1 | * The end of the aptly-named installment "[[http://albruno3.blogspot.com/2010/06/rpgnet-rant-2-day-i-killed-entire-party.html The Day I Killed The Entire Party Before The First Combat Encounter]]". |
2 | ** There's also the party coming up with their characters. |
3 | ---> '''Psycho Dave:''' My character is a former Navy Seal. He has medals of honor and no one knows that in his spare time he kills hippies and midgets. |
4 | |
5 | ---> '''Deviant Boy:''' [[KissingCousins My character and her cousin are having an affair.]]\ |
6 | '''[=Ab3=]:''' Wh-what?\ |
7 | '''Weasly Crusher:''' We're in love.\ |
8 | |
9 | * [[InNameOnly Psycho Dave's version of]] [[Franchise/StarWars Yoda]] from "[[http://albruno3.blogspot.com/2010/06/rpgnet-rant-13-trapped-in-jedi-academy.html Trapped in Jedi Academy]]", who's [[Film/FullMetalJacket Gunnery Sergeant Hartman]] [[RecycledInSpace IN SPACE!]] and with a penchant for live fire exercises and attacking his students. |
10 | --> '''[=Ab3=]:''' Are you sure Yoda would act like this?\ |
11 | '''Psycho Dave:''' Master Yoda force chokes your character until he passes out. |
12 | |
13 | --> '''Deviant Boy:''' You know, I'm pretty sure hanging us by our thumbs should get Maser Yoda a few Dark Side point.\ |
14 | '''Psycho Dave:''' SHUT YOUR FILTHY SPACE HOLE! |
15 | ** From the same chapter, Blobert plays his character with a Southern accent, which he does by saying "y'all" [[VerbalTic at the end of every sentence]]. |
16 | ** When everyone tries to leave, Psycho Dave [[DisproportionateRetribution gets a sawed-off shotgun from his bedroom]] and unsubtly threatens everyone into continuing to play. |
17 | * "[[http://albruno3.blogspot.com/2010/06/rpgnet-rant-3-night-at-inn-day-at.html A Night at the Inn, A Day at the Racists]]" revolves around [[KillerGameMaster Psycho Dave]] running a game of ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' where the players have to wait at an inn for their boss. As expected, chaos ensues. |
18 | ** Apparently, before going to the inn [[NoodleIncident they had to fight a Giant Shrunken Applehead Woman.]] |
19 | ** El Disgusto insists on having his character ride underneath the party's wagon. Which he has been doing for every session until this point, and none of the party know he's there. |
20 | ** Psycho Dave's general strategy is [[EstablishingCharacterMoment introduced]] when he forces [=Ab3=] to roll for stopping the wagon. |
21 | ---> '''[=Ab3=]:''' I stop the wagon in front of the inn.\ |
22 | '''Psycho Dave:''' Roll for it.\ |
23 | '''[=Ab3=]:''' This is getting a little out of hand now.\ |
24 | '''Psycho Dave:''' Roll for it.\ |
25 | '''[=Ab3=]:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe I have to roll to stop the damn wagon?]]\ |
26 | '''Psycho Dave:''' [[RulesLawyer You're the one that said you were all of a sudden stopping the wagon. Ever heard of slowing down before you stop?]]\ |
27 | '''[=Ab3=]:''' [[OnlySaneMan I didn't think I had to be that specific. Okay, I-]]\ |
28 | '''Psycho Dave:''' It's too late. You said it. Roll to see if you can stop the wagon without crashing, or do you want to bitch and whine some more?\ |
29 | '''[=Ab3=]:''' ''(rolls)'' [[OhCrap Crap.]]\ |
30 | '''Psycho Dave:''' Ok, the cart flips over. Everybody make a save versus death. Yes, you too, Larry.\ |
31 | ''As you can see, I soon realized that Psycho Dave ran a game in roughly the same way that Creator/WarwickDavis in the film'' Film/{{Leprechaun}} ''[[JackassGenie granted wishes]]. Everything you said your character did was scrutinized for some way to screw you over and the dice ruled all. He was the only guy I know who used a random monster encounter chart for TabletopGame/CallOfCthulhu. You haven't lived until you've had a character [[GoMadFromTheRevelation go mad]] because he saw a [[EldritchAbomination nightgaunt]] sitting in a restroom stall reading a copy of the [[TomeOfEldritchLore Necronomicon]].'' |
32 | ** After the party arrives at the inn, Psycho Dave forces [=Ab3=] to roll to see if his character gets drunk, in spite of him playing a dwarf, who can't get drunk on human alcohol. [[ButtMonkey He fails the roll,]] and since being drunk means that the other players decide what you do for the next few turns, [=Ab3=]'s character strips naked and starts singing while clinging to the chandelier. |
33 | ** Weasly Crusher and Cheating Bastard start harassing a random kid at the bar for no reason, and Weasly pulls out his sword and tries to kill him. Thanks to Psycho Dave's warped stats, [[EpicFail he somehow manages to]] ''[[EpicFail cut off his own head]]'', while Cheating Bastard gets beaten up by a Viking for whatever reason. |
34 | ** El Disgusto chooses to have his character break into the party's rooms and start snooping around and looting their stuff. |
35 | ---> '''[=Ab3=]:''' Why can't you just meet up with the damn party and not do all this weird stuff?\ |
36 | '''El Disgusto:''' He's a ninja! I'm ROLE-PLAYING! |
37 | *** Unfortunately for Disgusto, he gets caught by Cheating Bastard. Since Cheating Bastard's, well, cheating means his character is a 12th level "Wizard-Cleric-Fighter-Thief-Illusionist-Druid-Ranger-Bard with limited Psionic abilities", Disgusto's character is quickly captured. Cheating Bastard then chooses to "teach him a lesson" by poking his butt with a hot fire poker, and in retribution, El Disgusto's character promptly summons [[SpeakOfTheDevil Hastur]]. |
38 | ----> ''[[ARareSentence I for one never thought I would be glad to see the arrival of a member of the Cthulhu Mythos. Hastur showed up and stomped on the Inn killing everyone.]]'' |
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