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The Chronicles of Old Guy
- A human once asked what it was like for a cybertank to control a humanoid proxy drone (which Old Guy notes they all have almost a fetishistic fondness in creating). He retorts by asking her what it's like to drive a car.
- In trying to hail Megazillus, Old Guy eventually resorts to using hull-mounted speakers and local galactic diplomatic speak.Old Guy: Hey you there, could you stop destroying that thing? Please?
- Arguing with a simulation of one of his favorite pilots, he initially designates the giant lizard BAL1, or Big Angry Lizard. The simulation suggests "Megazillus" which breathed radiation, defended Munich and was friend to all children. Old Guy protests, saying BAL1 is green, shoots plasma breath, and its hide is rocky, whereas Megazillus had laser beam eyes, a normal reptilian hide, and dorsal spikes.
- Rock Dancer, a Magma-class and therefore notably massive and thus slow, spends his time flying off planetoids and asteroids via ramps thanks to their extremely low escape velocities, and always broadcasts "Wheeeee!!!!!".
- The Loki-class that was the first to notice all the humans were gone is named "Too Clever".
- Old Guy's description of the affair is even better.
It's easy to notice the start of a thunderstorm. But if the rain slowly tapers off, it's all too common to miss the end, until you suddenly say to yourself, "Hey! It's stopped raining! When did that happen?" - Old Guy notes that "the enemy of my enemy" is still my enemy 56.3% of the time. Except when Megazillus decides to help, in which case its 56.29999999% of the time.
- There's a civilization of sentient Office Copiers.
- "It is tradition that anyone arguing for a war has to participate... It is only fair. It is also tradition that anyone arguing against the war has to participate as well, as punishment for not doing a good enough job of talking us out of it."
- In assaulting a planet, a squad of Cybertanks including Old Guy himself agreed to wear bumper stickers. Then they agreed to have a competition and wouldn't reveal it during their transit and would vote who had the best once they actually could see them when they landed.
- They include "I don't break for Amok" (hostile alien faction), "Obama 2012". Double-Wide, being the largest there, "CAUTION: WIDE TURNS. If you see this vehicle behaving in an unsafe manner, please call 1-800-435-8842."
- The Office Copier Military Observer as a species known for being literal has a sticker that says "Lower Left Rear Corner" and wins the competition.
Space Battleship Scharnhorst and the Library of Doom
