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We try to kill SCP-682

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TalesofUnder Pirate Gal from Shipshape Aquarium Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Pirate Gal
Feb 7th 2019 at 9:06:57 PM

Result: Wait, why is this even in the test logs? It has nothing to do with SCP-682.

(In another parallel universe....)

Test: The default dance didnít work: try the Orange Justice.

"I perform like an agile catfish in our pirate show! It'll blowfish your mind!"
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 7th 2019 at 11:41:31 PM

Result: Denied. Stop suggesting Fortnite dances.

Test: Have it fight the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

Edited by TimeLordVictorious on Feb 7th 2019 at 11:41:41 AM

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Feb 8th 2019 at 1:08:40 AM

Result: After being viciously assaulted by the rabbit for several seconds, SCP-682's head morphed into a scary cat which scared the killer rabbit off

Test 1: Have you considered using me against SCP-682? Prolonged exposure to me could get SCP-682 to end up damaging itself or at least keeping itself busy emulating my functions. What could go wrong?

Test 2: Use a boggart to see what SCP-682 fears, in hopes we can use that to destroy it. Hopefully 682's deepest fear is not SCP-173 as that didn't work out well. If not, we can at least use the boggart to find the greatest fears of other dangerous SCPs in hopes of better understanding and possibly containing and/or controlling them.

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Feb 8th 2019 at 10:09:06 PM

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
Siegfried1337 Well, what is it!? from Ashina Relationship Status: Staying up all night to get lucky
Well, what is it!?
Feb 8th 2019 at 1:31:20 AM

Result of Test #1: All toasters toast toast.

Result of Test #2: While it didn't work as intended, it's surprisingly useful for discovering the other fears of the more Dangerous SC Ps.

Test: Show You Tube Rewind 2018 to it.

I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I'VE BECOME SO NUMB
unfortunatezorua Dank Explosion Murder from despacito spaghett ugandan chungus Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Dank Explosion Murder
Feb 8th 2019 at 2:21:16 AM

Result: 682's head turned inside out from disgust and it remained that way for a whole week, however otherwise it didn't have any adverse affects on him.

Test: Throw SCP-682 into the sun.

Edited by unfortunatezorua on Feb 8th 2019 at 6:22:46 PM

Stock shonen rival loading: 420%
Skunkbrains Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
Feb 8th 2019 at 10:31:29 AM

Result: Denied. We already tried that. (It's in the official one. He came back with wings)

Proposal: Through magic and shite we curse it so that if it kills another being it dies, turns into a frog, transformed into stone and banished from earth forever.

Burritos are the most convenient and delicious food in the universe. Change my mind.
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Feb 8th 2019 at 1:59:00 PM

Result: Failure. Even if we had magic that powerful, what's to stop 682 from inflicting fates worse than death as a Loophole Abuse? Being murdered by that thing is bad enough as it is

Test: Ask SCP-294 for "a cup of the deadliest poison it can possibly produce", and get enough of it to replace SCP-682's blood with it.

Theory: Would SCP-035 or Dr Bright possessing SCP-682 make it less or more dangerous?

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
TalesofUnder Pirate Gal from Shipshape Aquarium Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Pirate Gal
Feb 8th 2019 at 4:33:45 PM

Result: Denied. It literally swims in corrosive acid, so what do you think poisonís gonna do to it? If anything, itíll just make it stronger.

Test: Donít directly kill it, but isolate it in Antarctica, as far under the surface as we can.

"I perform like an agile catfish in our pirate show! It'll blowfish your mind!"
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 8th 2019 at 5:21:38 PM

Result: Thanks to global warming, the ice on Antarctica isn't as thick as we hoped it would be. SCP-682 was able to make quick work of the ice before it swam to the nearest continent and attacked the first city it saw.

Test: Trap it in a giant blender.

Edited by TimeLordVictorious on Feb 8th 2019 at 7:40:42 AM

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
hanwen1234 Mihama's Ninja
Mihama's Ninja
Feb 9th 2019 at 8:29:41 AM

Test: Denied.

Dr. [REDACTED]: Did you really think we didn't try this before? Hell, did anything else?

Test: Force the Aces of Strangereal to attack 682 in their best possible aircraft.

The 'Russian' Ninja
HeadHoncho The Boss
The Boss
Feb 9th 2019 at 1:11:45 PM

Result: Epic Fail! Did you really think that would work? SCP-682 destroyed the aircraft and it is more upset than ever.

Test: Subject SCP-682 to the Flying Dutchman.

TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 12th 2019 at 8:49:04 AM

Result: Around an hour after showing the Flying Dutchman to SCP-682, SCP-173 breached containment and made its way over to 682's cell. The site was put on lockdown, and SCP-173 was safely locked back inside its cell after three days of work.

So to summarize, the Flying Dutchman intended to SCP-682 to die via SCP-173.

Test: Trap it in the Upside-Down.

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 13th 2019 at 9:00:34 AM

bump

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
Skunkbrains Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
Feb 19th 2019 at 11:26:21 PM

Result: 682 apparently CAN tolerate other life since it FUCKING MADE BABIES WITH THE DEMOGORGON. Fortunately unlike both parents they are quite docile and reproduce asexually. Permission to incorporate into MTF forces pending.

Test: We throw it into Bullet Hell (Enter the gungeon) and bar all further entry into the Gungeon

Burritos are the most convenient and delicious food in the universe. Change my mind.
hanwen1234 Mihama's Ninja
Mihama's Ninja
Feb 20th 2019 at 12:26:13 AM

Test: Denied.

Dr. [REDACTED]: What, are we going to risk it being able to avoid containment in the first place?! Nuh-uh. No. Certainly not.

Test: Fire a Stonehenge shell into 682.

The 'Russian' Ninja
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 20th 2019 at 11:51:37 AM

Result: SCP-682 was turned into Ludicrous Gibs, and managed to reform. However, in the process of reforming, it also fused together with the bullets, and thus leaving it stuck with a bunch of bullets in its body. We were then treated to the wonderful sight of SCP-682 pushing and popping bullets out of its body.

Test: Lock it in a room full of anti-vaxxers. Either SCP-682 gets rid of a bunch of delusional assholes, or SCP-682 gets infected with every sickness known to man.

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
Glitchy99 Relationship Status: is commanded toó WANK!
Feb 20th 2019 at 1:17:52 PM

Result: SCP-682 kills the anti-vaxxer.

"What were we expecting really"-Dr.████████

Test: Have Monokuma create an execution for the scip.

Edited by Glitchy99 on Feb 20th 2019 at 1:23:42 AM

TalesofUnder Pirate Gal from Shipshape Aquarium Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Pirate Gal
Feb 20th 2019 at 2:36:10 PM

Result: Not even he could come up with an execution method for the invincible lizard.

ďThe greatest psychopathic manchild in history canít even figure out how to kill this thing. Says a lot, really....Ē -Dr. Bacteria

Test: Replace the acid in its chamber with a super-acid only invented just recently by humans. The acid can melt through concrete and can only be safely stored in a cup made of materials that were also recently invented.

"I perform like an agile catfish in our pirate show! It'll blowfish your mind!"
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Feb 20th 2019 at 3:08:23 PM

Result: It's complicated. We tried making an acid that could kill SCP-682 through SCP-294, but because anything that was not a cup couldn't handle it we weren't able to make enough of that acid to douse 682 all out once and leave nothing behind. The best acid that we could keep in the facility? It did mean 682 was much slower at regenerating, but still fast enough that it couldn't reduce it to nothing

Current status of SCP-682 is that in this acid it usually has the consistency of slime, but retains intelligence and can take certain shapes, and breaks out(albeit not as often). It was ultimately decided that while it was better at containment, the finances were too much to sustain this and the cheaper option of the acid we were already using is preferred.

Test 1: Turn SCP-682 into a human. Perhaps if it is in this form, 682 will tear itself apart out of sheer loathing for organic life or suffer a Villainous BSoD from being You Are What You Hate

Test 2: Replace SCP-682's bloodstream with the following, in order-molten sulfur, molten lead, liquid cocaine, water, botulism, ebola viruses, condensed zyklon gas and liquid nitrogen

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 20th 2019 at 4:49:21 PM

Test #1 Result: As predicted, SCP-682 tore itself apart out of self-hatred in one of its largest rages. However, this being SCP-682, it regenerated back into the original reptile form.

Test #2 Result: Almost immediately, SCP-682 started growing dozens upon dozens of tumors on just about every body part you can and can't name. Its bone structure weakened to the point where it makes Mr. Glass look like Hercules. It went blind and lost its hearing soon after, all while more of this concoction was injected into it. And then we discovered that when pushed to its Rage Breaking Point, SCP-682 accesses a One-Winged Angel form. So not only it regenerated, but it became stronger and harder to kill. As for what the form looks like? Nothing Is Scarier and Go Mad from the Revelation apply, as anyone who looks at it looses any semblance of sanity, save for those of us who either already insane or morally bankrupt. Either way, Reset Button gets pushed and we end up at square one.

Proposal: Send it to M. Bison and have him use the Psycho Drive to kill SCP-682.

Edited by TimeLordVictorious on Feb 20th 2019 at 4:49:30 AM

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
hanwen1234 Mihama's Ninja
Mihama's Ninja
Feb 21st 2019 at 9:10:19 AM

Test: DENIED

[REDACTED]: NO. THAT SON OF A BITCH WOULD ATTEMPT TO WEAPONIZE IT. WHOEVER SUGGESTED IT, KINDLY GET OUT OF THE FOUNDATION AND HOPE TO GOD OR WHATEVER HIGHER POWER WE HAVE THAT WE DON'T FIND YOU.

Test: Fire a Tactical Laser System at it.

The 'Russian' Ninja
Skunkbrains Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
Feb 21st 2019 at 12:13:45 PM

Result: 682 was heavily damaged by beam but regenerated. 682 displayed signs of being near death. Researchers were greatly encouraged by this. Dr.Bright suggested that we use "MOAR LAZZZERZ" in order to kill 682 once and for all. Unfortunately 682 had developed a special carapace that allowed it to reflect them back. We are now in debt to every single major internet provider due to the destruction of [REDACTED] satellites.

Test: We throw it into a volcano then we launch the volcano after freezing it into a ice cube.

Burritos are the most convenient and delicious food in the universe. Change my mind.
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Feb 21st 2019 at 4:16:11 PM

Result: The volcano erupted and sent SCP-682 into orbit. It eventually landed off the coast of [REDACTED] and the official story is that a meteor landed there. And no, the "meteor" was not shouting obscenities for the whole world to hear.

Test: Electroshock therapy. Hopefully we'll turn its brain to mush to the point where it can't regenerate.

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Feb 21st 2019 at 5:45:52 PM

Result: The cerebrospinal fluid of SCP-682 became an insulator, backed up by an insulating rubber membrane, rendering electroshock therapy ineffective

Test: Give SCP-682 the Hito Hito no Mi aka the Human-Human Fruit, then drop 682 as deep into the water as possible. No Devil Fruit user is capable of swimming no matter who it is and they are powerless there. The Human-Human Fruit will not give 682 any powers it doesn't already have, so even if escapes this cannot get worse

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
Skunkbrains Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
Feb 23rd 2019 at 6:29:51 PM

Result: While 682 did not develop any new powers he quickly developed gills to breathe underwater. Apparently the water effect does not work on the user's anomalous abilities it already had before that.

Addendum: 682 was discovered to gain an increased knowledge of human culture and society after eating the fruit.

Test: We get it unconscious and get a Chaotic good genie with a friendly disposition towards the Foundation to grants the following 3 wishes and get a level 20 wizard to make the fourth one

A)682 will never wake up from this sleep

B)682 will be transported into THE GUNGEON

C)682 will never be able to use any firearm or tool that launches towards an object.

D)682 will never be able to understand any language while in the gungeon (Prevent him from learning about the gun/bullet that can kill the past)

We also send supplies to the Lich in order to prevent his dethronement. Supplies shall include: Stimpacks, Ammo, Magic tomes and swords

Addendum made by Bright: Don't forget to super glue some swords on him. It should make him a target of the Lord Of the Jammed.

Burritos are the most convenient and delicious food in the universe. Change my mind.

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