Follow TV Tropes
While the basic idea isn't bad and I welcome a chance for Erasa to get more of the spotlight I feel the author could have done more with it. The writing is grammatically okay, a plus for a fanfic, but very sparse with everything suffering from this foggy vagueness and lack of description. Which only makes the time this doesn't happen, such as describing Erasa's room, stand out more. Gohan himself comes across as something of a bland, generic male lead without any of his goofy charm like a lot of fics which try to emulate "badass" SS 2 Gohan. Erasa also doesn't feel like a real character and more like an idealized "perfect Girlfriend". And on the whole how their relationship is portrayed reminds me a lot of Sam Mason's and Danny Phantom's. In that it presented as such a forgone conclusion the story doesn't seem interested in really developing it. The two are virtually lovebirds from the moment they meet each other.
There are also some other clunky aspects. The first chapter is a very labored meet cute that could have been streamlined better in my opinion. And in another chapter the story seems to change its mind on if Gohan hasn't visited Orange City in years or only months. And there is a blatant double standard where Gohan notices and reacts negatively to Videl following him around but Erasa's similar behavior, even before he realizes he met her before, is treated as endearing.
Community Showcase More