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TheMike Bo "Jangles" Wyatt Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
#70376: Oct 12th 2013 at 9:12:28 PM

I have this nagging feeling I'm going to get rejected hard and that will sap any will I have to look elsewhere.

Not so much that I'm not looking, but rather, it kind of makes me lock up. [lol]

In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70377: Oct 12th 2013 at 9:16:07 PM

My rejection fear stems from just generally not being a positive person. I have this nagging feeling I'm going to get rejected hard and that will sap any will I have to look elsewhere.

Defeatism, thy name is Topo. [lol]

Well, look at it this way. >.<

Sounds like it already has sapped your will to look, to be honest. So if you do ask a woman out...either she'll drop you hard and you'll be in basically the same position you're in now, or she'll say yes (or decline you gratiously) and you'll have some reason to rethink your outlook.

'Tis a bit of a plunge, Top-kun; no bones about that. >.< I'm betting it's worth it though. grin

edited 12th Oct '13 9:16:32 PM by EgregiousOne

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70378: Oct 12th 2013 at 9:20:59 PM

Sounds it already has sapped your will to look, to be honest.
Talk about hitting the nail on the head. [lol] It certainly has me feeling shit scared of even approaching girls.

But your perspective is a better one to have. I just need to slowly convince myself that, or, jump in head first one day in a moment of madness and see what happens. [lol]

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
joeyjojo Happy New Year! from South Sydney: go the bunnies! Since: Jan, 2001
Happy New Year!
#70379: Oct 12th 2013 at 9:24:25 PM

It took some persuasion, but I've begun to reconsider my opinion that a relationship that ends is a failed relationship.

Good to hear. I know it's easy to think that the acceptance of romantic breakup as a insidious cancerous symptom of our increasingly easy divorce disposable short term society, but it does a disservice to you and your experiences to automatically think of an ended relationship as a failed one.

Just because something is no longer with us doesn't mean it's not a successfully in it's own way. Just think of firefly or the Star Wars Prequels. Which do you think of more fondly?

Hell even in till death do us part societies, a Widow's relationship is not seem as 'a failure' despite it being clearly over between her and dearly departed.

Hopefully anyway.

^ That's the spirit. They say a man who lives in fears, dies in the company of regret after all.

edited 12th Oct '13 9:27:16 PM by joeyjojo

hashtagsarestupid
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70380: Oct 12th 2013 at 9:31:54 PM

Talk about hitting the nail on the head. [lol] It certainly has me feeling shit scared of even approaching girls.

But your perspective is a better one to have. I just need to slowly convince myself that, or, jump in head first one day in a moment of madness and see what happens. [lol]

I have some idea what to say because I say it to myself all the time. [lol]

Nah, you're right to be afraid. I think you're a very fine man with great prospects, but it's still a very ruthless game whatever your merits are. >.< Key's to not let it get to you. I spent something like three hours staring at this guy's page trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say, and clicking "Send" was...terrifying. >.< I experienced a moment of panic where I wanted to reach in and grab the outgoing message before it could get to him. [lol]

"Moment of madness" is right. Or maybe it's a moment of clarity, I don't know. Time will tell. [lol] Just remember my last signature quote before this one:

Even if you lose, you win if you feel good. It's a game afterall. A game isn't there to entertain you. You enjoy the game yourself.~Marisa Kirisame

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70381: Oct 13th 2013 at 12:20:43 AM

I have some idea what to say because I say it to myself all the time. [lol]
For the record, you exude a confidence that makes it hard for me to believe that you need to repeat this to yourself. [lol] But that's no different from people telling me I appear aloofly confident in myself and me resisting the urge to laugh at the very thought, I guess. [lol]

Nah, you're right to be afraid. I think you're a very fine man with great prospects, but it's still a very ruthless game whatever your merits are. >.< Key's to not let it get to you. I spent something like three hours staring at this guy's page trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say, and clicking "Send" was...terrifying. >.< I experienced a moment of panic where I wanted to reach in and grab the outgoing message before it could get to him. [lol]
I have the utmost respect for you for going through with it. It's resulted in more communication, so that's obviously a sign that you did the right thing!

Ruthlessness is hard to get used to, even you fully understand it, when you're simply not a very ruthless person. It doesn't help that this year has simply destroyed a lot of my confidence. I don't like making excuses for cowardice, but I'd be lying to myself if I considered this year a positive one thus far. From deaths, to extreme stress, breakdowns and, to top it off, that bloody kidney stone, it's like someone it out to get me.

I used to be a much more positive person in general, if you can believe it, but a series of unfortunate deaths and other stressing event the past three to four years has taught me that I'm a mentally strong person that can handle much more than many. But, at the same time, it's turned happiness into a more or less foreign concept when it used to be part and parcel of life.

It's a very scary thing when you realise that you just can't imagine happy things happening because, hey, sometimes they do. This has to be related with my rather defeatist attitude on romance. It has to be.

Just remember my last signature quote before this one:
I did always like that one. And it's from the mouth of Marisa too. [lol]

EDIT: This turned out a lot more vent-y than intended. Sorry.

edited 13th Oct '13 12:24:19 AM by TopographicOcean

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
SmytheOrdo Wide Eyed Wonderman from In The Mountains Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Wide Eyed Wonderman
#70382: Oct 13th 2013 at 12:32:55 AM

well....i dont feel one bit worried. my girl loves me for shit others hated about me(how afectionate I am, my love of gaming, my sexual pride)....so i'm not scared of her cheating or fighting with me over dumb crap.

David Bowie 1947-2016
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70383: Oct 13th 2013 at 6:46:53 AM

[up][up]That would definitely explain a certain amount of defeatism, Clonebro. sad I'm sorry to hear life's been that rough on you.

All I can say to that is keep fighting, because ridiculously bad luck can only last for so long. Someday you're going to find your footing again, Top-kun. And quite possibly there'll be a fine, intelligent, spirited lady with huge tracts of land waiting on the other side. grin

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70384: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:01:33 AM

All I can say to that is keep fighting, because ridiculously bad luck can only last for so long.
That's what I've been telling myself. [lol] I'm hoping that graduating was the light at the end of the tunnel and the kidney stone two days later was a small pothole on the road to slightly happier times.

And quite possibly there'll be a fine, intelligent, spirited lady with huge tracts of land waiting on the other side. grin
Fingers crossed? [lol]

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70385: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:18:41 AM

That's what I've been telling myself. [lol] I'm hoping that graduating was the light at the end of the tunnel and the kidney stone two days later was a small pothole on the road to slightly happier times.
Graduating was one heck of a victory. grin The kidney stone...I'm going to chalk that one up to spite. >.< "He's getting away! Fine, have one for the road!". evil grin

Fingers crossed? [lol]
Fingers crossed and rapier oiled. evil grin

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70386: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:31:38 AM

The kidney stone...I'm going to chalk that one up to spite. >.<
Most painful spite ever. [lol]

And rapier oiled, huh? [lol]

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70387: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:33:20 AM

I ship it already: Top-kun/Top-Heavy. grin[lol]

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
TAPETRVE from The city of Vlurxtrznbnaxl Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
#70388: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:34:58 AM

[up][awesome][tup]

Fear the cinnamon sugar swirl. By the Gods, fear it, Laurence.
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70389: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:37:56 AM

Top-heavy, o where art thou? [lol]

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
TAPETRVE from The city of Vlurxtrznbnaxl Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
#70390: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:39:18 AM

Just keep in mind that large boobs tend to get saggy over time. One day she might be more like knee-height-heavy [lol] .

Fear the cinnamon sugar swirl. By the Gods, fear it, Laurence.
KylerThatch literary masochist Since: Jan, 2001
literary masochist
#70391: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:42:36 AM

Point in favor of flat chests? tongue

This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70392: Oct 13th 2013 at 7:44:11 AM

[up][up] I know, I know. tongue

I'd like to think I like this hypothetical girl for far more than just looks. [lol]

[up] Arguably! [lol]

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
TAPETRVE from The city of Vlurxtrznbnaxl Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
#70393: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:10:21 AM

Point in favour of a well-balanced figure, I'd say grin .

Fear the cinnamon sugar swirl. By the Gods, fear it, Laurence.
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70394: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:15:15 AM

Makes me glad I'm gay. [lol] Pecs don't degenerate with age.

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
MidnightRambler Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan! from Germania Inferior Since: Mar, 2011
Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan!
#70395: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:15:40 AM

So. I just installed Tinder.

I don't know if I'm going to keep it long - every time I hit "No", part of me feels like a dick, and when I hit "Yes", another part feels like a creep. On the other hand, everyone on there has agreed to do this meat market thing, and it's not like anyone is pretending a like or dislike means a whole lot.

One thing Tinder does is make you painfully conscious of your own biases and prejudices - the things you assume about a person's interests, personality and intelligence based on one single picture of them. For example, a bikini pic on some sunny beach will make me think "Jersey Shore airhead with nothing to say" while a similar picture with a mountain or forest in the background will make me estimate her as a much more classy and intelligent girl. Artsy black-and-white portraits also pique my interest for some reason, whereas oversized sunglasses are pretty much an instant Nope.

Everyone makes assumptions based on a shallow first impression, of course. But Tinder forces you to make a very black-and-white decision based on those assumptions. A psychologist would have a field day with it.

Mache dich, mein Herze, rein...
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70396: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:20:13 AM

-looks up Tinder-

Hoo boy. [lol]

Couldn't pay me to use it, but I can see some utility with it.

It's interestingly casual.

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70397: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:24:19 AM

Going primarily by profile pictures is a real crapshoot; somebody can like the way you look but still be a really terrible match. That sums up 95% of my interactions on OkCupid. >.<

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70398: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:36:38 AM

Still waiting on a second reply. That pretty rogue's probably too busy playing Pokémon X and Y to bother with dating sites for a while. >.< [lol]

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#70399: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:44:37 AM

He's a pretty rogue, you say? [lol]

I don't blame him; I've been playing for most of the night. tongue

Also, I'm trying to plan scheduled trips to the local for writing purposes. Probably a weekly thing so as to not burn out the creative muscle. Hopefully I can use to my advantage on the social front. I was surprised by the amount of people that came over to my little corner of the bar to talk to me specifically last time I did it. [lol]

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY
EgregiousOne Dark Master of Stairs from the Mancave of Despair Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Too sexy for my shirt
Dark Master of Stairs
#70400: Oct 13th 2013 at 8:54:17 AM

He's a pretty rogue, you say? [lol]
He is, he is. Bit more on the manly side than my usual fare, but definitely pretty. More of a biseinen than a bishonen. grin

Also, I'm trying to plan scheduled trips to the local for writing purposes. Probably a weekly thing so as to not burn out the creative muscle. Hopefully I can use to my advantage on the social front. I was surprised by the amount of people that came over to my little corner of the bar to talk to me specifically last time I did it. [lol]
That sounds like a fine way to generate some interest! grin Who's going to say no to an intellectual, never mind one in a sharp suit?

"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara

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