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We try to kill SCP-682

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TheGamechanger Ridley from Fourth Wall Relationship Status: Robosexual
Nov 29th 2018 at 7:05:06 PM

Result: The ship exploded and SCP-682 managed to pull itself back together.

Test: Expose SCP-682 to every hazardous material found in Darkest Dungeon and see what happens. If SCP-682 is still around after this, use it to dispose of anyone who went crazy after watching this test.

Test 2:If the above test is denied, have a d-class be exposed to that instead and have them fight SCP-682.

Edited by TheGamechanger on Nov 29th 2018 at 10:07:25 AM

ITT: World of Supers
Nov 29th 2018 at 10:35:02 PM

Result: Complete and utter failure. Long story short: We made the Heart of the World a real thing. Except its on steroids. and meth. and crack. and cocaine. with a one month cooldown instead of 100 years. Did I mention that we also created 15 more fucking gods only of two are willing to cooperate and they are basically cthulhu and old testament god? The rest are fighting a war using FUCKING GALAXIES AS WEAPONS and one is sending crystals that infect everyone. On the plus side this experiment has rendered 682 immobile at the center of the earth churning out monsters without any ability to be moved.

Proposal:We get the 40k Orks. We introduce old testament god to them. We make old testament god an Ork. We have a mother fucking WAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHSADE. We kill the lizard bastard. If this doesnt work start constructing a portal to another fucking dimension. fuck y'all

O-5 note:Excessive profanity will now be puni- (sound of a man being ambushed then beat to death with a stapler) encouraged

Now I am Dumb failer of tests
HyperReal Way too much effort. from Earth Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Way too much effort.
Nov 30th 2018 at 8:54:31 PM

Result: 682 is just sitting through all of this. Completely unaffected. We are starting construction on the rift.

Dr. Hyper's note: I think it's just given up at this point. Also, Excessive profanity will be punished.

Test: Ordering a cup of liquid that will instantly kill SCP-682 from 294 and pouring it on 682 from a safe distance.

Dec 1st 2018 at 6:22:18 PM

Result: SCP-294 responds with “out of range” and fails to produce a cup of liquid that will instantly kill SCP-682.

Test: make four clones of Dr. Gerald and repeat my last experiment but with 5 Dr. Geralds instead of one (4 clones plus the original). Nothing, not even SCP-682, should be abke to withstand FIVE Dr. Geralds all at once.

LordFadora Odd Writer from The Land of Arret Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
Odd Writer
Dec 2nd 2018 at 11:30:08 AM

Result: 682's entire personality shifted, despite initial resistance. It began to kindly offer giving 'piggyback rides' to the kids of the nearby [REDACTED] daycare center, an offer of which the 05 staff quickly denied. During a break period, some foundation technicians took this as an opportunity to get payback on 682, writing [REDACTED] all over his face and drawing [REDACTED] on him in black marker. 682 showed no visible distress during this time, and even went so far as rolling over to help them reach spots that the technicians missed as they were writing. When foundation agent [REDACTED] entered the room to check on the experiment's process, 682 immediately jumped up and down in excitement and declared 'Please rub my belly! I always wanted you to rub my belly!' This, however, proved too much for the 5 Geralds, resulting in four of them being knocked off 682's back. This reverted 682 back to his original mindset, and, upon realizing what was done, entered an incredible state of rage that killed [REDACTED] of the Geralds in the room, [REDACTED] of the technicians, and [REDACTED] of foundation personnel nearby at that time. This episode nearly resulted in a critical containment breach. 682 then immediately requested technicians to 'clean up the [REDACTED] mess you [REDACTED] made on my [REDACTED] skin you [REDACTED], and your PARENTS ARE TOO!' Addendum: "It was a bloodbath." ~Gerald #1 1/2 "That one thing they wrote on 682's forehead, though." Foundation Agent [REDACTED] "Yea, that was fucking excellent." `Gerald #1 1/2

Experiment: Change SCP-682's SCP number to SCP-048. I'm risking my life just writing that SCP number down, but I think this is a good shot.

Dec 2nd 2018 at 6:39:11 PM

Result: Denied. Just because SCP-048 is the “unlucky number” doesn’t mean it’ll kill SCP-682. It will have the exact same chance, if not higher, of killing us all instead via SCP-682 thereby bringing an edn to The Foundation.

Test: My previous test with the five Dr. Geralds, carried out PROPERLY with the ships. I don’t care about SCP-682s behaviour. He needs to be KILLED!

LordFadora Odd Writer from The Land of Arret Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
Odd Writer
Dec 2nd 2018 at 8:03:12 PM

My sincerest apologies, Doctor Caker. I assumed that you were trying to use the Geralds' positive influences on 682 (discovered in prior instances with 682 and one Gerald) and believed you were trying to manipulate his behavior in some way as to orchestrate his downfall.

Edited by LordFadora on Dec 2nd 2018 at 8:12:01 AM

TalesofUnder The epitomy of adorable from Somewhere, underground Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The epitomy of adorable
Dec 3rd 2018 at 8:42:24 PM

Result: Cancelled. If it didn’t work the first time, it won’t work again.

Test: spray it with Root Beer. It kills ghosts.

"five... loves... nino!!!!!" "You're choking me."
HyperReal Way too much effort. from Earth Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Way too much effort.
Dec 3rd 2018 at 9:04:56 PM

Result: 682 showed no reaction except being slightly aggravated.

Test: Refining that laser we created earlier using 914 and firing at 682 through a large magnifying glass.

Edited by HyperReal on Dec 3rd 2018 at 9:06:30 AM

Clockwork_Heart Let the galaxy burn! from Who Knows? Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
Let the galaxy burn!
Dec 7th 2018 at 1:53:51 PM

Result: Failure. The laser beam managed to cause severe damage to SCP-682, penetrating the subject's body down to the skeletal level. Shortly after, SCP-682 proceeded to develop a 'mirrored' hide, upon which the laser beam deflected into containment chamber's wall. Test aborted, due to risk of breach.

Test: Inflict Fold Spindle Mutilation on SCP-682.

Countless humans across the galaxy worship lesser beings than these terrible giants. Beware our step, for worlds burn where we walk.
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Dec 7th 2018 at 4:11:56 PM

Result: Failure. SCP-682 was turned into a gooey mess, but a mobile gooey mess that eventually reattached and reformed itself like some disgusting Blob Monster

Test: Remove SCP-682's soul and put it in someone or something destructible(or at least far easier to contain)

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
Dec 7th 2018 at 6:51:35 PM

Result: SCP-682 has no soul.

Test: Bury SCP-682 alive in quick-dry cement and bury the cement block he’s in into a 1km deep hole and then fill that with cement. He may not die, but if this works then he’s as good as dead. If that doesn’t work replace cement with molten titanium and try again.

Dec 8th 2018 at 2:39:59 PM

Result: Failure, 682 was contained temporarily, but after several days it developed shovel-like appendages that allowed it to breach containment

Test: Sedate 682 and send it through 2935, maybe if it killed the version on the other side of it it will kill ours too

Dec 11th 2018 at 10:52:14 AM

Result: Motherfucker ATE him and now kills everything automatically within a 10 meter radius also he bled all over the corpses there so now he has an earth's worth of regeneration zombie minions. Said zombies have been sent to site 02496 in Texas for disposal

Addendum: the additional effect has caused 682 to effect itself continuously restating and stopping its heart. 682 can now hold his breath slightly longer

Addendum 2:682 has gone back to normal after 10 weeks of stupidly complicated containment

Test proposal: Build a containment cell on the moon. transport 53 999 and 682 within the same room on the moon and they can all live there while drones handle delivery of food water and air to keep 53 alive to stop 682 from entering a rage state. Once every 5 years one 0-5 member will be sent to check if 682 has been permanently pacified. the vising member must not have any criminal records or any addictions or mental conditions. Also 0-5 member upon completion of survey will send a single message of Y or N (for yes pacified or no pacified )to the foundation which measures exactly (1) kb if the file sent is found to have more than (1) kb begin 682 is assumed to reach containment and the Foundation shall begin prep. Finally the 0-5 member is not to return to earth and shall commit suicide after survey in order to prevent containment breach.(0-5 member is to made aware of this) In addition to this begin constructing ships capable of sustaining at least 500 people for 5 years, that is capable of near light speed travel for preservation of the human race cause these tests are gettin real wack.

Edited by Skunkbrains on Dec 11th 2018 at 3:38:47 AM

Now I am Dumb failer of tests
HyperReal Way too much effort. from Earth Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Way too much effort.
Dec 16th 2018 at 7:06:42 PM

Result: All personnel gave up on the project halfway through.

Test: Create a Phase Distorter and send 682 to the furthest back we can go then send it back to the present, Repeat it for 15 times. And fire the improved laser at its head after the traveling.

Dec 17th 2018 at 12:08:17 PM

Result: The time travel leaves SCP-682 unaffected and the laser affects him just like it did last time we shot it at him. To sum it up, the plan failed.

Test: Get a hold of some of SCP-682’s blood by whatever means necessary, gene edit it to contain hazardous information about SCP ••|•••••|••|•, and by whatever mean necessary inject the gene edited blood into SCP-682 before SCP ••|•••••|••|• takes it away. If you fail to get it into SCP-682 in time, try again until you get it into SCP-682.

Dec 18th 2018 at 8:03:08 PM

Result: Failure. (scp....... will be referred to as variations of noodle boy)

Noodle boy Appeared at 682's holding pen precisely 10 minute after alterations were finalized. Noodle boy then proceeded to have around 80% of his body mass removed by 682 by way of biting. Noodle boy attempted to wrap around 682 but failed and only tore off a small portion of his skin then disappeared. Researchers were about to halt the tes until noodle boi came back fully reformed and proceeded to do the exact same thing. This repeated until all flesh present at the time of 682's alteration was no longer there. No further cycles occurred and 682 was recontained. During an examination it was found that noodle boi had simply stripped all info away.

Proposal: Do my previous proposal except you don't move them to the moon and simply put 999, 53 and 682 in a room together while pampering 682 as much as possible while showing the group hopeful stories about good humans. If possible do this at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Also all personnel who gave up on the project halfway through in my previous proposal shall be terminated.

Edited by Skunkbrains on Dec 19th 2018 at 10:47:52 AM

Now I am Dumb failer of tests
Dec 21st 2018 at 6:21:45 PM

Result: SCP-682, having been exposed to a test very similar to this before, refused to cooperate and instead rampaged through the grand canyon.

Test: Immerse SCP-682 into quark-gluon plasma which converts *everything* it touches into more quark-gluon plasma (as long as it remains hot enough. Else it’ll dissolve the Earth).

Edited by Caker123 on Dec 21st 2018 at 6:26:10 AM

RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Dec 26th 2018 at 9:57:28 PM

Result: Test denied, we fear that we might not be able to sustain the heat long enough to permanently kill SCP-682 without it reaching the point where it would backfire and dissolve the rest of the planet

Test: Point out to SCP-682 that the very status quo that prevents it from permanently dying(aka the REAL reason why it's immortal) also prevents it from permanently destroying humanity, meaning it can never accomplish its goals if we can never accomplish its annihilation.

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Dec 27th 2018 at 6:57:58 AM

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:05:13 PM

Result: 682 simply responded that if he cant kill all of us he is fine with simply killing some of us. He then proceeded to breach containment killing many staff in the process.

Proposal: Hit him with a monster condom filled with 50 gallons of DIE-it Coke on the head. If nothing else it shall prove amusing.

Now I am Dumb failer of tests
TalesofUnder The epitomy of adorable from Somewhere, underground Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The epitomy of adorable
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:09:41 PM


We shall never speak of this again. But then again, the lemurs and tapioca monsters were pretty wild. -Doctor Chimp

Test: Throw a human so disgusting that even it won’t touch it in it’s room. Hopefully, we can get it to vomit up its internal organs.

"five... loves... nino!!!!!" "You're choking me."
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand
Dec 28th 2018 at 3:33:13 PM

Result: We weren't able to find one. 682 is contained with hydrochloric acid, no human would be too toxic for it to be poisoned. If they were, they'd probably count as an SCP

Test: Have Kirby absorb him. He kicks eldritch ass on a daily basis, and even if absorbing 682 doesn't kill him it will give him all of 682's powers which can be used to deal with the thing

Representing New Zealand, TV Tropes addict
Dec 28th 2018 at 10:59:35 PM

Result: Absolute failure. He refused, then warped out. The path he took ended up causing a containment breach.

Dr. Ikari: For a little guy like him, he's a hella destructive force...

Test: Hire the Smith Syndicate to kill 682.

Dr. [REDACTED]: I'm curious to see how they will hold up to them...

Yo! Dragster here.
TimeLordVictorious Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Jan 10th 2019 at 1:47:04 PM

Result: SCP-682 massacred them.

Test: Have Galeem turn it into a spirit.

Edited by TimeLordVictorious on Jan 10th 2019 at 11:49:22 AM

"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without, come on I'm talking to you, come on!" -Tears For Fears
Jan 11th 2019 at 6:00:59 AM

Result: Denied.

Dr. [REDACTED]: ...I have no words. Pure, utter, stupidity. I've taken the liberty of...retiring the researcher who requested this myself. This will not happen again.

Test: Get Mr. Payne to kill 682.

Dr. Ikari: 90's style action flick hero man. I'm sure he'll do it.

Yo! Dragster here.