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Reviews Film / The Cat In The Hat

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02/20/2018 13:25:00 •••

I wouldn't watch it here or there, I wouldn't watch it anywhere.

You know how everyone complains when an adaptation of something they like is made, and it sucks? They should really take comfort in knowing that no matter how bad it gets, it will never be as bad as The Cat in the Hat.

It's bad enough that it's an attempt to pad a 9 or 10 minute book into an hour and a half long film, meaning there's meaningless, padding everywhere, leaving the movie completely without any sort of plot, but this isn't a movie for kids. It's not.

This movie, based on the clean, wholesome work of the child friendly Dr. Seuss, is filled to the brim with nothing but grossout jokes and crass adult humor, and does it in such a way that not even the parents would find it funny. Mike Meyers is basically Austin Powers in a fursuit making the same kinds of jokes he made in those movies.

I understand that when you're making a movie for the kids, you need to sneak in some jokes that only the parents will get. The problem with this is that there is NOTHING BUT adult humor and the only kid-centric jokes are all toilet gags. The Cat has a Curse Cut Short at least three times, and this is supposed to be a DR. SEUSS movie.

Not even The Grinch, which really wasn't that bad with this, and was actually able to make the padding and adult humor work for it.

10/27/2015 00:00:00

I'm not quite sure who the movie was marketed to. It has too much adult stuff for kids and too much childish crap for the adults.

02/20/2018 00:00:00

Well, actually, as an adaptation of the novel, Starship Troopers is worse than this. This review seems less like an actual review and more like a mere rant. You also ignore that the movie takes place in then-present day. Of course they'd need to make it longer than 9-10 minutes because even back when it released, kids having nothing to do on a rainy day sounds preposterous with all the video games, movies, and websites available.

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