Please use line breaks
I agree that it needs line breaks, but it's not the only problem. The reviewer's thoughts are poorly organized, and this doesn't read like a review.
Paragraph breaks don't just make reviews easier to read, but they also force you to organize your thoughts. Each paragraph should be devoted to its own idea, with each sentence in that paragraph supporting the overall point. The bullet point reviews that I often see on this site are a crutch used by amateur writers who haven't yet grasped this concept, and walls of text are often made by writers who don't even understand why paragraphs are important.
I apologize. I'm new. Could you explain to me how to better organize the writing or where to publish it?
My reviews are generally organized as follows.
- The first paragraph usually states my opinion on the work.
- The second paragraph provides a brief description of the work.
- The next few paragraphs- generally at least two or three- provide opinions on certain aspects of the work. Each paragraph focuses on a certain topic, or set of closely related topics. The number of paragraphs depends on how many topics I want to address, and the length of each one depends on how much I have to say, but I generally try not to make them too long.
- I then conclude by writing a few sentences restating my opinion and summing up my review.
To be blunt, I don't see any of this in your review, which consists of a large list of tropes and your opinions about them in Overlord. As such, I'd suggest that you rewrite your review with a structure similar to the one I usually use.
I just wanted to give my opinion on certain tropes and thought it should be done here. I didn\'t want to write a review and couldn\'t find a way to completely delete the message.
The reviews page isn't a place for your "opinion on certain tropes." It's unfortunate that you can't delete your reviews, but perhaps the moderators will delete this one once they see it's not an actual review.
Then I\'ll leave it to them.
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invasion of worker
I was reading about Overlord and I would like to talk about what I think are forcing or wrong narrative choices in the workers issue. I am not criticizing the tropes selection work. Foresight; - Fatal Flaw: Ainz's question was too vague (obviously those who accepted did it for money). Furthermore, it is unlikely that a person will talk about their problems to a stranger in front of other strangers. It must also be said that Roberdick and Imina talk about the arche sisters when they tell her to run away and Ainz was there. That was obviously a clue that they weren't there out of greed. If Ainz wanted to know more about the workers he could talk to each team during the camps or use shadow demons to spy on them. We do not take into account that Ainz stole in the previous volume and the exploration of ruins is something that even adventurers do. -Foil and Heroic sacrifice: It would have been interesting to see Ainz retrace his steps. This would have shown us an evolution of the character, which actually remains static from the start. If the author had shown us that at first he tried to avoid the massacres and then as the story progressed he became insensitive, then this choice would have been interesting. -One last Job: This, coupled with the fact that Arche said that finished the job would take the sisters away, made me understand that she would end badly. No surprise. - Unwitting Pawn: There were other ways to gain power for Ainz. Hekkeran; - Cover Identity Anomaly and Too Dumb to Live: Justified: After trying to apologize, Hekkeran tried to explain their situation but Ainz shut him up. It seems to me a stretch that a character described as cautious in situations he does not know and who has spent a lot of time between life and death uses such an elementary lie. There was no reason for Ainz to let the team go before he made sure it was the truth, and Hekkeran knew that Ainz had the means not to let them escape. At this point he could go on trying to explain their situation and lie saying they were exploring a newly found ruin for the safety of their country. He could thus have shifted Ainz's attention to Count Femel or the emperor. Arche; -Death by Adaptation and Mercy Kill: And how: In the end Ainz had no reason to kill her and the excuse of anger is stupid as the protagonist's nature prevents being blinded by her emotions. Not only did that group represent what Ainz would like from adventurers, but Arche was still a very young tier 3 wizard and had a similar reaction to Fluder. Was it possible that a collector was not interested? Arche is also a waste as she could help Fluder with research and could open up Ainz's improvement in the relationship with the NP Cs. - I read about this character that she would be the cute girl who doesn't save herself but I actually see it as a nonsense. We have Enri and Tsuare (described as beautiful) who are saved through plot armors and luck) while Arche (described as not beautiful) who saving himself through Ainz who respects the friendship of the group would have made sense and without some plot armor.