Line #55 Characters/TheFastShow


1	Note: This page is still in progress.
2
3	[[folder:The Offroaders]]
4	!!Simon Bird
5	--> Played by: '''Charlie Higson'''
6	Simon, along with his friend Lyndsay, is making a video of their outdoor exploits to try to impress the people at their Offroading club. However, he is unable to hide the fact that they are crap at everything they do.
7	* AllThereInTheManual: His surname is never heard in any of the sketches.
8	* CoolShades: He is almost always seen wearing sunglasses.
9	* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Simon is often very mean to Lyndsay, but he is quick to try and calm him down when Lyndsay gets frightened.
10	* MushroomSamba: When he and Lyndsay go on a Survival Expedition, they cook some mushrooms he found (and top put them on a pizza Lyndsay got from a nearby Pizza Hut). The next time we see him, Simon is high and covered in face paint, and calling himself the Mushroom God.
11	* InSeriesNickname: Si
12
13	!!Lyndsay Motteram
14	--> Played by: Paul Whitehouse
15	Lyndsay, unlike his friend Simon, seems to hold the view that their adventures are just a bit of fun. He is contently laughing or telling crap jokes to Simon or the camera, much to his friend's irritation.
16	* AllThereInTheManual: His surname is never heard in any of the sketches.
17	* InSeriesNickname: Lynds
18	* UnfriendlyFire: During the Offroaders' attempt at paintball, every time Simon asks Lyndsey to cover him, Lyndsey invariably winds up shooting him in the back.
19
20	!!Baz
21	Baz is Lyndsay and Simon's friend, who comes along with them on their adventures to film them on his camera.
22	* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname
23	* TheUnseen: We never see him; we only occasionally hear his voice.
24	[[/folder]]
25
26	[[folder:Rowley Birkin QC]]
27	--> Played by: '''Paul Whitehouse'''
28	A sozzled old minister who tells long rambling stories about his life.
29	* CloudCuckoolander: Regardless if his stories are true or not, he’s a rather odd man.
30	* TearJerker: He tells one story that appears to be of a lost love. He then delivers his catchphrase totally soberly straight to the camera.
31	* TheAlcoholic: Every story of his involves being very, very drunk.
32	* TheUnintelligible: His stories involve a lot of mumbling and rambling, punctuated with the occasional word the audience is able to understand.
33	[[/folder]]
34
35	[[folder:Ron Manager]]
36	!!Ron Manager
37	--> Played by '''Paul Whitehouse'''
38	A former footballer, Ron Manager is a middle aged manager and pundit, who is often found in the commentary box during football matches. Unfortunately, Ron is prone to talking about literally anything but the football, much to the irritation of the presenter and Tommy.
39	* AmbiguouslyGay: Ron frequently makes comments about how various football players are attractive, and on one occasion says this:
40	-->"Which is another reason not to kiss girls!"
41	* CatchPhrase: 'Small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts...'.
42	* VerbalTic: 'Isn't it?' 'Wasn't it?' 'Hmm?' 'Marvellous!'
43	* WaxingLyrical: Ron does this constantly. Sometimes, he actually starts singing.
44
45	!!Tommy Stein
46	--> Played by '''Creator/MarkWilliams'''
47	A Scottish former footballer, Tommy is often found sitting next to Ron in the commentary box. He is much more sensible than Ron, usually actually answering the questions given to him, although he sometimes acts just as badly as Ron.
48	* AmbiguouslyGay: Tommy has joined in Ron's discussions about which footballers they find most attractive.
49	* WaxingLyrical: Tommy is prone to doing this too.
50	[[/folder]]
51
52	[[folder:Ted and Ralph]]
53	!!Ralph Mayhew
54	--> Played by '''Charlie Higson'''
55	Ralph lives alone in the manor house in the village he grew up in. His parents are dead and he isn't married. The only person he regularly talks to is his groundskeeper, Ted. It is no great secret to everyone in the village that Ralph is gay, and the object of his affection is Ted. Ralph spends most of his time trying not-so-subtly trying to ask Ted out, with little success.
56	----
57	* BewareTheNiceOnes: Ralph is a very nice, calm person, but he will snap and yell at anyone who insults Ted. A good example of this is when Ralph is out shooting in the grounds with Clive, a fellow landowner. Clive keeps insulting Ted (including picking on him for being Irish and expecting him to do menial jobs like cleaning his shoes), and Ralph visibly gets more and more tense and irritated, before finally snapping:
58	-->'''Ralph:''' ''[Screaming and grabbing Clive's jacket]'' LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE! HIM! ALONE!
59	* CannotSpitItOut: He can never quite get to the point of declaring his interest in Ted.
60	* TheWoobie: Ralph is the sort of character you just want to hug.
61
62	!!Ted
63	--> Played by '''Paul Whitehouse'''
64	Ted is an Irish groundskeeper, and lives in the cottage inside the grounds of the Mayhew manor house. He has worked there since he was a young man; he used to work for Ralph's father, and now works for Ralph. He is married to Esther, but she dies some time during the third series. Ted spends most of his time gently rejecting Ralph's offers.
65	----
66	* CatchPhrase: He is much concerned with "the drainage in the lower fields", although this does often seem to be a bit of a tactic to try and extricate himself from an awkward conversation with Ralph.
67	* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: Ted's full name (Edward) is not heard until series 3 episode 8 and his surname is never given at all.
68	* OnlySaneMan: Unlike just about every other character in the show Ted seems to be a perfectly normal guy stuck in a recurring awkward social situation.
69	* TheWoobie: Ted certainly becomes one of these after his wife dies.
70	[[/folder]]
71
72	[[folder:Archie]]
73	!!Archie
74	--> Played by '''Paul Whitehouse'''
75	Archie, an ageing pub bore, is usually found in his local pub of an evening. Sporting a three piece suit and always carrying a pint of beer and a lit cigarette, he is apparently lonely, because he doesn't seem to have anyone to talk to. This leads him to approach strangers and start talking to them about their interest or job. Somehow, Archie is always an expert in this subject, and rambles on about how he did it for 'thirty years, man and boy'. However, these conversations always end with Archie giving the person a lecture about fishing and Frank Sinatra.
76	* {{Catchphrase}}: 'Thirty years, man and boy'.
77	* FanDumb: Archie is a textbook example of the monomaniac subtype.
78	* TheWoobie: Archie's situation is rather depressing, when you think about it. He lives alone, his dog his ill, and on one occasion he reveals that he's had suicidal thoughts.
79	[[/folder]]
80
81	[[folder:Dave Angel]]
82	!!Dave Angel
83	---> Played by '''Simon Day'''
84	Dave Angel, Eco Warrior is a typical Essex lad with one key difference: he actually cares about the environment. He appears to be presenting his own television programme, teaching the public about how to help the environment. However, his efforts are constantly hindered by his wife, Shirley.
85	* FunnyBackgroundEvent: Shirley is often doing the exact thing Dave is warning against in the background whilst he is talking to the camera.
86	* NoFourthWall: Dave talks directly to the camera.
87	[[/folder]]
88
89	[[folder:Bob Fleming]]
90	!!Bob Fleming
91	--> '''Played by Charlie Higson'''
92	Bob Fleming is the ageing host of the long-running country TV programme, Country Matters. He is very passionate about his job, but, unfortunately for Nick, the producer, Bob cannot stop coughing long enough for the viewers to actually understand what he is saying. He is often joined by his various friends, who all have similar problems.
93	* CharacterTic: His cough.
94	* CountryMatters: The name of his programme is presumably not accidental.
95	* PunnyName: Bob ''Fleming'' may have a problem with ''phlegm''.
96
97	!!Clive Tucker
98	---> Played by '''Mark Williams'''
99	Clive Tucker is one of Bob's oldest friends. A recurring guest on 'Country Matters', he too loves the country, but his hay fever often means he can't stop sneezing.
100	* CharacterTic: His constant sneezing.
101
102	!!Jed Thomas
103	--> Played by '''Paul Whitehouse'''
104	Jed Thomas is another of Bob's friends, and the other recurring guest on 'Country Matters'. His problem is that he appears to have Tourette's Syndrome, and so cannot stop saying the word 'arse'.
105	* HollywoodTourettes: Not all people with Tourette's Syndrome swear, and they have physical tics too.
106	* VerbalTic: ARSE!
107	[[/folder]]
108
109	[[folder: Swiss Toni]]
110	!!Swiss Toni
111	--> Played by '''Charlie Higson'''
112	The suave middle-aged owner of a used car dealership. Flashily-presented in a silver-grey double-breasted suit, a large bouffant and moustache, Toni tends to view life through the single prism of his sexual appetites. He sees himself as a man of the world mentoring his young employee Paul in the ways of selling cars and dealing with the ladies, but it quickly becomes apparent that his life is not running as smooth as he presents himself.
113	* CatchPhrase: "Doing [X], Paul, is like making love to a beautiful woman..."
114	* HiddenDepths: For all his apparent charm and sophistication, events in his personal life appear to have shattered his confidence.
115	* HollywoodMidLifeCrisis: One that, as the sketches progress, gradually starts to boil over into a full-blown mental collapse.
116	* JustLikeMakingLove: His RunningGag.
117	* MadnessMantra: One late-arc sketch ends with Toni, having gotten lost in a {{Metaphorgotten}} rant about the similarities between making a cup of coffee and sleeping with a woman and sending Paul out to deal with a customer that he was too frightened to handle himself, alone in his office muttering "Got to get it back, Toni... got to get it back..." to himself.
118	* {{Metaphorgotten}}: As his marriage falls apart, his business fails and his life gradually crumbles, his constant comparisons to making love to beautiful women start to become a lot more tenuous.
119	* SexistUsedCarSalesman: Practically the dictionary definition of the trope. One of his final sketches involves him, after undergoing some therapy, amazed to discover that women are actually people.
120	* SmallNameBigEgo: While it may have been true at one point, it's heavily implied that Swiss Toni's boasts of success have not been as accurate as he'd like for a while; his car dealership never seems to have customers, his marriage appears to have broken down, and for all his braggadocio about the opposite sex the one time a woman actually appears at the lot he spends his time hiding in his office pontificating until she eventually goes away.
121	* StoryArc: His sketches follow an ongoing narrative surrounding the collapse of his marriage and business and a gradual nervous breakdown.
122	* WhamLine: "FOR GOD'S SAKE PAUL! Do you not realise?! I'm... having a nervous breakdown..."
123
124	!!Paul
125	-->Played by '''Rhys Thomas'''
126	Toni's young employee on the car lot. While less experienced in the world, he has lots more common sense than his employer.
127
128	* ArmorPiercingQuestion: After yet another session of Toni boasting about his success with women and the amount of numbers he has in his little black book, Paul sympathetically-yet-knowingly asks "Is that why your wife left you?" The response is a silent, cold glare from Toni.
129	[[/folder]]
130
131	[[folder:Monkfish]]
132	!!Monkfish
133	-->Played by '''Simon Day'''
134	The main character of several brand new BBC drama series played by John Actor, Monkfish is tough and uncompromising in whatever profession he undertakes.
135
136	* ActingForTwo: Invoked with ''Monkfish & Monkfish'' where John Actor plays both Inspector Monkfish and Inspector Monkfish, parodying the BuddyCopShow where the pair of them are assigned to the same case and both demand that the other make them a cup of tea.
137	* BlasphemousBoast: In ''Monkfish, M.D.'', he claims that "God doesn't heal people, I do."
138	* CatchPhrase: He has a couple of recurring ones:
139	** "I'm in charge here" is often used when he arrives on the scene.
140	** "[Title] Monkfish, to you" when someone simply refers to him by name.
141	** "Put your knickers on and go and make me a cup of tea!" is always directed at female characters, the first instance of which is to ''the murder victim's grieving widow''.
142	* TheCharacterDiedWithHim[[invoked]]: Invoked, defied, ''and'' PlayedForLaughs. John Actor himself dies at some point, but that doesn't stop the BBC from using his corpse for a posthumous role in ''[=McMonkfish=]'', where he plays a tough, uncompromising, [[Series/{{Taggart}} dead Scottish detective]].
143	* CowboyCop: His default personality is a tough, uncompromising detective regardless of whatever job he's doing, whether he's actually a cop or he's a doctor, vet, generalissimo, butler, or interior decorator.
144	* CrossCastRole: In universe, ''[[Series/PrimeSuspect Prime Monkfish]]'' is this. That said, it's literally just John Actor playing Monkfish in a dodgy blonde wig.
145	* DoctorJerk: In ''Monkfish M.D.'' and ''All Monkfish Great And Small'', Monkfish brings his distinct tough, uncompromising persona to the job by being the biggest asshole he can be.
146	* OvertOperative: When he's undercover, his disguise is basically to walk a short distance behind mobsters as a one man band, making as much noise as possible.
147	* MeaningfulName: Not Monkfish himself, but he's portrayed by an actor with the incredibly fitting name of John Actor.
148	* StrawMisogynist: His default reaction to any female characters is to demand they put their knickers on and get him a cup of tea. Well, except in ''[[Series/PrimeSuspect Prime Monkfish]]'', where he ''is'' the female character. This includes a murder victim's ''widow''.
149	* TheyCallMeMisterTibbs: Whenever someone refers to him by name, he'll correct them with "That's Inspector/Doctor/Generalissimo Monkfish to you!"
150	* {{Typecasting}}: Invoked. John Actor plays Monkfish exactly the same way, regardless of his profession.
151	* WhyDoYouKeepChangingJobs: He has various different professions in each series, all with the same tough, uncompromising approach to the job.

Context Characters / TheFastShow