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Reviews VideoGame / Batman Arkham Knight

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01/23/2020 09:35:20 •••

Garbage. 1 Star.

This version of the Batmobile would be awesome in a movie. It looks incredibly badass. But it's not fun to operate, and the vehicle combat segments are tedious, annoying, and far too frequent. I kept playing in the hopes this would turn into one of the first three Arkham games, but was disappointed—occasionally, the really good parts of Arkham City (particularly the predator levels) make an appearance, but not often enough to make this thing really playable.

As for the plot, here's a pop quiz that tells you everything you need to know:

1) You are the Arkham Knight, one of the world's most brilliant tacticians. Your personal knowledge of the Batman's weaknesses—especially his pathetic refusal to kill his enemies—will enable to you destroy both him and Gotham. One of your lieutenants comes to you with an idea for unmanned drone tanks to patrol the city during your master plan. Do you:

(a) Fire this idiot, possibly out of a cannon, and assign some members of your improbably-large mercenary army to tank driving duty;

(b) Restrain kidnapped civilians in each of the tanks;

(c) a) and b);

(d) Use the drone tanks as-is, enabling Batman to blow them up without hesitation.

2) You are The Batman—the Caped Crusader, the Gotham Guardian, the Masked Manhunter, the World's Greatest Detective, and one of the most skilled martial artists in a world with no shortage of impossibly-skilled martial artists. You have cornered the supervillain Scarecrow, who has nearly destroyed your city tonight. Do you:

(a) Knock him down with a Batarang, then pound him unconscious and bring him back to GCPD headquarters;

(b) Grab him with your Bathook, clothesline him to the ground, then pound him unconscious and bring him back to GCPD headquarters;

(c) Incapacitate him with your Remote Electrical Charge, dropkick him to the ground, then pound him unconscious and bring him back to GCPD headquarters; or

(d) Threaten him, then stand around like an idiot while he pushes a button on the remote control in his hand, allowing him to escape with the superweapon he needs to finish his plan and extend the plot by another few hours.

3) Name a good Batman story that doesn't focus on the Joker as the most important villain:

(a) No Man's Land

(b) Year One

(c) Other

(d) None. The Joker is the only worthwhile Batman villain and any Batman story that doesn't feature him constantly will automatically suck.

If you answered d) to the above questions, please send a resume and writing sample to Rocksteady Games. They're always on the lookout for talent like yours.

01/23/2020 00:00:00

So, you\'re not even acknowledging the highs of the game like the good graphics, voice acting, and non-Batmobile combat? And instead focusing on the lows while not even giving much of a review? The bias is strong with this one.

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