History Funny / ShelSilverstein

* "Sick" is about a girl who says she can't go to school because she's sick, then goes on to describe a LongList of things wrong with her. Ending with:
-->''I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?\\
What's that? What's that you say?\\
You say today is... Saturday?\\
G'bye, I'm going out to play!''
* "Helping" describes some people helping others, and some people "helping" others.
-->''And some kind of help is the kind of help\\
That helping's all about.\\
And some kind of help is the kind of help\\
We all could do without.''
* "The Loser", about a boy whose head fell off and, as any way of finding it were lost with the head (looking with eyes, listening with ears, or even thinking about it with his brain), he has no way of finding it.
-->''So I guess I'll sit down\\
On this rock\\
And rest for just a minute...''
:::In the illustration the "rock" is actually the boy's head.
* "The Battle" is gloriously anti-climactic.
-->Would you like to hear\\
Of the terrible night\\
When I bravely fought the--\\
No?\\
All right.

* "The Porky" (a poem about a porcupine):
-->''Oh who will wash the porky's ears,\\
And who will comb his tail,\\
And who will shine his long sharp quills\\
And manicure his nails?\\
Oh Willie may wash the porky's ears,\\
And Carole may comb his tail,\\
And Sidney may shine his long sharp quills,\\
And I'll go down for the mail....''

* "Carrots", which has an illustration of a guy with carrots stuck in his eyes:
-->''They say that carrots are good for your eyes,\\
They swear that they improve your sight,\\
But I'm seein' worse than I did last night--\\
You think maybe I ain't usin' 'em right?''
* "Gardener", a short poem about a very "unique" gardener.
-->''We gave you a chance\\
To water the plants\\
We didn't mean that way--\\
[[{{Cloudcuckoolander}}Now zip up your pants]]''

Now zip up your pants''

* "The Loser", about a boy who's head fell off and, as any way of finding it were lost with the head (looking with eyes, listening with ears, or even thinking about it with brain), he has no way of finding it
-->''So I guess I'll just sit down on this rock\\
and rest for a minute''\\
[[spoiler: in the illustration The "rock" is actually the boy's head]].

* "The Loser", about a boy who's head fell off and without all of his senses, he has no way of finding it so...

Now zip up your pants''

We didn't mean that way-\\

You think maybe I ain't usin' 'em right?''

* "Sick" is about a girl who says she can't go to school because she's sick, then goes on to describe a long list of things wrong with her. Ending with:

We all could do without.''

G'bye, I'm going out to play!''

-->''I have a hangnail, and my heart is...\\
What? What's that? What's that you say?\\

And I'll go down for the mail....''

* "The Porky" (a poem about a porcupine)

* "The Porky" (about a porcupine)
-->Oh who will wash the porky's ears,\\

And I'll go down for the mail....