Line #156 Funny/WolfensteinIITheNewColossus


1	!! Moment pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff, so all entries were folderized as a security measure. Proceed with caution. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.
2	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wolf_2_pig.PNG]]
3	[[caption-width-right:350: The Third Reich's most feared enemy, drunk and riding a pig.]]
4	----
5	[[foldercontrol]]
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7	[[folder:Advertisements (In-Universe)]]
8	* The commercial at the beginning of the E3 2017 trailer has a girl walking home with groceries come across a policeman trying to help his partner escape from their overturned truck. The girl blows a whistle and her pet Panzerhund (a giant, car sized robotic dog) comes over the hill to help. The giant robot turns the car back over, but then disobeys the girl and continues playing with the truck, overturning and torching it with its mouth flamethrower. At the end of the commercial, the robot sits next to the girl, and the title card "Liesel" comes on the screen. The whole commercial is intended to evoke classic TV shows like "Lassie", if Lassie was replaced with a car-sized attack robot with huge metal teeth and a flamethrower in its mouth.
9	** The subsequent channel surfing reveals that this isn't the only Nazi-inspired media of the time, with spoofs of GI Joe, old superhero cartoons, and gameshows such as "German... Or Else!"
10	** Blitzman's RoguesGallery of American icons: a giant walking Statue of Liberty, a well-muscled Uncle Sam driving a tank, the 'Illegal Eagle', and a guy wearing the Liberty Bell on his head.
11	[[/folder]]
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13	[[folder:The Game]]
14	* Fergus has a [[ArtificialLimbs new arm]], and it's giving him some trouble. An attempt to eat a cookie ends with the thing smashing it repeatedly against his face.
15	** The first time you meet up with him after returning the the U-Boat, he ends up having to wrestle the arm to the ground after it goes berserk when he tries to carry a container of nitroglycerin, and talks to it as if it was an unruly dog.
16	** When Grace enters the Eva's Hammer for the first time, she gets abrasive with Fergus. The man tries to be polite. His arm...[[FlippingTheBird is decidedly not.]]
17	** One night, after getting some romantic advice from Paris Jack, Fergus approaches a pretty girl he likes, planning to tell her "I've been meaning to do this ever since I saw you..." and hand her a rose. So naturally, as soon as he tells her "I've been meaning to do this ever since I saw you..." his arm malfunctions and swings up to land [[AccidentalPervert directly on her tits.]] The woman then slaps him in the face and tells him to bug off. Upset at losing his one chance of going out with a woman he likes and on the verge of tears, Fergus rips the arm off and beats it on the ground.
18	* When Fergus is getting his arm attached, Max Hass repeatedly pushes the former's head down every time Fergus lifts it up. Fergus has to tell Max to "stop helping".
19	* Wyatt [[MushroomSamba drops acid in the middle of a mission]], [[DisneyAcidSequence causing him to hallucinate a cartoon lizard who he quietly begins a conversation with]]. [[ArtShift A lizard drawn in a Disney, 2D cartoon style]].
20	** While this is going on, Anya's in the background, massively pregnant, stabbing the fuck out of a Nazi and not paying him the slightest bit of attention whatsoever.
21	* When the Nazis are storming the rebel U-boat at the beginning, Set hides himself and B.J. behind a microwave device that turns anyone who runs through it into LudicrousGibs. At one point, while they're discussing something, a Nazi soldier can be seen having clearly noticed what's left of his various comrades who have charged through it unthinkingly, only to tentatively try stepping carefully through it as if he's decided that if he just steps through it the ''right'' way, he'll come through perfectly unscathed. Two guesses for what happens to him.
22	** Just the sheer fact that [[SeenItAll Set and B.J.]] are having a relatively calm and serious conversation while completely ignoring [[FunnyBackgroundEvent the Nazi soldiers in the corridor next to them who keep exploding like overcooked burritos]], which they [[TooDumbToLive keep repeatedly doing]].
23	* A couple of veterans in a different group of Nazis in the midst of storming the U-boat can be heard discussing B.J. with a new soldier, who doesn't believe the rumors because he still buys the regimes' propaganda. His increasingly desperate excuses not to believe the stories about B.J. end with him declaring the eye witness both veterans cite has a wimpy name, so all his stories are just inherent cowardice. Say what you will about the nickname they chose but the myth of Terror Billy is extremely helpful as all the enemies are either [[SuicidalOverconfidence suicidally overconfident]] from dismissing the stories or rightfully completely terrified of B.J.
24	* As B.J. storms his way out of enemy clutches, there's [[UnderestimatingBadassery this exchange]] with the first commandant seen:
25	-->'''Frau Engel:''' ''(Over the radio)'' <Send in the troops!>\
26	'''Commandant Mannheimer:''' <Ah, General Engel! Please confirm the number of enemy platoons on board the Ausmerzer. What is their current status and weaponry?>\
27	'''Engel:''' <It's one man.>\
28	'''Commandant:''' <...Excuse me, General?>\
29	'''Engel:''' <Are you deaf, Commandant Mannheimer?! It is one man! Terror-Billy, the idiot American!>\
30	'''Commandant:''' <But... I thought we had him in custody, General?>\
31	'''Engel:''' <He got away.>\
32	'''Commandant:''' <Oh... I see, General.> ''(Long beat)'' <...How?>\
33	'''Engel:''' <WHAT DOES IT MATTER? He is a trained killer! I guarantee he has obtained firearms by now. Possibly grenades too, how should I know?>\
34	'''Commandant:''' <Affirmative, General. And how many men does Terror-Billy lead in his raid?>\
35	'''Engel:''' <God in Heaven, are you stupid, man?! He's not leading anybody! ''[[OneManArmy He's by himself]]''!>\
36	'''Commandant:''' <[[JustOneMan But one single man]], General... surely our security...>\
37	'''Engel:''' <You ARE the security, you fucking imbecile!>\
38	'''Commandant:''' <Then we must send in our troops.>\ <>\
39	'''Engel:''' <That is what I've been saying! Call in everything you have! Shoot anything that moves! Kill, crush, destroy!>\
40	'''Commandant:''' <Yes, General. My Super soldiers are powering up as we speak. Do I have your permission to call in the elite reserve as well?>\
41	'''Engel:''' <Send in everything you have! Terror-Billy is very dangerous. He singlehandedly took down the London Monitor. He is insane and unpredicable.>\
42	'''Commandant:''' <Yes, General.>\
43	'''Engel:''' <General Engel, out.>\
44	''(B.J. cuts Mannheimer's legs off and slits his throat)''\
45	'''Engel:''' <Commandant? Hello? Commandant Mannheimer? Do you read?! ...Shit!>
46	* After Set gives B.J. the Dieselkraftwerk:
47	--> '''B.J.:''' (pointing to the gun) Does this end kill Nazis?\
48	'''Set:''' Oh... Enthusiastically so.
49	* After testing out the shooting range, Sigrun tries to talk about Die Käfer to Set, [[TheNewRockAndRoll who isn't exactly receptive]], and how it provides comfort to her when times are tough, such as her arranged marriage; when Set points out that since she escaped her mother, she can follow her heart however she wants, Sigrun breaks into "Mond, Mond, Ja, Ja" in sheer happiness -- only to stop when she finds Set staring at her. After he shushes her to be quiet, he starts [[GotMeDoingIt faintly humming it himself]].
50	* The first part of the New York mission ends with B.J. riding a subway train he activated... only to turn out the controls are broken and he can't stop it from crashing.
51	--> '''B.J.:''' [[OhCrap Oh Cock. Oh Cock.]]
52	** Made even funnier when the subway car plows into the platform and up the staircase to the surface launching B.J. in the air. The next mission begins with him about to hit the ground.
53	* When the New York Resistance is brought aboard the rebel U-Boat, Super Spesh breaks down in TearsOfJoy when he finds out that the U-boat has a ''working toilet and "ass-wipe"''.
54	** About an in-game hour later he comes out, interrupting a serious and dramatic argument between Anya and B.J., stretches in satisfaction, and proudly proclaims, "The toilet works!"
55	** Even better, he references ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}'' of all things while exclaiming his joy for the working toilet.
56	-->'''Spesh:''' Is this a toilet which I see before me, handled towards my hand!?
57	** If you get close to the door for whatever reason, [[ToiletHumor you can hear Spesh... using the facilities.]] Being trapped in a post atomic hellscape with no working toilets took its toll on him.
58	* Set is playing chess with Max, making some condescending remarks throughout the game. [[IdiotSavant Max beats him.]] Set refuses to believe it at first, then [[RapidFireNo just keeps shouting "No!"]] and insulting Max. [[RageQuit He then messes up the board and stomps away angrily, muttering to himself.]] Max shrugs his shoulders, pulls out a paper, and starts coloring.
59	* During the same portion, the Kill House obstacle course opens up in the shooting range. The achievement for getting the best time is "[[SecondPlaceIsForLosers First Loser]]", as the first-place time is an astounding ''23 seconds''. What puts it here is that it was set by Shoshana, Set's pet squirrel-monkey/cat!
60	* While disguised as a firefighter in Roswell, B.J. encounters a Nazi officer at Papa Joe's All-American Diner -- which is covered with Wanted posters and whose TV above the bar keeps flashing B.J.'s face. The officer, who doesn't seem to notice ''any'' of it, only comments that he thinks he's seen his "very Aryan face" before, asking him which fire station he works at. When he finally gets up to leave, [[LateToThePunchline he spots the poster right in his line of sight]]. Cue an OhCrap reaction from the Nazi, and him desperately pulling out his pistol -- this time, however, he doesn't see that Speshie has drawn a gun from behind the counter, and gets his head blown apart. [[FailedASpotCheck Some guys just aren't very observant]].
61	** You ''could'' produce your identification papers for said officer when asked... or, by pressing the melee button instead of the action button, you could just brain him with the fire extinguisher instead.
62	** Immediately after this, Super Spesh demands a password from B.J.. When B.J. tells him that Grace never gave him a password, [[ConspiracyTheorist Spesh accuses B.J., at gunpoint, of being a reptilian.]] When B.J. threatens to beat him senseless with his own gun, Spesh laughs and says he was just fucking with him.
63	--->'''Super Spesh:''' Show me your lizard face, motherfucker!
64	** When B.J. is walking around Roswell in disguise, he comes across two members of the Ku Klux Klan, Jeb and Wayne, who are accosted by a Nazi soldier. He passive-aggressively chats with them for a while, until [[GrammarNazi he blows his cool when they can't get even the simplest German phrase right]].
65	--->'''Soldier:''' Have you taken your German lessons?\
66	'''Wayne:''' Oh, yessir. Mm-hmm.\
67	'''Soldier:''' Good. ''(points to Jeb)'' You -- how do you say "thank you" in German?\
68	'''Jeb:''' Oh. O' course, sir. Lessee, it's, um...\
69	'''Soldier:''' Yes?\
70	'''Jeb:''' Dank... dank...\
71	'''Soldier:''' ''Yes?!'' Out with it.\
72	'''Jeb:''' Dank... dankey!\
73	'''Soldier:''' ''(laughing)'' Mein Gott...\
74	'''Jeb:''' ''(hopefully)'' Was that alright?\
75	'''Soldier:''' No, that was terrible! You're butchering my beautiful language! It's "Danke Schön", ''verdamnt'' -- say it!\
76	'''Jeb:''' Uh, Danke Shoon?\
77	'''Soldier:''' Incorrect! ''Danke Schön!''\
78	'''Jeb:''' ...Donkey... ''Shaun''?
79	*** Later on collectable diary entries from at least one officer reveal that the Nazis are just using the Klansmen as volunteer cannon fodder. In fact the various Diaries reveal more than one Nazi officer is just itching for Changeover Day to come already so they have an excuse to kill the Klan off once and for all. Why? Because even the Nazis, the literal Nazis, find their blind idiot racism and outright ignorance about dang near everything extremely obnoxious.
80	** Down the street he sees an American woman shamelessly flirting with a German officer who returns her affections and praises her zeal for agreeing with Nazi ideals, until she makes a misguided remark about 'impure Austrians'. [[InsultFriendlyFire The officer turns on a dime]], informing her that not only is the Führer himself an Austrian by birth, so was the officer's own ''grandmother''; as she desperately tries to backtrack, he angrily tells her that she will be reported to his superiors, monitored, and severely punished if she steps out of line again.
81	** The Roswell Cinema Schedule is worth a [[CringeComedy horrible, cringey chuckle]]. Some of the movies listed look horrible and preachy, but others (Especially "Joe and the Robot Dog") just look ''weird'':
82	-->'''Joe And The Robot Dog''' : "''An American patriot and his robot dog stand up against his communist boss who wants to create a multiracial workforce.''"
83	** Super Spesh [[https://youtu.be/KiKEve9GMbE has a long rant about the secret Area 52 base]] and the secret alien technology there. B.J. makes one attempt to tell him it's not aliens. It's an ancient Jewish techno-conspiracy. He's wearing one of their super-suits. He doesn't get past "not aliens" before giving up.
84	--->'''Spesh''': Now, okay, [[MemeticMutation I'm not sayin' it's space aliens]], alright? But it goes without sayin' it's ''[[Series/AncientAliens fuckin' Space Aliens]]''!
85	*** After Spesh's rant, B.J. calmly places the fire extinguisher in front of him.
86	--->'''B.J.:''' So, I got a nuke in this here fire extinguisher.\
87	'''Super Spesh:''' [[OhCrap Okay]]. Cool it. [[ShuttingUpNow I did not mean to rile you]].
88	* When sneaking towards the Oberkommando, two soldiers can be heard tut-tutting about the Resistance, saying that [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything violence never solved anything, and if everyone went around attacking anyone they didn't agree with, America would turn into a "war zone"]]. After a pause, [[HypocriticalHumor they begin excitedly discussing the upcoming eradication of New Orleans, hoping they get paired up in the same death squad together]].
89	* Stealthy players may want to put the rocket train level to stop instead of [[RammingAlwaysWorks supermax]]. They will still hear B.J. say "Stick this in your pipe and smoke it."... as the train comes to a [[BoringButPractical slow, controlled stop.]]
90	* Spesh shows up again as [[BrickJoke B.J.'s lawyer after B.J. gets captured]], offering up a foolproof escape plan - make it look like B.J. attacked him and then kill the responding guard. To sell the bit, Spesh breaks his own nose by headbutting the steel table... [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome then quietly whimpers in pain as he realizes just how bad it hurts]].
91	* The Nazis have since given a nickname to the menace that is B.J. Blazkowicz, the maniacal terrorist [[OneManArmy who has singlehandedly proven to be the deadliest menace their regime has ever faced]]: "Terror-Billy".
92	* B.J. together with Grace, Ana and Fergus discover Bombate and Sigrun in amorous congress inside a small submarine they were going to use:
93	-->'''Bombate:''' I'm sorry, did you need this boat?\
94	'''Grace:''' Yes, motherfucker.
95	* The diary of Soldat Mueller, hiding out in Section F of the U-boat, starts with him ranting about how he will avenge the death of his friend Johann by killing B.J., and the Aryans are the strongest and bravest on Earth; it quickly changes tone when he reveals he's been pissing in a bucket rather than dare to use the level's flush toilet for fear he'll attract too much attention and, just maybe, B.J. will come back.
96	* Soon after B.J.'s comrades successfully enact the plan to salvage B.J.'s decapitated head, we see two Nazi soldiers finding the body of a comrade, previously killed by the group to access the room where the plan has taken place. While they comment that he's indeed dead, they don't notice an entire group of people coming out behind them. Cue Max giving one a [[Film/ThePrincessBride Fezzik-esque]] tap on the head without even breaking stride. then the rest of the group shooting them, just as casually. Even funnier is that the soldier Max kronks over the head does not react to being shot, implying that Max ''one-shot him with the fist to the head''.
97	* Also a TearJerker, but Grace asks B.J. what Super Spesh's LastWords were. When she finds them out, she can't help but [[ActuallyPrettyFunny share a laugh]]
98	* During the mission in New Orleans, Anya rings up B.J. to report, and then admits that the pregnancy is making her a little... [[AllWomenAreLustful excited]]. Then Fergus/Wyatt clears his throat, [[IsThisThingStillOn and she asks if everyone else was on the same frequency.]]
99	-->'''Grace:''' (annoyed) Yes.\
100	'''Bombate:''' (equally annoyed) Yes.\
101	'''Max:''' [[PokemonSpeak Max Hass.]]
102	** Another funny moment from New Orleans - after breaking through the Wall, and murdering every Nazi in it, you later find an e-Post that ends with the words "SHIT I THINK HE", implying that someone was KilledMidSentence.
103	* When meeting Horton, B.J. has a brief exchange explaining how he survived his decapitation:
104	--> '''Horton:''' Ain't you supposed to be dead?
105	--> '''B.J.:''' I recovered.
106	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jvo6UawNHw The casting scene]]. The Nazis are auditioning four actors to portray B.J in their propaganda movie. The problem? B.J himself is there, masquerading as one of the actors. And Hitler's there, too, of all the things on Venus! HilarityEnsues.
107	** Before the sequence even starts, B.J. can look around the room, which includes a cue card letting you know [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory just what kind of portrayal]] [[HeroWithBadPublicity B.J. is going to have]].
108	--->'''Cue Card''': Your bravery is no match for a neanderthal like myself. Besides, I only know how to fight in a dirty manner. [[WouldHarmAChild Now to kill the innocent children]]. Germany's future. (''[[EvilLaugh Diabolical laugh]]'')
109	** If you missed that, you certainly won't miss the script with all the subtlety of a neon freight train that you have to look through to proceed which paints B.J. as being so completely evil it's ''absurd.'' With writing like that, one has to wonder if this movie would be getting made at all if Hitler weren't the director.
110	--->'''Script Eva:''' (dramatically, weeping) A cold-blooded terrorist. That is what you are.
111	--->'''Script Blaskowicz:''' [[LameComeback And you're a Nazi Whore!]]
112	--->'''Script Eva:''' You monster! What are you going to do to me?
113	--->'''Script Blaskowicz:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice I will rape and murder you!]]
114	--->'''Script Eva:''' So many German innocent lives you have killed. But the German Race will rise again.
115	--->'''Script Blaskowicz:''' I will murder your dirty race too!
116	*** Beyond that, one of the slides that Hitler shows off is of a photoshopped B.J. riding a bicycle while dressed as a child, to showcase his ''obvious'' mental deficiency.
117	** In the span of about 4 minutes and 30 seconds, Hitler demonstrated his unbelievable senility by nearly forgetting about the casting, waving a loaded gun around in the actor's faces, emptying an entire magazine into one of the actors for calling him "Mr. Hitler", leading Hitler to believe that he's a Jewish spy (and for coming from Arizona), taking a piss in an ice bucket in full view of the actors, missing said bucket several times (and revealing he's urinating blood!) as he rambles on about Jewish and communist infiltrators and giving a completely serious lecture about his book, keeping on delivering that lecture while having difficulties finishing his piss, puking on the floor in the middle of a grand speech about his movie,[[note]]Helene will later step in his puke[[/note]] leaning on Helene's breasts and thinking that she's his mother in full view of the actors, asking a disguised B.J. ''to act as himself'', then chastising him for not being able ''[[YourCostumeNeedsWork to grasp the mind of B.J. Blazkowicz]]'', falling asleep in the middle of his ranting lecture about B.J. on the middle of the floor, and snapping out of his rest to literally shoot an actor [[ShotInTheAss in the ass]] when he is unhappy with his performance. When B.J. is finally fed up with all this and brutally kills a Nazi soldier, ''Hitler believes all of that is B.J. acting'' and giddily chooses B.J. Blazkowicz as the perfect actor to play B.J. Blazkowicz, not before nonchalantly shooting an actor who's performance he congratulated earlier. '''Hitler simply does not give a fuck about anything'''.
118	** It should be noted that Frau Helene isn't a character made up for the game. She's modeled after [[Film/TriumphOfTheWill Leni Riefenstahl]], a RealLife filmmaker who made Nazi propaganda films - it's darkly humorous seeing her relegated to little more than Hitler's carer who directs cheesy {{B Movie}}s written by the mad Führer.
119	*** Hitler shoots an actor in the head for the heinous sin of being from Arizona. Then he shoots him eight more times. Then he turns back to Helene, who gives him a bright smile as she calmly [[CrossesTheLineTwice strikes his name off the list.]]
120	*** Said actor is UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan.
121	*** The very idea of Hitler killing Reagan in general.
122	** Not only is B.J. [[BadBadActing an absolutely terrible actor]], the lines written on his hand are hopelessly smudged, leading to options like "I will muffin your ripe peach, too".
123	*** It's funny on its own that B.J. is certain he's not going to be able to remember just three lines no more than seven words long. Granted, Hitler pretty much walks in the moment he starts writing the lines on his hand anyway and most people are going to have trouble remembering exactly of something they've only read once, but B.J. didn't know Hitler was going to walk in right then and pretty much gives up on being able to remember the lines the moment he read them.
124	** The actor that follows B.J. gives a much more convincing performance, and Helene seems a bit...''too'' into the idea of being [[TooKinkyToTorture raped by a man roleplaying as William Joseph Blazkowicz]].
125	** Hitler raves during his speech about Blazkowicz's psychology that his mental level is still that of a child. Cue an airbrushed slide of B.J. riding a tricycle with an absurd grin on his face.
126	*** After working himself up ranting about B.J. Blazkowicz, an exhausted Hitler has to curl up on the floor. When B.J. is called up to his "audition", he has a chance to literally KickThemWhileTheyAreDown - [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing and doing so gets you an achievement]]![[note]]"[[{{Pun}} Kick It!]]"[[/note]] Granted, it also nets you a NonStandardGameOver as the guards gun you down, but most people would say it was WorthIt.
127	** After Hitler's rant about B.J.'s degeneracy, the actors are told they must improvise a fight scene against a Nazi soldier - a real one, armed with a real, loaded rifle. The first actor called forward makes a big show of stretching and warming up... then proceeds to throw a couple weak, halfhearted punches that come nowhere close to connecting. The soldier responds by giving him a few [[PistolWhipping quick whacks to the face with his rifle]]; while they are enough to break the actor's nose, they seem to be more a nonverbal "Come on, hit me!" than any serious attempt to cause harm. When the actor stops the scene and demands medical attention, the soldier proceeds to lie down on the floor in what can only be termed the world's most lackadaisical death scene. A disgusted Hitler then shoots the actor in the back ([[ShotInTheAss and ass]]) as he walks off set, prompting a plaintive, "Why!?" from the dying thespian.
128	** B.J.'s act for the fight scene isn't even remotely an act. He forces the guards gun under his chin, makes him blow his own brains out, takes the rifle, uses it to fill the corpse full of lead, brutally beats the corpses face in with it, throws the rifle against the glass, ignores the cue card, and glares at everyone in the room before letting his contempt and malice for the Nazis out. The best part of it all is that Hitler's reaction is looking and sounding like he's having the most transcendent experience of his life.
129	** Hitler's response is to [[AllPartOfTheShow compliment B.J. on his performance.]] He first declares that B.J. was born to play the part [[AsHimself of B.J.]], and proceeds to proclaim that B.J. will be his Blazcowicz.
130	** After Hitler decides that B.J. is the man for the job, he shoots the one remaining other actor. Having seen two actors get shot at this point, the third doesn't seem at all surprised or upset, and just resignedly slumps to the floor.
131	** And for added BlackComedy, not long afterwards you can find a couple Nazis in a hall talking about the movie and one of the famous actors that had been called up there in the present tense. What's just down the hall from them in a bloody box? [[FailedASpotCheck The bodies of said actor and the other two poor bastards murdered and dumped callously by Hitler.]]
132	** Also, this whole scene takes place on a ''Nazi Cloud City'' hovering over ''Venus''.
133	* While it does set up one of the sadder moments of the game, [[BreatherEpisode the party]] is still pretty funny.
134	** Everyone yelling "Hear! Hear!" to '''everything'''. Including:
135	*** Max Hass falling off the table he and Anya were dancing on.
136	*** Shoshana knocking over a crate of beer.
137	*** B.J. [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext lasting 10 feet on a pig]] before falling off (it takes a {{Beat}}).
138	*** Grace [[ClusterFBomb loudly announcing]] the stench of the bathroom.
139	*** Bombate and The Professor making out.
140	*** Max no-selling B.J.'s punch, and then knocking him out with one punch in a joke fight. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome when you remember that this is '''post-transplant''' B.J.
141	** Set Roth vomiting in the jar used for B.J.'s severed head, then passing out.
142	-->'''B.J. and Horton:''' [[RunningGag Hear! Hear!]]\
143	'''Set Roth:''' Oy Vey... ''eyes roll back, slumps to the ground''\
144	''Horton flips the lid closed''
145	** The Slapfest. [[GreenEyedMonster Sigrun]] slaps The Professor for the aforementioned makeout session, Maria slaps Fergus, [[HeadDesk Wyatt hits his own head against the wall]], The Professor gives Bombate [[WhatTheHellHero a well-deserved slap]], Shoshana slaps Horton, and Set Roth slaps an [[CallBack "Out Of Order" sign on the toilet]].
146	** Fergus drunk-flying one of their helicopters - something that's doubly funny if you've read his unlockable bio, which reveals that he became an airman following an alcohol-induced bet.
147	** Wyatt continuing to trip balls, feeling that time is going more slowly and hearing voices, to which he says "Hear! Hear!"
148	** Set Roth got so drunk that in the scene with B.J. and Max punching each other, he's holding his bottle upside down (with no cap). It's a FunnyBackgroundEvent and he doesn't seem to realize it until he tries to take a drink and realizes the bottle has gone empty, ''while it's still upside down''.
149	** [[GargleBlaster Horton's Hangover Blaster]], which includes ketchup, orange juice, half a tin of anchovies, two raw eggs, chili pepper (two teaspoons), cough syrup and whiskey. Chicken stock optional. Given Fergus's reaction after Anya poured something down his throat after the end of the "quest", she actually made it and ''made him drink it''.
150	* The German version of the game, as expected, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTQ1eBiRRRo censors]] Hitler. How did they do that? [[PaperThinDisguise By simply removing his mustache, having the others call him "Mein Kanzler"]][[note]][[EvilChancellor My Chancellor]] -- [[GeniusBonus and his official title WAS Chancellor of Germany]][[/note]] [[PaperThinDisguise instead of "Mein Führer"]][[note]]"[[JustTheFirstCitizen My Leader]]"[[/note]], [[PaperThinDisguise having Hitler's ranting about Jews and communists changed to ranting about traitors, and changing his name from Adolf Hitler...]] ''to "[[LouisCypher Mr. Heiler]]"'', [[PaperThinDisguise and leaving everything else completely intact]]. The people who did the censoring must have thought that this depiction of Hitler is so outlandish that people probably wouldn't recognize him without the name and the 'stache.
151	* In one of the Ubercommander missions, you can hear two Nazis rifling through items left behind by the resistance, including a sheet of paper with words written on it: "Fuck you, Nazi pigs." The catch? Neither of them understands English. One recognizes "Nazi" and remembers that "fuck" means "intercourse", so they assume that ''Nazis are so handsome the rebels want to have sex with them''.
152	** It gets even funnier when one of the two gets an OhCrap moment thinking the terrorists are planning to "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint corrupt their bloodlines]]."
153	* A short, easily-missed moment near the ending: Frau Engel appears on a talkshow where she lies through her teeth about Blazkowicz. If the player turns around on one of the gantries above the studio and looks at the seating area below they'll see that there ''is no audience'' - they're all cardboard cutouts, and all the audience applause and laughter is canned!
154	** Around the same time, remember how Hitler kept raving about how he'd personally killed B.J.? Well, you can find a postcard from him to Engel detailing [[VideoGame/Wolfenstein3D how he'd crushed B.J.'s head while piloting]] a MiniMecha of Deathshead's design. Yes, Hitler [[BelievingTheirOwnLies believes the movie is how it happened]].
155	* Fergus doesn't have much to say to the pirate broadcast when the team yells at America to wake the fuck up, because he's from Britain. Five minutes later, he's doing his own yelling bit to the free people of Scotland.
156	* Shoshana, the cat-monkey, has somehow gotten the top score at the kill-house. You have no hope of beating it, and the best you can do is getting to 2nd place.
157	** And if you somehow manage to start encroaching on her score, she will actually blow through the course again offscreen and shorten her time further.
158	** When Set and the others are getting ready to transplant B.J.'s head onto the supersoldier body, she takes the opportunity to look at B.J. in his jar. While purring.
159	* When Spesh fails to rescue B.J. with a transparently bad story and shaky plan, he gets shot in the head. Engel and her men break out laughing [[LampshadeHanging at the absurdity of it all. How could the Resistance possibly think that would work]]?
160	* The existence of the Wolfstone 3D game aboard Eva's Hammer. What is it? Well, imagine good ol' ''VideoGame/Wolfenstein3D''...with the roles reversed. Instead you're Nazi agent Elite Hans taking on the Kreisau resistance army. All of the Nazi-related textures are modified, swastikas changed to giant [=Ks=], portraits of Hitler changed to Blazko, and boss dialogue recorded in English instead of German. The bosses are all changed too, speaking of which, to Kreisau heroes. General Fettgesicht (the endboss of the Nocturnal Missions, now called U-Boat Missions) is changed to B.J.'s own babymama Anya, Set Roth is just a renamed Doctor Schabbs and instead of the legendary [=MechaHitler=], you get a [=MechaBlazkowicz=] who dies in the exact same fashion as Hitler himself in that game! Additionally, you get to take on Bombate, who is represented as an Englishman presumably because the Nazis don't want to openly admit an African freedom fighter is one of the people kicking their asses. Yet somehow the Resistance enjoys playing this game, with Blazko himself remarking how realistic the DOS-era shooter looks. Considering its still the [=1960s=], it would be like someone being able to play VideoGame/WolfensteinTheNewOrder on the day that VideoGame/BeyondCastleWolfenstein was released.
161	* When beginning the mission to assassinate Ubercommandant Hauser, one soldier can be heard whispering that he's heard some rumours that the aristocratic high command are involved in some kinky sex parties, doing stuff too strange to repeat. At the very end, there's a collectible e-post from General Sommer, telling Hauser that he's looking forward to the feast next week at Hauser's estate, but telling him to forego safe words and asking his wife to wear the pigskin suit this time. His audible conversation with Sommer suggests even more.
162	* "I don't like to toot my own horn. Except literally."
163	* One of the things you can find on Venus while looking for the ODIN codes is a Commander playing a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin theremin]]. Which B.J. can interact with. Said theremin is part of the background music too. Kill the teremin player? No more theremin backing!
164	* Set has a hilariously frustrated and angry outburst at you for introducing the "god key" to him because he can't figure out exactly what it's supposed to be. It's funnier when you realize that of all the crap he went through (being imprisoned in a labor camp for a decade, persecuted for his religion, his people exterminated and their technology exploited, and losing many of his friends and comrades), ''this'' is what finally cracked him.
165	* Most of the stealth takedowns are violent and gory, except for one, where B.J. simply [[HeyYouHaymaker taps the enemy on the shoulder with his hatchet and then punches them out when they turn around.]]
166	[[/folder]]
167
168	[[folder:The DLC]]
169	* As Gunslinger Joe is escaping the facility, one of the objectives is "Find a way out". After stumbling upon the laboratory/morgue, the objective changes to "Definitely find a way out".
170	* Agent Silent Death's rants about [[TheAlcoholic her drinking]], while skulking around in vents. Crowned by:
171	-->'''Grace:''' One time, I was so pissed, I thought there was a family of mice living behind my eye patch. I named them Fionulla, Prentis and Ridgewell.
172	* Grizzled soldier Captain Wilkins, not understanding what radio headsets are.
173	-->'''Ginny (through headset):''' "Are you inside?"\
174	'''Wilkins:''' "What the hell! Get out of my head, spectre!"\
175	'''Ginny:''' "It's a portable radio. How ''old'' are you?"\
176	'''Wilkins:''' "This dumb thing? I thought it was to keep water out of my ears."\
177	'''Ginny:''' "You put them on ''underwater?!''
178	* Wilkins is addicted to killing Nazis:
179	-->'''Ginny:''' "What did I just tell you about fighting down there?"\
180	'''Wilkins:''' "Hey, I had no choice! I didn't even want to fight, I swear!"\
181	'''Ginny:''' "Seriously?"\
182	'''Wilkins:''' "Nah it was great."
183	* When Ginny tells Wilkins of a route around the nearby Nazis (so he doesn't have to wade in and kill them all), he groans "aww" like a disappointed child.
184	* Wilkins can't understand German very well.
185	-->'''Wilkins:''' I was going to shut down this Sonnengenwehr... Sonngenweherer... Sun Gun."\
186	[[/folder]]
187
188	[[folder:Meta and Fan-created]]
189	* Wolfenstein is full of {{Camp}} and NarmCharm. So are eighties cartoons. Naturally, the two of them work incredibly well together in this animation made by Mashed, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn9N7ZMmFrE which reimagines Wolfenstein as an '80s cartoon]].
190	-->'''B.J.''': "Let's give these Nazis a fisting they ''won't'' enjoy!"
191	* Let's just say that this game was promoted and released amid a pretty contentious time in American domestic politics. This game features our hero fighting Nazis, [[https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mbj9xv/the-alt-right-thinks-wolfenstein-the-new-colossus-is-racist-to-white-people which folks in some circles interpreted as anti-white propaganda because it had you killing Nazis, who happened to be white.]] Some snarky internet commentators pointed out that the Wolfenstein games didn't ''recently'' become about killing Nazis, and anyone interested in them was really honestly expected to ''know'' that.
192	[[/folder]]

Context Funny / WolfensteinIITheNewColossus