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RTHSFF Kori Dómtlandsson
Kori Dómtlandsson
Jul 4th 2010 at 8:35:53 PM

Result: First phase failed (all it really did was give it an intense craving for bread); second phase cancelled (too much risk of collateral damage).

Test: Shove 682 through the large end of SCP-786, then attempt to run it over with a tank.

"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeeche
Chubert highly secure from California
highly secure
Jul 4th 2010 at 9:30:52 PM

Result: Failure. SCP-682 went rapid cell generation after being placed through large end, gave what seemed to be a "derisive snort" directed at the tank, and proceeded to inflict [[DATA EXPUNGED.]]

Test: Send SCP-682 through SCP-093.

Whatcha gonna do, little buckaroo? | i be pimpin' madoka fics
MadeOfAxes Not Literally Me
Not Literally Me
Jul 5th 2010 at 11:11:13 AM

Hey, I had the same idea.

Result: Failure. 682 was sent through and the portal was broken. however, SCP-093 later went missing from containment and was found on a mirror in [REDACTED]. SCP-682 appeared out of the mirror, having [DATA EXPUNGED]. Area was sealed and all staff terminated to eliminate any trace of [DATA EXPUNGED].

Test: Shoot SCP-682 in the head withThe Colt.

"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jul 5th 2010 at 12:07:57 PM

Result: 682 broke free from it's restraints and [DATA EXPUNGED] until [DATA EXPUNGED]. It didn't work.

Test: Trap it inside SCP-100.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
VampireBuddha Hungry dinosaur from Ireland Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Hungry dinosaur
Jul 5th 2010 at 1:38:59 PM

Result: Failure. It doesn't fit.

Test: Input "Something that can kill SCP-682" into SCP-294, but do not press enter. Have a D-class personnel carry SCP-294 into SCP-682's holding pen and press the Enter button once inside.

SullenFrog Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise! from Voormithadreth Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
Jul 5th 2010 at 2:05:08 PM

result: Failure. Once SCP-294 was transported to SCP-682's holding cell and activated, it displayed an "Out Of Range" message. The D-Class was terminated by SCP-682, who gingerly pushed sCP-294 towards the exit and allowed D-Class personnel to remove the machine without attacking them. The creature was heard ordering them to "Never bring that [UNINTELLIGIBLE] into my sight again."

Test: Insert the following into SCP-914, but do not activate: One (1) copy Final Fantasy XIII, one forklift. Bring SCP-682 to 914's chamber, then activate on Very Fine and allow the output to deal with it.

Hey, if the machine spat out a [REDACTED] powerful enough to easily breach containment last time, why not make a new one and put it to use on something of similar power? —Dr. Dawson.

edited 5th Jul '10 2:07:28 PM by SullenFrog

The Danse Macabre Codex
gumbal1 Cool Person from Glass Housing
Cool Person
Jul 6th 2010 at 8:21:22 AM

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-682 is not to be subjected to anything 914 related ever again.

Test: Expose SCP-682 to SCP-777-j and SCP-10101 at the same time

edited 6th Jul '10 8:25:57 AM by gumbal1

Signatures are for squares.
JuiceBoxHero from the butthole of Texas
Jul 6th 2010 at 9:09:55 AM

Result: Failure. 10101 refused to exert any effort, while 777-J's blows were almost all deflected, causing minor scars. 682 was observed coming to full recovery five (5) minutes after experiment was terminated.

Test: Exposure of SCP-682 to SCP-231-7.

Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jul 6th 2010 at 9:19:53 AM

[EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]

Dr. Clef: No SCP is ever permitted interaction with 231-7. Too much risk of an XK event.

Test: Seal 682 inside SCP-002.

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
JuiceBoxHero from the butthole of Texas
Jul 6th 2010 at 9:32:20 AM

I know, I just wanted to be the one to suggest that. XD

Result: Failure. SCP-682 was observed exiting SCP-002 with legs resembling those of a very large chair. Subject regained normal limbs within fourteen (14) hours.

Test: Exposure of SCP-682 to SCP-029 and a single child's doll. All doors and airlocks to SCP-029's containment chamber will be sealed once subject is introduced; the two female D-class personnel will be instructed to remain in containment.

edited 6th Jul '10 9:35:31 AM by JuiceBoxHero

TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jul 11th 2010 at 9:45:34 PM

Result: Rather than strangling 682, 029 attempted to use 682 as weapon until [DATA EXPUNGED].

Note from Dr.Clef: "what kind of idiot thought 682 could be strangled?"

Test: Launch it into the sun with a giant catapult.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
Jul 11th 2010 at 10:20:52 PM

Result: Came back on fire.

Test: Starve it to death.

TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jul 13th 2010 at 8:40:23 PM

Result: 682 wrapped itself in a cocoon; after which everyone in a radius of over [REDACTED] miles experienced a large drop in energy. The heroic "sacrifice" of [DATA EXPUNGED] shall not be forgotten.

Test: Feed it a candy from scp-983.

edited 13th Jul '10 8:40:43 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
Quantumawsome By the power of geek! from Spacetime Relationship Status: Non-Canon
By the power of geek!
Jul 14th 2010 at 2:03:56 PM

Result: no effect.

Test: convince SCP 239 that it does not exist.

Look at me still talking when there's science to do
Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jul 14th 2010 at 8:15:46 PM

Test result: Failure. Nothing happened beyond 682 flickering for a few seconds before it angrily tried to breach containment.

Test: Drive/lure/dump/etc. SCP 682 as far into SCP-883 as is humanly possible.

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
iTroper from BC, Canada
Jul 16th 2010 at 3:48:03 AM

Result: 5 minutes later, SCP-883 exploded, leaving a shower of dead bees, fragments of an ordinary beehive, a VERY pissed off SCP-682 covered in welts and a spatio-temporal anomaly consisting of [DATA EXPUNGED].

Oh thanks a LOT. We just LOST AN SCP you [EXPLETIVE] idiots! Good thing this topic isn't necessarily canon! -Dr. Clef

Bees creep me out. I WANTED SCP-682 to destroy it just to keep me from having any nightmares. Like the post says, this isn't canon, so it should be okay right?

Experiment: Trap SCP-682 in the same room as SCP-183

edited 16th Jul '10 3:48:22 AM by iTroper

Quantumawsome By the power of geek! from Spacetime Relationship Status: Non-Canon
By the power of geek!
Jul 16th 2010 at 5:39:00 AM

Experiment canceled.

Comment: Are you insane!? Why would you do that to Saint?!

Experiment: instead of trying to destroy 682, we be very nice to it so it does not want to escape.

Look at me still talking when there's science to do
iTroper from BC, Canada
Jul 16th 2010 at 9:22:58 AM

(Are you sure you got the right SCP? 183 is the invisible thing that puts up webs of razor-sharp wires.)

TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jul 17th 2010 at 9:25:25 PM

Test: Pit 682 against Dr.Clef; He can totally win...

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jul 17th 2010 at 9:28:20 PM

[DENIED} — Done Before

Since this is all noncanon, let's try the Blood Pool again.... Please?

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
gumbal1 Cool Person from Glass Housing
Cool Person
Jul 19th 2010 at 5:41:24 PM

Result: Failure. 682 "Mated" with one of the creatures and somehow managed to lay eggs. Eggs proved susceptible to fire.

''No, just... no."-Dr.[REDACTED]

Test: Hurl it into space.

Signatures are for squares.
SullenFrog Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise! from Voormithadreth Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
Jul 19th 2010 at 6:01:54 PM

result: Failure. While sCP-682 was successfully launched into space and was observed expiring from explosive decompression, it reappeared outside of the launch base, demonstrating both the ability to manipulate its own presure regardless of the external presure, as well as the ability to breathe in space.

...What? "Breathe in space? What sort of malarkey is this? Who penned this report?! —Dr. Dawson

Test: Sequester SCP-682 within SCP-173's container, install automated turrets that will target only SCP-682 and are loaded with prodigious magazines of randomized armour-piercing, antitank and antipersonnel rounds, and then terminate surveillance for a period of 72 hours.

ADDENDUM: Be sure to install the turrets before trying to force SCP-682 into that room; last time someone followed the instructions for a similar procedure to the letter, rather than the intent. —Dr. Dawson

The Danse Macabre Codex
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jul 20th 2010 at 9:14:06 PM

Result: 682 somehow managed control of the turrets and reprogrammed them to fire on researchers. Luckily, medical officers were on hand, as well as an ample supply of class-D members.

Test: Subject it to Tv Tropes. At least this might ruin it's life....

edited 20th Jul '10 9:14:28 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
JackMackerel from SOME OBSCURE MEDIA
Jul 21st 2010 at 4:46:59 AM

Result: Server crashed, [REDACTED] casualties sustained. TV Tropes is no longer a viable asset to recruit personnel.

Subjects: One hundred thousand self-titled "fangirls". Gathered via standard D-Class protocol, modified to draw personnel from site "Live Journal" and similar sites known to attract self-titled "fangirls".

Test: "Fangirls" administered [REDACTED] and were given literary materials of SCP-682 of a romantic nature. Fangirls then released into 682's primary containment cell.

edited 21st Jul '10 4:47:50 AM by JackMackerel

Half-Life: Dual Nature, a crossover story of reasonably sized proportions.
RTHSFF Kori Dómtlandsson
Kori Dómtlandsson
Jul 21st 2010 at 1:02:40 PM

Result: Partial failure. The fangirls were destroyed just as easily as any other human. However, 682 refused to touch or even approach the literary material; further research into its use as a containment method is advised.

Test: Trap 682 inside a particle accelerator.

edited 21st Jul '10 1:02:55 PM by RTHSFF

"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeeche

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