Line #17 FanFic/IndianaJonesDotCom


1	->''"Indy gets teleported into the year 2008 by an evil force. Will he last or lose his mind?"''
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3	''[[https://web.archive.org/web/20160413212833/https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4445668/1/Indiana Indiana Jones Dot Com]]'' is a... [[CrackFic strange]] ''Franchise/IndianaJones'' fanfiction by Creator/{{THEPETEPETERSONEXPERIENCE}}.
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5	After venturing into a cave and getting a gold tube that grants him the power of flight, Indiana Jones finds [[Creator/SeanConnery his dad Dr. Jones]] and takes him flying... but then Dr. Jones has a shocking admission: He was sent from the future to kill Indy. Needless to say, [[BigNo Indy doesn't handle this too well]], and Dr. Jones sends him into the future... first to the World Trade Center on September 11 (yes, [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror THAT September 11]]), and then to the year 2008. Indy is distraught by the fact that his "history is now history", but then he meets a "really cool kid" named Andy who offers to help him get back to his time period. Meanwhile, Dr. Jones is plotting to take over the world, and he does so by running for "overlord of the world" by eating UsefulNotes/BarackObama and John [=McCain=].
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7	And that's just the beginning of the sheer insanity on display.
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9	Quite possibly the most insane and surreal ''Indiana Jones'' fanfiction ever written, the story is full of spelling errors, characters acting out of character, and generally makes no sense whatsoever. Compare ''Fanfic/LightAndDarkTheAdventuresOfDarkYagami''.
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11	----
12	!!This FanFic provides examples of:
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14	* AnachronismStew: Coming from the author of ''FanFic/RedDeadRedemptionButWithAGoodEnding'', this was to be expected. Some of it can be excused by time travel, but we still have Indy singing a Music/NickiMinaj song in Chapter 12, explicitly ''after'' he was sent back in time again (or something...). Never mind the fact that a guy from the '30s even knows what rap ''is''.
15	* AssShove: The gold tube is activated by sticking it up one's ass.
16	* UsefulNotes/BarackObama: Shows up and declares "We need change! No more motherfucking bullshit in the White House!", only to be eaten by Dr. Jones so he can become overlord of the world.
17	* BigDamnHeroes: Just when it looks like Indy's about to be raped by Music/{{Prince}} and Prince Fucklestein, Marion saves the day with her airplane made entirely of chainsaws.
18	* BlackComedyRape: Steven Spielberg, Andy, Prince Fucklestein, and Prince the singer all attempt to rape Indy at various points in the fic; the latter two actually succeed...except for the fact that the author [[{{Retcon}} claims they didn't in the next chapter]]. It's notable that both Andy and Prince Fucklestein only tried to do so ''after'' Indy castrated them.
19	* ButtMonkey: ''Indy''. Let's see... his own father is trying to kill him, he's been warped through time into the year 2008, he finds out that he's a fictional character, gets beat up often, and just about everyone he meets ends up betraying him.
20	* CelebrityParadox: Addressed, if in a rather inconclusive way; Harrison Ford (or, rather, "HARRISON FORD", as it's constantly rendered in-story) shows up, and the narration states that he and Indy look alike and "[are] the same person"...but a few sentences later, he dies and is never mentioned again.
21	* ChainsawGood: Marion has a plane made entirely of chainsaws.
22	* TheChewToy: Indy again.
23	* ClusterFBomb: Frequently.
24	* CrackFic
25	* CurbStompBattle: Even though he doesn't win, Indy does this to Andy in their fight in chapter 5. Andy manages to "bitchslap" Indy, but Indy spends the rest of the fight easily beating him up, literally curb stomping him, and even [[GroinAttack whipping his dick off]]. The only reason Andy won is because he showed Indy his "lizard tong", which scared Indy so badly he passed out.
26	* {{Crossover}}: With ''Franchise/StarWars'', several times; an Imperial Star Destroyer appears (piloted by Creator/GeorgeLucas, Creator/StevenSpielberg, and for some reason, UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush), which Indy proceeds to pull down from orbit with the Force "like startkiller in [[VideoGame/TheForceUnleashed STAR WARS THER FGORCE INLEASHED]]".
27	* DemonLordsAndArchdevils: Dr. Jones, in his true identity of "jobens", is revealed in Chapter 8 to be a General of Hell...and yet is still human. And it doesn't seem to have much impact on the story.
28	* DiabolusExNihilo: A rather bizarre example appears in the form of the inexplicably malevolent steam shovel that randomly attacks Indy in the desert; within the next few sentences, Indy "kicked [its] ass by flipping it over".
29	* DisintegratorRay: "marion started disteingereate. all cuz of a beam spiltter used by[[DramaticEllipsis ...]]DOCTOR JOBEMS"
30	* FaceHeelTurn: Indy gets betrayed by his own father, Andy, Music/{{Prince}}, and even '''''his own hat.'''''
31	* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Indy, having been sent through time from the 1930s to first 2001 and then 2008.
32	* FreudianSlip: Short Round is misspelled as "shit ruond" at one point.
33	* UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush: Shows up to fight Indy for no reason whatsoever. And then disappears just as quickly.
34	* GroinAttack: Indy manages to whip Andy's dick off, and later punches Prince Fucklestein's "funking balls off".
35	* ImAHumanitarian: Dr. Jones has the ability to suck people into his mouth and gain their powers.
36	* InsultBackfire: Happens in Chapter 6, with Dr. Jones and Andy (who has [[VoluntaryShapeshifting transformed into a snake]]):
37	--> Dr. Jones: U snake!
38	--> Andy: thank U.
39	* KamehameHadoken: In chapter 8, Indy discovers that shoving the gold tube even ''further'' up his ass gives him the power to shoot energy blasts.
40	* MadeOfExplodium: The Titanic explodes, after Indy... hits it with his whip.
41	* MegaManning: Dr. Jones can assimilate the powers and knowledge of anyone he "absops" by sucking them into his mouth; through this method, he gains the combined powers of Barack Obama and John [=McCain=] (whatever the hell those might be...), and later acquires the knowledge needed to fly a plane by eating a random pilot.
42	* {{Midquel}}: This fanfiction is supposedly set "after [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade the 3rd movie]] but before [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull the crystal skoal]]".
43	* MindScrew: The fic starts off weird, and just gets more and more nonsensical as it goes on.
44	* OffingTheOffspring: Dr. Jones was sent from the future to kill his son. Don't ask how that works.
45	* PottyFailure: Dr. Jones soils himself while getting beaten up by Short Round.
46	* Music/{{Prince}}: Shows up when Indy asks for his help... only to quickly betray and try to rape him before being killed by Marion's chainsaw plane. Notably, he's often referred to as "O(+>)", the "love symbol" he changed his name to in the 90s.
47	* ReptilesAreAbhorrent: Andy, when he shows off his "lizard tongue" and turns into a snake. In fact, when Dr. Jones calls him a snake as an insult, Andy thanks him.
48	* RougeAnglesOfSatin: All over the damn place.
49	* SayItWithHearts: Characters frequently yell, "!", when surprised or scared.
50	* ShoutOut: To ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'', in Chapter 7; Indy, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg inexplicably get into a turn-by-turn battle done in the style of the ''Pokemon'' games. And in Chapter 8, the government woman who sends Indy on his mission is described as being "like moya from [[VideoGame/InFamous infamous 1]] (which is a kick [[XtremeKoolLetterz azz]] game)".
51	* SssssnakeTalk: Andy after transforming into a snake.
52	* TakeThat: Chapter 2 has derogatory references to "an ugly geekazoid name kaiser snot[[note]]actually Scott, judging by the other fics in which he appears[[/note]] and his gay friends", who are apparently flamers of the author. And Kaiser Scott is described as "the most despicable loser alive".
53	* ToiletHumor: When Indy and Andy are watching ''[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull Indy 4]]'' at a movie theater, the movie suddenly cuts to footage of Indy on the toilet taking "the biggest dump ever". And near the end, Indy and Marion crash into a "sewer tower" that literally floods the area with shit that they have to swim through. Andy and Dr. Jones appear to drown in it... although as of chapter 8, while the verdict's out on Andy, Dr. Jones got better. Meanwhile, in Chapter 7, Prince Fucklestein's entire culture seems to revolve around faeces; they worship a tower of shit (which Indy accidentally destroys), and later carry Indy away on an elephant with a "saddle made of pure shit".
54	* TomatoInTheMirror: Indy learns that he's a fictional character. [[HeroicBSOD He doesn't take it very well.]]
55	* VillainTeamUp: Dr. Jones and Andy join forces in chapter 6.
56	* VoluntaryShapeshifting: Andy is a "transimorphigarpp", which means he can take any shape he wants.
57	* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: Duh, it's Indiana Jones. Andy is able to exploit this fear once he betrays Indy... because he himself is a snake. Or to be more exact, a "TRANSIMORPHIGARPP!"
58	* WouldHurtAChild: Not only does Dr. Jones fight Short Round, he also holds grabs a kid at the top of a roller coaster and holds him over the edge while threatening "i will fucking drop him to shit!"

Context FanFic / IndianaJonesDotCom