Romance

Yeah you are way to in your head about this, if you want to know if she’s interested than ask her, don’t make huge leaps of thought based on brief interactions and acts of kindness.

I usually do get way over my head about these kinds of situations. This just feels... different. I've never noticed someone keep giving me looks and I don't know what to make of it. I tend to get confused about this stuff easily.

When you’re confused it’s generally a good idea to seek clarity from an informed source rather than trying to guess.

So ask her, ask her if she’s interested.

If they are, great. If not, you'll be ok. You'll find someone else.

So I apparently get to give someone a free ticket for my college's musical going on. I'm asking my crush but I need to put a name down by tomorrow. I tried calling her and it went to voicemail so I texted her and maybe she'll get back to me. Time to be nervous about this for the rest of the day.

Oh and the musical is about relationships. So yay me.

Edited by Scarecrow4774 on Nov 11th 2019 at 12:30:59 PM

Try to be...calm about this.

Your crush will be around and you can ask them face to face. Get them to think of it as a gesture of friendship.

I'm not going to be able to see them face to face until tomorrow and I need to put a name down by then. I'm just trying to do it quickly. Besides they're bad with texting and calls.

EDIT: Nevermind she said no.

Edited by Scarecrow4774 on Nov 11th 2019 at 3:12:35 PM

I'm sorry to hear that. You seem like a nice person.

Being in this position...hurts. Whether or not you want to go alone, with a friend or not at all is up to you.

You'll find someone soon. I believe in you.

I just think I phrased it wrong. I just said I get to give someone a ticket and asked if she wanted it. I just got nervous because I wasn't planning on going and now I feel like I have to go with someone and I don't know who'd be interested.

I mean, the girl likes talking to me. She's just open sometimes and standoffish other times. I think she may be confused or nervous about something and it could be about me.

Can I talk to someone privately? I don't feel comfortable talking in the thread.

I hope you're doing ok

So, is it a good sign if a girl often gives you a thumbs up when they say goodbye to you?

It’s a positive sign for having a connection, but doesn’t say if that connection is romantic or not.

Last night, my best friend (whom I have been in love with for years while she's in relationship, and both of us are aware of this) and I had a heart-to-heart, and I decided to the a mature person, and I told her basically that I am sure her bf is a great guy, and I feel great that she is with someone she loves and I wish it keeps being like that.

And I meant it sincerely, and I want her to feel happy. But for the first time since forever, I have to confront and admit the fact that, even though I love her just as much, it might never work out. Her happiness is more important than how I feel, because I love her. So sincerely. And... I don't want to lie. It hurts. A lot.

I did the right thing. But it still hurts like hell. Gosh I'm crying again... I meant it sincerely. But it still hurts. Am I bad?

Usual disclaimer: feelings are not a choice, so they don't make you good or bad. What matters is how you behave and, as you said yourself, you did the right thing. It can hurt, but it hurts less if you let it all out now than it would if you let it there to fester for even longer. It sucks, I've been there and I'd be ready to be we've all been there sooner or later. But if you really push through it and let it go, you'll feel lighter, more free and in a word, better. Good luck.

Thank you :) I have been feeling a bit better about it too.

It's so hard to move on though. I have loved my friend for years, and I have never managed to find anyone that I even remotely love as much as I love her. Not for lack of trying.

Edited by Nightwire on Jan 6th 2020 at 12:36:11 PM

You will find that someone. It's ok to cry. Let your feelings out. It is hard to move on. The pain is gut wrenching. Most of us have been there. But then, life happens. And that pain will lessen because there will be people who will be there and love you. And there will be one friend who will love you more and will be there for you, whether it's long term or short.

Don't worry. You'll find that person. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you. I've been there. Trust me. You'll be ok.

Edited by marcen12 on Jan 6th 2020 at 6:46:28 AM

Awww, thank you so much. I mean it.

I actually have been feeling a lot better. And she and I are still great, and it seems like we might have become even closer friends because of it. But yeah, I now have the optimism to move on.

I've started seeing someone. It feels nice, to understate it.

It does feel nice. And congrats! I wish you well.

Thanks! I've got it bad.

If I were like I was a decade ago, this wouldn't be working out at all; chalk one up for life experience.

Edited by Prowler on Jan 14th 2020 at 8:22:29 AM

Romance is always one that takes patience. Enjoy your wait.

I think finally my romantic side has died. Thank the gods. Most days I'm usually running very low on social energy after class or work or whatever. A romantic relationship would only piss me off in my low social energy moments.

All romance would bring is obligation. I don't even fantasize about it anymore. It's a kind of freedom tbh.

I find the idea of commitment to be weird. You stay with someone for the rest of your life and never get with anyone else ever again...

You shut out all other options and put your trust in one person and you're just an unbreakable item.

How often does that actually work out? I read that it's only like half. Like the stasis of your life dependent on a coin flip.

That sounds really unsafe.

So last time I was here, I was talking about trying to move on from being in love with my best friend. I'm still working on it, and something new just happened that hurt a lot. But first, I wanna give you guys some context...

Our friendship/relationship is very complicated and has been through a lot of things, so I would need like a whole book to say everything haha, but I can give you some basics...

She and I both knows that I am very in love with her, there are no secrets between us. We first knew each other when I was studying in Belfast. She had feelings for me, once, and we were having this pseudo-romantic friendship going on back then, but eventually she chose the other guy, and has been in a committed relationship with him for years. Our friendship has been through a lot trials, including multiple breakups and tears, but eventually we'd always find our way back to each other and be close again.

We are always ridiculously close. She and I often call each other "nemesis", that's our pet name for each other dating back from when I first knew her lol. Now, I'm back in Vietnam and she's still living in Belfast, we are still very, very close. We chat with each other like, every day. I make no effort to hide things from her, and am completely open and honest about being in love with her, but we both know she can't return it because of her relationship, and we are both okay with that and still be close. I know that she cares about me a whole lot, just as much as I care for her, but I have no idea if she still retains any romantic feelings towards me or not. If she does, she has never told me. But she has zero problems with me expressing my romantic feeings for her.

I always feel so close even though we live physically very far apart. We talk with each other every day, and I love making her smile and feel happy, and I often make art for her (I'm an artist), send gifts and fun stuff to her from Vietnam to Belfast, write cheesy poetry for her, and just be silly and supportive and loving... I love her very much, and I never want to ask her for anything in return, because making her happy is reward enough for me :)

I often tell myself and her that I can, and I will still love her without needing to be with her. But I guess deep down inside there is still a very tiny sliver of hope left in me, which recently took huge hit, when she revealed to me that she had moved in with her bf. I was devastated when I heard that, I was crying a lot and had to think about a bunch of stuff... But ultimately I decide that I still want her in my life as my friend, and I want to continue being her friend... But it still hurts sometimes.

I'm just, so genuinely, so deeply, so dearly, in love with her. And I want to be with her, to take care of her every day. Just.

Haha, I am sorry for that wall of text. I'm just having a lot on my mind right now.