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Update: I happened to run across the rant in question
on cohost, attached to a game called Moraffs Escapade that is clearly not this one, but it looks like Moraff made several games so it's possible he made a breakout clone. That or I erroneously associated his rant with a completely unrelated game I played at the same time.
e: The game I'm thinking of appears to be Moraff's Ultra Blast
, though I'm not finding the rant in there for some reason.
e2: ... because it was in an older version
. Why did Moraff take it out of 5.0? Who knows.

There's this game I played like twice as a kid, and all I remember is:
anyone else remember this?