| 1 | * Fred the squirrel. His literal-mindedness turns all of his dialogue into pure funny -- especially in "Otter Things Have Happened," when Marlene (who is dating him) doesn't realize at first that Fred's not ''trying'' to be funny. |
| 2 | -->'''Marlene''': What does Fred like? What does he dislike?\ |
| 3 | '''Fred''': [[BuffySpeak Oh, I like a lot of things. Except the things I don't like. Stupid things I don't like]]!\ |
| 4 | '''Marlene''': You are really funny! |
| 5 | ** It gets better when he and King Julien duke it out over Marlene: |
| 6 | --->'''King Julien''': We are here to fight for Marlene's paw!\ |
| 7 | '''Fred''': Nah, she can keep her paw. I already have four of my own. ''[balances on tail, sticking hands and feet in air]'' |
| 8 | *** And during the fight, Fred didn't do anything, yet he still won. |
| 9 | --->'''Marlene''': Fred, what did you do to him?\ |
| 10 | '''Fred''': Nothing. He did it all on his own.\ |
| 11 | '''King Julien''': ''(rising beaten, bruised, and black eyed)'' I hate to admit it, but this is true. |
| 12 | * [[RunningGag The constant references to the inconsistent fates of Manfredi and Johnson.]] The story is ''never'' the same and it's just one NoodleIncident after another! Whatever the case those two had to have been the unluckiest penguins ever to waddle! |
| 13 | -->'''Marlene:''' Uh yeah, piranha don't fly.\ |
| 14 | '''Skipper:''' That's what Manfredi and Johnson said back in Ecuador. We buried what was left of them with a teaspoon.\ |
| 15 | \ |
| 16 | '''Skipper:''' Well why don't we ask Manfredi and Johnson? Oh, we can't! Because they fell for the ol' exploding elephant foot!\ |
| 17 | \ |
| 18 | '''Private:''' "Easy?!" Was it easy for Manfredi and Johnson when that undersea escape tunnel turned out to be the business end of a beluga whale? They couldn't even speak for a month!\ |
| 19 | '''Kowalski:''' And even then, it was gibberish.\ |
| 20 | \ |
| 21 | '''Skipper:''' "Accident-prone" Private? Oh, I've seen accident-prone. Try Manfredi and Johnson with a Chinese lantern. And six bottles of rocket fuel!\ |
| 22 | '''Kowalski:''' ''[tearing up]'' Worst talent show ever! |
| 23 | ** Then comes "The Penguin Who Loved Me" where we finally see them on screen! Still alive in a Seaville enclosure, wearing more bruises and scars than professional hockey players, and completely ignored by the guys! |
| 24 | * Any time Mort acknowledges his status as TheChewToy: "Yay, I'm expendable!" |
| 25 | ** "Yay, job security!" |
| 26 | * Private's sugar buzz in "Skorca!" which allows him to ramble off a large number of {{non sequitur}}s: |
| 27 | -->'''Private''': My [[SdrawkcabName name backwards]] is "Etavirp." What's a virp? Is it sugar? |
| 28 | ** The other penguins pretending to fight the Skorka to appease Private, especially Kowalski being "dragged away". |
| 29 | ** Julien getting scared of "Two-Scoopula," an inflatable shaped like an ice cream cone, at the end of the same episode. |
| 30 | * "The Red Squirrel": The penguins meet their idol, special agent Buck Rockgut (voiced by Creator/ClancyBrown using the same voice he uses for [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants Mr. Krabs]]), hiding in a secret bunker in an unspecified location. In the 47 years he's waited for his arch-nemesis, the Red Squirrel, to re-emerge, he's devolved into a level of paranoia dwarfing that of Skipper. In his mad search for the squirrel, he begins incarcerating the penguins' fellow zoo animals (targeting Burt for liking nuts; Marlene for discovering a picture of a red squirrel; and Mason and Phil for [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking having]] [[{{Pun}} read]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking a book]], the latter of which causes Private to exclaim, "That doesn't even make ''sense''!"). The RunningGag of Buck saying, "You know who else likes (insert interest here)? ''[[SayMyName THE RED]] [[LargeHam SQUIRREL!]]''", followed by the Penguins dramatically reacting with shock, never gets old. |
| 31 | ** Private eventually has enough of the insanity, and has Fred wear an eyepatch, similarly to the evil animal, and act as bait for Rockgut. When the ruse is eventually exposed, Private finally lays into the crazy penguin, calling him "completely mental" and pointing out the insane logic of locking up a whole bunch of zoo animals because he believes his enemy from decades ago is still out to get him. |
| 32 | --> '''Buck Rockgut''': Oh, I get it now. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The Red Squirrel hates penguins!]] And you know who ''else'' hates penguins?!\ |
| 33 | '''Kowalski''': The Red...Squ...?\ |
| 34 | '''Buck Rockgut''': '''[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment THE RED SQUIRREL!!!!!]]'''\ |
| 35 | ''[Penguins react in shock]''\ |
| 36 | '''Private''': [[BigWhat WHAT?!]] He's...he--OK, he's talking nonsense! |
| 37 | * The end of "Tagged," where the scientist shows the new examples of penguin communication: the "up high," the "down low" and the "too slow." |
| 38 | * The end of "Crown Fools," where the penguins and Marlene realize that they have gone through some tough tasks to recover Julien's crown, only to realize after the fact that he had a spare. Rico spits up a crowbar, which Marlene then grabs and chases Julien with. |
| 39 | -->'''Julien:''' [[OhCrap "WHAT!?]] NO! Never on a Fun-day! Seriously. [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!]] |
| 40 | ** This could also double as a Crowning Moment of Awesome as, by that point in the episode, [[JerkAss Julien]] REALLY [[UngratefulBastard had it coming.]] |
| 41 | * Private interrupting Kowalski's epic plan to take back the jar containing Julien's groove in "Out of the Groove" by saying, [[StatingTheSimpleSolution "Wouldn't it be easier to just sneak into the habitat and take the jar...like I just did?"]] |
| 42 | * The IKnowYouKnowIKnow exchange from "Go Fish", especially once it gets to the MindScrew-ing reveal that Julien and Skipper are actually each other. |
| 43 | ** The penguins' reactions every time they take a bite out of the fish crackers. Once Skipper says “ABORT! ABORT!" they all try and recover, with Kowalski banging on the wall, Rico collapsing and Private... having an [[VomitDiscretionShot ugly moment off-screen]]. |
| 44 | ** "Sorry Skipper, I don't know how the holiday snaps got in there. Dooh!" Cue Private getting [[DopeSlap slapped]] whenever a picture of the penguins at the beach are shown (and the pictures are hilarious as well). There's even a picture of Skipper slapping Private while ''Skipper is slapping Private''. |
| 45 | * "No, I will not suck seed. No one will be sucking seed!" |
| 46 | ** Seconds later, he has another: "We shall see who is ridiculous when popcorn begins exploding from my bottom!" |
| 47 | ** From the same episode, contrast the penguins and the lemurs' methods of getting the popcorn. The lemurs sit on top of them like their popcorn eggs, and the penguins interrogate a kernel. |
| 48 | ** Also, Skipper realizing that he shouldn't have installed deadly spikes on the roof of the hideout. |
| 49 | * Kowalski attempting to decipher what BFF means after Dr. Blowhole declares Julien to be Skipper's BFF. |
| 50 | -->'''Kowalski:''' Buffalo Fire Fighters- No. Baby Fat Flingers? No! Ah, here it is! Best Friends Forever.\ |
| 51 | '''Skipper:''' YOU’RE STARK RAVING MAD!!!\ |
| 52 | ''[Kowalski looks hurt]''\ |
| 53 | '''Skipper:''' Not you Kowalski, him[Dr. Blowhole]. |
| 54 | * "Tell me we came out of the MOUTH." -In full deadpan mode. |
| 55 | * "It's About Time" had loads of these. |
| 56 | --> '''Kowalski-B:''' Skipper! You've got to stop me! ''[Skipper kicks him without getting up.]''Ow!\ |
| 57 | '''Skipper:''' ''[deadpan]'' There. You're stopped. |
| 58 | ** All the funnier because Private pulled something similar earlier. |
| 59 | ** Kowalski's reasoning for naming the Chrono-Tron as thus instead of just a time machine as the others suggested: |
| 60 | ---> '''Kowalski:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, sure.]] And while we're at it, let's call the Great Wall a "fence," the Mona Lisa a "doodle" and Albert Einstein "Mr. Smarty-pants!!!" |
| 61 | ** Compare Private and then Skipper's questions about the future. Private's ideal dream is as [[SugarBowl saccharine]] [[HappilyEverAfter as you expect]], while Skipper's ideal future is especially freakish. |
| 62 | --> '''Private:''' Tell me, am I living in a cottage in Nova Scotia, happily married with one egg and another on the way?\ |
| 63 | '''Kowalski-A:''' Uh, no.\ |
| 64 | '''Private:''' ''[disappointed]]'' Aw... |
| 65 | ** In comparison: |
| 66 | --> '''[[NightmareFetishist Skipper]]:''' Tell me, does the Earth become a [[AfterTheEnd post-apocalyptic wasteland]] terrorized by roaming bands of irradiated mutants?\ |
| 67 | '''Kowalski-B:''' Uh, no.\ |
| 68 | '''Skipper:''' ''[disappointed]]'' Aw... |
| 69 | ** Kowalski's first reaction to seeing his two future selves? |
| 70 | --> '''Kowalski''': [[DistractedByMyOwnSexy Wow, we are really good looking!]]\ |
| 71 | '''All three Kowalskis''': Mmmhmmm!\ |
| 72 | ''[Skipper looks at Private with an unamused look.]'' |
| 73 | ** After the situation is resolved, Skipper tells Kowalski to make something more innocuous, like a sno-cone machine. Cut to ''New York City buried sno-cone ice'' and Skipper [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 crying out for the buried Statue of Liberty]]. Then Kowalski gives him a sno-cone, and Skipper immediately decides it was WorthIt. |
| 74 | * In "Hello, Dollface", Rico wants a voice chip for his doll, so Private gives him one from a unicorn doll that's supposed to parody little girl educational shows (it says stuff like "be true to yourself", "don't hurt others", etc.). After Rico gets angry at it, Julien tells him to listen to whatever the doll says. HilarityEnsues, culminating in Hippie Rico beating up the others with Ms. Perky. |
| 75 | -->"I thought hippies were nonviolent!"\ |
| 76 | "Eh, whaddyagonnado ..." *WHACK* |
| 77 | * "Snakehead" is chock full of funny moments. Like Skipper's CaptainsLog: |
| 78 | ** "Skipper's log. Crew nervous, edgy, gripped by the icy fingers of fear. They may be planning a [[TheMutiny mutiny]]..." [[spoiler:Only to turn and see Rico ready to strike with a hammer.]] |
| 79 | ** "Skipper's log. [[SarcasmMode The crew is performing spectacularily and not at all like a bunch of nancy cats.]]" |
| 80 | ** "Kowalski's log" *sees Rico and Private staring at him* "What? Too soon?" |
| 81 | ** Also, this: |
| 82 | -->'''Skipper:''' Ready all-\ |
| 83 | '''Kowalski:''' ''(ScreamsLikeALittleGirl)'' '''''[[OhCrap FIRE EVERYTHING!!!]]'''''\ |
| 84 | ''[Cue everyone but Skipper pressing random buttons as [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy all their weapons fire randomly with the Snakehead nowhere in sight]].]''\ |
| 85 | '''Skipper:''' ''({{Facepalm}})'' Did ''I'' say "Fire all weapons?"\ |
| 86 | '''Kowalski:''' No. But we could see where you were going with it. |
| 87 | * The training montage in "Whispers and Coups". |
| 88 | ** "This is my peashooter! There are many like it...." |
| 89 | * Hans' EpicFail of an attempt to insult Skipper: |
| 90 | -->"I kissed [[MySisterIsOffLimits your sister!]] On the lips!"\ |
| 91 | "I don't ''have'' a sister, and if I did, she wouldn't ''have'' lips!"\ |
| 92 | "Really? ...Then who ''did'' I kiss...?" |
| 93 | ** The Mexican Spanish dub makes this even funnier. |
| 94 | -->"I don't have a sister, but I do have a ''[[UnsettlingGenderReveal kind of weird]]'' [[UnsettlingGenderReveal brother]]!" |
| 95 | ** The same episode gave us this exchange: |
| 96 | -->'''Kowalski:''' Here is a pie chart of gifts one might give to a friend - cards, flowers, pastries, and of course, pie. |
| 97 | -->'''Rico:''' Yum. |
| 98 | -->'''Kowalski:''' On the other hand, here are things one might give to an enemy - wedgies, contagious viruses, flaming sacks of doo-doo, and of course, ''poison'' pie. |
| 99 | -->'''Rico:''' Not yum. |
| 100 | ** And this moment: |
| 101 | -->'''Skipper''': ''(sarcastically)'' Oh sure, Private, and then he'll fly away on his magic unicorn, spreading rainbows and pixie dust wherever he goes. |
| 102 | -->'''Private''': ''(thrilled)'' [[SarcasmBlind Hans has a magic unicorn!?]] ''([[DopeSlap smack]])'' Oh, I guess not. |
| 103 | * Three words: New Zealand laughing owls. Cue the penguins holding still laughs. |
| 104 | ** Even funnier, [[AluminumChristmasTrees there was once an actual bird species endemic to New Zealand that went extinct called]] [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughing_owl the Laughing Owl]]. |
| 105 | ** Pretty much all of "Endangerous Species"! We see the penguins accidentally clone a dodo instead. According to Kowalski later, it turns out a lack of natural predators caused Dode's species to evolve to be fearless daredevils in the most stupid way possible. What this means is that through the episode we see Dode, and his clone brothers later, performing dangerously stupid stunts. Highlights include: chainsaw jump rope, bowling into barrels on TNT, and one tying himself to a wrecking ball to high-five another. This being a family show, the most we get of his deaths are a loud squawk! [[GoryDiscretionShot and an offscreen poof of feathers.]] What makes it better is [[{{Squick}} everyone's reactions to his deaths.]] |
| 106 | --> '''Dode:''' I'm makin' like the moooonkies! [Tire swings into the wall and poof!] |
| 107 | --> '''Mason:''' You will hose that off yes? |
| 108 | ** And every time the penguins get more and more used to his antics. How do they finally get rid of Dode? Lure him back to the museum and fool him into a staring contest with a stuffed Dodo statue! |
| 109 | --> '''Private:''' You really think this will work? |
| 110 | --> '''Kowalski:''' [[TooDumbToLive he's a dodo.]] |
| 111 | * From "Love Hurts", after Shauna diagnoses them: |
| 112 | --> '''Kowalski:''' "Avian Insanity"? ''*pft*'' Where would she get that crackpot diagnosis? |
| 113 | --> ''[cut to Rico snarling and relentlessly gnawing his cage bars]'' |
| 114 | ** At the end of the episode, we have this exchange: |
| 115 | --> '''Skipper:''' Maybe it's just the medicine talking... are you naked...? ...Oh, we're all naked...! |
| 116 | --> '''Private:''' Um...no. |
| 117 | * After Skipper asks Kowalski to describe koalas: |
| 118 | --> '''Kowalski''': They eat nothing but leaves, the ladies carry their young in pouches, and they sleep all day. |
| 119 | --> '''Skipper''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh. A hippie. |
| 120 | * Private's enhanced CutenessProximity, and the effect it has on everyone, including Alice. |
| 121 | --> '''Alice''': Why am I smiling?? ''(collapses like everyone else)'' |
| 122 | * In "Cute-Astrophe", when Kowalski ''dances'' to try and get the people back to throw food again. And then the ''looks'' Skipper and Rico give him... You can't stop looking... |
| 123 | -->'''Man:''' Maybe the Polar Bear's got some new material... |
| 124 | -->'''Kowalski:''' The Polar Bear? ''*pft*'' Sure he's the biggest carnivore on land, but can he do ''this?!'' |
| 125 | -->''(Boogie music starts to play from nowhere, and Kowalski starts boogeying. Skipper looks exasperated, like he's seen it a dozen times before, while Rico looks mildly nauseated and horrified at the sight)'' |
| 126 | ** Kowalski is trying to be ''cool.'' Instead, he dances like your least cool uncle. On top of everything he moves to slap his own buttocks, but Skipper catches his flipper just in time. |
| 127 | * Skipper's reason for the people not caring about their adorable antics. |
| 128 | --> '''Skipper:''' I blame the Internet, with its cheap plethora of puppy videos. |
| 129 | * Oh, boy ''Danger Wears a Cape''. STOP BEING NAUGHTY. |
| 130 | ** As Skipper beats up Julien, Maurice holds up signs with comic book sound effects on them, saying them out loud in a completely deadpan voice. [[RuleOfThree Three hits later]] when Julien gives up and says he's retiring, Maurice holds up a sign of an old man and says "Retirement". |
| 131 | --> Bam. |
| 132 | --> Pow. |
| 133 | --> Krack-a-kowie. |
| 134 | ** Skipper's disdain for comic books and superheroes. [[spoiler: Only to end up as one in the end.]] |
| 135 | --->'''Skipper''': Way to undersell the irony, Private. |
| 136 | * "Respect the science!" |
| 137 | * [[StockScream MY CAR!]] |
| 138 | ** What about hearing it in Chinese in TheMovie? |
| 139 | ** Also, MY CART![[note]] All said by pretzel, snow cone and hot dog stand men in "I Know Why the Caged Bird Goes Insane". [[/note]] |
| 140 | ** '''Burt''': SOME GUY'S CAR! |
| 141 | * Basically everything Mort does in the Blowhole episode. First there's him riding in the wheel of the bike, then him on the subway, hanging there and growling at the terrified people, the line "I took the subway!", and finally the dancing on the control panel. |
| 142 | * The Creator/MontyPython-esque randomness of Kowalski's dialogue in "Brain Drain". |
| 143 | -->'''Skipper:''' "Kowalski! Concentrate real hard. How do we help you?" |
| 144 | -->'''Stupid!Kowalski:''' *concentrates* "Eggs ... are ... egg-shaped! That's funny!" |
| 145 | ** Another from "Brain Drain:" |
| 146 | --> '''Skipper:''' ''How'' did you even ''manage'' that?! |
| 147 | --> '''Stupid!Kowalski:''' ''[walks by with a plunger stuck to his face]'' Can't hear you! Toilet stick on face! |
| 148 | ** It only gets better when Skipper, wanting to keep him out of the way, puts him on "line duty"; i.e., following a circle drawn on the floor "and don't stop until you reach the end". |
| 149 | ** "Followthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowtheline....I'VE LOST THE LINE!!!" |
| 150 | * "I STING YOUR FACE!" |
| 151 | ** From the same episode, after the penguins have been stung once: |
| 152 | -->'''Skipper:''' They surprised us the first time, took away our greatest weapons: stealth and superior tactics! Well, that ain't gonna happen twice. |
| 153 | -->''[[GilliganCut Cut to the penguins being chased by the hornets again.]]'' |
| 154 | -->'''Skipper:''' It happened twice!! '''IT HAPPENED TWICE!!''' |
| 155 | * In "The Hoboken Surprise", [[spoiler:the gang are attacked by androids, which up till this point passed perfectly for real animals]]: |
| 156 | -->"[[spoiler:Frances.]] In. Danger." |
| 157 | -->"Must. Destroy. Animals." |
| 158 | -->[[RoboSpeak "Why. Did we. Start talking. Like robots?"]] |
| 159 | -->*shrug* |
| 160 | * Skipper gets amnesia [[spoiler: He proceeds to get spirit guides. First was Buck Rotgut. Second was an ancient philosopher... third was Alex the Lion. Shortly after Alex appears, he teaches Skipper how to escape a missile... by dancing. Things only got funnier from there.]] |
| 161 | * "In the Line of Doody". |
| 162 | -->"Stick. Your option is a stick." |
| 163 | -->"I pulled the wrong one, alright?!" |
| 164 | * Any of Skipper's over-the-top rants about ''Hoboken Zoo''. |
| 165 | -->'''Skipper''': I've rotted away in gulags, work camps, penal colonies in every dirty, flea-bitten corner of creation. But I promised myself that I would '''''[[SuddenlyShouting NEVER]]''''' [[SuddenlyShouting END UP IN HOBOKEN!]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting AT LEAST NOT ALIVE!!!]]'' '''[[EyeScream I]]''' '''''[[EyeScream WILL]]''''' '''[[EyeScream PECK OUT MY OWN EYEBALLS!!]]''' '''''[[LargeHam I SWEAR TO YOU!!!!]]''''' |
| 166 | * At the end of "Fit to Print," the penguins are convinced that their cover has been blown, and Skipper rigs their based to blow up and begins to assign new identities for when they need to flee New York. He tells Rico to pose as a professor of advanced linguistics at the University of Chicago. Cue 10 glorious seconds of Rico shouting, wailing, and making general random noises. |
| 167 | ** The kicker? When its revealed their cover hasn't blown, the penguins realize the bomb is still active. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck They just put on sunglasses and pretend nothing has happened]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice as their habitat explodes and people are screaming in horror]]. |
| 168 | * In "Byte-Sized", Kowalski is giving Skipper, Rico, and Private a demonstration on his new nano-bots and after they win Skipper over, Kowalski starts to gloat about being right, saying "At moments like these in the scientific community the technical jargon for this situation is... Told ya!" Just as he finishes his sentence, they hear Maurice shout [[RageBreakingPoint "I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!]] [[{{Angrish}} AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!]]". They head over to the lemur habitat to see what happened... [[MoodWhiplash and then they see King Julien lying down covered in what appears to be blood while Mort is sobbing hysterically and Maurice furiously yells "You've messed with me for the last time!".]] While [[NightmareFuel horrifying]] at first, what the penguins say and do following this is hysterical: |
| 169 | -->'''Skipper:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice So, it finally happened. Who had today as the day when Maurice snapped?]] |
| 170 | -->(Kowalski pulls out a calendar with a picture of Rico on it.) |
| 171 | -->'''Kowalski:''' (groaning) Rico. |
| 172 | -->(Skipper, Private, and Kowalski each angrily give Rico a fish) |
| 173 | -->'''Rico:''' Oh! Yeah! More fish baby! Wow! (mumbling) |
| 174 | --> (Julien gains consciousness and sits up. Mort stops sobbing. Rico shoves the fishes into his beak.) |
| 175 | -->'''Julian:''' [[MoodWhiplash Wait! The only crime here is my banana berry smoothie should be inside of my royal tummy. Not outside, sticking up my majestic mid-section.]] |
| 176 | -->(Skipper, Kowalski, and Private glare at Rico, who sheepishly spits the fishes out of his beak.) |
| 177 | * "Herring Impaired", where [[AxCrazy RICO]], of all people, is the [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Penguin]] of the group when the other penguins have succumbed to Bacterial Pisces Dementia. |
| 178 | ** At the beginning, Skipper is building a model ship inside a glass bottle. When he asks for the last piece for the hull, Rico reports that there is nothing of the sort... then Skipper, believing that [[AllForNothing all his hard work has gone to waste]] (though the model is ''supposed'' to have the hull breach, according to Phil and Mason), loses his temper. |
| 179 | ---> '''Skipper:''' Kowalski! [[CoverInnocentEyesAndEars Cover the private's ears]]! I intend to use my angry words.\ |
| 180 | [Kowalski and Rico plug Private's ears].\ |
| 181 | '''Skipper:''' [[{{Angrish}} YAAAGGH SAZZA BAZZITS, GIGJE GEJJEWAG]], BOUILLABAISSE!\ |
| 182 | '''Rico:''' Woooow!\ |
| 183 | '''Private:''' I still heard... |
| 184 | ** Another one where they're trying to get the titular herring. |
| 185 | --->'''Skipper:''' Kowalski, herring salvage options.\ |
| 186 | '''Kowalski:''' Touchy operation, Skipper. After a century of saltwater, that crate could fall apart with the slightest jarring. [[TemptingFate The key words here are slow, deliberate]]--\ |
| 187 | '''Rico''': [[ShutUpKirk WOOHOO!!]] [*rushes to the torpedo launcher*]\ |
| 188 | '''Kowalski''': [[OhCrap OH, BAD RICO!]] ''[[OhCrap BAD RICO!]]''\ |
| 189 | * Rico is fired towards the ship*\ |
| 190 | '''Skipper:''' Sweet chester nibbits! |
| 191 | ** When Private succumbs to the ''pisces dementia'', turning him into, as Kowalski puts it, "a fish-craving psychopath". |
| 192 | --->'''Rico:''' ''[interjecting]'' Hey! That's ''my'' thing!\ |
| 193 | '''Skipper:''' Yeah, we don't need ''two'' of those. |
| 194 | ** When Rico finally thinks he's gotten the gang away from any fish, he sighs in relief... only to discover they've ended up at a tuna canning factory. |
| 195 | --->'''Rico:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe ARE YOU]] ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe KIDDING]]'' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe ME?!]] |
| 196 | * Julien in "Operation: Antarctica" is a walking parody machine. Most notably... |
| 197 | --> [[VideoGame/StarFox64 DO A BARREL ROLL!]] |
| 198 | ** Also his acting of a [[ClassicalMovieVampire Handsome Vampire]]. Listen especially close after the "deploy handsome vampire!" part! |
| 199 | -->"I am a handsome vampire. [[spoiler: Bluh.]]" |
| 200 | ** Also from "Operation: Antarctica", the penguins come across leopard seals who are coming at them and Skipper orders Rico to fire all torpedos but instead of torpedos, a bunch of fruit comes out instead and then: |
| 201 | ---> '''Julien:''' No it okay because I also put the torpedos in the fruit place. |
| 202 | ---> (Cut to the zoo where a torpedo is in Mort's blender.) |
| 203 | ---> '''Mort:''' Hello banana, would you like to be a smoothie now? (Turns on the blender and the torpedo explodes.) WHY BANANA? |
| 204 | * The entirety of "I Was a Penguin Zombie." Notable examples: |
| 205 | ** When Private reports that Skipper has died: |
| 206 | ---> '''Kowalski:''' We'll honor him the way he would've wanted. By soldiering on like men. ''(GilliganCut to [[EverybodyCries Kowalski, Private, and Rico crying like babies]])'' |
| 207 | ** The trio of penguins flee from Skipper. At one point, they flee into a dark room. |
| 208 | ---> '''Kowalski:''' ''(while he, Rico, and Private hide from Skipper in a dark enclosure)'' Okay, based on what I know about zombies, [[TemptingFate the safest place to hide is in a small dark room with creepy light]]. ''(Skipper smacks himself against the window and Private, Kowalski and Rico scream)'' '''EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNED IS A LIE!''' ''(Kowalski, Private, and Rico run away, and Skipper slides down the window)'' |
| 209 | ** When the penguins finally develop the courage to face the "zombified" Skipper: |
| 210 | ---> ''(later when the penguins have cornered Skipper on a roof)''\ |
| 211 | '''Kowalski:''' No mercy this time, boys! Rico, see if you can shut off your conscience and sense of decency.\ |
| 212 | '''Rico:''' ''(spits up a running chainsaw and [[EvilLaugh laughs evilly]])''\ |
| 213 | '''Private:''' "Oh Rico, [[YourAnswerToEverything chainsaw's your answer to everything!]] |
| 214 | ** Rico urging Skipper to get closer, while menacingly slamming a crowbar into his flipper. |
| 215 | *** Skipper finally getting why they think he's a zombie after getting a look at his reflection in a window before turning around only to get a hilarious OhCrap expression once he sees Rico slamming the crowbar into his flipper. |
| 216 | ** The second-to-last part where Kowalski, Rico, and Private pretend to believe Skipper when he says he's not a zombie and then tackle him, knocking themselves off the roof as Kowalski tells Skipper, "Nice try, zombie!" But then [[OhCrap they all notice they're not on the roof]] [[GravityIsAHarshMistress and after getting a second to realize this, fall down.]] |
| 217 | * '''Maurice:''' "Gonna eat my banana. Hope no one '''TAKES IT!'''" |
| 218 | * In Brain Drain, I can only grin madly at this little exchange which just adds to how absolutely adorably naive Private is. It's the tiniest of moments, which only makes it all the better: |
| 219 | --> '''Private:''' Gosh Kowalski, I think your brain power's already tip-top! |
| 220 | --> '''Kowalski:''' You also think there's a little man in the fridge who turns the light on and off. |
| 221 | --> '''Private:''' And one day I'll catch him! |
| 222 | ** Add into that Kowalski's dry voice, and the slightly exasperated expression on Skipper's face, and you've got yourself a "Wait, what did he just say?" moment. |
| 223 | --> '''Kowalski:''' I like peanuts and I like butter, but I do not like peanut butter. ''(close up to camera)'' '''''WEIRD!''''' |
| 224 | * From The All-nighter before Christmas, Elephant rules. |
| 225 | * The storyboards are much funnier than the animation itself, such as Sunil Hall's drawings for "Time Out". |
| 226 | * An illustration by David Knott of the main four in Boyne, Michigan; Skipper declares, "All right, boys, this is too cold, even for us! Time to implement, Operation: Fly South!", while Private and Kowalski clutch each other tightly (Kowalski's expression is partly what makes this funny), and Rico is lighting a ''bomb'' for warmth! |
| 227 | * The scene in the penguins' quarters in "The Big Move" after the lemurs and all the small animals have left. Skipper is perfectly happy to be left in peace. I just love Skipper's stubbornness in that scene, the buildup to WeWantOurJerkBack, and Kowalski's expression when Skipper talks into his ear. |
| 228 | --->''Kowalski, Private and Rico are lying wide awake in their bunks.'' |
| 229 | --->'''Kowalski''': ... Something's not right. |
| 230 | --->'''Private''': It's the quiet, Kowalski. It's... |
| 231 | --->'''Rico''': [[ItsQuietTooQuiet ''Too'' quiet.]] |
| 232 | --->'''Skipper''': Nope. It's fine. Good night. |
| 233 | --->''(He turns over and goes back to sleep)'' |
| 234 | --->'''Kowalski'''''(Appears behind Skipper with a radar)'': But, Skipper, the ambient noises- |
| 235 | --->'''Skipper''': Ap-bup-bup-bup. Go to sleep. ''(Speaks into Kowalski's radar)'' ''That's an order.'' |
| 236 | --->''Kowalski lies back into his bunk and he, Private and Rico are still disturbed by the silence'' |
| 237 | --->''(beat)'' |
| 238 | --->'''Skipper''': You made the silence ''louder''. Happy? |
| 239 | * The awkward pause in 'Nighty Night Ninja' after Kowalski shouts a bizarre WakingNonSequitur. |
| 240 | ** Rico going [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud DUN DUN DUUUUN!!]] |
| 241 | *** [[LosingHorns Wah, wah, wah, waaaaahhhh]]... |
| 242 | * Private's harsh words towards [[spoiler: The Archer]] in ''Mask of The Raccoon'' leave Kowalski and even Rico completely dumbfounded: |
| 243 | --->'''Private:''' You're a dirty liar!!! A, and your pants are on fire!!! |
| 244 | --->'''Rico:''' ''*beat*''....Woah... |
| 245 | * The entirety of ''Invention Intervention''. |
| 246 | * The presentation of Kowalski's Six-Foot-Whacking-Stick in Untouchable. It shows up a few times... |
| 247 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COIxUtRTGvo Kowalski's seduction song.]] |
| 248 | ** Skipper's initial reaction: |
| 249 | -->'''Skipper:''' Somehow, I always knew he'd go out like this. Rico, put the man out of his misery! |
| 250 | * In "Private and the Winky Factory", Private is the temporary leader on the raid for the last ever [[TrademarkFavoriteFood Peanut Butter Winkies]]. Skipper asks him, [[WhatWouldXDo what would he do first]]... so Private gives ''himself'' a DopeSlap. |
| 251 | -->'''Skipper''': Ooh, good start. |
| 252 | ** Then he starts making random hand signals once they arrive at the factory. |
| 253 | -->'''Skipper''': Private, explain these random gesticulations. |
| 254 | -->'''Private''': Isn't that what you always do? |
| 255 | -->'''Skipper''': I make hand signals. They ''mean'' things. |
| 256 | -->'''Private''': Really? Then what did mine mean? |
| 257 | -->''[Skipper points to Kowalski and Rico dancing in hula outifits]'' |
| 258 | -->'''Kowalski''': What? Are we cancelling our hula girl decoys? |
| 259 | -->'''Rico''': ''(starts singing)'' Aloha Oe... |
| 260 | -->''[Kowalski tells him to stop]'' |
| 261 | -->'''Rico''': ''(disappointed, while taking off his wig)'' Awww man! |
| 262 | ** Rico going crazy and I mean '''''crazy''''' after eating [[GRatedDrug Marshmellow Meow-Meows]]. |
| 263 | *** "MEOW MEOW!" |
| 264 | ** Kowalski also has the [[TheChewToy worst luck possible]] in this episode. |
| 265 | ** This managed to get Rico to OUTRIGHT EAT KOWALSKI (as he looked like a marsh meow-meow) and regurgitates him out by the end. |
| 266 | -->'''Kowalski''': (disturbed) The things I have seen... |
| 267 | -->'''Rico''': Bad meow-meow! (faints) |
| 268 | * In "Snowmageddon", Kowalski suffering from cabin fever after being snowed in at Fred's gets into a large rant when Fred bugs him about how he was close to figuring out how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. After Fred shows him the way out, he drops this gem: |
| 269 | -->'''Fred''': Oh, and Kowalski? A woodchuck would chuck about 3 logs worth, given a standard diameter of 14 inches and the typical hardness of an oak. You know, if they could chuck wood. |
| 270 | -->'''Kowalski''': Oh... |
| 271 | * In "Can't Touch This", Skipper offers a delicious fish to his men - all they have to do to get it is cross a floor covered with mousetraps. Rico just... wanders over the mousetraps to take it. |
| 272 | -->'''Skipper:''' ''(regarding fish)'' This magnificent catch goes to the man who has the wits, the ingenuity, and cunning- |
| 273 | -->''(mousetraps snap repeatedly and Rico, now covered in mousetraps, just walks up to Skipper and takes the fish, licking it)'' |
| 274 | -->'''Skipper:''' Or Rico. It goes to Rico. |
| 275 | ** Next, Rico and Skipper leave the base, and Private looks at Kowalski hopefully. Kowalski picks up Private and tries to cross the floor. One trap snaps, Kowalski drops Private and falls over, and... well, pain ensues for the both of them. Up top, they're all covered in mousetraps. |
| 276 | * In "Rock-A-Bye-Birdie" Skipper gets turned into a chick, and his baby body keeps clashing with his leadership desire. He keeps acting like Skipper while his baby body is in full swing, making him tired, weak, burp, and fart. He even somehow ends up being nursed by Kowalski under his belly fat and nobody's quite sure how he got there. |
| 277 | --> '''Private:''' Maybe we should, y'know, get you a sitter? ...Skipper? |
| 278 | --> '''Skipper:''' ''(from underneath Kowalski's belly fat)'' Down here... |
| 279 | --> '''Kowalski:''' ''(With a happy smile)'' Oh! Apologies Skipper, it just... feels so right! |
| 280 | --> '''Skipper:''' It is oddly agreeable... |
| 281 | * So, so much of "Truth Ache". In particular... |
| 282 | ** Skipper's exaggerated shushing of Private. |
| 283 | ** Private, after eating the truth serum, admitting that Skipper's monkfish surprise tastes awful and that everyone just pretends to like it to spare Skipper's fragile ego. |
| 284 | ** The scene where Private reveals to the other zoo animals that the penguins have been spying on them and starts admitting everyone's secrets. |
| 285 | ** Private repeatedly spraying himself with "Amnesia Spray". |
| 286 | * From "All King, No Kingdom": |
| 287 | ** This exchange after Maurice and Mort accidentally break King Julien's throne: |
| 288 | -->'''Maurice:''' I'll get the glue.\ |
| 289 | '''Mort:''' [[PasteEater To eat?]]\ |
| 290 | '''Maurice:''' No! |
| 291 | ** When King Julien gets mad at Maurice and Mort for breaking his throne, [[ThisIsMySide he divides the lemur habitat into two halves]]; one for himself, and one for Maurice and Mort. Naturally, Julien's "half" occupies most of the habitat. |
| 292 | ** When Maurice and Mort throw a party on their side of the habitat and don't invite King Julien, King Julien makes some new friends [[CompanionCube in the form of stuffed animals]]. He describes Janice (a green bear) as wanting to be a dental technician, and Emile (a yellow bear) as someone who wants to crush Janice's dreams. |
| 293 | *** Kowalski explanation for this: |
| 294 | -->'''Kowalski''': Without friends, his delicate psyche snapped, [[TongueTwister like the snappiest snapperson, the snappiest kid from Snapperdonia. Since Snap Snapperson snapped photography specialist]], and- |
| 295 | -->'''Skipper''': Rico. |
| 296 | --> Rico gives Kowalski a DopeSlap. |
| 297 | * In a season one episode when they finally come across the box of fish they've been looking for. Rico squeaks "fish!" in happiness and then suddenly sings ''FIIIIISH~''!! with perfect clarity. This eventually becomes a RunningGag. |
| 298 | * '''King Julien''': Wait, I've got an idea! A sandwich...that you ride like a horse! |
| 299 | ** This has nothing to do with the scene at hand and is dismissed. But later when everyone is panicking, [[BrickJoke he's]] [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment suddenly riding a sandwich behaving like a horse just like he said.]] No one acknowledges this for the rest of the episode, not even Mort. |
| 300 | --> '''King Julien''': Whoaaa there, little tuna melt! |
| 301 | * The penguins assume a box sent to them might be dangerous, so they get the lemurs to open it. |
| 302 | --> '''Maurice''': And what are we supposed to do with some junky cardboard box?? |
| 303 | --> '''King Julien''': ''(has drawn eyes and a mouth over the flaps)'' His name is 'Carboris,' and he is the sacred protector from all who will annoy me. |
| 304 | --> '''Mort''': Ohh, how does he do that?? |
| 305 | --> '''King Julien''': ''(merely kicks the box over Mort)'' CHOMP!! |
| 306 | * In 'Gut Instinct' all the zoo animals are eager to see King Julien get spanked, but Rico is particularly ecstatic for it. |
| 307 | --> '''Rico''': ''(singing and dancing)'' Rump-Whomper~!! Yeah!! |
| 308 | * Kowalski squeeing about the science expo so high nearby car windows break. |
| 309 | -->'''Kowalski''': Can we go!? |
| 310 | -->'''Skipper''': ''(with all the frustration of a parent who does not want to go)'' UUUUUGGGHHH!! Where is this geek-stravaganza? |
| 311 | ** The "hot snoozles" they attempt to make in the same episode, a snack made by causing four food carts to smash into each other. |
| 312 | * In "Can't Touch This," Kowalski coats Randy's wool with a polymer so kids' hands won't bother him anymore. Skipper gives him a congratulatory smack, and the sheep suddenly starts bouncing around the room. |
| 313 | -->'''Skipper''': ...Kowalski? |
| 314 | -->'''Kowalski''': What, Skipper? |
| 315 | -->'''Skipper''': Bouncing... |
| 316 | -->'''Kowalski''': (in pure awe, as this result was unexpected) Yes, he ''is!'' |
| 317 | * The entirety of "High Moltage." RapidFireComedy at its best. |
| 318 | * In the episode when the team gets obsessed with comic books, Kowalski makes sure Skipper won't wake up by placing a "Mr. Snoozytime Fighty Night-Night Mobile" (a baby mobile with a hippie, Dr. Blowhole, and Hans) above him. Skipper rolls over, grabs and snuggles with the Hans... to punch it a good five seconds later. |
| 319 | * When the team is attempting to distract a scientist at the zoo. Something about how Skipper's line is delivered is hilarious: |
| 320 | ---> '''Private''': But all we know is the 'smile and wave routine! What else do penguins do? |
| 321 | ---> '''Skipper''': I haven't the ''faintest.'' |
| 322 | * In "All Choked Up", Alice gives Rico stomach medicine just after he swallows a ticking time bomb that he intends to use to destroy the zoo's Robo Zoo Guide. When the Penguins' attempts to get Rico to throw up don't succeed, they get Mort to go inside Rico and defuse the bomb. This exchange occurs when Mort is inside Rico: |
| 323 | -->'''Kowalski:''' Okay, do you see the time bomb?\ |
| 324 | '''Mort:''' Um, I see an old squeaky toy. Oh, I see it! I see the bomb!\ |
| 325 | '''Kowalski:''' Good! Now very carefully separate the blue and yellow wires from their sheathing, reverse their polarity, then splice both into the ground lead, which should be a slightly thicker copper filament. Am I going too fast for you?\ |
| 326 | '''Mort:''' Um, okay. Which of the colors is blue?\ |
| 327 | ''(The penguins sigh in exasperation)''\ |
| 328 | '''Mort:''' Is this a blue wire?\ |
| 329 | ''(Rico shrieks)''\ |
| 330 | '''Kowalski:''' No, I believe that's a kidney. |
| 331 | * The HereWeGoAgain ending of "Needle Point", especially since Kowalski is ''much'' less covert about his fear than Skipper was. |
| 332 | --> '''Kowalski:''' Point is, fear of medical professions is completely unwarranted. Yet, the benefits to one's health and well being is simply too-\ |
| 333 | '''Alice:''' Looks like you Penguins are due for a visit to the dentist!\ |
| 334 | '''Kowalski:''' (horrified) [[HypocriticalHumor THE DENTIST?!!]]\ |
| 335 | ''(Kowalski runs off and jumps into the water screaming)''\ |
| 336 | '''Private:''' [[DumbassHasAPoint ...but we don't have teeth...]] |
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