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Conumbra Since: Dec, 2009
#61076: Jun 3rd 2013 at 1:33:47 PM

I am still kind of mystified that people treat having the "just friends" talk as being some kind of mystical barrier to ever having a deeper relationship with someone.

Being friends is awesome! Also, people's feelings change, so they might change their minds regarding that topic. But they never will if you act like an entitled asshole.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#61077: Jun 3rd 2013 at 1:36:07 PM

Yeah, that actually happened with me. Well, to be specific, a guy had a crush on me, and I saw him as a friend. He never told me, was completely nice to me and a great friend, I never knew, and months later I developed a crush on him. We've been dating for a year now.

Read my stories!
Conumbra Since: Dec, 2009
#61078: Jun 3rd 2013 at 1:40:23 PM

Huh, happened to me too. I actually got up the nerve to ask the friend out, was initially accepted, but then later rejected the next day once he'd had time to think about it.

Then later on, he asked me and we are coming up on 5 months now.

[up]Also because my brain apparently forgets well deserved compliments, congratulations.

edited 3rd Jun '13 1:48:17 PM by Conumbra

cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#61079: Jun 3rd 2013 at 1:48:55 PM

You can also be "friendzoned" and end up, surprise; finding another great lady who actually reciprocates your feelings! That's what happened to me. It's just not as bad as people like to complain it is.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#61080: Jun 3rd 2013 at 1:50:47 PM

Conumbra: Thank ye kindly :P

Cute: I think it's hard for people to think long term when the short term looks bleak. Kinda like when you're given a lot of homework.

edited 3rd Jun '13 1:51:16 PM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
TParadox Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: The captain of her heart
#61081: Jun 3rd 2013 at 2:36:27 PM

I don't at all want to take away from the narrative that people who cry about the friendzone need to either enjoy what they have or move on, but it occurs to me that there's a side we're missing here. Yes, the party that wants to date should be clear about their intentions, but the party that does not should be clear about that too. If you suspect at all that there might be a disconnect in intentions, and you're not doing anything to quash the issue before it gets out of hand, you're stringing your friend along. Holding on to a broken friendship because you don't want to lose a friend is just going to damage them.

Fresh-eyed movie blog
Mukora Uniocular from a place Since: Jan, 2010 Relationship Status: I made a point to burn all of the photographs
Uniocular
#61082: Jun 3rd 2013 at 2:55:50 PM

There is also the fact that some people (moi, pour example) don't develop romantic feelings for people until they get to know them. So you can't really be "up-front about your intentions" if you don't know what those are.

"It's so hard to be humble, knowing how great I am."
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#61083: Jun 3rd 2013 at 2:58:56 PM

TP: That is definitely an issue, but I say it's sort of a separate issue. A facet of the whole "let's be friend" thing, but not necessarily the friendzone v. "let's be friends" part

Read my stories!
RedM Since: Oct, 2012 Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
#61084: Jun 3rd 2013 at 5:07:36 PM

Booya! Got a date for this Saturday! I was talking to this girl yesterday and just as she said, "I should get going," I asked her out. She said yes, and then we talked for like another twenty minutes anyway. That's a good sign, when she makes time to just talk and laugh with you.smile

I actually have a lot more game with the ladies than I give myself credit for. I just need to remember not to get hung up on any particular girl and to not worry about having a future with anyone. I just need to go out and have fun just going on dates, and eventually, I'll be at the stage in my life where things can get a little more serious.

From March 2012 to last month, I was totally hung up on this one girl who never responded to my texts. And then I realized, "Oh, duh. This means she doesn't like me the way I like her, so- Oh, yep, there it is, she has a boyfriend." And suddenly the wide world of women was reopened to me, and I was free. So for now, Red be all like, "dang girls, y'all best get in line, I'm a busy man, I got Tv Tropes posts to make, but I think I can squeeze y'all in."

The very best, like no one ever was. Check out my Spider-Man fanfic here! [1]
Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#61085: Jun 3rd 2013 at 6:37:52 PM

Had lunch with nursing student before going to work. This girl is super cool, but holy crap she looks like a saint compared to me. She's going to school, and her two jobs are being a medical assistant in a doctors office and working with developmentally disabled kids. She totally makes me look like a dispassionate asshole.

Which isn't surprising, lots of people make me look like a dispassionate asshole, but she's really good at it. tongue

Seems to like me ok though, and I definitely like her. With how busy her schedule is, she has to, because her free time is so few and far between. I'm really happy she's decided to spend some of it with me and give it a shot.

Ninety Absolutely no relation to NLK from Land of Quakes and Hills Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: In Spades with myself
Absolutely no relation to NLK
#61086: Jun 3rd 2013 at 7:04:58 PM

Glad for you, man. This the one whose pic you posted before?

Dopants: He meant what he said and he said what he meant, a Ninety is faithful 100%.
Mukora Uniocular from a place Since: Jan, 2010 Relationship Status: I made a point to burn all of the photographs
Uniocular
#61087: Jun 3rd 2013 at 7:27:51 PM

I'm really glad for you man. Hope it goes well.

Oh, and try not to compare yourself to her. If she likes you, and you like her, that's all that matters.

"It's so hard to be humble, knowing how great I am."
Ninety Absolutely no relation to NLK from Land of Quakes and Hills Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: In Spades with myself
Absolutely no relation to NLK
#61088: Jun 3rd 2013 at 7:44:02 PM

So this girl I'm friends with and I have spent a lot of time together lately. I've driven her home from college a couple of times, and today we had lunch together. We've really hit it off. Don't have anything planned, but I am not averse to starting something.

Dopants: He meant what he said and he said what he meant, a Ninety is faithful 100%.
OriDoodle Mom Lady from East of West Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Consider his love an honor
#61089: Jun 3rd 2013 at 9:40:21 PM

Don't rush it ninety. Go for more lunch. Coffee cna easily turn into a dinner date if you chat long enough ;)

Red that sounds awesome.

Barkey too. Yay positive romancing!

edited 3rd Jun '13 9:40:42 PM by OriDoodle

Doodles
cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#61090: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:26:07 PM

I love seeing positive stuff about romance here! It's rejuvenating. Change of pace, really.

Also, looking back at my comments about friendzoning, I'm kind of laughing at myself; around a year and a half ago, I was really bummed about being "friendzoned", and kind of whined about it a bit in this thread. Haha, I wasn't really creepy about it though. I was just kind of too sad over it.

I look back and kind of just... shake my head about it. I was so immature back then. Or rather, not entirely emotionally stable back then, due to the situation I was in at that time in my life. I'm better now, and I'm out of that abusive situation almost completely, so I look back and feel so proud about how much I've changed.

And it's also funny because the friendzoning I was whining about was at the hands of Bellacide. Erika if you read this I am so sorry for how much whining I did back then! I'm so much better now, haha.

Bellacide trigger warning: bitch from Texashire Since: Apr, 2012
trigger warning: bitch
#61091: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:28:18 PM

And,im sorry for being a botch and lying to you whike I wad uneder thr ingluence. I told you I liked you whole I was DDR unk ar ihop. Thts no cool. I love you B OUT IM NOT UN LOVE YOU Y I KNOW YHAT. But its also a lil ironic b/c im drunk rn. Im sorry ok

bye
kay4today Princess Ymir's knightess from Austria Since: Jan, 2011
Princess Ymir's knightess
#61092: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:30:49 PM

Bella's name is Erika? That's a pretty name. :3

Bellacide trigger warning: bitch from Texashire Since: Apr, 2012
trigger warning: bitch
#61093: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:31:38 PM

YEAH IT IS WANNA FIGHT ABOTU IT

bye
cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#61094: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:32:53 PM

SHHH DON'T TELL ANYONE K Ay

and it's cool bella, i think in the long run what happened actually made me a better person in romance anywayayays. or at least a stronger heart. 's all good, homie. cool

kay4today Princess Ymir's knightess from Austria Since: Jan, 2011
Princess Ymir's knightess
#61095: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:32:54 PM

[up][up] N-No. Sorry... :c

edited 3rd Jun '13 11:33:05 PM by kay4today

cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#61096: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:33:19 PM

ILL FIGHT YOU WITH MY ARMS TIED BEHIND MY BACK

IM A REAL MAN RAWR

kay4today Princess Ymir's knightess from Austria Since: Jan, 2011
Princess Ymir's knightess
#61097: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:34:17 PM

Okay, I can fight you if your arms are tied behind your back. :3

Bellacide trigger warning: bitch from Texashire Since: Apr, 2012
trigger warning: bitch
#61098: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:36:32 PM

No dobt tie my arms behind my back

Ill get rly titned on nooo

bye
cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#61099: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:36:58 PM

...titned on

what

TopographicOcean A Pathetic from the colo Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
A Pathetic
#61100: Jun 3rd 2013 at 11:37:51 PM

That sounds vaguely relevant to my interests... But not at the same time.

YUUGI WANTS YOU FOR DRINKING BUDDY

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