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05/27/2018 20:50:26 •••

Pearls Before Swine

Disclaimer: I am sorry if this offends anyone who likes Twilight, but you're allowed to express your opinions, and so am I.

I used to enjoy Twilight. I don't remember why. Maybe I thought it was romantic or entertaining or something. Now, I can't stand the books or movies, and i haven't visited the fandom since Fifty Shades of Grey. *shudders* I could rant about all the reasons this entire series is just angst piled on top of barely any research (West coast of BRAZIL—WTF?! I spent an hour checking and double-checking the facts of a FANFICTION I once wrote) and shoddy writing, but I'd just be saying the exact same things that have been said by everyone else again and again. And all my hate, all your hate, all ANYONE'S hate is going to do is make the Twihards think of us as whiners or snobs. This series made Stephanie Meyer millions, and we're not going to change that. Still, what does that say about the taste of the public?

I would love to be an author—a real, published author. I'd love to make money, obviously, but I also really want people to like my books. I want to give them an incredible writing experience, with flawless grammar, believable characters, an interesting plot completely devoid of Fridge Logic. And, being a competent writer, I think I can manage that. But it's happy thoughts like those that make me remember Twilight. Then I start thinking, "What's the point? As long as there's forbidden romance and crap tons of angst, I can shit out anything and get rich." I mean Twilight has more fans than Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones. Please, Twihards, if any one of you enjoys Twilight as a STORY and its characters as PEOPLE and not just abs, please explain your reasoning to me so I don't lose faith in all humanity. Thank you.

11/26/2012 00:00:00

It's like this review came straight out of my own soul. I feel exactly the same on basically all counts (minus the fanfic part, because I personally haven't written any), but I am an aspiring author myself who once loved Twilight for...some reason. My second readings of the books opened my eyes.

11/26/2012 00:00:00

Good luck on your writing, good sir. You've got the right goal, unlike Meyer.

11/26/2012 00:00:00

Hear, hear! You must have looked into my soul with this one! I also am a compulsive fact-checker, even in my smaller stories, so that whole line about Brazil made me want to hide in a corner and sob. I also hope someday to offer up my writing for myself and others to enjoy. Good luck on all of your writing endeavors :)

11/27/2012 00:00:00

Implying Meyer didn't want to give her readers an "incredibly reading experience".

And no, just writing "forbidden romance and crap tons of angst" doesn't make you rich. If that was the case, a lot of otherwise bad authors would be rich. Not to mention crappy fanfic authors would write actual novels. xD

There is apparently something about Meyer's writing that quite a few of people like. I don't like her writing, but it's a bit arrogant to assume she only cared about getting rich.

03/09/2013 00:00:00

Um... kay4today, you do know crappy fanfic authors DO write actual novels? Case in point, Fifty Shades Of Grey.

03/09/2013 00:00:00

The "crappy" part is where I disagree. I mean, I totally do find it crappy, but there's something that people apparently like about it, so I can't call it crappy writing.

03/09/2013 00:00:00

Well, you CAN call it crappy writing. It's just that you can't claim that there's nothing irredeemable about it since there's some reason it's popular, as stupid of a reason it may be.

04/04/2013 00:00:00

Yeah, Twilight made a lot of money and is very popular, but how long will it LAST? That Valley of the Dolls book sold very well when it first came out too, and the writers of that made it bad ON PURPOSE to make a point. But how many people are fans of it now, or even remember it, vs. fans of Tolkien? Yeah, the public consumes a lot of schlock, but it tends not to stand the test of time. Whether it's music, books, film, or whatever else, the good stuff tends to become beloved icons and the bad stuff tends to be mostly forgotten, even if it was immensely popular. One thing you can do is stop spending your time hating it and stressing about it. The haters are doing more to keep this series alive and talked about than the fans. Personally, I don't care one way or another. It's schlock; it's bad, but it's not the worst thing ever. And it gave us some hilarious Rifftrax. I think that kinda makes it worth it right there.

04/05/2013 00:00:00

I think the 'crappy writing' part isn't about people not liking the writing style; I think it refers more to the fact that Meyer does not ascribe to things like "Show, don't tell" that makes her writing not as good as it could be.

04/05/2013 00:00:00

She doesn't do subtlety well either. My favourite part was where Bella was angsting over the love triangle and went down to the fridge and tried to push two magnets together and the more she forced them together the further they pushed away again. And then in case that wasn't being obvious enough she goes on to think about how that reminds her about something from her life about certain people in her love triangle...

It's a little hamfisted is what I'm saying. Besides you can definitely have crud writing whilst having something redeemable in there. And Movie Bob was right that there's a lot of creativity at least, whether it was good or not, no-one had repurposed vampire mythology quite like that for a long time (and I think the superpowers aspect would be legitimately cool in another context)

05/27/2018 00:00:00

Just wondering, why is this review called \"Pearls before swine\" when that expression is used to describe something GOOD that is offered to an audience too uncultured or dumb to recognise its worth? A better title might have been \"Slops before swine\".

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