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The TVTropes Trope Finder is where you can come to ask questions like "Do we have this one?" and "What's the trope about...?" Trying to rediscover a long lost show or other medium but need a little help? Head to Media Finder and try your luck there. Want to propose a new trope? You should be over at the Trope Launch Pad.

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4tell0life4 Since: Mar, 2018
2019-10-14 14:16:55

You Need to Get Laid

We can never truly eradicate the coronavirus, but we can suppress its threat like influenza
MiinU Since: Jun, 2011
2019-10-14 14:38:14

^Getting laid has nothing to do with marriage.

Case in point: see Friends with Benefits, The Pornomancer, Really Gets Around, and Sex with the Ex which are different tropes about people having sex without strings attached.

Edited by MiinU
Unsung Since: Jun, 2016
2019-10-14 14:42:45

Still Christmas Cake. The example can be about the surrounding plot rather than just the character who is the cake.

MiinU Since: Jun, 2011
2019-10-14 14:49:03

@OP: The trope you're looking for is I Want Grandkids

walkenfan Since: Sep, 2013
2019-10-15 07:08:47

I guess I wasn't clear enough...what I'm looking for is people nagging their friends or co-workers to date, get married, have kids, etc...not their own children. The specific character I'm thinking of is divorced with older children and just doesn't want anyone she knows to be alone.

@Unsung: I've read the entire Christmas Cake section, paying special attention to the "Playing With" part, and can't find the exact situation, so I don't know if it's Subverted, Zig-Zagged or what. Any suggestions?

Unsung Since: Jun, 2016
2019-10-15 08:07:11

Ahh. That changes things. I would say if they've already been married, it's a different situation from Christmas Cake — they've "proven" they can get married and are already old enough to have grown-up kids, so it's not really a ticking-clock concern. If the friends/coworkers just think no one can be fulfilled unless they're married, maybe The Matchmaker?

If it's still about them getting remarried and having kids while they still can, then maybe it could be a played-with version of Christmas Cake? Just saying 'played with' is a valid way of describing a trope, if it's being played with in more than way. It might not be the best fit, but we might not have something more specific. Likewise, I could see a subversion of I Want Grandkids where the friends want honorary nephews and nieces, whether for their own kids to play with or because they don't want kids themselves.

But we might not have exactly what you're looking for. You might need to bend the trope to make it fit, or launch a new one if it's common enough.

Edited by Unsung
walkenfan Since: Sep, 2013
2019-10-15 08:31:43

@Unsung: Thanks! I'm definitely seeing a shades of I Want Grandkids!

XFllo Since: Aug, 2012
2019-10-15 11:25:10

^^ Trying to bend tropes to make them fit usually leads to misuse and even Trope Decay. See Square Peg Round Trope.

Also of note: Christmas Cake is a specifically Japanese concept. Old Maid (or fear of becoming one) is more general.

Somebody who nags others might be a Jerkass or some other trope from the Jerk index.

Edited by XFllo
Scorpion451 (Edited uphill both ways)
2019-10-15 12:27:25

^ Incorrect on the bending of tropes. Tropes Are Flexible, and can be freely squashed, stretched, bent, twisted, folded, turned inside out, pulled apart, mashed back together, and tied into pretzels without changing their fundamental nature. Square Peg Round Trope is when an example has nothing to do with the trope.

Also Christmas Cake isn't exclusively Japanese. Japanese culture just makes a bigger deal out of it at younger ages so you see it more often in media.

@OP: You might look at Career Versus Man, Not Wanting Kids Is Weird, and Family Versus Career for other factors in the equation.

Edited by Scorpion451
MiinU Since: Jun, 2011
2019-10-15 13:35:06

@OP: If it's a friend or a co-worker nagging their friends to get hitched, the closest tropes would be The Matchmaker and Not Wanting Kids Is Weird.

XFllo Since: Aug, 2012
2019-10-15 14:13:33

^^ No, you're incorrect. Playing With is different from bending the definition to make it fit. Once again, Square Peg Round Trope.

The thing about Christmas Cake not being Japanese specific might be a case for discussion, but I remember one trope talk where a mod said it's Japanese only, and Western concept is the much loosely defined Old Maid. Christmas Cake also has the age very specific and set on 25, while Old Maid can have the threshold anywhere from early twenties to forties.

Unsung Since: Jun, 2016
2019-10-15 15:39:58

It doesn't even sound like Christmas Cake was the trope or that the OP ended up using it, so whether or not it's Japanese media is kind of moot at this point. But it's something to keep in mind, sure.

But we're just arguing semantics. Playing with a trope, a trope flexing, they're just two metaphors out of many. 'Bending' was just me being playful here, same as Scorpion. It's not the 'official' term that Playing With is, but it seems to have gotten the point across. No actual Trope Decay seems to have occurred here.

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