Fanfic Great, but wordy
First off—I love this. The idea is so well-executed and it's just plain awesome with cheese. I love everything about it—everything except that.... ....it could stand to be less verbose. The chapters are insanely long. I can read the 5th harry potter book in 8 hours, but it had chapter breaks where I knew where I left off. This is so wordy I wanted to stop mid-chapter and I often lost my place mid-page and had to backtrack. The code names were a bit of an issue. Yes, the author was nice enough to post them at the start few every chapter, but the chapters are so long that you have to scroll a LOT to get back to the top and be reminded who's who (which you have to do whenever someone who's not in Hakumei has the POV), which was one of the above reasons I lost my place a lot. Overall, it's amazing, but I recommend setting aside blocks of time to read it and writing the code-names down the a card or something so you don't have to scroll so much. Also, if you need to leave your computer for even a second find a way to get right back where you were or you'll have to re-read several paragraphs to find it again. Again, amazing, but a little too wall-of-text sometimes.
Fanfic From comments
- Comments: There are a lot of Danzo-as-Hokage fics out there, but this one takes place in part one, before the main Naruto story begins. What really gets you into it is the character development. It also shows how hard it is for kids to survive without parents, which some fics forget to mention. The author also manages to save some fan favorite characters, Haku and Kimmimaro in some cute ways.
- Jomlos: HECK, the Character Development alone worth to be read. For one, Sakura AIN'T a Fan Girl in this story, and things are much crazier, heartwarming, yet can be more intriguing at different scenes. Also, Itachi is genuine likable brother and Zabuza is a sympathetic so-unfunny-its-funny psycho blood knight. Pretty good, very recommended, Wiki Magic please elaborate!
- REV 6 Pilot: On my view, the author tramples over several interesting parts and just about throws the character development on the reader's face. It feels too forced to be enjoyable.
- USA Bobcat: I enjoyed it, but Your Mileage May Vary
FanFic What Almost Happened (and Executed Brilliantly)
I'm not the biggest Naruto fan, having dropped the series after the conclusion of the Sai and Sasuke Arc due to the fact that I knew that the series would revolve around Sasuke and Naruto and only them and so far I'm right. I have poked around some of the fanfiction archives of Naruto to see if there is anything interesting... and the result was this.
All I can say about this is: Oh My God
This story shows how one thing could cause a domino effect on everything; I know that Danzo was going to be an asshole when I saw him but man killing the Third Hokage in cold blood and at a playground no less. I did keep tabs on the series' plot using the Naruto Wiki to fill in any gaps that showed up, and it's a good thing I did caus' taking into consideration how far Konoha falls and gets turned into a ruinous police state type of dystopia it helps. The reason for it would have to be the fact that in canon Danzo gets killed by Sasuke before he could get his hands on the office of Hokage, and this world shows what WOULD happen if he had the position.
Now something that does help the story would have to be the characters, the Hakumei itself consisting of (original) Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata, Neji, and Sai who all witness Danzo killing the Third Hokage. Another thing that helps this story is the fact that in his final moments Sarutobi's sacrifice doesn't go in vain, he announces Naruto as his successor and he gives the group a punch of Scrolls containing the village's secrets shows how much he trusted Naruto, goddamn this old man still rocks.
As time moved on the main cast gained Gaara (before his uncle turned him pyscho), Haku (before Zabuza found him), and even my favorite one of the Sound Five Kimimaro (literally BEFORE his Clan decided to go out for blood). What adds to things is that they fall under the care of Tsunade and Jiraiya and Hiashi in the beginning actually cares for both Hinata and Neji and he kind of has a good reason for banishing them both from the Hyuga clan... even though it's wrong.
Ending Thoughts: I could go on and on about how much I enjoy this fanfiction story, but the main gist of it is that it shows things that the manga needs, a strong and centered cast of characters, a straight and untwisted/misguided storyline, and giving people their chance in the spotlight.
FINAL SCORE: A+, IT'S BETTER THEN CANON! BELIEVE IT!