We try to kill SCP-682

Result: First phase failed (all it really did was give it an intense craving for bread); second phase cancelled (too much risk of collateral damage).

Test: Shove 682 through the large end of SCP-786, then attempt to run it over with a tank.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 went rapid cell generation after being placed through large end, gave what seemed to be a "derisive snort" directed at the tank, and proceeded to inflict [[DATA EXPUNGED.]]

Test: Send SCP-682 through SCP-093.

Hey, I had the same idea.

Result: Failure. 682 was sent through and the portal was broken. however, SCP-093 later went missing from containment and was found on a mirror in [REDACTED]. SCP-682 appeared out of the mirror, having [DATA EXPUNGED]. Area was sealed and all staff terminated to eliminate any trace of [DATA EXPUNGED].

Test: Shoot SCP-682 in the head withThe Colt.

Result: 682 broke free from it's restraints and [DATA EXPUNGED] until [DATA EXPUNGED]. It didn't work.

Test: Trap it inside SCP-100.

Result: Failure. It doesn't fit.

Test: Input "Something that can kill SCP-682" into SCP-294, but do not press enter. Have a D-class personnel carry SCP-294 into SCP-682's holding pen and press the Enter button once inside.

result: Failure. Once SCP-294 was transported to SCP-682's holding cell and activated, it displayed an "Out Of Range" message. The D-Class was terminated by SCP-682, who gingerly pushed sCP-294 towards the exit and allowed D-Class personnel to remove the machine without attacking them. The creature was heard ordering them to "Never bring that [UNINTELLIGIBLE] into my sight again."

Test: Insert the following into SCP-914, but do not activate: One (1) copy Final Fantasy XIII, one forklift. Bring SCP-682 to 914's chamber, then activate on Very Fine and allow the output to deal with it.

Hey, if the machine spat out a [REDACTED] powerful enough to easily breach containment last time, why not make a new one and put it to use on something of similar power? —Dr. Dawson.

edited 5th Jul '10 2:07:28 PM by SullenFrog

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-682 is not to be subjected to anything 914 related ever again.

Test: Expose SCP-682 to SCP-777-j and SCP-10101 at the same time

edited 6th Jul '10 8:25:57 AM by gumbal1

Result: Failure. 10101 refused to exert any effort, while 777-J's blows were almost all deflected, causing minor scars. 682 was observed coming to full recovery five (5) minutes after experiment was terminated.

Test: Exposure of SCP-682 to SCP-231-7.

[EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]

Dr. Clef: No SCP is ever permitted interaction with 231-7. Too much risk of an XK event.

Test: Seal 682 inside SCP-002.

I know, I just wanted to be the one to suggest that. XD

Result: Failure. SCP-682 was observed exiting SCP-002 with legs resembling those of a very large chair. Subject regained normal limbs within fourteen (14) hours.

Test: Exposure of SCP-682 to SCP-029 and a single child's doll. All doors and airlocks to SCP-029's containment chamber will be sealed once subject is introduced; the two female D-class personnel will be instructed to remain in containment.

edited 6th Jul '10 9:35:31 AM by JuiceBoxHero

Result: Rather than strangling 682, 029 attempted to use 682 as weapon until [DATA EXPUNGED].

Note from Dr.Clef: "what kind of idiot thought 682 could be strangled?"

Test: Launch it into the sun with a giant catapult.

Result: Came back on fire.

Test: Starve it to death.

Result: 682 wrapped itself in a cocoon; after which everyone in a radius of over [REDACTED] miles experienced a large drop in energy. The heroic "sacrifice" of [DATA EXPUNGED] shall not be forgotten.

Test: Feed it a candy from scp-983.

edited 13th Jul '10 8:40:43 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Result: no effect.

Test: convince SCP 239 that it does not exist.

Test result: Failure. Nothing happened beyond 682 flickering for a few seconds before it angrily tried to breach containment.

Test: Drive/lure/dump/etc. SCP 682 as far into SCP-883 as is humanly possible.

Result: 5 minutes later, SCP-883 exploded, leaving a shower of dead bees, fragments of an ordinary beehive, a VERY pissed off SCP-682 covered in welts and a spatio-temporal anomaly consisting of [DATA EXPUNGED].

Oh thanks a LOT. We just LOST AN SCP you [EXPLETIVE] idiots! Good thing this topic isn't necessarily canon! -Dr. Clef

Bees creep me out. I WANTED SCP-682 to destroy it just to keep me from having any nightmares. Like the post says, this isn't canon, so it should be okay right?

Experiment: Trap SCP-682 in the same room as SCP-183

edited 16th Jul '10 3:48:22 AM by iTroper

Experiment canceled.

Comment: Are you insane!? Why would you do that to Saint?!

Experiment: instead of trying to destroy 682, we be very nice to it so it does not want to escape.

(Are you sure you got the right SCP? 183 is the invisible thing that puts up webs of razor-sharp wires.)

Test: Pit 682 against Dr.Clef; He can totally win...

[DENIED} — Done Before

Since this is all noncanon, let's try the Blood Pool again.... Please?

Result: Failure. 682 "Mated" with one of the creatures and somehow managed to lay eggs. Eggs proved susceptible to fire.

''No, just... no."-Dr.[REDACTED]

Test: Hurl it into space.

result: Failure. While sCP-682 was successfully launched into space and was observed expiring from explosive decompression, it reappeared outside of the launch base, demonstrating both the ability to manipulate its own presure regardless of the external presure, as well as the ability to breathe in space.

...What? "Breathe in space? What sort of malarkey is this? Who penned this report?! —Dr. Dawson

Test: Sequester SCP-682 within SCP-173's container, install automated turrets that will target only SCP-682 and are loaded with prodigious magazines of randomized armour-piercing, antitank and antipersonnel rounds, and then terminate surveillance for a period of 72 hours.

ADDENDUM: Be sure to install the turrets before trying to force SCP-682 into that room; last time someone followed the instructions for a similar procedure to the letter, rather than the intent. —Dr. Dawson

Result: 682 somehow managed control of the turrets and reprogrammed them to fire on researchers. Luckily, medical officers were on hand, as well as an ample supply of class-D members.

Test: Subject it to TV Tropes. At least this might ruin it's life....

edited 20th Jul '10 9:14:28 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Result: Server crashed, [REDACTED] casualties sustained. TV Tropes is no longer a viable asset to recruit personnel.

Subjects: One hundred thousand self-titled "fangirls". Gathered via standard D-Class protocol, modified to draw personnel from site "Live Journal" and similar sites known to attract self-titled "fangirls".

Test: "Fangirls" administered [REDACTED] and were given literary materials of SCP-682 of a romantic nature. Fangirls then released into 682's primary containment cell.

edited 21st Jul '10 4:47:50 AM by JackMackerel

Result: Partial failure. The fangirls were destroyed just as easily as any other human. However, 682 refused to touch or even approach the literary material; further research into its use as a containment method is advised.

Test: Trap 682 inside a particle accelerator.

edited 21st Jul '10 1:02:55 PM by RTHSFF