History Quotes / AlternativeCharacterInterpretation

-->-- '''Rob Balder''', ''Still Annoyed''

->She'd outpester any pest\\

She's a girl!

-->-- '''Molly,''' ''Wait Till Helen Comes: A Ghost Story''

-->--'''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Twilight Sparkle]]''', ''[[AbridgedSeries My Little Pony]] [[WebVideo/MyLittlePonyCamaraderieIsSupernatural Camaraderie is Supernatural]]'', "The Elements of Parody"

->...In any case, the only reason this stratagem ''[giving Persephone the pomegranate seeds]'' worked was because the seeds were so little that [[Myth/ClassicalMythology Persephone]] thought they wouldn’t count. …Or at least that was the excuse she gave her Mom. My money says she ate them because Hades had just finished explaining to her that if she stayed with him she could be undisputed Queen of one of the three realms of existence. And she — clever young divinity that she was — immediately realized how to finesse this situation so that she could, quite literally, have the best of both worlds. If she then claimed to the Olympians sent to fetch her home that “he pressured me into eating them”, well, they’d be predisposed to believe that anyway…)

-->--Website/TheOnion, ''Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades''

-->-- The blogger '''dduane''' [[http://dduane.tumblr.com/post/74399149579/something-thats-been-making-me-itch-all-day discussing]] the story of Persephone

-->-- Wiki/ThisVeryWiki, almost every AlternativeCharacterInterpretation entry

'''Lythero''': [="WAAAAAAht=] am I gonna do about this energy crisis?"\\

-->-- "[[https://youtu.be/G4I_Sy9JfCk Mario Kartastrophe 6 DELUXE]]"

-> Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteandtheRoadRunner It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic Coyote who spends every waking moment his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner]], who mocks him and laughs at him as he's repeatedly '''crushed''' and '''maimed'''! I hope you enjoy it!

->'''Chris''': Creator/MichaelRosenbaum as Lex was pretty great. Not just that he was believably sinister and actually had a pretty cool deathtrap, but that he was believably frustrated with everyone around him, especially Clark and Lionel. Like, at this point, all he wants to do is prove that Clark is the Blur, and then he'd totally be happy.\\
'''David''': And he's understandably annoyed with the fact that his “best friend” and dad continually lie to his face. I can completely understand why this kind of treatment would grow an inferiority complex.\\
'''Chris''': If you turn this show just slightly to the side, you’ve got the story a brilliant young businessman who was raised by a manipulative, lying psychopath who is using his resources to bring down the secret cabal that his father is colluding with in order to rule the world. I’m ''not even exaggerating.''
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and ''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-6-11-justice/ on]] ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' ("Justice")

->'''Barney:''' Hey, ''Film/TheKarateKid'''s a great movie. It's the story of a hopeful young karate enthusiast whose dreams and moxie take him all the way to the All-Valley Karate Championship. Course, sadly, he loses in the final round to that nerd kid, but he learns an important lesson about gracefully accepting defeat.\\

--->''The hell kind of plumber...?''
-->''I'm writing your union, tell you what.''
-->''I bet they'd love to know you're doing mushrooms,''
--->''And blowing up landmarks,''
--->''And setting the wildlife on fire.''
---->-- '''Rob Balder''', ''Still Annoyed''

-> [[TheDitz She'd outpester any pest]]\\
[[MotorMouth Drive a hornet from its nest]]\\
[[BeatThemAtTheirOwnGame She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl]]\\
[[TheHeart She is gentle,]] [[NiceGuy she is mild]] \\
[[CloudCuckooLander She's a riddle,]] [[WomanChild she's a child]]\\
[[AllBlueEntry She's a headache!\\
She's an angel!]]\\
[[DynamicCharacter She's a girl!]]

-> ''I wanted to find an escape too, but every word I'd heard confirmed my fear that [[SpoiledBrat Heather]] had somehow allied herself with a ghost. What I wasn't sure of was the danger -- was [[StringyHairedGhostGirl Helen]] as wicked as Heather made her out to be, or was she merely a lost child looking for someone to love her?''

->''"This was a world where orcs were used as target practice by elvish communities. The elves loved that shit. Sauron put a stop to that by offering all the underprivileged creatures a place in his non-race-exclusive army (the only nonsegregated force in Middle-Earth except for the Fellowship) with promises of their own country and a future. After what he did for the orcs and goblins, Sauron was just some towering mace-wielding {{folk hero}}."''

->'''Chris''': Creator/MichaelRosenbaum as Lex was pretty great. Not just that he was believably sinister and actually had a pretty cool deathtrap, but that he was [[OnlySaneMan believably frustrated with everyone around him]], especially Clark and Lionel. Like, at this point, all he wants to do is prove that Clark is the Blur, and [[ThrowTheDogABone then he’d totally be happy.]]\\
'''David''': And he’s understandably annoyed with the fact that his “best friend” and dad continually lie to his face. I can completely understand why this kind of treatment would [[FreudianExcuse grow an inferiority complex.]]\\

-->--'''Chris Sims''' and ''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-6-11-justice/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Justice")

->''"Applejack, with her [[OohMeAccentsSlipping lovably inconsistent accent and mannerisms]] represents the Element of: The Alternate Interpretation"''

-> ''[-You're an industrialist, trying to modernize a backward planet and raise up standards of living through the use of technology, for the common good. One day, some of your industrial robots are blown up by a sentient, supersonic blue hedgehog. That's scary as fuck. Now, said hedgehog has it in his head that you're a monster who's turning animals into robots and wants to take over the world and oppress it, in large part because of all the steroids, speed, colloidal silver, and other assorted shit he's been taking in massive quantities for the past decade. You decide to see if you can't reason with the guy, but for your troubles you get assaulted, and your ride gets trashed beyond recognition.\\
\\
So you decide to deal with this like you would with any other pest problems: You put out some traps, like spike pits, modify a couple of your robots with .22 rifles, etc. The way you'd deal with any rodent, really. Soon enough, the hedgehog gets himself impaled, and you're done. Or so you think. Soon after, despite having quite clearly been drained of his precious bodily fluids, he's back and trashing your robots again. Maybe the other one was some sort of decoy? No matter, you're taking this into your own hands. You modify your ride, mad max style, adding a couple of guns, some spikes, missile, slowly swinging giant balls, that kind of stuff. Then you roll. You meet the hedgehog and after a brief struggle where he manages to make one or two lucky hits on spots you haven't really bothered armoring, you make him into thin gruel. This time you're sure he's done for.\\
\\
How wrong you are. Soon after, he's back. You can't believe it. You try to kill him yourself once more, but this time he seems to know where to strike. He seems to know when to strike. He seems to know when you'll strike. Once you realize that, you try to change your attack patterns, but it's too late, he's done enough damage to blow up your vehicle, and you barely escape with your life. For the next few days, he follows you, destroying everything you throw at him, and it's obvious he won't stop until he gets you. You can't sleep. You watch as he destroys everything you've done to help people: one after another, chemical plants, oil refineries, amusement parks, all you've built, gets blown up by this satanic, unholy, immortal demon from the deepest pits of hell. When you do manage to take him out, he's back within hours.\\
\\
Eventually, as you're trying to escape to the one place where you think you're safe, space, he defeats one of your latest creations, and for the first time, you're face to face with him. There's no steel plate protecting you. There's no vertical distance. He's there, staring at you with those empty, demonic eyes.\\
\\
You run like you've never run before. [[RunOrDie You just fucking run]].-]''
-->--'''[=YeOldeButchere=]''', ''The Let's Play Archive'', explaining how Eggman can outrun Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog

->''"Kind of unrelated, but the fact that [[RebelLeader Ulfric]] has been compared to both UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler and William Wallace just goes to show what an awesome job Creator/{{Bethesda}} did of making a complex, realistic character."''\\
''"Or that the Skyrim fanbase consists of over-generalizing trogs with [[SmallReferencePools small reference pools]]."''

'''Cassandra''': Then [[KnightTemplar Meredith]] provoked the Circle. She was to blame... ''(for the Mage-Templar war)''\\
'''Varric''': Or [[ArtifactOfDoom that damned idol]] was. Or [[spoiler: [[WellIntentionedExtremist Anders]]]]. Take your pick.

->Added Mario: [[Main/CharacterCheck "It's-a me, Mario!"]]
-->--[[Website/TheOnion The Onion]], ''Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades''

->''The [[OurOrcsAreDifferent Orks]] are the pinnacle of creation. For them, the great struggle is won. They have evolved a society which knows no stress or angst. Who are we to judge them? We [[SpaceElves Eldar]] who have failed, or the Humans, on the road to ruin in their turn? And why? Because we sought answers to questions that an Ork wouldn't even bother to ask! We see a culture that is strong and despise it as crude.''