Line #14 Characters/BarkleyShutUpAndJamGaiden


1	-->[[RunningGag Warning: The character page you are about to read is canon.]]
2	[[foldercontrol]]
3
4	[[folder:Charles Barkley]]
5	!!Charles Barkley
6	The famous B-Ball player. After the events of Film/SpaceJam, he performed a chaos dunk that killed a lot people (including his wife Maureen). Now bitter and cynical he raises his son Hoopz.
7	----
8	* AntiHero: Barkley's only concern is protecting his son and is otherwise unconcerned with the plight of others unless it helps him advance his goals. [[spoiler:He also proves to be the most WeakWilled of the protagonists as the only one to fail the SecretTestOfCharacter at the end of the game]].
9	* TheAtoner: Barkley performed the Chaos Dunk that threw the world into its currently ruined state, destroyed the sport he loved, and killed millions, including his wife.
10	* CallingYourAttacks: "CHAAAAAAOOOOOOSSS DUUUUUUUUNNK!"
11	* CelibateHero: After the death of his wife, Barkley would never allow himself to fall for another woman.
12	* CompressedVice: In the Cuchulainn's Tomb arc, each character is faced with a desire that they must resist. Barkley's is the only one that wasn't already established, despite him having many desires such as Hoopz safety, bringing his wife back, reversing the damage he caused to the world, etc. [[spoiler:He's tempted with gold. He fails.]]
13	* DualWielding: [[spoiler: After you acquire the Hell b-ball you will also use Shimmerglobe with after you leave Cuchulainn's tomb.]]
14	* GoldFever: [[spoiler:In the Temple of Cuchulainn, he fails his SecretTestOfCharacter by succumbing to his desire for Incan gold.]]
15	* IKnowMaddenKombat: Barkley fights using his B-Ball skill and uses balls as his main weapons. He encounters various other enemies who do so.
16	* ImprobableWeaponUser: Charles Barkley, unsurprisingly, fights with all kinds of balls. Soccerballs, volleyballs, basketballs, spiked balls, mystic balls... If that's not enough he can dual wield (later) too!
17	* MightyGlacier: Slowest of the party members and the resident tank.
18	* NeverGotToSayGoodbye: Barkley's wife Maureen was killed in the Chaos Dunk.
19	* OlderThanTheyLook: Considering that the real Charles Barkley was born in 1963, he would have to be 89 by the time the game takes place.
20	* OnlySaneMan: He typically acts as the relative straight man to the wackiness of the setting, though even he has his moments.
21	* PapaWolf: Barkley's primary concern above all else is his desire to be a good father to Hoopz and protect him from harm.
22	* PoliticallyIncorrectHero: He really hates the "gatdam animal people" of Cesspool X and treats them with pure disgust.
23	[[/folder]]
24
25	[[folder:Hoopz Barkley]]
26	!!Hoopz Barkley
27	The son of Charles and Maureen. When he was born he was in the form of a b-ball. Only known other survivor of the chaos dunk.
28	----
29	* AerithAndBob: In a game where most people tend to have regular names, Hoopz stands out quite a bit. What's even more weird is he was named after Charles Barkley's grandfather.
30	* TheChosenOne: But whatever it is he was chosen to do, he doesn't do it in this game. At the very least, he seems to be completely immune to the powers of Cuchulainn.
31	* GenreSavvy: Hoopz is an experienced enough gamer that he immediately knows what to do when the party encounters some well-worn vidcon trope.
32	* ThePollyanna: Hoopz is a cheerful and naive young man with an optimistic outlook on life, in contrast to his father's world-wary cynicism.
33	* TheGunslinger: Or more precisely, Gun'sbraster.
34	* IKnowMortalKombat: Hoopz can do a ton of things based on the fact that he knows about "vidcons", to which Barkley repeatedly shows his pride.
35	-->"Vidcons, dad."
36	* ImprobableInfantSurvival: [[spoiler:Hoopz was the sole survivor of the first Chaos Dunk.]]
37	[[/folder]]
38
39	[[folder:Ultimate Hellbane/Balthios James]]
40	!!Ultimate Hellbane/Balthios James
41	The octoroon great-grandson of Lebron James. He is also the terrorist known as Ultimate Hellbane, he possesses zaubers that B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. wanted, now he secretly fights against B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
42	----
43	* AerithAndBob: In a game where most people tend to have regular names, Balthios stands out quite a bit.
44	* ImpossiblyCoolWeapon: [[GratuitousGerman Zaubers are not a typo for sabers]]! It's never explained what a zauber really is, but if we go by the game and the sprites, it's a CoolSword that gives you ElementalPowers, [[RuleOfFunny even snail powers!]]
45	* MagicKnight: He's the team mage who fights with magic swords.
46	* OurWerebeastsAreDifferent: In an optional scene, Balthios reveals that he's a Wereduergar, who transforms into a raging Duergar every Columbus Day.
47	* YourTerroristsAreOurFreedomFighters: He's branded a terrorist by the media.
48	[[/folder]]
49
50	[[folder:Vinceborg]]
51	!!Vinceborg
52	Formerly B-Ball player Vince Carter, he was made into a cyborg by B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
53	----
54	* CrutchCharacter: Don't get too used to Vinceborg's uncanny ability to kill entire waves of enemies with his {{Eye Beam}}s.
55	* FaceHeelTurn: He eventually turns on the party after he remembers his original goal of killing Hoopz.
56	* {{Cyborg}}: He was rebuilt with such things as {{Eye Beam}}s
57	* RedemptionEqualsDeath: [[spoiler:He kills himself in a HeelFaceDoorSlam invoked by his current employers, if not himself.]]
58	[[/folder]]
59
60	[[folder:Cyberdwarf]]
61	!!Cyberdwarf
62	A dwarf from space who had his skin burned off and was given skin grafts from b-balls.
63	----
64	* BareFistedMonk: Cyberdwarf fights with his bare hands and equips muscles as his weapons.
65	* CombatMedic: His spells are all healing spells and can debuff enemies with his combos.
66	* NoTimeToExplain: The Cyberdwarf says this about taking Hoopz to the church. However, before doing that you do have time to complete an unrelated dungeon found in the back of his home.
67	* WrestlerInAllOfUs: He can perform a suplex as one of his attacks.
68	[[/folder]]
69
70	[[folder:Michael Jordan]]
71	!!Michael Jordan
72	Once a basketball star and former hero of the Space Jam. After the chaos dunk he is now the head of the B-Ball removal department
73	----
74	* DanceBattler: Since his battle sprite is taken from Videogame/MichaelJacksonsMoonwalker, he fights using Michael Jackson moves.
75	* DuelBoss: Barkley fights him by himself in their final encounter.
76	* FallenHero: He went from the former savior of B-Ball against the Monstars to eradicating all B-Ball players.
77	* TheGunslinger: He somehow fires guns with his feet.
78	* TheHeavy: Michael Jordan is the primary antagonist for most of the game, but he is not the true villain.
79	* WouldHurtAChild: Has no problem sending his minions after Hoopz and personally [[spoiler:gives him Type II Diabetes, which is a quick-acting death sentence in the game's story.]]
80	[[/folder]]
81
82	[[folder:Final boss (spoilers)]]
83	!!Shadow Barkley
84	Shadow Barkley is the left over essence Charles Barkley from Film/SpaceJam and the leader of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
85	----
86	* BeastWithAHumanFace: His second form is a demonic T. rex with Charles Barkley's head.
87	* BlueAndOrangeMorality: He wants to destroy the world so he can take b-ball to the next level.
88	* EnemyWithout: He is the dark part of Barkley's personality given physical form.
89	* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: As a parody of RPG villains, it appears from absolutely nowhere.
90	* OneHitKill: It is capable of using the Verboten Slam to kill your party members in a single hit.
91	* OneWingedAngel: After you defeat its initial form, it turns into [[spoiler:T-Rex Barkley]].
92	* ShockAndAwe: His first form's Shadow Lightning attack randomly blasts the party with bolts of black lightning.
93	* TheSocialDarwinist: He wants to destroy the world because he is the Post-human and everyone else is merely human, so he can take b-ball to the next level.
94	* WeCanRuleTogether: Attempted by him in the finale. Doing so causes a NonStandardGameOver.

Context Characters / BarkleyShutUpAndJamGaiden