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Make Private (For security bugs or stuff only for moderators)

Serac (Troper Knight)
2020-06-25 11:27:11

"I don't see anything objectively wrong with the entry"

For one thing, examples aren't supposed to be entirely covered in spoiler tags like that.

Ferot_Dreadnaught Since: Mar, 2015
2020-06-25 12:25:22

The spoilers would be removed in the rewrite. How's this:

  • Broken Aesop: The games anti-revenge Aesop is undercut by Ellie killing numerous mooks which the game tries to humanized without consequence and Abby, who successfully took revenge, ultimately getting better off than Ellie who chose not to and end the cycle of revenge.

Serac (Troper Knight)
2020-06-25 17:06:08

That looks much better, but it has a few grammar issues. How about this?

  • Broken Aesop: The game's anti-revenge Aesop is undercut by Ellie killing numerous mooks which the game tries to humanize without consequence and Abby, who successfully took revenge, ultimately was better off in the end than Ellie, who chose not to and ended the cycle of revenge.

Edited by Serac
Kevjro7 Since: Jan, 2020
2020-06-25 20:51:11

Serac's entry looks good to me.

Ferot_Dreadnaught Since: Mar, 2015
2020-06-25 21:26:15

Added, it. Thanks for the feedback.

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