Line #70 Film/TonganNinja


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/tongan_ninja.jpg]]
2	''Tongan Ninja'' is a 2002 martial arts/musical parody, co-written by and starring Jemaine Clement of ''Music/FlightOfTheConchords'' fame. It's plot is loosely based on the 1972 Creator/BruceLee movie ''Film/WayOfTheDragon'', and along the way it [[AffectionateParody playfully spoofs]] just about every martial arts trope in existence.
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4	The story begins when a young boy named Sione (Sam Manu) survives a plane crash and finds himself stranded on an uncharted pacific island. After seeing his father tragically eaten by fish, the boy was [[RaisedByNatives trained by the locals]] in the art of Ninjitsu and grew to become the most dangerous ninja alive. Upon learning that the peaceful owners of a New Zealand eatery have been targeted by [[BigBad Mr. Big's]] "So-Called-[[TheSyndicate Syndicate]]", Sione's wise old mentor Mr. Magasaki sends him to combat this terrifying threat. The Tongan Ninja must work his way through a host of formidable foes, including Knife Man ("he's good with knives!"), Gun Man ("he's good with guns!") and Hench Man ("he's good with...henches.") before battling the dreaded - [[CarpetOfVirility and very hairy]] - Action Fighter (aka Marvin), his childhood nemesis and all-round {{jerkass}}, who turns out to be the long-lost son of crime-boss Mr. Big.
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7	!!This movie contains the following tropes:
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9	* {{Acrofatic}}: Sione is a bit hefty (he has some muscle on him, though), but is, of course, the Tongan ''Ninja''.
10	* AffectionateParody: Of the entire martial arts genre. Garish-looking costumes, cheap special effects and {{Hong Kong Dub}}bing are all major themes.
11	* ArchEnemy: Marvin/Action Fighter is this to Sione. He bullied him relentlessly when they were kids, is responsible for his father's death and continues to constantly antagonize him well into adulthood.
12	* ArrogantKungFuGuy: Action Fighter is a send-up to the "smug martial arts rival" archetype, and is an all-around insufferable prick.
13	* BadassBoast: Knife Man, Gun Man and Action Fighter all deliver these. Only Action Fighter is able to back up his big talk.
14	* BadassesWearBandanas: Sione's TragicKeepsake is his father's bandana adorned with the Japanese flag and the kanji for "fighting spirit". He wears it throughout the film.
15	* BattleStrip: Hilariously, Sione and Action Fighter devote several seconds of the fight simply to removing their shirts.
16	-->'''Action Fighter:''' We will fight in the traditional style: topless!
17	* BewareTheNiceOnes: Sione is a pleasant guy, but harm his loved ones and he has no problem kicking your head off.
18	* BigBad: The aptly-named "Mr. Big", the leader of the evil syndicate.
19	* BladeEnthusiast: Knife Man. He's good with knives.
20	* BoundAndGagged: "I'd like to see you escape now you've got ''tape on your mouth'' Miss Lee!"
21	* BreakingTheFourthWall: When he's fighting Gun Man, Sione actually grabs the VisibleBoomMic (that's been dangling in shot for a while) and starts deflecting bullets with it.
22	* BruceLeeClone: Action Fighter wears what is essentially Bruce Lee's outfit from ''Film/WayOfTheDragon''.
23	* CaptainObvious: About 95% of the dialogue qualifies.
24	-->'''Action Fighter:''' Yes, he is my father, and whats more...''I am his son!''
25	-->everyone gasps
26	* CarpetOfVirility: Parodied when Action Fighter [[BattleStrip takes off his shirt]] and reveals a bizarre and ''very'' copious formation of chest hair.
27	-->'''Mr. Big:''' Just like his mother...
28	* ChaseScene: When Sione rides in hot pursuit of Mr. Big's Mooks, and seems to be pre-empting their every move:
29	-->'''Passenger Mook:''' [[PsychicPowers Somehow he knows where we're going!]]
30	-->'''Driver Mook:''' [[TooDumbToLive Should I stop indicating?]]
31	* CharacterTitle: Sione is the Tongan Ninja.
32	* ChopSockey: The entire film is a send up to this genre.
33	* CivvieSpandex: While Knife Man wears a garish jumpsuit and goggles, Gun Man looks like a regular guy, and doesn't seem to have even bothered wearing a costume.
34	* CruelAndUnusualDeath: Sione's father had his legs eaten off by piranhas and then died from blood loss.
35	* CurbstompBattle: Sione vs. Knife Man and Action Fighter vs. Gun Man. Sione and Action Fighter both win in a single attack.
36	* DamselInDistress: Miss Lee gets kidnapped by the Evil Syndicate during the climax.
37	* DeceasedParentsAreTheBest: Sione's loving father was eaten by a fish. Also, Miss Lee's parents were squished by Franchise/{{Godzilla}}, leaving her to be raised by [[ParentalSubstitute her uncle]].
38	* DiabolicalMastermind: Mr. Big, supposedly. In reality, he doesn't really do much more than send various goons to beat various people up.
39	* DragonInChief: [[TheRival Action Fighter]] goes on to become Mr. Big's top enforcer, along with Sione's final opponent.
40	* ElvisImpersonator: Action Fighter in the opening credits, quite [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment inexplicably]].
41	* EnfantTerrible: Marvin. Doubles up as EvilFormerFriend, assuming he and Sione ''were'' friends (and that's the most obvious explanation for Marvin being brought on the plane ride with Sione and his dad in the first place - aside from RuleOfFunny).
42	* EvilAllAlong: [[EvilChef Chef Guy!]] And ''very'' ObviouslyEvil from the beginning at that.
43	-->'''Chef Guy:''' That's right! [[PlotTwist I am the twist!]] [[LampshadeHanging In a very cleverly conceived plot,]] [[BreakingTheFourthWall on many levels!]]
44	* EyeScream: Action Fighter references this: "So I gouged this guy's eyes out, [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment then I swapped them round and replaced them...as a joke.]]"
45	* FakeUltimateMook: Despite the special fanfare both are given during their introductions, Knife Man and Gun Man are each defeated effortlessly. In fact, there are several random {{Mooks}} who fare better in a fight than they do.
46	* FanserviceExtra: Action Fighter's StatOVision screen has him surrounded by four bikini-clad women.
47	* FatalFlaw: Action Fighter is an unbeatable karate master, but has absolutely no fighting spirit whatsoever. Thus, he will never be able to master Mr. Magasaki's magic glow technique.
48	* FelonyMisdemeanor: As a child, Action Fighter used to put [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes spiders]] in Sione's futon! What a bastard! (He also deliberately caused the plane crash that stranded them on the island and ''laughed'' as Sione's father was eaten by fish, but it was [[SkewedPriorities those damn spiders]] that really got on Sione's nerves).
49	* FishOutOfWater: Sione when he visits New Zealand, being completely unfamiliar with modern civilisation and technology.
50	* ForTheEvulz: Seemingly the only reason why Marvin sabotages the plane he, Sione and Sione's father were riding in. He strands all three of them, himself included, in a jungle with no means of escape simply to be a dick.
51	* FreudianExcuse: During the final standoff, Action Fighter actually ''admits'' that the reason he's such a jerkass is because he's always been [[GreenEyedMonster jealous of Sione]] (specifically Sione's close relationship with his father). It looks for a second like he's about to pull a HeelFaceTurn, but it turns out Sione simply [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} zoned out for a minute]] and [[NotListeningToMeAreYou wasn't listening]] at all. The fight then continues as if nothing had happened.
52	* FunnyBruceLeeNoises: All fights include a liberal amount of high-pitched screaming.
53	* GigglingVillain: Asian Sidekick, who does little more than loudly laugh and comment about everything that happens immediately after it happens.
54	* GoshDangItToHeck: Played for laughs with Mr. Big and his mooks, who all go to baffling lengths to avoid swearing.
55	-->'''Mr. Big:''' What the flup did you say?!
56	* GroinAttack:
57	-->'''Action Fighter:''' Movement 2A advanced: kick in the balls!
58	* TheGunslinger: Gun Man. He's pretty good with guns.
59	* TheHero: Sione, the titular Tongan Ninja.
60	* HeroicResolve: A high amount of a vaguely-defined attribute known only as "fighting spirit" is required for a person to be able to perform [[KiManipulation Mr. Magasaki's magic glow technique]]. Action Fighter's FatalFlaw is that he has none.
61	* HiddenDepths: Knife Man's StatOVision screen reveals him to possess a surprisingly high amount of fighting spirit, something which the other villains that have their stats shown sorely lack. Despite this, as all of his other stats are mediocre, Sione beats him in a few seconds.
62	* HighlyVisibleNinja: Sione and Action Fighter are ninjas InNameOnly.
63	* HongKongDub: Taken to absurd levels. Quite often full lines of dialogue will be issuing from a character's ''closed'' mouth.
64	* {{Infodump}}: The "plot" is almost exclusively advanced through lengthy and semi-sensical exposition-filled conversations between various characters.
65	* InformedAbility: Neither Knife Man or Gun Man gets to display either of their supposed skills. This is possibly lampshaded by their StatOVision screens, which list them both as having very low "skill" stats.
66	* InsistentTerminology: Never mind the fact that they never do anything remotely ninja-like, Sione and Action Fighter are ''ninjas''.
67	* ItsPersonalWithTheDragon: Sione has an extensive history with Action Fighter but has no connection to Mr. Big.
68	* {{Jerkass}}: Marvin, better known as Action Fighter, is a murderous borderline sociopath who, on top of that, acts like a taunting schoolyard bully at all times.
69	* KensingtonGore: Parodied. When Sione has [[BloodFromTheMouth blood coming from his mouth]], it's ''pink''.
70	* KlingonPromotion: Action Fighter joins the Syndicate by killing Gun Man, their previous enforcer.
71	* LackOfEmpathy: Marvin immediately mocks Sione for having a dad who was eaten by piranhas. Which only happened because he was carrying Marvin to safety across a lake filled with them. Which only happened because Marvin crashed the plane that they were driving in into a jungle.
72	* LargeHam: Chef Guy, Chang the waiter and everyone affiliated with the So-Called Syndicate besides [[TheQuietOne Gun Man]].
73	* LikeFatherLikeSon:
74	-->'''Mr. Big:''' Make my coffee extra strong.
75	-->'''Action Fighter:''' I also take my coffee...''extra strong!''
76	-->'''Asian Sidekick:''' It is as foretold in the prophecy!
77	* LipLock: Parodied. Every character is blatantly dubbed over in a rather half-assed way.
78	* LoanShark: The So-Called-Syndicate is trying to get Chef Guy to sell his restaurant to them by sending goons to scare off customers and bankrupt him.
79	* LukeIAmYourFather: And whats more...[[CaptainObvious Luke is his son.]]
80	* MaliciousMisnaming: Possibly. While Sione calls Action Fighter "Action Figure" at the beginning of their fight, he corrects himself after it's pointed out to him.
81	-->'''Action Fighter:''' Are you ready, [[SayMyName Tongan Ninja]]?
82	-->'''Sione:''' I am ready, Action Figure.
83	-->'''Action Fighter:''' Action Fighter.
84	-->'''Sione:''' Action Fighter.
85	* McNinja: Sione is Tongan and a ninja, therefore he is the Tongan Ninja.
86	* MotorMouth: Knife Man just won't stop talking about his knives.
87	* MrFanservice: PlayedForLaughs with Action Fighter, who possesses a unique "sexyness" stat, which he has of course maxed out, and makes a point of fighting topless during his final encounter with Sione. Despite this, he is revealed to have a ridiculous and rather disgusting amount of chest hair immediately upon taking off his shirt.
88	* {{Musical}}: The movie is ''sort of'' a musical, although the songs are infrequent enough that each one feels like a BigLippedAlligatorMoment. Especially the Chef's "Chop Suey" song, where a bunch of brightly-dressed dancers and backing vocalists appear out of nowhere and then abruptly disappear afterwards.
89	* NiceGuy: Sione is an upstanding guy all around who is polite to everyone he meets.
90	* OffWithHisHead: Sione manages to decapitate Knife Man by ''kicking him in the head''.
91	* OldMaster: Mr. Magasaki is the classic old karate master stereotype.
92	* OverlordJr: Action Fighter is revealed to be Mr. Big's son, and is immediately accepted as his successor.
93	* OverlyLongName: Dwayne the waiter's real name.
94	* ParentalSubstitute: Miss Lee's uncle, and Mr. Magasaki to Sione and Marvin. He took them both under his wing after they were abandoned in the jungle following Sione's father's death. Sione sees him as a second father, whereas Marvin is indignant.
95	* PowerGlows: Mr. Magasaki's magic glow is some kind of energy attack that glows a bright green. It can only be performed by a ninja who is pure of heart, knowledge and spirit. Sione himself succeeds in mastering it during his final battle against Action Fighter.
96	* TheQuietOne: Compared to the talkative Knife Man, Gun Man is a man of few words. Coupled with [[CivvieSpandex his very plain appearance]], he doesn't really come off as an assassin at all.
97	* RaisedByNatives: Sione and Marvin. After crash-landing in the jungle, they were taken in by Mr. Magasaki, a local karate master.
98	* TheRival: Action Fighter, Sione's lifelong nemesis and Mr. Magasaki's other student.
99	* SchoolyardBullyAllGrownUp: Sione's childhood bully Marvin grows up into his rival Action Fighter, who essentially behaves exactly as he did as a child with the addition of amazing karate skills.
100	* SmallNameBigEgo: Despite their boasts and being ''named'' after their supposed skills, Knife Man and Gun Man's StatOVision screens reveal them to actually have very low "skill" stats. Fittingly, they're both defeated pretty easily.
101	-->'''Action Fighter:''' So, you are the infamous Gun Man. [[CaptainObvious I hear you're pretty good with guns.]]
102	-->'''Gun Man:''' [[BadassBoast I'm not just good. I'm the best.]]
103	-->'''Action Fighter:''' (dismissively) I hear you're pretty good.
104	* StatOVision: Knife Man, Gun Man and Action Fighter all receive a special screen that features a short song based around them and four meters showing their power, endurance, skill and fighting spirit. While Knife Man and Gun Man have stats that go all over the place, Action Fighter is shown to have maxed out all but fighting spirit, which is quickly replaced by a maxed out [[MrFanservice "sexyness"]] stat. Fittingly, [[{{Foreshadowing}} Action Fighter's complete lack of fighting spirit eventually proves to be his undoing]].
105	* SlipperySkid: A variation, wherein the villains try to [[VehicularSabotage sabotage]] Sione's vehicle by dropping a ''single'' drawing pin on the road behind them, and then a pebble.
106	* TheSmurfettePrinciple: Miss Lee is the only important female character, with all others being extras.
107	* StylisticSuck: Everything about the film is gloriously cheesy.
108	* SuperiorSuccessor: Action Fighter [[KlingonPromotion replaces]] Gun Man as the Syndicate's top enforcer and is better than him in every way.
109	-->'''Asian Sidekick:''' [[DullSurprise You are much better than Gun Man. We miss him no longer.]]
110	* TheSyndicate: The NebulousEvilOrganisation is literally named "The So-Called Syndicate".
111	* TalkingIsAFreeAction: While mostly played straight, it is averted in a single instance, where Sione gets fed up with hearing [[MotorMouth Knife Man's]] seemingly-endless BadassBoast and [[OffWithHisHead kicks his head off]] [[CurbStompBattle before he even gets a chance to attack]].
112	* TitleThemeTune: "The Tale of the Tongan Ninja", a spoof of the archetypal [[Film/JamesBond Bond]] themes, features Action Fighter writhing around in an Music/{{Elvis\|Presley}} costume, spouting some truly bizarre lyrics (they were written by [[Music/FlightOfTheConchords Jemaine Clement and Bret [=McKenzie=]]] so that's to be expected).
113	* TragicKeepsake: Sione's last memento of his father is his old bandana, which he wore for good luck while flying.
114	* ThereAreNoPolice: Lampshaded. The So-Called Syndicate ''owns'' the Police. Somehow.
115	* TooDumbToLive: Practically everyone. The entire plot relies upon the fact that the protagonists and villains are all equally ridiculous and dim-witted.
116	* TroubledBackstoryFlashback: When Sione catches sight of a pond, he's reminded of his father's death and starts to angst.
117	* VocalDissonance: Action Fighter is played by the TallDarkAndHandsome Jemaine Clement but has a high-pitched, raspy and extremely annoying voice.
118	* WhatTheFuAreYouDoing: The fight scenes are generally rather lame-looking, and include things such as irritating pokes as techniques. Even ignoring this, despite being referred to as ninjas, Sione and Action Fighter never display any abilities associated with ninjas.
119	* WireFu: Sione and Action Fighter's final battle begins with the two clashing in midair while being lifted by obvious wires.
120	* YouFightLikeACow:
121	-->'''Action Fighter:''' You fight like a baby...a dead baby!

Context Film / TonganNinja