r=] kills one of the first targets by taking her head off in one shot, her body slides into the wall behind her, erupts into gibs, emits a toxic vapor that kills someone else next to the mess, then makes ''them'' erupt into gibs as [=Max0r=] begins losing his composure with each step in the process. |
| 130 | * [=Max0r=] wastes no time with the social satire during the police station level. |
| 131 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' [[PoliceBrutality Fuck the police]]? [[EatTheRich Eat the rich]]? Uhh, no, [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs eat the fucking police]]. |
| 132 | * When [=Max0r=] finds [[RefugeInAudacity the Twin Towers]], you can briefly hear (and see) [[VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance Sundowner]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice saying "9/11!"]] under the vine boom. |
| 133 | ** Speaking of which, the captions label Sundowner as "[funny meme man from the 9 trillion view video]". |
| 134 | * [[MadnessMantra "This is just like Gorbino's Quest. This is the Gorbino's Quest of life."]] |
| 135 | * The on-screen text for the "Archon Grid" and "Cruelty Squad HQ" endings is delivered ''in song, like an edutainment game''. |
| 136 | [[/folder]] |
| 137 | |
| 138 | |
| 139 | [[folder:Genshin Impact Review | My Money is Gone | Waifu Simulator 老婆]] |
| 140 | * Max casually calling Lumine ([[Characters/GenshinImpactMainCharacters The female Traveller]]) "John Impact". Sure... |
| 141 | * "Here's a fun tip that most Genshin players don't know", Max says. What is this important tidbit of info? |
| 142 | -->'''''The age of consent is 18 years old.''''' |
| 143 | * Max nonchalantly admits to having installed ''VideoGame/GenshinImpact'' after downloading ''60 images'' of [[Characters/GenshinImpactQixing Ganyu]]. Why? The official lore of the game states that she once killed a monster after being eaten by it because "her ass was so big it blocked his trachea and suffocated him to death". [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer This is mostly true]], though it was her waist that did the job (it's just a common fan misconception/meme to confuse the two). |
| 144 | * Max totally did not sell his house for the chance to pull "Big Titty Pirate Mommy" AKA [[Characters/GenshinImpactLiyue Beidou]]. |
| 145 | * Max's first rule of having fun is "play as optimally as you want" i.e. don't sweat too hard about MinMaxing because RNG is never on your side. His version of fun, however, is to roleplay "a violent misandrist" who refuses to play as any of the male characters, despite the fact that two of the ones he displays in the video ([[Characters/GenshinImpactMondstadt Bennett]], for example) are very useful. He acknowledges this in some on-screen text. |
| 146 | -->'''Max:''' They're actually pretty useful, but I don't want men in my party. ''(SmashCut to Max pulling Bennett)'' '''''IT'S A [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING GUY!]] GODDAMNIT!! [[CurseCutShort FU]]--''''' |
| 147 | * As Max discusses the anti-cheat system of the game, he claims not to be afraid of the Chinese government harvesting his computer's data, because the only thing on there is ''50 pages of [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Waluigi]] hentai.'' |
| 148 | -->'''Max:''' ''(over an image of Xi Jinping)'' ''It's your loss.'' |
| 149 | * At the end, he recommends playing the game but discourages spending money on its LootBox system. After all, "the game is free and [[RuleThirtyFour so is the porn]]" |
| 150 | [[/folder]] |
| 151 | |
| 152 | [[folder:Project Wingman Review | Nuclear Planes | Defeat the Antichrist]] |
| 153 | * A short clip of a balance sheet is played when [=Max0r=] says he spends his money [[BlatantLies "very responsibly"]], showing he spends $25,000 on Genshin Impact, while other expenses (food, water, computer, [[Blog/{{Dril}} candles]], Project Wingman) doesn't even add up to $1,000. |
| 154 | * [=Max0r=] frames all of the gameplay and player actions in the games as various levels of [[WarCrimeSubvertsHeroism war crimes]]. |
| 155 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Let's go down the list. Attack Hawaii for no reason, that's on the list. Attack people in a forest fire, that is definitely on the list. Save civilian lives. [[RuleOfThree Oh, I'm sorry]], that's not on the list. |
| 156 | * [=Max0r=] gives a brief [[BlatantLies "explanation"]] on how to play the game, accompanied by footage of the unrelated flight sim ''VTOL VR''. After going over the controls he attempts to take off, only for the wings of his plane to fall off as he's leaving the runway. [[IMeantToDoThat He insists that this is all totally normal]] and that he's just doing a "wingless%" {{speedrun}}, even including a set of splits to go with it. |
| 157 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[while careening towards a ship]'' You'll notice that [[{{Understatement}} controlling an aircraft without wings is hard]]. That's alright; the guys on that destroyer don't have [[KilledMidSentence famili-]] |
| 158 | * [=Max0r=] brings up two weapons for discussion in his video: |
| 159 | ** The ScrappyWeapon nature of the unguided bombs in the game. |
| 160 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' I mean, I guess you could use unguided bombs. ''({{Beat}})'' [[BaitAndSwitch If you want to miss.]] |
| 161 | ** The exploding effect the in-game aircraft guns do to enemy vehicles. |
| 162 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' [[MadeOfExplodium What is in the fucking ammo?]] If normal bullets work like this, Chicago would be a nuclear wasteland by tomorrow. [[TakeThat As opposed to the current wasteland that it is now]]. |
| 163 | *** This is made funnier by the fact that [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYA4m8DW1RM&lc=UgzPNPjXUMw5c5cg8VR4AaABAg Max0r wrote this joke to get a reaction out of the YouTube channel Chicago Reacts, which were reacting to several of his videos]]. |
| 164 | * [=Max0r=] depicting the main antagonist, Crimson 1, as [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureGoldenWind King Crimson]]. |
| 165 | [[/folder]] |
| 166 | |
| 167 | [[folder:Final Fantasy 15 "Review" | BTS Adventures™]] |
| 168 | * [=Max0r=] points out that the character's names are ''actual Latin'', and translates them into English to point out how ridiculous they are. |
| 169 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' If you know [[GratuitousLatin any Latin]], this game is fucking insulting. |
| 170 | * [=Max0r=] can't go ten seconds without crashing into yet another way the game is, in his words, "one of the most baffling design disasters that I've ever seen", comparing Square Enix to an insane asylum multiple times and wondering at one point if the game's abundant budget had to be prioritised by [=CleverBot=]. |
| 171 | * A summary of the average FFXV quest: |
| 172 | -->'''Market Vender:''' Hey, what's up, uh, king of the planet? So I was driving my car - |
| 173 | -->'''Noctis:''' Okay. |
| 174 | -->'''Market Vender:''' - and I just so happened to [[CrossesTheLineTwice kill my wife]] - |
| 175 | -->'''Noctis:''' Alright. |
| 176 | -->'''Market Vender:''' - by crashing into a tree - |
| 177 | -->'''Noctis:''' Uhuh. |
| 178 | -->'''Market Vender:''' - at 90 miles an hour. |
| 179 | -->'''Noctis:''' Sounds good. |
| 180 | -->'''Market Vender:''' I need you to go find my mangoes. |
| 181 | -->'''Noctis:''' Your fucking ''what''? |
| 182 | -->'''Market Vender:''' I left them in the truck after killing my wife in a car crash. |
| 183 | -->'''Noctis:''' I don't think your problem is mangoes! |
| 184 | -->'''Market Vender:''' Can you find my mangoes? |
| 185 | -->'''Noctis:''' All right, we'll just go ''find the mangoes''! Wow, look at these bees! |
| 186 | -->'''Market Vender:''' Thank You For Finding The Mangoes That I Lost When I Killed My Wife. |
| 187 | -->'''Noctis:''' OKAY. |
| 188 | -->'''Market Vender:''' A while back, I lost a few apples on the side of the road while driving - |
| 189 | -->'''Noctis:''' OKAY LET'S GO DO THAT |
| 190 | [[/folder]] |
| 191 | |
| 192 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance]] |
| 193 | !General |
| 194 | * The number of times "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Real In-Game Dialogue]]" shows up is [[SpoofedWithTheirOwnWords testament to how over-the-top the game is]]. |
| 195 | |
| 196 | !Part 1 |
| 197 | * This line from Max stands out: |
| 198 | -->''"This is the first enemy in the game. ''[Raiden activates Blade Mode and cuts the enemy to pieces]'' [[LudicrousGibs Now he's the first one hundred enemies in the game.]]"'' |
| 199 | * A reoccurring selection of music for the first video consists of a soundtrack associated with [[VideoGame/GenshinImpact a different Raiden entirely.]] |
| 200 | * Blade Wolf's origins are as a robotic attack dog with full access to a federal criminal database and is convinced Raiden is a sex offender. |
| 201 | -->'''Wolf:''' I am pre-programmed with knowledge of '''''[[TheOmniscient EVERYONE]]'''''.\ |
| 202 | '''Raiden:''' Oh yeah?[[note]] '''Wolf:''' Yes. [[/note]] Who's your owner then, little dog?\ |
| 203 | '''Wolf:''' The NSA. [[BestialityIsDepraved But my handler is a white woman]].\ |
| 204 | '''Raiden:''' [[SincerityMode Damn, that's rough]].\ |
| 205 | '''Wolf:''' [Audibly seething] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice I WILL NEVER EAT PEANUT BUTTER EVER AGAIN]].'' |
| 206 | * Mistral's unsettling head-turns, complete with neck snapping. Raiden is remarkably disturbed by this, and rightly so, but his reaction is just as funny. |
| 207 | -->''[First time: Dolzaev is leaving after talking with Mistral]''\ |
| 208 | ''['''SNAP''']''\ |
| 209 | '''Raiden:''' JESUS FUCKING '''CHRIST!'''\ |
| 210 | '''Doktor:''' Raiden, watch out, that woman is live on Twi--\ |
| 211 | '''Raiden:''' STOP! ''[wipes Doktor away from sight]''\ |
| 212 | ''[And the second time, before the Mistral battle]''\ |
| 213 | '''Raiden:''' ''[expressing utter shock]'' '''Oh my god... it's a woman...'''\ |
| 214 | ''['''SNAP''']''\ |
| 215 | '''Raiden:''' ''PLEASE stop that.'' |
| 216 | * Also before the Mistral boss fight: |
| 217 | -->'''Mistral:''' Sorry, Jack, but my stream demands you die. ''[crushes a Dwarf Gekko underneath her foot]''\ |
| 218 | '''Raiden:''' [[TooKinkyToTorture God, I wish that was me.]]\ |
| 219 | '''Mistral:''' [[PreAsskickingOneLiner That can be arranged.]] |
| 220 | * Max's constant exasperation with [[KillerGorilla the Mastiffs]], with a particular stretch of the level populated with them being he classified as "The Ape Exhibit." |
| 221 | -->'''GORILLA CLAN HARAMBE FAMILY; 30 FUCKING APES''' |
| 222 | * Raiden's encounter with the head of the child-kidnapping operations. |
| 223 | -->'''Jeffery Epstein:''' Stop right there, Raiden, or I'll blow this child!\ |
| 224 | '''Raiden:''' Who is that?\ |
| 225 | '''Jeffery:''' [[ThatCameOutWrong His head!]] I'll blow his head open-- wait are you for real?\ |
| 226 | '''Raiden:''' I don't have time for this conversation, children are in ''danger''.\ |
| 227 | '''Jeffery:''' Do you know what a "gun" does?\ |
| 228 | '''Raiden:''' ''[as he's cutting Jeffery and George in half]'' What's a gun? |
| 229 | ** The chapter results screen after he does this has the difficulty (normal) crossed out with "the hardest lmao" written in place next to it. |
| 230 | * Raiden encounters the police in Denver and gets blown up by a rocket launcher. |
| 231 | -->'''Zachary:''' Wait a second boys, [[{{Profiling}} he's white]].\ |
| 232 | '''Raiden:''' Sorry officer, [[BlatantLies I was so busy playing]] ''VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends''--\ |
| 233 | '''Zachary:''' [[TakeThat All right, I've heard enough]], [[FelonyMisdemeanor deadly force authorized]].\ |
| 234 | '''Raiden:''' Aw fuck. |
| 235 | * The entire Monsoon (of the [[VideoGame/AmongUs Sussy Imposters]]) introduction scene. |
| 236 | -->'''Monsoon:''' (Real in-game dialogue) Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We're all pawns controlled by something greater. Memes. ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously]]) The DNA of the soul. They are our culture. Our clout.\ |
| 237 | '''Raiden:''' How about full of shit. Is that a meme?[[note]]Not mentioned as such, but ''also'' real in-game dialogue.[[/note]]\ |
| 238 | '''Monsoon:''' No it fucking isn't, you amoeba. You'll never be based with memes like that.\ |
| 239 | '''Raiden:''' [[VillainHasAPoint You're right. About me, I mean.]]\ |
| 240 | '''Monsoon:''' What?\ |
| 241 | '''Raiden:''' I thought I could be just like you, but... That is a mistake. Perhaps I am cringe, but that makes me free!\ |
| 242 | '''Monsoon:''' That's sus!\ |
| 243 | ''[a soldier impales Raiden in the gut]''\ |
| 244 | '''Raiden:''' ''Doktor!'' '''''Turn off my cringe inhibitors!'''''\ |
| 245 | '''Doktor:''' But Raiden, you'll lose subscriber--\ |
| 246 | '''Raiden:''' '''DO IT.'''\ |
| 247 | '''Doktor:''' Okay. ''[a beep is heard, Raiden's [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Ripper Mode]] is unlocked, and ''Music/GangnamStyle'' starts playing]''\ |
| 248 | '''Raiden:''' '''UAAAAGH!! I WAS FUCKING JOKING, ''WHY DID YOU DO IT!?'''''\ |
| 249 | '''Monsoon:''' You think you can just log off, Jack?\ |
| 250 | '''Raiden:''' I'm starting to see what you're getting at. And if based means what I think it means, then caring about YOUR shitty posts is a long way off!\ |
| 251 | '''Monsoon:''' That's rich coming from the likes of you.\ |
| 252 | '''Raiden:''' Family Guy Funny Moments. |
| 253 | ** For that matter, the fact that the NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer tagged onto Monsoon's dialogue needed its own disclaimer in of itself. |
| 254 | |
| 255 | !Part 2 |
| 256 | * The Sundowner fight in its entirety. Notably Jimothy Ross, Sundowner's voice actor, is doing his best to keep a straight face during the lines, with... limited success. |
| 257 | -->'''Sundowner/Buff Bezos:''' Well well well, if it ain't the Feds.\ |
| 258 | '''Raiden:''' Unhand these {{brain|InAJar}}s, Jeff. They're children.\ |
| 259 | '''Sundowner:''' And kids are cruel, Jack. They just lose touch with it at the ripe old age [[{{Corpsing}} of twelve.]]\ |
| 260 | '''Raiden:''' Wait, what?\ |
| 261 | '''Sundowner:''' "War crime" this, "can't eat the drywall" that. Microwaving mice is wrong, they say.\ |
| 262 | '''Raiden:''' What the fuck?\ |
| 263 | '''Sundowner:''' ''[pulls one of the brains out]'' Not to worry. Kids love video games. That's why I got 'em all set up spinning the wheel on my favorite {{gacha games}}. How else is a man supposed to make his... [[VideoGame/GenshinImpact impact]]~?\ |
| 264 | '''Raiden:''' You refrigerated a preschool for fucking jpegs!?\ |
| 265 | '''Sundowner:''' [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh heh]]. You think I made the market for Ganyu, Jack? Like every casino's just a big old conspiracy? Bullshit! Gambling's just a part of who we are. I just market it to [[{{Corpsing}} sexy children]]. Besides, demand for my products is about to skyrocket. ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Real in-game dialogue]]) Like the good old days after 9/11!\ |
| 266 | '''Raiden:''' Wait a minute. [[AndThatsTerrible 9/11 is bad]].\ |
| 267 | '''Sundowner:''' Speak for yourself. Let's debate this on the roof.\ |
| 268 | ... |
| 269 | -->'''Sundowner:''' Looks like you're a gacha player at heart.\ |
| 270 | '''Raiden:''' Is that because of my brain damage?\ |
| 271 | '''Sundowner:''' No, it's because you go after children. And there ain't enough room in this preschool for the two of us.\ |
| 272 | ''[Sundowner's "Women Deflectors" activate]''\ |
| 273 | '''Sundowner:''' Like I said -- kids are cruel, Jack. [[{{Corpsing}} And I love minors!]] |
| 274 | ** Max recommends getting rid of the shields before really laying a finger on Sundowner to extend the fight. |
| 275 | --->'''Max:''' So, enjoy that second phase while you can, because [[SincerityMode this music is a]] ''[[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic gift from God]]''. |
| 276 | * The Doktor's excessive spending on gacha games catches up with him. |
| 277 | -->'''Doktor:''' I can't go to prison, Raiden.\ |
| 278 | '''Raiden:''' Why, because you play ''Genshin''?\ |
| 279 | '''Doktor:''' No, Raiden, I'm a Nazi! |
| 280 | * Raiden slams headfirst into the street so hard that he lands in ''Platform/{{Roblox}}'' for a moment. |
| 281 | * Jetstream Sam decides to mess with Raiden a bit after he cuts his way out of Detroit. Unfortunately, Raiden's gotten a lot better at dealing with people's horseshit. |
| 282 | -->'''Raiden:''' I'm running '''late'''.\ |
| 283 | '''Sam:''' Oh, don't worry, Raiden, the ''clown college'' is closer than you think.\ |
| 284 | '''Raiden:''' [[InsultBackfire Yeah, it's right in front of me.]]\ |
| 285 | '''Sam:''' Hahahaha... ''[[SuicideDare Kill yourself]].'' Your ass will always be cringe, and ''my'' ass will always be '''thicc'''.\ |
| 286 | '''Raiden:''' [[ImpliedDeathThreat 497 North Parker Drive.]]\ |
| 287 | '''Sam:''' Oh good! You're getting more based by the day! But I live with my mother--\ |
| 288 | '''Bladewolf:''' [[ShameIfSomethingHappened Is this her house?]]\ |
| 289 | ''[[[RageBreakingPoint Sam immediately draws his sword without another word]]]'' |
| 290 | * After the duel with Jetstream Sam: |
| 291 | -->'''Sam:''' Guess I don't have a choice... I challenge you to a debate!\ |
| 292 | '''Raiden:''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere What the fuck? No!]]\ |
| 293 | '''Sam:''' ''[[{{Corpsing}} *Dies of cringe*]]'' |
| 294 | * The entire Senator Armstrong portion brings the character's already memetic status to even further heights thanks to Max's wacky dialogue, especially when delivered perfectly by ''professional voice actor'' Creator/GianniMatragrano. |
| 295 | -->''[Metal Gear Excelsius's [[Franchise/TheIdolmaster Idolmaster music]] plays]''\ |
| 296 | '''Raiden:''' What the fuck?\ |
| 297 | '''Armstrong:''' [[BlatantLies Nothing]]. Well if it isn't [[VideoGame/AmongUs sussy]] Jack. ''[[[{{Corpsing}} has a mental breakdown]]]''\ |
| 298 | '''Raiden:''' Bro are you high?\ |
| 299 | '''Armstrong:''' Let me check. ''[glances at watch]'' [[BluntYes Yes]]. High on [[{{Eagleland}} American spirit]]! And there's nothing more American-- ''[[[{{Corpsing}} has another mental breakdown as error messages pop up]]]'' And there's nothing more American than shooting a man in this Walmart™ of a world!\ |
| 300 | '''Raiden:''' What is Walmart?\ |
| 301 | '''Armstrong:''' It's Heaven, Raiden. ''[real in-game dialogue]'' Check the internet lately?\ |
| 302 | '''Boris:''' Raiden, hop on Twitter! You ''need'' to see this!\ |
| 303 | '''Raiden:''' Fuck, I hate this website. |
| 304 | --->''"I physically cannot stop myself from spending my life's savings on VideoGame/GenshinImpact"\ |
| 305 | "My dick is absolutely fucking RAW for [[Characters/HololiveSuiseiChannel Suisei]] I will die soon."\ |
| 306 | "Please have a lot of sex with me [[Characters/HololiveKiryuCocoCh Kiryu Coco]]"\ |
| 307 | "selling vtuber feet pic cryptocurrency today"'' |
| 308 | -->'''Boris:''' It's all fucking weebshit, Raiden! It doesn't make any sense! They're being distracted with utter nonsense!\ |
| 309 | '''Armstrong:''' These baboons don't even ''know'' they're at war with Pakistan.\ |
| 310 | '''Raiden:''' This one's calling me a "Website/{{Reddit}}or".\ |
| 311 | '''Armstrong:''' And that's just the beginning. E-girls, {{gacha|Games}}, memes, all just petty distractions so ''real'' men can get down to business.\ |
| 312 | '''Raiden:''' [[VideoGame/AmongUs Amogus]].\ |
| 313 | '''Armstrong:''' And as you know, American Imperialism is absolutely justified [[InsaneTrollLogic because we had a black President once]]... [[BrickJoke before I fucking killed him]]!\ |
| 314 | '''Raiden:''' That's a nice argument, Senator. Why don't you back it up with a source?\ |
| 315 | '''Armstrong:''' [[MemeticMutation My source is that I made it the fuck up!]] Imagine a world, Raiden, free of cancel culture! Where no one can call me out for my outlandish claims! [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain A WORLD WHERE I CAN SAY THE N-WORD!]] ''[Brought to you by [[TakeThat Prager U]]]''\ |
| 316 | '''Raiden:''' [[FlatWhat ...What?]]\ |
| 317 | '''Armstrong:''' ''[abruptly speaking mis-subtitled Japanese]'' Ever harassed a minority, Raiden?\ |
| 318 | '''Raiden:''' ''No--''\ |
| 319 | '''Armstrong:''' ''[speaking English again as he tosses his cigar]'' Catch! I've got my own to debate online.\ |
| 320 | [[ImageMacro me preparing to harass the minorities who live in my computer]]\ |
| 321 | [[ImageMacro IM GAMEING]]\ |
| 322 | [[ImageMacro SHUT UP MOM]] |
| 323 | * Max describes the boss fight against Metal Gear Excelsus as a classic case of "wait for him to do anything", [[TakeThat much like Congress, and when it does do something, it hurts you.]] He also notes that its boss theme, "Collective Consciousness", [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noq9ZTJFUjE matches perfectly with the tune of "All I Want for Christmas"]]. |
| 324 | * "Check it out, Raiden! I just got vaccinated!" |
| 325 | * As for the rest of the boss fight: |
| 326 | -->'''Raiden:''' Typical politician. All cock, but no cum.\ |
| 327 | '''Armstrong:''' [[FlatWhat what]]\ |
| 328 | ...\ |
| 329 | '''Armstrong:''' I'm going to build a new future, Jack. One where we won't have to hide or steal anything from anyone, and for that, I want you by my side. To build a world truly free from the consequences of our actions. Just like the Founding Fathers intended. What do you say, Raiden? Why not try to say it, Raiden? Just once?\ |
| 330 | '''Raiden:''' I was wrong about you, Senator. You're not cringe... ''[takes Armstrong's handshake]''\ |
| 331 | ''[[ImageMacro Captions: democrats and republicans agreeing on which third world nation to vaporize]]''\ |
| 332 | '''Raiden:''' ...You're just fucking [[{{Corpsing}} racist!]]\ |
| 333 | ''[[[SensoryAbuse every sound effect at once]]]''\ |
| 334 | '''Gianni:''' ''[From Armstrong's voice to his own]'' What the [[{{Corpsing}} fuck was that?]]\ |
| 335 | ...\ |
| 336 | '''Armstrong:''' You need to work on your fitness.\ |
| 337 | '''Raiden:''' What?\ |
| 338 | '''Armstrong:''' [[WhatsAHenway Fitness]] (Fit this) dick in your mouth.\ |
| 339 | ''[Raiden gets punched into the ground]''\ |
| 340 | '''Armstrong:''' [[PatrioticFervor My blood is red, white, and blue, Jack]]. [[ImpliedDeathThreat I wonder what color yours is]].\ |
| 341 | '''Bladewolf:''' Wait. Raiden...\ |
| 342 | '''Raiden:''' [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Brian Griffin...]]\ |
| 343 | '''Bladewolf:''' You can't give up yet! Think about every mentally deranged moron you've fought up until this point. You've always had the strength to overcome! [[WaxingLyrical Whether it was violence in movies, or sex on TV]]. I was always lucky there was a Family Guy. [[IdiotHero Even if your IQ is the room temperature of Alaska]].\ |
| 344 | '''Raiden:''' You are the best Chia Pet ever made.\ |
| 345 | '''Bladewolf:''' Sam put a fucking speaker in his sword.\ |
| 346 | '''Sam:''' That's right, I've finally uploaded my consciousness into my gaming setup. Raiden, the reason you're cringe is not because you ain't skilled, but because you ain't ballin' on that stank-ass Windows 95 'puter.\ |
| 347 | '''Raiden:''' Even in death, he's on crack.\ |
| 348 | '''Sam:''' [[EleventhHourSuperpower Just this once I'll lend you my setup]] so you can know what it's like to be a real GAMER.\ |
| 349 | '''Armstrong:''' You're my little Dogchamp. ''(Armstrong kicks Bladewolf out of the fight)''\ |
| 350 | '''Raiden:''' I've always said my sword was a tool of justice. Not a weapon, but a way to bring back those good old fashioned values upon which we used to rely. But this isn't my sword. It's a fucking mistake. |
| 351 | * "This isn't even [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty the first time Raiden has stabbed a politician to death]], and if I get my way, it won't be the fucking last." |
| 352 | * The ending to the boss fight: |
| 353 | -->'''Armstrong:''' Y'know, I'm starting to have a [[{{Pun}} change of heart]].\ |
| 354 | '''Raiden:''' Yeah, I can tell.\ |
| 355 | '''Armstrong:''' That's why you're the best, Jack. You always [[{{Pun}} wore my heart]] on your sleeve.\ |
| 356 | '''Raiden:''' If I hear another goddamn pun...\ |
| 357 | '''Armstrong:''' If you kill me, Jack, you'll finally be free.\ |
| 358 | '''Raiden:''' ''[[[OhCrap growing concern]]]''\ |
| 359 | '''Armstrong:''' [[RuleOfThree Free to follow your heart]]--\ |
| 360 | '''Raiden:''' ''[rips out Armstrong's heart]'' [[LamePunReaction Oookay, that's it, buddy.]] |
| 361 | * And for the final cutscenes: |
| 362 | -->'''Courtney:''' Ninja cyborg? Doesn't Raiden do that?\ |
| 363 | '''Doktor:''' Oh yes, Raiden, ahah, well... the police ''might'' be after him for that [[BrickJoke vehicular manslaughter]].\ |
| 364 | '''Raiden:''' [laughter [[FunWithSubtitles transcribed as "The essence of comedy"]]] Manslaughter, Doktor? I did that shit on purpose! |
| 365 | [[/folder]] |
| 366 | |
| 367 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Elden Ring]] |
| 368 | !Part 1 |
| 369 | * Varre (voiced by WebVideo/{{Martincitopants}}) has a new "greeting" for the Tarnished. |
| 370 | -->'''Varre:''' Tarnished, if you're lost, how about you start by finding some ''bitches'' (''Vine boom''). Stupid weeaboo-wearing ass (''Vine boom''). When's the last time you took a shower with your dirty helmet-wearing ass (''Vine boom'')? With your weird-ass cargo-shorts yo mama gave you (''Vine boom''). Look, what I'm trying to say is: your fit, is ''mid'' (''Vine boom''). And, you get zero bitches (''triple Vine boom''). Get the fuck outta my sight before I gotta look at those stank-ass vans again (''rapid-fire Vine boom''). |
| 371 | * Melatonin's[[note]]Melina[[/note]] arrival due to just how ''over the top goofy'' it is. Helped along by the fact that she's voiced by Creator/GianniMatragrano. |
| 372 | -->'''[[CrossdressingVoice Melatonin]]:''' 'sup bitch? \ |
| 373 | '''Elden John:''' What the fuck? \ |
| 374 | '''Melatonin:''' My name is [[{{Corpsing}} Melatonin]]. And if I may inquire sir, I am in need of a quirked up hwhite boy who can bust it down sexual style so that I may make him "goated with the sauce."[[note]]"Able to level up."[[/note]] |
| 375 | ** After explaining the story of the gods and the "Amazon Gift Card"[[labelnote:*]]The Elden Ring[[/labelnote]], Max/Elden John asks if defeating the demi-gods will bring God back. He's told no, but he gets to keep the gift card. The, if the graphic is accurate, ''[[UndesirablePrize $25 dollar gift card.]]'' |
| 376 | ** Melatonin naming the Tarnished of note: Jake Paul, Bastard of the Badlands (Hoaroh Loux), The Ever-Wet Skelly Sleeper (Fia the Deathbed Companion), the Crazy Caca Consumer (Loathsome Dung Eater) and ''you.'' She leaves off Goldmask and Gideon Ofnir altogether. The former is later revealed to be just someone you don't turn your back to, and the latter is... unique. |
| 377 | * Margit, The Fell Omen / Marge, The Fell Refund is portrayed so blatantly [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain bigoted]], it becomes hilarious to watch Max introduce him incorrectly. |
| 378 | -->'''Marge:''' ''FOUL TARNISHED!''\ |
| 379 | '''John:''' God dammit-\ |
| 380 | '''Marge:''' - ''In search of the hoes!'' Unfortunately, I hate '''WOMEN'''!\ |
| 381 | '''John:''' That sounds like a ''you'' problem chief.\ |
| 382 | '''Marge:''' I am also [[CardCarryingVillain homophobic]]!\ |
| 383 | ''(jumps down and [[ThreePointLanding lands]] in front of Elden John)''\ |
| 384 | '''Marge:''' [[PreAsskickingOneLiner And you are looking pretty gay right now.]] |
| 385 | ** Making it extra funny is that once one digs deeper into the lore, it becomes apparent that ''canon'' Morgott is also incredibly bigoted toward anyone who doesn't fit into the Golden Order (implicitly [[YouAreWhatYouHate including himself]]), meaning this interpretation is actually pretty accurate. |
| 386 | * Blaidd is now "The Pitbull of the Woods". He is... [[ImAHumanitarian obsessed with eating children.]] |
| 387 | -->'''Blaidd:''' Greetings, traveler! I am the Pitbull of the Woods!\ |
| 388 | '''John:''' Uh...\ |
| 389 | '''Blaidd:''' Have you seen any orphanages nearby?\ |
| 390 | '''John:''' Why are you asking me that?\ |
| 391 | '''Blaidd:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial No reason.]] Legend has it that at the edge of these woods, there is a well containing the ''tastiest'' children.\ |
| 392 | '''John:''' Ok?\ |
| 393 | '''Blaidd:''' Go there, traveler, and I will '''KILL''' the infant of your choice! |
| 394 | * Max's narration as he goes to find the well containing the children: |
| 395 | -->'''Max:''' Okay, this might seem bad, but I know a good deal when I see one[[note]]WHEN YOU LISTEN TO THE VOICES[[/note]]. Unfortunately, I am blind. |
| 396 | * During the Exploration Arc, Max travels around Limgrave, down to the Weeping Peninsula, and even Siofra River. Then he goes ''east''. |
| 397 | -->'''Max''' You know, it seems like we're going a little off the beaten path, but I'm pretty confident. After all, [[TemptingFate how bad can it possibly be?]] ''(cut to [=Max0r=] in Caelid)'' What the fuck is ''that?!'' Oh no... OH GOD! ''(cut to Max standing by the Site of Grace and [[ThousandYardStare staring at the camera]])'' Let's go back to the castle. This time, I think I'll walk all the way back to Margit. |
| 398 | * The explanation for Godrick the Grafted/Godrick the Garfield's abilities, if only for how ([[RapidFireComedy relatively]]) long it takes to set up the joke: |
| 399 | -->'''Max:''' Much like his [[ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} titular cat]], Godrick is a fucking gremlin who obtained his abilities by entering [[Franchise/FiveNightsAtFreddys Freidrich Fastbear]]'s Mega-Pissplex in the year of our [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Luigi]] 1987 and then sewed the children therein into his wacky animatronic suit. They call him [[{{Pun}} William]] ''[[{{Corpsing}} Grafton]]''. |
| 400 | * Anything to do with the utter hellscape that is [[{{Mordor}} Caelid]]. Max goes there ''early'', completely freaks out about the horrors there and wisely decides to leave. And when Gideon the Lore Man informs him that he has to go there next after fighting Rennala, he has an immediate ThisIsGonnaSuck reaction. |
| 401 | ** Speaking of Gideon. He's voiced by WebVideo/SsethTzeentach. And introduces himself thusly: |
| 402 | --->'''Gideon:''' ''Hey hey, people''.\ |
| 403 | '''John:''' [[OhCrap Oh God]].\ |
| 404 | '''Gideon:''' It is I, the Lore Man™.\ |
| 405 | '''John:''' Okay, do you know where the bathroom is?\ |
| 406 | '''Gideon:''' My IQ is the highest among all Reddit.\ |
| 407 | '''John:''' [[TakeThat That's not saying much]].\ |
| 408 | '''Gideon:''' Did you know, Rennala of the Full Moon resides in--\ |
| 409 | '''John:''' ''[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere (Flees from Gideon's presence)]]'' Okay, you know what, never mind. |
| 410 | ** And of course, how Gideon tells John he must go to Caelid: |
| 411 | --->'''John:''' OK, so I've been to [[GiantEnemyCrab Red Lobster]] once already, where do I go next?\ |
| 412 | '''Gideon:''' Caelid.\ |
| 413 | '''John:''' ''[[FlatWhat What]]''.\ |
| 414 | '''Gideon:''' You must continue your adventure in ''Caelid''.\ |
| 415 | '''John:''' Uhhhh...\ |
| 416 | '''Gideon:''' (said as a trollface appears over his head) Is that a problem? \ |
| 417 | '''John:''' [[BlatantLies No! Not at all! There's nothing wrong with Caelid.]]\ |
| 418 | ''Cut to an image of Caelid, labeled as [[PlaceWorseThanDeath Brasil]].'' |
| 419 | ** Max describes Caelid as basically being made of German bedtime stories, referring to various enemies within as "Der Vogel, Der Backpfeifengesicht and Das Kindershredder". [[labelnote:*]]The Bird, The Slap to the Face and The Child Shredder[[/labelnote]] |
| 420 | --->'''Max:''' I'm sorry if you speak German by the way, [[CrossesTheLineTwice that's gotta be my]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice least]]'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice favorite disability.]] |
| 421 | *** For even more hilarity, "Das Kindershredder" is the name of an actual German folk tale, [[AccidentallyCorrectWriting something that Max wasn't even aware of]]. |
| 422 | * The introduction to Rennala's Phase 1 fight against her children is absolutely dripping in BlackComedy and Max doesn't hold back. |
| 423 | -->'''Max:''' Welcome, one and [[{{Pun}} allocaust]] to '''[[WouldHurtAChild CHILD SLAUGHTERFEST]]''' Two-thousand and Two-Twos! That's right: ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice This is an American school after all!]]'' And in this battle, we're going to be teaching these kids the harsh realities of the hood. |
| 424 | * When he has to return to Caelid: |
| 425 | -->'''Max:''' But sometimes, life is just a Bulgarian, [[CrossesTheLineTwice and you are an unstolen car.]] |
| 426 | * The entire Radahn Festival segment is literally just Max gushing about how awesome the fight is. He even invokes RuleOfFun for the summons. In fact, what he says for most of it is ''barely incorrect''. |
| 427 | -->'''Max:''' Now, you ''can'' fight him alone, as a "real gamer", but ''why would you?!'' This is a goddamn festival, ''and I will not be having sex by myself!'' |
| 428 | |
| 429 | !Part 2 |
| 430 | * After heading back to the spot of the explosion after defeating Radahn, [=Max0r=] runs into Ranni[[note]]Voiced by [=Shenpai=][[/note]]. |
| 431 | -->'''Ranni:''' Hello, traveler. \ |
| 432 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Ahh, it's a woman! \ |
| 433 | '''Ranni:''' I am possessed of four arms and ''that'' is what tickles thy fancy? \ |
| 434 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' [[{{Corpsing}} Pringles can]]! \ |
| 435 | '''Ranni:''' Art thou of no more brain than stone? \ |
| 436 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Can you speak English? \ |
| 437 | '''Ranni:''' Can you throw yourself into a woodchipper? \ |
| 438 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''("[[Creator/GianniMatragrano Cancel culture strikes-]]")'' \ |
| 439 | '''Ranni:''' Listen. I have never seen a Caucasoid run that fast. They kept yelling "go, white boy, go". \ |
| 440 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Okay... \ |
| 441 | '''Ranni:''' I shall need thy help to run my errands. \ |
| 442 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Can I ask why? \ |
| 443 | '''Ranni:''' [[BluntNo No]]. ''(fading away)'' I'm going through a tunnel right now, your signal's breaking up... \ |
| 444 | ({{Beat}}) \ |
| 445 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ...I apologize for that. |
| 446 | * The fight with the [[MirrorBoss Mimic Tear]] gives [=Max0r=] the perfect opportunity to lampshade his SelfDeprecation tendencies. |
| 447 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' If there's anyone who knows how to keep me down, it's myself. This boss's weakness is naked anime women. |
| 448 | * With the Fingerslayer Blade in tow, [=Max0r=] goes to Gideon to figure out what to do about it. Gideon asks him to find Ranni, and starts quoting a popular copypasta regarding [[PowerPerversionPotential the things one can do with her four arms.]] [=Max0r=] quickly exits the conversation and continues his quest. |
| 449 | * After gaining access to Ranni's Rise, he depicts the interactions with Ranni like a visual novel. |
| 450 | -->'''Ranni:''' Tell you what: I'm also in the business of killing God. I want to restore [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy the good old fashioned values upon which we used to rely.]]\ |
| 451 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Is that a bad thing?\ |
| 452 | '''Ranni:''' [[Memes/TheDarkKnightTrilogy For you.]] (''bitcrushed Vine boom'') |
| 453 | * After struggling with the deathblight-inducing Wormface in northern Altus Plateau, [=Max0r=] finds that [[AllForNothing you could just teleport past it]]. |
| 454 | * After defeating Margit (aka Morgott) for the second time, Elden John returns to the Roundtable Hold to consult with the Two Fingers, only for Enia to interrupt. The latter suggested burning the Erdtree by doing a sacrifice in a way which looks like a road flare. Some viewers will find Enia's voice familiar. |
| 455 | -->'''Enia:''' (In static filter) MUST. CONSUME. CORN SYRUP. \ |
| 456 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Yeah, that's great. Look, I need help getting into the glowstick tree. Do you have any shears? \ |
| 457 | '''[[LetsPlay/TheRussianBadger Enia]]:''' Whooooo- ''("her" voice loses distortion)'' -oooooa! Why didn't you say so? \ |
| 458 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''(Cut to the Twin Fingers)'' No reason in particular. \ |
| 459 | '''Enia:''' Nah, don't worry about him. He's, uh, doing stretches. \ |
| 460 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''(Stares at Enia)'' \ |
| 461 | '''Enia:''' For the next five thousand years. \ |
| 462 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' What? \ |
| 463 | '''Enia:''' Anyways, you need to, uh, burn the tree. \ |
| 464 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Excuse me? \ |
| 465 | '''Enia:''' You need to go to a giant mountain and burn someone to death. ''I want that shit to look like a road flare.'' \ |
| 466 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' You are scaring me. \ |
| 467 | '''Enia:''' The pain is immense and without limit. \ |
| 468 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere (Flees from Enia's room)]]'' How about I just go kill Satan instead? \ |
| 469 | '''Enia:''' '''''You cannot run from me!''''' |
| 470 | ** Made even more hilarious by Badger's comment on the video: |
| 471 | --->'''[=TheRussianBadger=]:''' you actually cannot run from me I don't know why you keep trying |
| 472 | * Tanith being voiced by ''[[WebVideo/VShojo Ironmouse]]''. VocalDissonance does not begin to describe what occurs, made especially hilarious by the sheer number of bluntly horrifying lines Ironmouse reads with her typical enthusiastic, cutesy voice. |
| 473 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' I think I chose the wrong voice actor. ''({{Corpsing}})''\ |
| 474 | '''Tanith:''' HAIL SATAN! |
| 475 | ** Also, Tanith's Crucible Knight is just named Gug, and [[PokemonSpeak he can only say his name]]. |
| 476 | --->'''Gug:''' Gug. \ |
| 477 | '''Tanith:''' Gug is in pain. \ |
| 478 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Aren't we all? |
| 479 | * Fighting the [[{{Acrofatic}} Godskin Noble]]: |
| 480 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' [[AwesomeMusic/EldenRing Also holy shit this music goes hard.]] This is an absolutely inappropriate boss theme for the inside of a Walmart. |
| 481 | * Rykard being consistently referred to as "Satan", even by his followers, is also pretty good. But then [=Max0r=] beats the first phase only for Rykard to reveal himself... with Beatsir's ''uncannily good'' Chills impression which fits perfectly as a hilarious substitute to Rykard's usual rasp. Then there's [=Max0r=] ''geeking out'' during the start of the second phase and calling himself [[ImYourBiggestFan Satan's biggest fan]] before catching himself. |
| 482 | -->'''Rykard:''' ''"Demigod of Mt. Gelnyr. [[CatchPhrase Number Fifteen]]: [[OhCrap Praetor Rykard.]] It appears that you are trying to cut off my [[{{Understatement}} pet snake]], so in return [[GroinAttack I will now cut off yours.]] The last thing you want on your journey to hell is to join the Serpent King as family, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."'' |
| 483 | * After killing Rykard. |
| 484 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Hey, so, uh, I might have killed Satan.\ |
| 485 | '''Tanith:''' You fucking ''[[BigWhat WHAT!?]]''\ |
| 486 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Yeah, so, uh... ''(Tanith vanishes)'' Where did she go?\ |
| 487 | '''Gug:''' Gug. \ |
| 488 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Oh... she's eating [[FlatWhat what?]]\ |
| 489 | ''(cut to Tanith eating Rykard's remains)'' |
| 490 | ** Gug is also listed in the credits as being played by [[AsHimself Gug gug]]. |
| 491 | |
| 492 | !Part 3 |
| 493 | * The video begins with a very stylised disclaimer that reads: |
| 494 | -->This Video on the Game Elden Ring Has Flashing Lights Because I Want All My Viewers to Suffer. |
| 495 | * A running gag throughout the video features Elden John doing several ''VideoGame/{{Fortnite}}'' dances in random locations - usually near hostile [=NPCs=] that immediately attack him. |
| 496 | * Early in the video, [=Max0r=] reveals one of its biggest surprises: it's sponsored. |
| 497 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' That's right, Gamer Supps made the mistake of sponsoring me. And they said, "Yes, you ''can'' make Elden Ring builds based on our flavors." This is a decision I will make them regret. |
| 498 | ** [=Max0r=] then uses the game's character creator to make some [[BodyHorror truly horrific]] characters representing each flavor. It must be seen to be believed. |
| 499 | * Melatonin's final monologue. |
| 500 | -->For so long I have waited for this chance.\ |
| 501 | To, one day, commit arson.\ |
| 502 | Tarnished, I have been with you every step of your journey...\ |
| 503 | ''And it made me want to vaporize myself''...\ |
| 504 | (in Minecraft)[[note]]She actually says this[[/note]].\ |
| 505 | This is goodbye, Tarnished.\ |
| 506 | ''I hope this world crushes your skull like a grape.'' |
| 507 | * ''Everything'' about the [[DualBoss Godskin Duo]] fight. |
| 508 | ** The introduction to the fight beforehand: |
| 509 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Do you get the feeling that this game is just getting ''too good''? Have you ever thought, uh, "What's the ''worst'' thing I can fight?" Well, my friend, think no longer. ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Godskin Duo.]]'' |
| 510 | ** As it turns out, [=Max0r=] wasn't content with ''just'' fighting the vanilla Godskin Duo, feeling that it [[BlatantLies wasn't hard enough]]... so he installs a mod that ''doubles'' the duo, meaning he has to fight '''four''' Godskins at ''the same time''. |
| 511 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' [[SincerityMode I genuinely regret this.]] |
| 512 | ** And then taken to the max when he discusses how the Godskins will keep respawning until their shared health bar is depleted, meaning that you're not fighting a Godskin ''Duo'', but rather a "Godskin Three-and-a-Half"... at which point the camera cuts to an absurd number of Godskins in the room at the same time. |
| 513 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Or in my case, [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill a Godskin 14]]. Because God is dead and we skinned him. |
| 514 | * During the fight with Maliketh proper, [=Max0r=] describes the location as "the ''evil'' shelter", because it's where [[SwappedRoles the dog euthanizes you]]. |
| 515 | * Gideon's off-camera monologue after Elden John defeats Maliketh and releases the Rune of Death. |
| 516 | -->The Rune of Death is unbound.\ |
| 517 | And that, is probably, a bad thing.\ |
| 518 | Now death is once more a part of this world.\ |
| 519 | [[BlatantLies Things definitely weren't dying before, I checked.]]\ |
| 520 | Your destiny lies close at hand, Tarnished.\ |
| 521 | Make the Lands Between whole again.\ |
| 522 | [[DareToBeBadass Restore the Elden Ring.]]\ |
| 523 | (We see Elden John regain consciousness at Leyndell)\ |
| 524 | [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall also how did you get here]]? |
| 525 | * Right after the above moment, Elden John seems like he's going to go through the Ashen Capital, before deciding [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere nope]], and going off to do the rest of the remaining game. And guess who he ends up seeing again. |
| 526 | -->'''Varre:''' Hey there, Tarnished!\ |
| 527 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ({{Beat}} as [[OhCrap he realises who it is]]) Oh god, take me back.\ |
| 528 | '''Varre:''' So, how's your love life been?\ |
| 529 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Well, I have a girlfriend (Ranni) now.\ |
| 530 | '''Varre:''' [[ArmorPiercingResponse Puppets don't count]] (''Rapid-fire Vine boom''). Listen Tarnished, [[BrutalHonesty I pity you. A lot.]] So I am letting you in on an... Opportunity.\ |
| 531 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Is it human trafficking?\ |
| 532 | '''Varre:''' (''zooming in on Varre's face with [[SynchroVox a realistic mouth and eyes]]'') [[BluntYes Yes.]] Deep below our feet, on the shores of The Blood Swamp, ('''[=Max0r=]:''' [[DoubleTake The Blood what!?]]) there lies a kingdom, for the rejected, the poor, and especially... the incels. Like you. (''[=Max0r=] is now wearing the Albinauric Mask'') Together, with the power of the Great Empyrean Miquella, which I kidnapped :)\ |
| 533 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' You, kidnapped a God?\ |
| 534 | '''Varre:''' I had free candy. We will overthrow the order of the Erdtree, and replace it, with an order, of Pure Blood.\ |
| 535 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' (''With the immolated Erdtree right behind him'') You know I set the tree on fire, right?\ |
| 536 | '''Varre:''' That's not relevant right now. Consider this, your formal invitation to Hustler's University.\ |
| 537 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' I'm gonna pass...\ |
| 538 | '''Varre:''' No refunds. (Grabs [=Max0r=]'s hand)\ |
| 539 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' [[OhCrap Wait, no! I didn't ask for thi]]- (Right outside of Mohgwyn Palace) He took my bones :( |
| 540 | [[/folder]] |
| 541 | |
| 542 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Ultrakill]] |
| 543 | !!Part 1 |
| 544 | * The video starts off relatively simple and epic, very unlike the [=Max0r=] style... [[MoodWhiplash until V1 comes in and everything becomes pleasantly like his other works again]]. |
| 545 | -->'''V1:''' ''[kicks down a door]'' '''SWIGGITY SWOOTY'''\ |
| 546 | '''Gabriel:''' What does that even ''MEAN?''\ |
| 547 | '''V1:''' '''I AM INSIDE YOUR WALLS'''\ |
| 548 | '''Gabriel:''' [[Memes/FistOfTheNorthStar You call shooting a coin a martial art?!]] |
| 549 | * Gianni's presence is expected seeing that he's voiced in [=Max0r's=] previous videos. But since he's ''[[ParodyAssistance voiced Gabriel himself]]'', it's icing on the cake -- lots of Gabriel's lines in this video are either slight modifications of what he actually says in-game, or community memes that Gianni indulges. Then, [=Max0r=] calls Gabriel out on having daddy issues with his constant aggrandizement of God. The angel takes it [[SarcasmMode very well]]. |
| 550 | -->'''Gabriel:''' To question God is ''heresy,'' Machine. But for your information, I am driving the Corpse of King Minos like a [[SophisticatedAsHell fucking Mazda]]. |
| 551 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Okay. |
| 552 | -->'''Gabriel:''' It appears that your choice is made. As the righteous hand of The Father, I will beat you down back into silicon. |
| 553 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' I think someone has daddy issues. |
| 554 | -->'''Gabriel:''' '''''[[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES!]]''''' ''I AM PAPA'S SPECIAL'' '''''FUCKING''''' ''BOY!''\ |
| 555 | ''[later]''\ |
| 556 | '''[=Max0r=]''' I wonder if it hurt when he fell from Heaven.\ |
| 557 | '''Gabriel:''' YES! YES, IT FUCKING DID! |
| 558 | ** The game is so fast-paced that unedited footage is on par with [=Max0r's=] manic editing. |
| 559 | |
| 560 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' I really hope you don't mind, but I'm going to use [the Shotgun parry] for the rest of the game. And if that hurts your eyes too much, don't worry, it can get worse.\ |
| 561 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' I love being able to understand my screen. Really sorry if you thought this video was going to have a bitrate.\ |
| 562 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[during the fight with V2]'' The fight is so fast it's editing itself. |
| 563 | * "For some [[VisualPun back]]story, this game is [[{{Understatement}} loosely]] based on a [[Literature/TheDivineComedy 14th Century fanfiction about God]], therefore, what you are about to see is canon to [[TheVerse the Christverse]]; ''I will not be accused of blasphemy'' ''[[NoodleIncident again]].''" |
| 564 | * The Malicious Face is often compared to the [[MemeticMutation Moai faces]] in this video. He finds one in Limbo and... |
| 565 | -->'''Gabriel:''' Machine, I have taken a selfie with the funny rock. |
| 566 | ** After dealing with Something Wicked, he decides to open up the bestiary to calm down. Unfortunately, it lands on the one thing he didn't need to see after that. |
| 567 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Let's just, uh... look at the catalog.\ |
| 568 | ''[it opens to the Malicious Face's bestiary entry, causing the computer to erupt into Vine Booms]''\ |
| 569 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Never mind. ''[actively scrambling away from the computer]'' |
| 570 | * Some parts of the video have [=Max0r=]'s genuine reactions to some bits in the game such as the Cancerous Rat and the second Limbo Level. |
| 571 | * Every single Cerberus demands he play Uno with them. And in a bit of canon compliance, this even extends to the ones that don't even attack. |
| 572 | * The Hideous Mass is given the personality of an up and coming Youtuber who's recording his audio with a tin can and a copper wire. |
| 573 | -->'''Hideous Mass:''' Top Ten Moments in ''ULTRAKILL'', Number One: ''YOUR FUCKING'' '''''DEATH.''''' |
| 574 | * V2 gives [=Max0r=] a real run for his money. |
| 575 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Good luck trying to fucking heal, because hitting him up close is a Parkinson's simulation. ''I just want to fucking shoot him.'' Human brains are not fucking built for this. We're supposed to be [[BlackComedy threshing wheat and dying of smallpox]].[[note]]Which is a reference to a quote from WebVideo/Jerma985 from his own Ultrakill livestream playthrough, said during the fight with [[ThatOneBoss Gabriel]].[[/note]]\ |
| 576 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Overall, the beauty of this fight is that it's simple but complicated. Simple in that [[MirrorBoss he has your moveset]], but complicated in that [[LightningBruiser he has your moveset]]. |
| 577 | * [[NoJustNoReaction His reaction to the entire Dating Sim secret level]]. |
| 578 | * This magnificent exchange when [=Max0r=] reaches [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever King Minos]]: |
| 579 | -->'''Minos:''' Excuse me, sir, you're just in time for the event.\ |
| 580 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' [[OhCrap What event?]]\ |
| 581 | '''Minos:''' ''[drawing back a fist]'' [[GroinAttack Weiner Compression Day.]]\ |
| 582 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' [[FlatWhat The fuck]]-- ''[gets punched by Minos]'' |
| 583 | * Throughout the fight, Gabriel actually ''reacts'' to the things [=Max0r=] says. His ideas of taunts are... odd. |
| 584 | --->'''Gabriel:''' You aren't even circumcised, machine!\ |
| 585 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Excuse me?\ |
| 586 | '''(later)'''\ |
| 587 | '''Gabriel:''' You are ''CRINGE'', machine! You are not POG CHAMP!\ |
| 588 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' What are you fucking saying? |
| 589 | ** Gabriel's line upon his defeat is memeworthy as well. |
| 590 | --->'''Gabriel:''' How can this be... Bested by this... ''this [=GoPro=]''?\ |
| 591 | ''[the "SPONSOR ME" text appears]''\ |
| 592 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' I'm actually a Nikon.\ |
| 593 | '''Gabriel:''' You insignificant ''FUCK''! This is not o--\ |
| 594 | ''[Gabriel teleports before he finishes the sentence]''\ |
| 595 | '''Gabriel:''' May your Ls be many, and your bitches few. |
| 596 | |
| 597 | !!Part 2 |
| 598 | * Gabriel's opening monologue. |
| 599 | -->'''Gabriel:''' Limbo. Lust. All gone. With Gluttony soon to follow. Your kind know nothing but hunger; purged all life on the upper layers and yet they remain unsatiated. As do you. You've taken everything from me, Machine. And now, all that remains, is ''perfect''. ''Hatred''. |
| 600 | -->'''V1:''' ''[binary gibberish]''[[labelnote:*]]translating the binary reveals V1 is responding with a hilariously dismissive "k"[[/labelnote]]\ |
| 601 | '''Gabriel:''' ''[exasperated]'' I am trying to have a moment. |
| 602 | * To unlock the Prime Sanctum, you need to beat every level in Act 1 with a Perfect rank. This means [=Max0r=] having to fight every single lunatic he's fought multiple times ''even more''. It's clear that he's having fun playing, but he's ''not'' happy to hear the bosses again. |
| 603 | -->'''Gabriel:''' H-How can this--\ |
| 604 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' '''''SHUT UP...''''' "this was not worth it," I said to my bitcoin assassin. |
| 605 | * [=TheRussianBadger=] returns to [=Max0r=]'s videos playing the role of Minos Prime, who is absolutely ''fucked up'' on Percs and has become nigh-unstoppable. |
| 606 | -->'''Minos Prime:''' '''My blood is a controlled substance in 39 states.''' |
| 607 | ** One of his taunts is also a good tagline for the Minos Prime boss fight in general. |
| 608 | --->'''Minos Prime:''' You know how to parry, don't you?\ |
| 609 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Uhh... [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Maybe.]]\ |
| 610 | '''Minos Prime:''' ''[EvilLaugh [[FunWithSubtitles transcribed as]] "[Literature/TheDivineComedy]", [[FlashStep teleports in front of V1]]]'' [[{{Superboss}} Time to learn.]] ''[dropkicks V1 to the sound of the Taco Bell gong]'' |
| 611 | ** During his attempts, Minos Prime lays him out so fast that he inadvertently ''skips the game over screen'' the moment he ran out of health and [[YouAreAlreadyDead has to stop to process that he died]]. |
| 612 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' ...''Jesus Christ.'' |
| 613 | * He picks up the DualWielding powerup and is excited to have even more firepower. When he comes across another powerup, he gets amused at the third arm showing up. Then he finds another one... |
| 614 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' Jesus Christ I can't hear anything |
| 615 | * The Sisyphean Insurrectionist is pointed out to be a SuperPersistentPredator, repeatedly clobbering [=Max0r=] to death to the point of trying to following him back to the start of the level and repeatedly comes close to smashing his way in from the ''starting elevator shaft''. |
| 616 | -->''"My brother in Christ, ''THIS IS THE SPAWN.''"'' |
| 617 | ** It looks like the Insurrectionist gives up for a moment. Just a moment. |
| 618 | --->'''[=Max0r=]:''' I think he's gone.\ |
| 619 | '''Insurrectionist:''' Oh, machine... are you ''HIDING FROM ME?'' |
| 620 | * At the end of the fight with the Mysterious Druid (& Owl), we get a live reaction from [=Max0r=] to the fight's ending, the visual and audio effects applied in-game taking him off guard because they feel like an edit ''he'd'' make. |
| 621 | ** And when the fight begins, he makes a NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer over how this is ''not'' a video cameo, this is an ''actual'' boss fight in the game featuring and voiced by WebVideo/MandaloreGaming. Though it ''is'' and it ''isn't'' a cameo -- Mandalore's lines in the video aren't actually in the game. Hilariously, said lines are just Mandalore complaining about Max waking him up and asking [[SelfDeprecation "who are you?"]] |
| 622 | * At one point during V2's second boss fight in Clair de Soleil, [=Max0r=] demonstrates that you can enrage V2 [[CrossesTheLineTwice by hitting him with the arm you stole from the last fight]]. He takes this rather predictably: |
| 623 | -->'''V2:''' '''''YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!'''''\ |
| 624 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' [[BlatantLies He loves it when you do that]]. |
| 625 | * Not that V2 isn't coping in his own way, letting out a barrage of jokes as he goes apeshit. |
| 626 | -->''"This one will cost you an arm ''and'' a leg, brother!"\ |
| 627 | "What's the matter, Brother? Does your ''arm hurt?! '''BECAUSE I CAN FIX THAT!!!'''''"'' |
| 628 | * While describing the player's growth compared to V2: |
| 629 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' But we've grown in the one way that V2 never could: Emotionally.\ |
| 630 | '''V2:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase I'LLFUCKINGKILLYOU!]] |
| 631 | * V2 decides to cut his losses and bail. [=Max0r=] then gets to become the new SuperPersistentPredator of Greed after killing the Insurrectionist. |
| 632 | -->'''V2:''' ''I WON'T GIVE YOU THE'' '''''PLEASURE''''' ''OF KILLING ME!''\ |
| 633 | ''[V2 punches a hole in the wall and escapes down the pyramid]''\ |
| 634 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[[GetBackHereBoss You get back here right this]]'' '''''[[TranquilFury FUCKING INSTANT]]'''''. |
| 635 | * V2's escape is shown as V2 desperately skating down the pyramid, only to see a rapidly oncoming V1 [[Memes/GuiltyGear Jack-O' Posing]] at him, which causes V2 to lose balance and collide with the ground at terminal velocity. |
| 636 | -->'''V2:''' ''YOUR FORM IS'' '''''INCREDIBLE!!!'''''\ |
| 637 | ''[as [=Max0r=] lands on the ground...]''\ |
| 638 | '''V2:''' '''''FUCKING NIKON!!!!!''''' ''[crashes into the ground to his death]''\ |
| 639 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ...Is he okay? |
| 640 | * [=Max0r's=] reaction to the first introduction of Wrath goes off on some... [[NonSequitur interesting tangents]]... |
| 641 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' [[CatchPhrase Hey, guys, it's Max0r here]], back at it again in the... ''[{{Beat}}]'' ''...Chinese lead-mines.'' [[BlatantLies The children love it]], it's just like ''[[VideoGame/{{Minecraft}} Minecra]]-[[{{Corpsing}} hahaaft]]''. So you guys remember [=V2=], right? [[SarcasmMode I know, it's been a long time]]. He really gave us a [[{{Pun}} hand]]. ''[{{Beat}}]'' [[AnArmAndALeg Again]]. This is the {{Grappling Hook|Pistol}}, and it's ''really'' good at bypassing the entire game. [[SimpleYetAwesome It's also quite simple]] -- you either catch the fish, [[DeadlyEuphemism or the fish catches you]]. It can lead to some... [[SequenceBreaking odd results]]. So we head through the halls of the Jiangxi Copper Company, at which point I fell into the [[UsefulNotes/{{Xinjiang}} Uyghur Disposal Sha]]-''[[{{Corpsing}} hehaft]]''... |
| 642 | * [=Max0r's=] reaction to the [[TheGroundIsLava Challenge objective of 5-1]].[[labelnote:*]]Complete the level without touching any water, in the game's ''primary water level''.[[/labelnote]] |
| 643 | -->''"Don't touch any ''what''?"'' |
| 644 | * [=Max0r=] showcases the rise of Jakito, declaring him a "Fumo Demon", and regrets his decision as he watches Jakito rise from the depths of Wrath. |
| 645 | -->'''Jakito:''' '''''A NEW GOD IS BORN'''''\ |
| 646 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[[DissonantSerenity what have i done.]]''\ |
| 647 | ''[an immense build-up as the screen fades to white before abruptly cutting to the Steam Library window]''\ |
| 648 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' ...it crashes the game. |
| 649 | * After the bizarre aside that was Florp and Jakito's EasterEgg, [=Max0r=] talks about how this game also has buttplug support, and it makes it vibrate with damage. Both he and Gianni have a little fun with that fact. |
| 650 | -->'''Gabriel:''' Machine, the developers put out a patch, [[{{Corpsing}} I'm in your prostate now]]. |
| 651 | * After showcasing the Ferryman's boss fight, he makes note of the fact that the ragdolls in ''Ultrakill'' in general, on the rare occasion they're used, will almost ''always'' break. He then stresses this by refighting the Ferryman at least four more times to show that he will ''consistently'' glitch out, then slingshot into the ocean. |
| 652 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' So after four seconds of ''very'' adverse weather, I finally decide to kill a man the only way I know how: ''fucking spaghettification''. |
| 653 | * Early in the video, [=Max0r=] spawns a bunch of Hideous Masses in sandbox mode while sarcastically quipping [[SarcasmMode "I'm sure this is exactly what Hakita wanted."]] Come 6-1 and... |
| 654 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' ''[realizing he's stuck in a boss room with ''two'' Hideous Masses]'' Oh my God. [[BrickJoke This is EXACTLY what Hakita wanted!]] |
| 655 | * The end of Gabriel's second fight is played about how a good chunk of Ultrakill fans, [[https://twitter.com/getgianni/status/1552183365423534080 and Gabriel's own voice actor]], [[HoYay felt about it]]. |
| 656 | -->'''Gabriel:''' Ahahaha... Is this...? My blood?\ |
| 657 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' I think I broke him.\ |
| 658 | '''Gabriel:''' No, Machine... [[WorthyOpponent I've never felt... so alive.]]\ |
| 659 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' You're making this weird again.\ |
| 660 | '''Gabriel:''' These feelings... I... I need some time.\ |
| 661 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence Did we fight or have sex?]]\ |
| 662 | '''Gabriel:''' ''[hastily]'' Bye. ''[[[VillainExitStageLeft Bad To The Bone.mp3]]]''\ |
| 663 | ''[{{Beat}}]''\ |
| 664 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' I miss her bros. |
| 665 | [[/folder]] |
| 666 | |
| 667 | [[folder:Genshin Impact Is A Playable Anime]] |
| 668 | * How does [=Max0r=] make it to the other regions for his arena? ''By breaking the game and exploiting glitches''. |
| 669 | * The fact that [=Max0r=] managed to get '''''[[WebAnimation/PhaseConnect Pipkin Pippa]]''''' to voice Nahida is also hilarious. |
| 670 | |
| 671 | -->'''Nahida:''' SHINJIIIII! GET THE ''FUCK'' OUT OF THE [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion EVA]] RIGHT NOW!\ |
| 672 | '''Scaramouche:''' You can't tell me what to do anymore, Mom! I'm finally inside of another man!\ |
| 673 | '''Nahida:''' SHINJI, WHAT THE '''''FUCK?!?!'''''\ |
| 674 | '''Scaramouche:''' [[AGodAmI I AM THE ALL-KNOWING GOD]]! |
| 675 | * His explanation for his Sumeru characters must be heard to be believed. |
| 676 | -->'''Max:''' I have to explain my team. The.. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck uh... th- the Kindergarten]]. [[TokenMiniMoe Nahida]] is... ({{Beat}}) ICanExplain. My Girl a 10... but [[OlderThanTheyLook she is 10]]. |
| 677 | [[/folder]] |
| 678 | |
| 679 | [[folder:Helldivers 2 Review | TRIPLE THE DEFENSE BUDGET | Starship Bloopers]] |
| 680 | * The fact that his username on some shots of his screen during his early days of playing through the game is "BDSM gaming" will illicit some chuckles.[[note]][[https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2067616808 Rimmy explains on his stream]] that Max's username used to be BDSM gaming and tried changing it to Max, however the former username still showed up and thus Max couldn't get rid of it for the longest time.[[/note]] |
| 681 | * He claims that anyone who pilots the [[MiniMecha Patriot Exosuit]] is disabled and that he made sure to have the helldiver crawl from one mech to another because [[ItAmusedMe it amused Max for immersion reasons]]. |
| 682 | * He claims that he plays on difficulty 7 or above while mentioning that [[Film/StarshipTroopers 7 years old is the minimum age]] for enlisting. |
| 683 | * While WebVideo/BaoTheWhale [[https://youtu.be/8RM_5w0qhxA?si=-kNrw4BKtPyCoxgL was reacting to Max's]] video, Bao claims that she was casted as the "[[CrossesTheLineTwice mentally ill girl]]" screaming in the video ([[DontExplainTheJoke even though in reality, they played a few sessions and Max just kept her reactions in]]). |
| 684 | -->'''Bao:''' How am I on fire in water!? |
| 685 | -->'''Max:''' (narrating the video) I will never unhear that scream. |
| 686 | * He actually misses the randomness of the "Electronic Countermeasures" operation modifier and begs for the developers to put it back in the game. |
| 687 | * The RunningGag of Max just using emotes while everyone else he plays with are fighting against either the automatons or terminids. |
| 688 | * He refers to the "Eagle Cluster Bomb" as the "air strike that specializes in killing everything except the enemy." |
| 689 | * While playing with Whiskey, Rimmy, and Luma in the video, Whiskey claims that the 500kg bomb is ready, only for her to get knocked off to the side, releasing said strategem right next to Max. |
| 690 | -->'''Rimmy:''' Whiskey, no! Oh God! Run! [[MadnessMantra Run! Run! Run!]] |
| 691 | -->'''Max:''' What have you fucking done!? |
| 692 | -->'''caption:''' She was not lying; That 500kg do be ready. |
| 693 | * He describes the Arc Thrower as the "[[CrossesTheLineTwice average American police taser]] with unlimited ammo, automatic targeting, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick and a vendetta against teammates]]". |
| 694 | -->'''Chester:''' ''(As Max accidentally obliterates him with the Arc Thrower)'' MAX???????????????????? |
| 695 | * He notes that the civilians and scientists that they need to [[EscortMission escort to safety]] have their necks move like chickens. |
| 696 | [[/folder]] |
| 697 | |
| 698 | [[folder:An Incorrect Summary of Resident Evil 4 | Fun Times in Europe]] |
| 699 | * Some of the ArtificialStupidity moments clips that [=Max0r=] showcases |
| 700 | ** One is of the Ganado mob following Leon, and one villager throws his axe and hits another villager right in front of him rather than Leon. Another scene later shows a villager throwing their axe and Leon dodges by ''standing still''. |
| 701 | ** In the fish farm area, there were two different enemies glitching out of existence in the water, and another of a Ganado crying "¿Dónde estás?" ("Where are you?!") while Leon is ''right behind them''. |
| 702 | * Wes returns this time as the voice of Méndez, who she portrays as a disturbingly chipper Mormon [[VocalDissonance while not bothering to deepen her voice]]. |
| 703 | * The entire HoYay take on Leon and Luis relationship, starting with their chained-up scene in the abandoned factory, which was the scene that inspired [[WordOfGod [=Max0r=] to run with the gag]]. |
| 704 | -->'''Luis:''' You know chains aren’t normally my thing. But uh, we don’t kinkshame in this house.\ |
| 705 | ''[[[SuddenSoundtrackStop Mariachi music stops]]]''\ |
| 706 | '''Leon:''' The fuck? ''[Pulls Luis closer]''\ |
| 707 | '''Luis:''' [[TooKinkyToTorture Harder daddy!]]\ |
| 708 | ''[{{Beat}}]''\ |
| 709 | '''Leon:''' What?\ |
| 710 | '''Luis:''' What? |
| 711 | * Leon takes a moment in the lake to reflect on his life, deciding to put aside mistakes in his racist past as he decides to focus on his [[IgnoredEpiphany racist future]]. |
| 712 | * The RunningGag of Leon forgetting Ashley behind in the mob of enemies. |
| 713 | * Everything about the cabin siege scene in [=Max0r=]'s version. |
| 714 | ** The HoYay between Leon and Luis goes off the chart here, with Leon [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday aggressively asserting his heterosexuality]] by saying [[Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit he has relationships with women]] and [[ImmediateSelfContradiction sex with men]]. |
| 715 | --->'''Luis:''' You know, I don't make the rules, but, uh... I think that means you're fucking gay, Hombre. |
| 716 | ** Leon and Luis lift a closet for a hiding space for Ashley to crawl into, and tells her to [[DoubleEntendre "get in the closet"]]. |
| 717 | --->'''Ashley:''' I- Leon, wh- The- fuck is that supposed to mean? |
| 718 | ** Later in the scene, Leon and Luis are inexplicably shirtless, which is compounded by [=Max0r=]'s narration of "two hot and sweaty men". |
| 719 | * Leon's CaptainObvious moment. |
| 720 | -->'''Leon:''' Yup. That’s a door.\ |
| 721 | '''Ashley:''' Okay.\ |
| 722 | '''Leon:''' I am very smart. |
| 723 | * Leon's mistakenly poking a YouAreFat comment to Ashley. |
| 724 | -->'''Leon:''' Ashley. You’re too heavy!\ |
| 725 | '''Ashley:''' LEON. I’M GONNA SKIN YOU ALIVE. |
| 726 | [[/folder]] |
| 727 | |
| 728 | [[folder:Others]] |
| 729 | * A [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDiTbAIBcko clip]] from an old (now deleted) series of [=Max0r=]'s ''[[VideoGame/{{ARMA}} ARMA III]]'' playthroughs with his friends. |
| 730 | -->"[[Characters/HololiveJapanGenerationFour Watame]] brings ''vengeance''! '''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext REVENGE FOR CHECHNYA!]]'''" |
| 731 | * While playing ''Victoria 3'' as Portugal with his friends, [[https://youtu.be/QLMi3qam-Bk?t=665 he has one thing to say]]: |
| 732 | -->'''[=Max0r=]:''' [[ThatCameOutWrong I just realized]], I can get [[{{Hermaphrodite}} Futa]].\ |
| 733 | '''Rimmy and Whiskey:''' [[BigWhat W-what?]]\ |
| 734 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' I'm declaring an interest. |
| 735 | [[/folder]] |
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