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tweekatten Since: Oct, 2019
Sep 14th 2020 at 1:05:58 AM •••

"Magical Negro" is probably not a suitable Trope name, although it was coined by a group of Black comedians. It is the appearance of a middle-aged black person, wise in the ways of the heart and also in whatever specific wisdom the plot requires, who appears in the middle in the film, imparts said wisdom on the white yuppie folks, and then has to good grace to wander off or die, so the white folks can get on with their business.

Vulco1 Since: Oct, 2016
Jan 7th 2017 at 11:47:27 PM •••

  • Spoiler Alert*

My Wife's Theory on what's really going on:

So here’s the theory: Spoilers obviously

Basically, the spaceship Avalon is an evil genius, super computer whose creative process is essentially blocked by the appropriately wary scientists of Homestead.

These people have obviously devoured every book and movie on the subject of “when evil genius super computer goes rogue” and were like “Bet, let’s not do that.” So they loaded the ship up with safeguards and fail-safes preventing the ship from ever completely gaining control or obtaining autonomy; HOWEVER, they did decide that if the Avalon is going to be up in space unmanned for 120 years with 5,000 Columbus types dodging meteors, aliens and whatnot that it should probably be able to fix itself. And fix itself it did. Through some VERY creative problem solving, the ship figured out that it could wake up Jim. Why Jim you ask? Well…Along with those safeguards and fail-safes, there’s also a built-in hierarchy system to the ship. Rich and important people like Aurora who can order double mocha half caf no whip soy macchiatos and free-range omelets from the cafeteria and then somewhere down the list is Jim, who has an actually desirable skill set but can only have black coffee and oatmeal pellets b/c America. After doing everything it possibly can to fix itself within the constraints the engineers have set, the Avalon runs down the manifest and finds the lowest possible denominator that has the capability of fixing the problem and for whatever reason that turns out to be Jim. At this point, the only things really wrong with the ship are those pesky meteor holes, which Jim, being a mechanic, was certainly capable of fixing. During his time on the ship, Jim showed us that he has several impressive skills that combined might lead him to finding a way to that platform and fixing those holes, possibly even putting himself back in stasis via the medi-pod. This dude is reprogramming robots, breaking into restricted areas, welding jewelry, manipulating ship plumbing in order to plant trees…etc, etc etc. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect that Jim could figure out a way to get those override codes on his own, even if it’s just to get better coffee. Instead, Jim wallows in his misery, ignoring all types of glitches that might suggest that something is wrong with ship. At no point did he even try to figure out what actually made his pod open, only how to get back in hibernation. Now, ignoring that he was perfectly capable of solving this mess on his own, he showed us that at any point he could’ve woken up any number of people on that ship who most definitely would have known how to troubleshoot the situation. Instead, he starts listening to the man downstairs and wakes up Aurora so he can fulfill this deserted island fantasy. The ship can’t straight up tell him to start waking up engineers; but, it can certainly steer him in that direction. Which is what barkeep Arthur did. Being an entity of this evil genius, supercomputer ship, he is trying his hardest to lead this dude to water but Jim is determined to just settle down and wife up Aurora. Arthur probably knew way more stuff about the ship than what was revealed but could only answer if Jim asked just the right question but whatever…. Once Jim proved himself suicidal and oblivious to the needs of the ship, they were like on to plan wake a b**ch. Arthur never told Jim to wake up Aurora, or anyone for that matter, but as soon as he firmly landed on the idea on his own Arthur was all smiles and approval. Sure, Aurora probably wasn’t the ship’s first choice but at this point they still need Jim and if she keeps him from floating himself then all the better. So they let them carry on for a while. Jim’s in good spirits; maybe the two of them might even save the day. But Jim’s all like, “hey girl, I already tried everything the only thing left to do is love me.” And she’s like “ok, cool.” Then there’s a lot of swimming, exposed bodies, and diddling (which nobody’s mad at) Eventually, things start to get dire and the ship decides enough is enough and c*ck blocks the hell out of Jim. Arthur reveals that it wasn’t a malfunction that woke Aurora up and then gives Jim the slightest, pettiest, most passive aggressive smirk ever to grace an Androids face. Naturally, Aurora’s pissed. And lo and behold Jim actually goes back to tinkering. At this point, the Avalon’s probably hoping that they’ll actually start paying attention and figure this whole thing out now that they’ve been drawn out of this stupor. But unfortunately, they’re just out of time. Things get beyond crucial and now the ship has the creative wiggle room to actually wake up someone with some legitimate credentials. Insert: my boy Morpheus. Notice, the Avalon is still running down this command hierarchy, which is why it can only wake up a deck Captain. Mancuso isn’t a big fish as far as personnel goes, but he still has those overrides they so desperately need and the common sense to start thinking about the ship. With the Captain’s direction, Jim and Aurora finally get it together and now have the tools they need to blow the entire case wide open. But because the Avalon could only wake up Mancuso once there was no other feasible way to fix itself, he was forced out of his hibernation too abruptly to sustain life functions.

tl;dr: the Avalon has one hand tied behind its back the entire movie and is basically a couple passwords away from total autonomy. Due to some creative loopholes and fancy footwork, it manages to throw a hail marry to Jim, who just can’t seem to catch the ball and get it across the line…drama ensues.

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