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Reviews Series / The Witcher 2019

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maninahat Grand Poobah Since: Apr, 2009
Grand Poobah
12/24/2019 01:41:31 •••

Hmph

So at long last, the trepidation triggering series The Witcher is out on Netflix. I've spent the entire year listening to people fretting over every new detail about this show. "Oh no, look at his wig!" "Oh no, it's going to have black people in it!" (goddamnit internet, get a grip). Now it's out, and having seen the entire arc, what I can now finally safely say is...

...confusing? This is based on a book I've already read, so I should already know the story its telling, but the show presents the tale of magic and medieval intrigue out of order, time skipping between a couple of periods decades apart without warning. What makes it more confusing is that many of the magical characters don't visibly age, so you often don't have a quick way of knowing whether this is backstory stuff or the present day. For what its worth, I didn't think much of the book Blood of Elves, and part of that was how little story there actually was, so perhaps this was the show's way of getting around it. But the result is something really messy that will be especially confusing to new comers.

That's a major misstep, because this series is clearly desperate to attract refugees from the Game of Thrones fanbase. It's the reason for why it presents Geralt as the hench lothario version from the games, and not the gnarled up, ropey weirdo from the books. There was a lot of angst from Witcher fans who wondered if Cavill was up to the task of representing their precious hero, and I think he does a decent enough job. He can do the fencing choreography well, he looks good in a bath tub, and he knows how to grunt. The rest of the cast are fine at what they do as well, though some fans of the game will be confused at how little characters like Triss resemble their redheaded waifu.

A bigger problem isn't the looks of the show, but the sounds. Everyone is slightly over-acting, over annunciating mock medieval dialogue like an amateur Shakespeare production. The worst is Tissaia, the head of a mage school, who is somehow able to pronounce the word "magic" with five ems. Geralt sounds like a man putting on a deep voice, rather than a man with a deep voice. "You smell of lilac and gooseberries" is a particularly hilarious line when said in the gruffest and most serious voice possible. A lot of scenes undercut by him and the other actors devouring the scenery this way.

Overall, it was okay. I was sometimes bored by the amount of dialogue and I wasn't following the story super well, but whenever Geralt gets into an action scene or a moral quandary that threatens his neutrality, the show gets more interesting.


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