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05/26/2018 05:28:35 •••

Fuck Batman

An attention-seeking title like that isn't great, but I thought 'Fuck the DC Comics staff who continually decide that their top priority in any given story is to assign the moral high ground to whichever character is most popular on the internet right now' was a bit long.

I like Injustice 2. The roster is great, the graphics are amazing, the fighting is fast-paced, the zingers fly fast - I love Captain Cold - and the story is better than I expected. But there are still enough problems with the story that I wanted to write this.

As I said before, DC decided that the most morally-superior character of all is the man who dresses up as a bat and beats up street-level thugs to work out three decades of parental abandonment issues. I'm sure it has nothing to do with him also being their most popular character.

And Superman? "Screw Superman!" said DC. "He killed Goku! And he's boring! Putting effort into writing him as a better character is hard, so let's just make him the villain!" Part of why I've always had a chip on my shoulder about Injustice is that the the story begins 'Joker kills millions - Superman kills Joker' and this is presented as his descent into villainy. I'm firmly anti-death penalty, but I think Batman is the biggest Batman villain there is, because he insists on keeping an irredeemable insane mass-murderer alive in the most cardboardingest of Cardboard Prisons, solely for the joy he gets from his eternal dick-waving morality contest with a man who has no morals.

Also, Harley Quinn. She's complicit in the murder of millions of people, but later she realises that crime is bad so Batman forgives her and makes her a high-ranking member of his team. What? Batman extends more sympathy to her than to his best friend when he lost his wife and child. And I know that Damian Wayne is The Scrappy, but Injustice 2 Batman isn't the best father.

Endings. There are two; good (Batman) or evil (Superman), obviously. I would've liked five endings. A good and bad ending for each character, so that siding with Superman didn't automatically make you the villain of a Wolfenstein game, and also so that Batman could finally not be the single most moral mortal to mort an ortal, but also a fifth ending for beating the game really well where the two sides reconcile and work out their differences; a relief from DC's trademark grimdark anti-happiness. Also, in Batman's ending, he uses Golden Kryptonite to permanently remove Superman's powers. I guarantee you that someone at Netherrealm said "That's a thing, right?" while writing that scene.

Injustice 2 is good, really. I was just a bit disappointed that they had the chance - especially with Brainiac coming in and forcing the two sides to team up - to partially redeem Superman and show Batman's flaws. Instead, it was just a repeat of the first game.

But they're adding Starfire as DLC, so it's a solid 11/10 from me.

06/14/2017 00:00:00

Gah I forgot to mention that Batman also has an Orwellian global surveillance system named Brother Eye to monitor the entire planet for metahuman activity and possible Superman sympathizers. And like every other morally ambiguous tool Batman has ever used for the greater good, it is immediately hijacked by an enemy and used for great evil.

06/14/2017 00:00:00

I was with you until it turned into the old \"superman should had been the good moral compass\" argument. When superman is popular or in stories were he\'s the protagonist the same thing happens. It\'s all in whoever the writter of the story likes the most, ironically Batman is actually portrayed generally from light gray to a necesary evil a decent amout of time.

06/14/2017 00:00:00

If there's one problem with the injustice games, it's the Batman worship. It doesn't stop with him either; Like you said Harley is Easily Forgiven and allowed to join the good guys largely because she's a Batman character, and the Joker is portrayed as someone capable of mentally breaking Superman to the point that he would become a dictator. That's always been the least believable part of the Joker's role and it's kept me from finding Regime!Superman functional as anything more than a plot device to set up the Injustice World.I don't find Evil!Superman interesting as a rule, but the games took a really lazy approach to the idea.

Other than the Bat-worship, the Injustice games are pretty good fighting games. I'd recommenced them to anyone looking for new fighting games to play.

06/14/2017 00:00:00

I\'m with you pal. God I am sick of how Superman is treated nowadays. I mean, yeah, I love Batman, he\'s awesome, but seriously, are the writers of these game anti-superpowers or something? That \"Superman gone evil\" trend needs to stop.

06/14/2017 00:00:00

largely because she\'s a Batman character

It\'s more because Harley became really popular, which like Deadpool before her, means she had to be made a good guy/gal...for some reason.

06/14/2017 00:00:00

Well it goes both ways. Batman characters are popular, so Harley got extra special treatment both because of that and Suicide Sqaud making her more popular with the casual comic book crowd.

@ Theokal 3 These games aren't anti-superpowers, since both game's main plots were solved using super powers.

06/15/2017 00:00:00

...Honestly, my biggest problem with the last game was that like half the freaking roster was Batman characters, and that Batman got waaaaaaay too much story focus. It sounds like that's still kind of the case, so... point?

But, to be frank, I think trying to build up Superman by knocking down Batman is just as wrong-headed as pimping Bats as the uber-protagonist just because he's popular and marketable. I can see arguments for abandoning the previous game's Elseworlds-crossover narrative in favor of keeping things contained to this universe, even if I do think it misses the narrative importance of having Original Recipe Superman fly in and be the paragon hero who saves the day.

Also, the Death Battle thing is just... whaaaaa? And Gold Kryptonite's been around since the Silver Age, and features prominently in one of the greatest Superman stories ever written.

I like ya, Elmo. I like most of your reviews. And, to be honest, what I like most about most of your reviews is that most of them aren't just angry rants about random things that irked you about the work, rather than hollistic looks at it. I've heard, for instance, that Supergirl is a big narrative crux of the story, but you don't even mention her, even to complain that it's only because she's currently enjoying a reasonably-popular television program! It just doesn't make for a great review.

And this is coming from someone who mostly agrees with you. (Though I don't think we can reasonably blame Batman for either Gotham's inexplicable refusal to give the Joker the chair already or the out-of-universe fact that killing the Joker means depriving any future writers of the ability to write Joker stories ever again.)

06/15/2017 00:00:00

Aw shucks. When you put a review on the internet and name it 'Fuck Batman' I wasn't expecting people to agree with me. This is nice! Thanks everyone!

Marcell! I'm sorry if it came across that I was saying 'Superman should always be the moral compass' because that's not what I was trying to say. It's more that he shouldn't be the immoral compass. Superman wanting to kill the Joker VS Batman wanting to save the Joker is the making of an absolutely fantastic story where both sides have valid points and it would be incredibly interesting to see them develop. Instead we got the initially interesting premise, and then Superman because Kryptonian Hitler, and then he got a chance to redeem himself, and then it turned out that he was still Krypt-ler after all. The Flash and Green Lantern got a chance to redeem themselves.

Spectral Time! I have that Superman story so now I feel like an idiot. I don't want to knock down Batman and say he's the villain or anything... hang on, let me just scroll up to the point where I literally call Batman the villain - yep, there it is - it's more that he's really flawed. Him and Superman are both flawed. And for them to both be flawed and allowing players to decide who's better on their own merits would've been neat. Also, yeah, I wanted to mention a shitload more stuff, including Supergirl - and Cyborg, I think it's really important that Cyborg supports the Regime because some of the Teen Titans died in Metropolis and that's just brushed over as his reason for joining but it would be amazing to explore that at greater length - but the 3,000 character limit cut out a lot of stuff.

The Okal and Very Melon! Thanks! Pleasantly surprised that some people agreed with me. I feel bad that you don't get a longer response. I do feel that the game is hamstrung by the premise that Harley Quinn is really popular, and Harley Quinn has to be in the game, and everyone wants to play as Harley Quinn. But incorporating Harley Quinn into the story ends up ruining Batman's moral high ground and - I could type for hours more about Injustice so I'm just going to say thanks and stop.

06/15/2017 00:00:00

Well, in the first game Supes was already kryptonian hittler and the other one remainded his usual self. The suplementary comics were the ones that explained that universe\'s situation and it was more gradual, developed and gray than the game. For one, most people that change sides do so because of the actions of their respective leaders (supes and batman) and rarely if at all because they were convinced by the other party.

06/15/2017 00:00:00

Thanks for your comment Elmo. Though there aren't many of us, more than a few people do think the Injustice games over indulge in Batman love.

05/26/2018 00:00:00

The thing that gets me the most is, it acts like Superman is so fragile, so emotionally weak, that ONE life is all that is between us and a physical god dictator. Yes, I\'m aware that he also lost a child.

First and foremost...Superman does NOT, not now, not EVER, need protection from the fucking Joker. So whole \"Bruce...why didn\'t you protect me from him!?\" Thing was beyond stupid. Also, heat visioning Captain Marvel would just piss Marvel off. Not only that, Clark fucking Kent isn\'t going to murder a child.

More then being being faster then a speeding bullet, more powerful then a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Superman IS THE GUY WHO CAN TAKE IT. You can\'t break Superman....that\'s WHY he is Superman. Would he be pissed if somehow Joker murdered Lois? Sure, and he might even kill Joker for it, but everything else? No fucking way man, not Clark.

In one continuity, Brainiac killed Jonathan Kent, Clark\'s dad. Clark thought about killing him sure, but he didn\'t, and you know what else he didn\'t do? Go fucking nuts.

Because Clark can take it. Stronger then his body, is his will, and stronger then that is Clark\'s overall sense of good and decency.

Besides, who would you bet would snap and try to take over everything? The man of steel? OR he who dresses as a bat who is already halfway up crazy town?

But that\'s the thing isn\'t it? Superman? He\'s a threat. We get that immediately. \"Superman\'s gone nuts and is trying to take over the world!\" Wow...that\'ll be a problem. But \"Batman\'s gone more nuts and is trying to take over the world!!\"

\"Uh...so...which one of us that can most faster then the speed of light wants to punch him in his big, stupid, exposed mouth and end this in about two microseconds?\"

And it\'s not even a new, or interesting, concept. Superman turns evil, because Lois died, has been done HOW many times now?


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