The fic has a cool enough concept that stresses the utmost importance of protecting the heroes' identities from Hawkmoth. However, the chapters are too short to flesh the characters out as it would be necessary. Fortunately, Marinette does feel grown-up. And the identity thing is soon rendered moot with Tikki's approval of Marinette getting to know her partner's identity. I mean, the very first paragraphs stress a LOT that Chat Noir must not discover Ladybug's identity, so Ladybug ought to act as she did in canon so he can't suspect either Ladybug or Marinette from suspecting who he is. The former, 'cause he fell in love with Ladybug in part because she didn't know he was a famous model and, thus, would be able to see him for who he truly is. And the latter, because it would attract too much attention to them. Also, it was too out of character on Tikki's part.
The narrative could use working in its pacing and be less... blunt about things. Build up the tension better.
Good concept, but mediocre writing
The fic has a cool enough concept that stresses the utmost importance of protecting the heroes' identities from Hawkmoth. However, the chapters are too short to flesh the characters out as it would be necessary. Fortunately, Marinette does feel grown-up. And the identity thing is soon rendered moot with Tikki's approval of Marinette getting to know her partner's identity. I mean, the very first paragraphs stress a LOT that Chat Noir must not discover Ladybug's identity, so Ladybug ought to act as she did in canon so he can't suspect either Ladybug or Marinette from suspecting who he is. The former, 'cause he fell in love with Ladybug in part because she didn't know he was a famous model and, thus, would be able to see him for who he truly is. And the latter, because it would attract too much attention to them. Also, it was too out of character on Tikki's part. The narrative could use working in its pacing and be less... blunt about things. Build up the tension better.