Defeatism, thy name is Topo. ![]()
Well, look at it this way. >.<
Sounds like it already has sapped your will to look, to be honest. So if you do ask a woman out...either she'll drop you hard and you'll be in basically the same position you're in now, or she'll say yes (or decline you gratiously) and you'll have some reason to rethink your outlook.
'Tis a bit of a plunge, Top-kun; no bones about that. >.< I'm betting it's worth it though.
edited 12th Oct '13 9:16:32 PM by EgregiousOne
"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke SagaraBut your perspective is a better one to have. I just need to slowly convince myself that, or, jump in head first one day in a moment of madness and see what happens.
Good to hear. I know it's easy to think that the acceptance of romantic breakup as a insidious cancerous symptom of our increasingly easy divorce disposable short term society, but it does a disservice to you and your experiences to automatically think of an ended relationship as a failed one.
Just because something is no longer with us doesn't mean it's not a successfully in it's own way. Just think of firefly or the Star Wars Prequels. Which do you think of more fondly?
Hell even in till death do us part societies, a Widow's relationship is not seem as 'a failure' despite it being clearly over between her and dearly departed.
^ That's the spirit. They say a man who lives in fears, dies in the company of regret after all.
edited 12th Oct '13 9:27:16 PM by joeyjojo
hashtagsarestupidBut your perspective is a better one to have. I just need to slowly convince myself that, or, jump in head first one day in a moment of madness and see what happens. ![]()
Nah, you're right to be afraid. I think you're a very fine man with great prospects, but it's still a very ruthless game whatever your merits are. >.< Key's to not let it get to you. I spent something like three hours staring at this guy's page trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say, and clicking "Send" was...terrifying. >.< I experienced a moment of panic where I wanted to reach in and grab the outgoing message before it could get to him.
"Moment of madness" is right. Or maybe it's a moment of clarity, I don't know. Time will tell.
Just remember my last signature quote before this one:
Ruthlessness is hard to get used to, even you fully understand it, when you're simply not a very ruthless person. It doesn't help that this year has simply destroyed a lot of my confidence. I don't like making excuses for cowardice, but I'd be lying to myself if I considered this year a positive one thus far. From deaths, to extreme stress, breakdowns and, to top it off, that bloody kidney stone, it's like someone it out to get me.
I used to be a much more positive person in general, if you can believe it, but a series of unfortunate deaths and other stressing event the past three to four years has taught me that I'm a mentally strong person that can handle much more than many. But, at the same time, it's turned happiness into a more or less foreign concept when it used to be part and parcel of life.
It's a very scary thing when you realise that you just can't imagine happy things happening because, hey, sometimes they do. This has to be related with my rather defeatist attitude on romance. It has to be.
EDIT: This turned out a lot more vent-y than intended. Sorry.
edited 13th Oct '13 12:24:19 AM by TopographicOcean
YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY![]()
That would definitely explain a certain amount of defeatism, Clonebro.
I'm sorry to hear life's been that rough on you.
All I can say to that is keep fighting, because ridiculously bad luck can only last for so long. Someday you're going to find your footing again, Top-kun. And quite possibly there'll be a fine, intelligent, spirited lady with huge tracts of land waiting on the other side.
So. I just installed Tinder.
I don't know if I'm going to keep it long - every time I hit "No", part of me feels like a dick, and when I hit "Yes", another part feels like a creep. On the other hand, everyone on there has agreed to do this meat market thing, and it's not like anyone is pretending a like or dislike means a whole lot.
One thing Tinder does is make you painfully conscious of your own biases and prejudices - the things you assume about a person's interests, personality and intelligence based on one single picture of them. For example, a bikini pic on some sunny beach will make me think "Jersey Shore airhead with nothing to say" while a similar picture with a mountain or forest in the background will make me estimate her as a much more classy and intelligent girl. Artsy black-and-white portraits also pique my interest for some reason, whereas oversized sunglasses are pretty much an instant Nope.
Everyone makes assumptions based on a shallow first impression, of course. But Tinder forces you to make a very black-and-white decision based on those assumptions. A psychologist would have a field day with it.
Mache dich, mein Herze, rein...He's a pretty rogue, you say?
I don't blame him; I've been playing for most of the night.
Also, I'm trying to plan scheduled trips to the local for writing purposes. Probably a weekly thing so as to not burn out the creative muscle. Hopefully I can use to my advantage on the social front. I was surprised by the amount of people that came over to my little corner of the bar to talk to me specifically last time I did it.

Not so much that I'm not looking, but rather, it kind of makes me lock up.
In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...