We could simply say, “take a sip every time something goes wrong”, but that’s not very creative (or safe).
Also, please exercise caution when trying this during a live stage production.
Any Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society production
- Take a sip if Chris' opening speech is cut off by applause.
- Take a sip if the scenery falls down.
- Take two sips if an actor is crushed.
- Take a sip if something going wrong causes a line to seem ironic or apropos.
- Take a sip every time an upcoming plot point is spoiled.
- Take a sip every time Max grins at the audience.
- Take a sip whenever someone reads a stage direction as a line.
- Take a sip whenever an actor thinks that something said to them during the production is their next line.
- Take a sip whenever a character who's supposed to be dead moves on their own for any reason that's not part of the in-universe script.
- Take two sips whenever the wrong light or sound cue is played.
- Take a sip whenever someone is stuck in the scenery.
- Take a sip whenever a vehicle falls apart.
- Take a sip whenever the stage lights or the boom mic are visible.
- Altered rule for stage productions: take a sip whenever a lighting truss falls loose or a light falls off the rig.
- Take a gulp if an actor is incapacitated (An Upstanding Member… is exempt from this rule).
- Take another gulp if said actor is then covered by an emergency understudy.
- Take two sips whenever Robert plugs one of his books.
- Take a mouthful whenever at least one actor ends up naked or in their underwear.
- Take a sip if someone flubs their line.
- Make it a mouthful if the flub makes the line unintentionally sexual.
- Take a gulp if something other than the intended pyrotechnics explodes or catches fire.
- Take one sip if Trevor appears on stage or camera in stagehand uniform. (Robert’s acting masterclass and A Talented Woman Awakens are both exempt from this rule).
- Take two sips if at least one stagehand other than Trevor is visible.
- Take a gulp if Chris gets into an argument with the audience.
The Play That Goes Wrong
- Take a sip whenever the actress playing Florence takes a pill.
- Take a sip whenever someone takes a swig of white spirit.
- Take a sip whenever somebody picks up the wrong prop.
- Take a gulp every time Annie has to act as the mantelpiece.
- Take a sip whenever an actor uses the elevator.
- Take two sips if the elevator malfunctions with them in it.
Peter Pan
- Take a sip every time someone throws fairy dust.
- Take two if it's Francis or David Suchet throwing it.
- Take a sip every time the opening scene freezes for the narration.
- Take two sips every time Chris unfreezes the scene before David Suchet's narration is finished.
- Take a sip every time Dennis' headset crackles.
- Take two if he says something picked up from a different studio.
- Take a sip every time a taxi horn is heard.
- Take a sip every time part of the bed falls down.
- Take two if it happens anywhere other than the opening scene.
- Take a sip every time there's Audience Participation.
- Take two sips if Chris gets angry at it.
- Take a sip whenever a flying actor bangs into the scenery.
- Take a sip every time Annie enters playing a different character.
- Take two if she fails to cover up a change of costume.
- Take a mouthful when a knocked out actor comes back with regained consciousness.
- Take a sip every time Lucy tries and fails to start a line.
- Take a gulp when Lucy takes over the narration.
- Take a sip every time Lucy gets hurt.
- Take a sip every time Chris is seen in a different location in the video recording.
- Take a gulp whenever the role of Peter changes actor.
- Take a sip every time the side of one of Dennis' cue cards ends on something awkward.
- Take a sip whenever someone gets hit by the loose table plank.
- Take a sip on every "I believe in fairies".
- Finish your drink when David Suchet hastily impersonates Hercule Poirot.
- Take a mouthful whenever the camera cuts to a different BBC set.
- Take a sip whenever Sandra kisses someone.
- Take two if she kisses Max.
- Take a drink every time you spot the end credits malfunctioning.
A Christmas Carol
- Take a sip for every exterior miniature shot.
- Take two if Trevor or his pizza accidentally show up in it.
- Take a sip every time Trevor fails to correct the titles.
- Take a sip whenever Robert tries to intrude on the scene.
- Take two whenever Robert says, "incapacitated".
- Take a sip every time Dennis is obviously reading his lines off somewhere.
- Take two sips if he reads it backwards.
- Take a sip every time Annie's hand is stuck to something.
- Take a sip whenever Jonathan is dragged by his chain.
- Take a sip when the greenscreen changes to the wrong thing.
- Take a sip every time Robert hits Chris with something while hidden by the greenscreen.
- Take a sip every time the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come bangs his head on something.
From The Goes Wrong Show:
Any episode
- Take a sip when Chris introduces himself by overpronouncing the word, “Director”.
- Take a sip when the play is introduced with, “The actors are prepared, the stage is set.”
The Spirit of Christmas
- During Vanessa’s musical number, take a sip every time the music changes key.
- Take a sip every time Jonathan delivers a line while stuck in the fireplace.
- Take two if it’s related to him being in pain.
- Take three when he knocks a brick out and calls for help.
- Take a sip every time Robert addresses the audience.
- Take a sip whenever Robert takes a nip of sherry.
- (HARD DIFFICULTY VARIANT) Take a drink whenever Robert takes a drink on camera.
- Take a sip every time Robert says, “This is not your best work, Chris.”
- Take a sip every time Robert grabs hold of a bottle of alcohol.
- Take two sips if someone tries to take it away.
- Take three sips if someone succeeds in taking it away.
- Take a sip whenever Sandra has to do something that requires Jonathan.
- Take a sip every time Robert’s drunk ad libbing gets needlessly emotional.
- Finish your drink when Dennis finally gets his line.
The Pilot (not the pilot)
- Take a sip every time Chris says the word “pilot” during his introduction to the audience.
- Take a sip if you spot a historical inaccuracy which is clearly the fault of the script.
- Take a mouthful whenever "(not the pilot episode)" appears on screen.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis pops his head up from the printer.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis makes printer noises.
- Take two if he says "out of paper” or “low on ink”
- Take a gulp when Dennis gets up to exit the stage.
- Take a sip every time Dennis produces a telegram.
- Take a sip if it’s the wrong telegram.
- Take two if he had to hand write it.
- Take a sip every time something gets passed across the line during the Split-Screen Phone Call.
- Take a gulp when the split-screen line falls down.
- Take a sip every time Hitler or Churchill appear on camera too early.
- Take a sip whenever Vanessa tries to sound foreign by quoting song lyrics.
- Take a sip every time Chris' left leg comes loose.
- Take a sip every time the effect of the plane flying by the window screws up.
- Take a sip every time Annie uses perspective tricks to give herself Max's muscular body.
- Take two sips when Max's face is accidentally revealed.
- Take a gulp every time someone breaks character to draw a parallel between Chris and Hitler.
- Take a sip every time Max removes a pair of shades or a pilot hat.
- Take a sip every time the polygraph goes off.
- Take a sip whenever Max accidentally unplugs the desk lamp.
A Trial To Watch
- Take a sip every time the gavel sound effect goes off.
- Take a sip whenever someone bangs their head into the courtroom ceiling.
- Take a sip whenever the foreground sets get mixed up.
- Take a sip every few times Dennis speeds up Vanessa’s treadmill.
- Take a sip whenever Max tries and fails to activate his blood pack.
- Take two when it finally does go off.
- Take a sip whenever an actor has to say an echo out loud for a scene transition.
- Take two sips if the scene transition is cued in (or not) with "living room".
The Lodge
- Take a sip every time a line padded with extra adjectives is uttered.
- Take a sip whenever thunder is heard.
- Take two sips whenever the weather is ham-handedly replicated by a stagehand.
- Take two sips if the weather effect hits Vanessa.
- Take a sip every time someone finds out the hard way that the study door leads to a drop.
- Take a gulp whenever the kitchen is required.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis says “GET OUT!” too early.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis exits.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis re-enters.
- Take a sip when Dennis thinks his line is “GET IN!”
- Take a sip every time the stairlift malfunctions.
- Take a sip every time Robert drops the title.
- Take two sips if the accompanying musical sting comes too late or is wrong.
- Take a sip whenever Robert's Evil Laugh gets even more frantic.
- Take a sip whenever the balloon under Vanessa’s dress bursts.
- Take a gulp when Sandra's ghostly apparitions are ruined by her or the effect representing her being visible when the lights go up.
- Take a sip every time Sandra messes up her lines while possessing Vanessa.
- Finish your drink when Sandra screws up the Jump Scare at the end and bangs into the camera.
Harper's Locket
- Take a sip every time the wrong croquet ball starts moving.
- Take a sip every time someone says the word “frog”.
- Take a sip every time the piano starts playing.
- Finish your drink when the cat is thrown into the piano.
- Finish your drink again when the cat escapes at the end.
- Take a sip whenever Jonathan can't get through a door.
- Take two sips whenever Jonathan forgoes a door and smashes through a window.
- Finish your drink when he eventually successfully gets through a door (and steps on a croquet mallet which whacks him in the crotch).
- Take a sip every time the squib in Chris' jacket goes off.
- Take two sips when it happens after he’s actually been shot dead.
- Take a sip every time Robert exaggerates his Incurable Cough of Death.
- Take a sip whenever the vacuum cleaner in Dennis' horse costume is turned on.
- Take two sips if it ends up stuck to Max’s crotch.
- Take a gulp every time incongruous stock footage of a man riding a horse is shown.
- Take a sip every time Max takes the one pound note from Chris in spite of the script saying he should refuse it at first.
- Take a sip every time Robert tries to get the one pound note from Max and instead finds something different.
- Take a sip every time the ceiling fan gets lower.
- Take a sip every time Trevor’s bare buttocks are in the shot.
90 Degrees
- Take a sip whenever someone gets hit by an object falling in either the study or the hospital room.
- Take a sip every time the sound team fails to censor Dennis' swearing.
- Take a gulp when they attempt to censor the contextually-innocuous word, "Craps".
- Take a sip whenever Robert tries to give Ruffles an inner monologue.
- Take another sip if Chris calls him out.
- Finish your drink when Annie's fake bosoms fall out.
- Take a sip every time Vanessa asks Dennis to give her a beer.
- Take two sips when Vanessa specifically asks for the "lager beer".
The Nativity
- Take a sip every time the scenery turns the page.
- Take two sips if the scenery gets stuck or someone gets trapped.
- Finish your drink when Trevor brings the scenery down on everyone on stage.
- Begrudgingly take a shot of something strong every time the actors shoehorn in a Brookshaw Corporate Finance advert.
- Take another shot if it’s a Pun on the wise men’s gifts.
- Take a mouthful every time the actors start singing the cut "For Unto Us A Child Is Born" number.
- Take a sip whenever Robert gets startled or disappointed by the pyrotechnics.
- Take two when he’s finally satisfied with them.
- Take a sip whenever Robert takes a fall.
- Take two sips when Robert nearly takes a fall, such as the ladder giving way underneath him.
- Take a sip whenever Robert’s wings get snagged in the scenery.
- Take a sip whenever the scenery has Trevor’s writing on it.
- Take a sip if the donkey has two heads.
- Take a sip if the donkey has two arses.
- Take a sip every time Robert says “Halo” or “Higher”.
- Take another sip every time the Shepherds respond with “Hello” or “Hiya”.
- Take a sip every time “We Three Kings” plays.
- Take a sip every time the camera cuts to Jonathan being spun around on King Herod’s throne.
- Take a sip whenever Herod’s wife makes some vocalisation on the wise men’s gifts.
- Take a gulp when she makes the mistake of trying to eat the myrrh.
- Take a sip every time “O Little Town of Bethlehem” changes tune.
- Take a sip every time Dennis mistakenly says that there’s room at the inn.
- Take a mouthful when Dennis recycles the “GET OUT!” line from The Lodge.
- Finish your drink and get up whenever the fire alarm goes off.
- Take a sip when it briefly goes off a third time during Chris’ narration.
- Take a sip every time Chris expects there to be shepherds, only to be given more wise men.
Summer Once Again
- Take a sip whenever Robert flubs a word while addressing the audience.
- Take a sip every time Robert blows his whistle.
- Take a sip whenever something is missing during the opening.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis says the word “Hard”.
- Take a sip every time Chris looks at the piece of paper with his Manure Boy lines written on it.
- Take a sip every time someone says “goulashes” or “galoshes”.
- Take two sips if it isn’t Annie.
- Take a mouthful every time Robert calls for the play to be restarted.
- Take a sip every time Sandra’s face is given a closeup with dramatic music.
- Take another sip if a fan screws it up.
- Take a sip every time Jonathan doesn’t get to play one of his roles.
- Take two if it’s the doctor.
- Force a shot of something strong down every time Dennis is forced to eat or drink something.
- Force two shots down if Dennis is eating a boot.
- Take a sip every time Dennis reads something incriminating from Robert’s diary notes.
- Take two sips if the diary notes are in the prop bible.
- Take a sip every time Vanessa is hit in the face.
- Take a sip every time confetti is fired off.
- Take two sips if it startles Robert.
- Take a sip whenever a car horn is heard.
- Take two sips when it comes up three pages early.
- Take a sip every time typhoid is mentioned.
- Take a sip whenever a character dies.
- Take a sip whenever the season changes.
- Take a sip every time a move is made during Robert and Max’s high speed game of chess.
The Most Lamentable…
- Take a sip every time Robert screws with Sandra’s chorus by hitting the gong.
- Take two every time Sandra tries and fails to stop him.
- Take a mouthful every time Sandra trips over a rhyme.
- Take a sip whenever Sandra is slow to turn to whichever camera she’s meant to be delivering the chorus to.
- Take a sip every time the portcullis mechanism screws up.
- Take a sip every time Robert refers to himself as “The Relevant Trumpeter”.
- Take a sip if Robert appears in the background of a scene unannounced.
- Take two sips if he tunelessly blows into the trumpet to mess with people.
- Take two sips if Chris stops Robert's performance.
- Take a sip every time Robert refers to Chris’ character as “Dick”.
- Take a sip every time Max hams up one of his lines to mess with Chris’ responses.
- Take a sip every time one of Jonathan’s lines is rendered inaudible by his suit of armour
- Take two if it is audible.
- Take a sip every time Dennis’ improvised song says “goose”, “pork”, “ham” or “sausage”.
- Take a sip every time Trevor enters in anachronistic-looking high-vis gear.
- Take a gulp every time Trevor’s codpiece falls open.
- Take a sip whenever Dennis finds a different way of misunderstanding what an aside is.
- Take a sip every time something gets magnetically stuck to Jonathan’s armour.
- Take a gulp if it’s Robert’s trumpet.
- Take a sip when Sandra realises that a character can’t be crowned king because the actor got knocked out.
- Take two sips when she gets rid of Dennis.
- Finish your drink when The Relevant Trumpeter is crowned king.
There Is No Escape
- Take a sip every time a part of Chris’ cell falls down.
- Take a sip every time the pre-recorded narration is wrong.
- Take two sips if the narration says, “We shook hands. I knew we were gonna be good friends”.
- Take a mouthful whenever Robert calls for “Lights out” and gets no response.
- Finish your drink when the lights do go out after, “One more step and I’ll have McKenzie punch your lights out.”
- Take a sip every time Max screws around with his “jaw”.
- Take a sip whenever the scenery transition either messes up or brings in the wrong scene.
- Take two sips if a scenery malfunction involves the soda machines.
- Take a sip every time a spoon is used or mentioned instead of a knife.
- Take a sip whenever Robert has to work around the misplaced office scenery by jumping.
- Take a sip whenever Sandra speaks with a harmonica stuck in her throat.
- Take a sip whenever Annie wrecks the balloons in her Mick costume.
- Take a sip whenever Robert says the word “twist”.
- Take two sips if Chris calls him out on it not being a twist.
- Take a gulp when Robert enters as “Timmy”.
- Take a sip every time someone namedrops Star Wars.
- Take a sip whenever Robert reminds Lucy of a past story to make her cry.
- Finish your drink when it backfires on him.
- Take a sip every time Jonathan tilts the car/phone booth.
The Cornley Drama Festival Part 1
- Take a gulp when Chris apologises for the sign.
- Take a gulp whenever someone combats their stage fright by running at the audience screaming.
- Take a sip whenever Robert masks a sub-actor.
- Take two sips when Chris and Robert start trying to mask each other.
- Robert’s acting masterclass:
- Take a sip whenever anyone says a variation on, “To be or not to be” (including Robert’s popup book).
- Take a sip every time Robert moves Chris down in the ranking.
- Take a sip whenever Sandra over-raises the pitch of the end of her line as a question.
- Take a mouthful whenever Chris gets hit with tear gas.
- Max's "Kitchen Sink" Drama:
- Take a sip every time the word "plate" or "sponge" is said.
- Take two when Dennis says "bowel".
- Take a gulp when Sandra enters for the "Soap Opera" in the next act.
- Take a sip every time the word "plate" or "sponge" is said.
- Vanessa’s improv class:
- Take a sip every time Vanessa is startled or clearly nervous.
- Take a sip whenever an audience member calls out the word, “Hull”.
- Take a sip whenever Vanessa says, “lusty”.
- Take a sip when Max doesn’t continue the alphabet during the alphabet game.
- Take two sips when Chris misses the letter “I”.
- Finish your drink when Max finishes the alphabet game with “Zoo”.
- Take a sip whenever Chris says “Speculum”.
- La Nuit de la Chenille:
- Take a sip whenever someone trips, gets tangled up or bumps into something.
- Take two sips if the boom mic or Chris’ flute is involved.
- Take a sip every time Dennis goes onstage.
- Take a sip every time Dennis squats.
- Take two sips if Trevor is running away from Dennis.
- Take two sips every time the shot shows Dennis walking in circles somewhere in the background.
- Finish your drink when Robert shoots Chris.
- Take a sip whenever someone trips, gets tangled up or bumps into something.
The Cornley Drama Festival Part 2
- Take a gulp when Chris apologises for the sign.
- Take a sip whenever horse tranquillisers are brought up.
- Take two sips every time Dennis says the word “Incompetent”.
- Finish your drink during the curtain call for Toothpaste, £1.69.
- Take a sip every time at least one Censor Box is on screen.
- Take two sips every time a stagehand is seen or heard dealing with the horse (Take one if it’s Trevor).
- A Talented Woman Awakens:
- Take two sips whenever Annie chimes in with incidental music.
- Take a mouthful when Sandra intensely describes the meal in detail like an M&S ad voiceover.
- Take a sip every time a line calls Sandra talented.
- Take a gulp every time the play is interrupted by Dennis doing something noisy.
- Take a sip every time Trevor fires the gun.
- Take a sip every time Dennis’ attempt at spelling “Incompetent” has him say the letter “E”, “T” or “N” (choose only one letter to use this rule with, though).
- After his table collapses, take a sip every time Trevor makes the wrong sound effect.
- An Upstanding Member in a Tight Place in the Back Office:
- Take a sip whenever Annie turns to the camera and says, “What is she like?”
- Take a sip every time a comedic sound effect occurs.
- Take two sips if the comedic sound effect isn’t a Rimshot.
- Take a sip every time someone’s trousers get blown off.
- Take two sips every time someone’s trousers fail to get blown off.
- Take three sips every time someone intentionally rips their clothes off (Annie’s trousers don’t count for this rule).
- Take a sip every time Vanessa messes up a Double Entendre.
- Take two sips when Norman Nord, the nudist lord, enters.
- Take a mouthful (ba-dum, tss) every time Robert finishes a lengthily-censored rant with an Orphaned Punchline.
- Take a sip every time a slide-whistle and smooth jazz is heard after someone takes the horse tranquilliser.
- Jonathan’s Ensemble Piece:
- Take a sip when Jonathan screws up a performance piece.
- Take a preemptive sip when it looks like he’s doing reasonably well before screwing up a performance piece.
- Take a sip whenever the chorus to “We Are The Ensemble” comes up.
- Take a gulp when the sign falls down.
- Finish your drink on the Piano Drop.
- Take a sip when Jonathan screws up a performance piece.