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Peryton Since: Jun, 2012
09/16/2018 06:32:50 •••

Most overated piece of trash I've ever seen

As a kid, I loved JP and it's sequels, but looking back I realised how utterly dull it is.

The characters are clichéd archetypes, aside from Hammond (who is a brilliant spin on the mad "scientist", being instead a high visionary rich man; note that this only applies to the movie, however). The plot is a generic and highly predictable narrative laced with disgusting anti-progress and "pseudo-naturalistic" (as in, "appeal to tradition" and "appeal to nature" fallacy ridden rhetorics, ignoring what Naturalism actually is) propaganda.

Oh, and have I mentioned those dinosaurs look like shit? The effects are cool, but the designs are horrendous. The "raptors" are mutant zombie monitors that are an utter eyeblight, the Tyrannosaurus looks like it has a box for a skull, and the more aesthetically appealing species like the Brachiosaurus and the Gallimimus are stolen screeen time for those ambulatory shites, and even then their skin looks like blank, no traits beyond colour. Is this really what we're battling for? Do you honestly preffered these utter sores to the sight to bird-like feathered dinosaurs?

The second movie is the same, except propaganda takes the front seat and the characters are twicefold stupid, and we lack what little charm the original movie had, as not only the propaganda is constantly on your face, but it overall has a depressing and mean spirited feel to it, like the characters are black holes instead of just card boards. The books are the same, except Hammond is a stereotypical Uncle Scrooge and the "morals" are shoven to your face every two lines, leaving no enjoyment for the reader. The only good thing are the Cearadactylus, because they come close to killing off the protagonists.

Finally, we have the third movie. Ironically, it's the best. Yes, it's still stupid beyond belief, but at least it dares to focus more on it's bottomless train wreck of a plot than the "messages".

-10000000/10

doctrainAUM Since: Aug, 2010
05/19/2013 00:00:00

This movie never struck me as anti-progress. It seemed more that cloning animals from millions of years ago, way out of their natural habitats, with generally insufficient security, all to make money, is a terrible idea. It's not anti-science, just against using science in incredibly stupid and short-sighted ways.

You have to realize that this movie is from 1993 and computer effects age extremely quickly. At the time, they were breathtaking. And I believe the theory that dinosaurs had feathers was either a minority position or didn't exist at all.

For some reason, I find your final score to be really childish.

"What's out there? What's waiting for me?"
Tuckerscreator (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
05/19/2013 00:00:00

For better or worse, you can't really redesign the T. rex or raptors' body structure because that's actually what they look like. Complaining that the Rex's head looks like a box can't be directed at the movie, because that's what its head is actually shaped like and no amount of complaining is going to change that.

And Gallimimus looks better than the T. rex? Gallimimus looks like a featherless ostrich. A T. rex looks like a forty foot long muscular beast of death. You can't get a much cooler look than that.

TomWithNoNumbers Since: Dec, 2010
05/19/2013 00:00:00

"or raptors' body structure because that's actually what they look like."

Well it's definitely not true for the raptors, because they're not tiny little chicken-esque scavenger things =D

Tuckerscreator (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
05/19/2013 00:00:00

IF you think of them as Velociraptor Mongoliensis, rather than Velociraptor Antirrhopus, aka what was eventually found to Deinonychus.

But actually, I meant in terms of shape. Shape-wise, there's not much you can change.

fenrisulfur Since: Nov, 2010
05/19/2013 00:00:00

The first movie was not anti progress, it was anti exploitation/sensationalism. Hammond has this great breakthrough, but it's not finished. He decides to skip forward, constantly comparing his breakthroughs to disney world or a flea circus. He'd rather exploit his breakthrough than follow through. Sattler gives an entire rant about how he doesn't even realize he put poisonous plants on the island because the just thought they looked nice.

As for the dinosaurs the only one that was actually against the current prevailing theory at the time was the Dilophosaurus, where no evidence points to a frill or poison. Everything else was fact checked by Dr. Jack Horner, one of the preeminent paleontologists of the time.

Aaaand the raptors and T rex actually had mechanical armatures with textured skin used with cgi to make them look real. The brachios were huge hand puppets in their close ups. I would never call a glorified Big bird head a better aesthetic choice than what Stan Winston did with the raptors and Tyrannosaurs...unless it actually was big bird (because why not?).

illegitematus non carborundum est
Peryton Since: Jun, 2012
05/20/2013 00:00:00

@Tucker: Tyrannosaurus did not look like that. The skull is completly wrong; see Darren Naish's comments on WWD's T. rex, which has the same problems.

Peryton Since: Jun, 2012
05/20/2013 00:00:00

Also, Deinoncyhus wasn't like that either: for starters, it was much smaller, around the size of a wolf, didn't had puppy hands and even ignoring the lack of feathers the body is a horrendous rendition.

See the following:

http://tomozaurus.deviantart.com/art/Common-errors-for-Velociraptor-178827028

TomWithNoNumbers Since: Dec, 2010
05/20/2013 00:00:00

@Fenrisulfur Malcom's dialogue was perhaps a touch anti-progress. I'm pretty sure he out and out says they shouldn't be messing with life like that at some point. But the two palaeontologists balance it out a bit by bringing the wonder of scientific achievement to the table

fenrisulfur Since: Nov, 2010
05/20/2013 00:00:00

@Tom Forgot about him, okay yeah you're right about Malcom.

The raptor design was from a Deinonychus article in National Geographic (which is how Horner found out about the film in the first place). At the time, this is how people thought the animals moved and looked. They design we have now is from the mid 1990s (after the movie). The feathered theory was proposed in 1975 by Dr. Rob Bakker, but it never gained evidence until the 1990s.

If we were to disucss inaccuracies, the Brachiosaurus was very inaccurate with an impossible posture, ability to get on its hind legs, chewing teeth, and no feathers/spines. This was known at the time, unlike the feathers.

I can't find Naish's comments on T. Rex in Walking with Dinosaurs, just his book that was a tie in. That said, we also currently doubt that T. Rex was a predator as its skeletal structure lends itself more to walking than running, and its olfactory system is far more developed than any other sense.

In truth, this doesn't bother me as, in the words of Bakker, "the great thing about Paleontology is that you'll be wrong in ten years anyway". I don't think that this movie about theme park monsters intended to be scientifically accurate.

illegitematus non carborundum est
Tuckerscreator (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
05/20/2013 00:00:00

we also currently doubt that T. Rex was a predator as its skeletal structure lends itself more to walking than running, and its olfactory system is far more developed than any other sense

Not really. The general consensus nowadays is that T. rex was both a predator and a scavenger, and even Jack Horner, the lead proponent on the "T. rex was a scavenger" claim, now claims he never meant it seriously but was trying to educate about misinformation. And not being able to move above trotting speed isn't really a problem if your prey won't be going any faster. I can't see a Triceratops galloping.

Tuckerscreator (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
05/20/2013 00:00:00

In addition, the film still made some major strides in dinosaur perception to the public. For instance, it was one of the first to accurately show T. rex in a horizontal posture, rather than the vertical posture with a dragging tail.

maninahat Since: Apr, 2009
05/21/2013 00:00:00

You don't think much to the special effects? I think they still stand up to scrutiny to this day. The early 90s was truly the high water mark for "special effects" (before they became just "effects") - a time where CGI was a brilliant new invention to achieve spectacular results, but still too primitive to be used exclusively/without clever cheats to obscure the limitations. In the case of Jurassic park, they are careful to reserve CGI for distant models, and switch to robots/suits for up close.

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maninahat Since: Apr, 2009
05/21/2013 00:00:00

EDIT: wait, I misread that section. Never mind

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HammerOfJustice Since: Apr, 2013
09/16/2018 00:00:00

CGI? They built physical puppets of the creatures that could move. Your review is henceforth deemed a pathetic joke.

If you're going to put up a review of something, MAKE SURE IT HAS A PAGE FIRST!

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