Romance

By the way: I never had a girlfriend.

I still feel dissasembled. I really need a day off in the near future to assemble myself so I can know what to do. In a week or two.

I find romance to be very complicated as well. I'm not sure what I want out of it either. I've never been in a relationship, never actually seen a relationship that ended well for anyone. I just find it to be even more confusing in college with all the people I keep saying every day. It's overwhelming.

Romance is a feeling. It's something you can describe and also cant. It's never simple yet it's easy enough to feel. It is love in another way.

I find romance is, if you're ugly as fuck like me, a losing cause. A battle you charge into with no hope of victory.

I'm starting to develop a crush on this girl who I share three classes with. She's very cute and has a nice Halloween aesthetic and we share similar interests. I'm just nervous about fucking up again like I do with every crush I have.

Don't lean too deep into your past. Learn from it. Everyone is insecure about themselves in one way or another. It's all about figuring out what to say. You both have similar interests? Start from there. Start small at first and the conversation will go smoothly. Who knows. The other person is probably intimidated of talking to you. Go for it! The worst that can happen is not saying anything at all and you're left wondering...

We've talked a few times and she said she also has anxiety problems like me. I think she likes talking to me and I wanna try and ask her if she wants to watch a movie sometime soon.

Go for it! What do I know is that if I have an opportunity, I should use it, as long as time still is.

You both can talk about your anxieties. That could be a good place to get to know each other...if you're comfortable talking about it.

Thank you. I'm probably going to do that.

We've both dealt with shitty roommates so far in college and have had bad anxiety over it. That's how we started talking because we found out we were on the same floor. She moved and I'm trying to. Now there's an opening for me... which just so happens to be on the floor she moved to. I may start talking to her about that and other things.

Edited by Scarecrow4774 on Oct 8th 2019 at 10:08:46 AM

Go for it! You'll be ok!

So I finally mustered up the courage to ask the girl if she wanted to see a movie sometime and she said she had to check for next week. She didn't say no, which is good, I think. I saw her again today and we had a good talk about pets and I made her smile... so it looks like things are looking up.

Bravo! Hope you two will still be in good terms.

Well, I moved to my crush's floor and we've seen each other a lot more. We've talked more to but... I don't know. She's very hard to read and I think she likes being around and talking to me, but I'm not sure if she knows I like her a lot. I'm trying not to overthink anything and not get so nervous this time around, but I just don't like the feeling of having a crush on a person and not knowing what they think of me. It's frustrating because I do like her a lot and I wanna hang out with her more, but I don't wanna overdo it.

There used to be a time I believed in romance. True love and all that stuff but it eroded in recent years. Now I'm...uhhh, I'm single and fine with it since I don't see myself in any serious, committed relationship.

But there was this one girl last decade I really liked and me and her were good friends tho tbh, I saw her as a Cool Big Sis in the end even if I had romantic feelings for her. Sadly, I didn't know her for too long and during Summer she passed away due to complicated surgeries.

I miss her to this day.

@Scare Think of her as a friend who you want to get to know more. It's understandable that your predicament is frustrating and overthinking it is a natural progression to this. Just remember that she probably feels the same about you but she doesn't know how to convey those feelings. Just do not put her on a pedastial because you'll end up disappointed. Keep hanging out with her and see what's going to happen forward on.

@Dhiruxide I am sorry for your loss. She must have been a very special person. It's ok to keep away from romance as long as you dont completely hate it. It's ok to be single as long as you know what you want. I wish you the best.

@Dhiruxide I am so sorry for your loss. Everything will turn out okay in the end.

@Marcen I'm just not sure right now. We talked a couple nights ago and she was smiling and I think tried to joke with me. But the past two days she's just looked down. I've been sick and she said she'll tell me what I missed in class but she looked down again. I know she has bad anxiety like me and I want her to know I'm here if she needs anything.

Tell her that. Tell her that she has a shoulder to lean on. Be as it as a friend for now. Show her that you care for her, whether talking or hugging it out.

So my friend gave me a Tarot reading today. They were talking about a love reading and I asked for one... The results were interesting. It boiled down to one thing: there's going to be a big change happening in my life. I'm not entirely sure if I believe in Tarot readings but it did get the fact that my crush is being very guarded bout something right now and they look stressed out. It also said I need to start showing that I'm interested in something more but I'm not sure what to do. And I'm still a bit on the fence about it.

Wondering if I'm just straight up gay now, or if I can only fall in love with guys. I feel both attraction to girls, but only for their looks, not anything romantic. I've felt a little tingle with some guys but I haven't really explored it.

According to my mum, I had a ton of girlfriends when I was young (before I was at least 8) but I don't remember any of them. Maybe that's why I'm not interested in dating anyone, or at least girls.

Edited by KingOfStickers on Oct 27th 2019 at 2:21:07 PM

I'm not sure what to make of this. Sometimes I keep seeing my crush giving me glances and her eyes wandering to me... Is that good? Cause she does it with an impassive face that I don't know if she's into me.... or wary of me? I get the feeling that she likes talking to me but that she is being very guarded around me sometimes. My mind keeps going to wary but that may just be nerves. I'm very confused by this. I'd be surprised if she was into me cause no one has ever been into me.

Her being guarded around you is likely not your fault. Usually people whom are guarded have been burned by others before you and that's why they are wary.

I would just keep going and try to be as supportive as you can while trying to not push her too hard. Chances are her glancing at you may be good but I still wouldn't push unless you know for sure that she is into you. Cross that bridge if you see it.

I actually gotten a feeling that she has been burned before and I feel like it was from a relationship... I don't know why I feel that. It's just one of those weird intuition I seem to have. But I do want to support her and I said if she ever needed anything she could talk to me about. She's just being guarded by something.

Sorry for the double post but this situation keeps confusing me. My crush keeps giving me looks and yesterday I think I saw her smile when she saw me. I waved and she waved back. And then last night we saw each other at dinner and after she saw me she talked to her and that friend quickly turned around in my direction. What the hell does any of this mean?

I'm going to be honest with you: it just means she's friendly and/or polite towards you. If you want to discover whether there's attraction there, you'll have to be more explicit yourself. Reading the tea leaves is never a fun or useful activity.

You can do this. And even if you discover that she was just friendly and/or polite, you'll feel better for having put yourself out there than you'd feel if you just stayed there trying to divine meaning from any small signal. Good luck!