A neurotoxin powder that, when breathed in, causes the target to begin speaking in an unintelligble gibberish. Packed into a ball and thrown from a sling, it can render an enemy general incapable of giving orders. The weapon became to ubiquitous that Microsoft named a dingbat font after it.
The Grim Man.
Need a tall, brawny fella to come by and inspect your pickle? Perhaps I may be this fella.A full-body robe styled to make the wearer look like the mythical Grim Reaper. It bestows the ability to see who is closest to death, allowing the wearer to pick targets more strategically. It looks stylish, too.
Cobra Mustang. Not to be confused with the Ford Mustang Cobra, though you can see where I got this idea.
edited 25th Oct '11 8:00:49 PM by RocketDude
A ray gun that can temporarily implant memories and skills into the mind of the person it's fired on. It runs off the creativity of the user.
The Wang Dang Atomic Tango.
Sanity? Why would I need a useless thing like that? Now posting as Motor-Runner.A martial arts technique, resembling a tango but much sillier looking. Completion of said technique somehow causes the splitting of an atom and immediate atomic explosion of the dancer.
The aether-fueled non-newtonian assault rifle (AFFNAR).
Need a tall, brawny fella to come by and inspect your pickle? Perhaps I may be this fella.A device that opens up a portal and an interdimensional bridge. Arnold's grandmother, riding a dinosaur, comes out of the portal and shoots laser guided dirty bombs at your targets. It is advised not to use this weapon on windy days, or near the store 'Target'.
The Eternal Duckling Gun.
And to say I was nervous... it wouldn't be quite enough.A rifle that hits the target with every known curse; it continually updates with every curse it encounters. Users beware, however, as it curses them with awesome, too.
Deathreaper.
DOOD!!!A scythe that is powered by carbon. It can bring someone long-dead to life. They can still be killed, though.
Boom Boom Pow
Sanity? Why would I need a useless thing like that? Now posting as Motor-Runner.The first boom is because of the gunpowder. The second boom is because of the C-4. The pow is because the inventor couldn't think of a better onomatopoeia for a miniaturized atomic bomb.
Sheogorath's Backscratcher (Trickster God from Oblivion).
edited 5th Nov '11 9:36:46 PM by Artemis92
Ponders too much; thinks too little. Currently goes by Knowlessman.A Backscratcher once owned by a Mad God, Despite it's awesome power; many mages are afraid to use it for it drives it's users to cat-licking, baby punting and powder-snorting madness. Thus limiting it's users to the already insane.
Felguard Hellcleaver
Shameless Self-promotion ho!A tiny cleaver that would be a deadly weapon if you were two inches tall. It contains the power of hellfire itself, and sets anybody who isn't killed by it on fire.
The Ultramagnitifier Matterizing Bazookapistol.
edited 5th Nov '11 9:45:58 PM by WertyYertrew
but the future refused to change. the miracle never happen.A gatling plasma gun that can only be deadly when used by someone of a high intelligence.
South Sun Fist
Sanity? Why would I need a useless thing like that? Now posting as Motor-Runner.A glove that bursts into intense flames when winding up for a punch and gains inertia as the punch is executed.
Cannon of Hercules
Star Trek exists in large part because Tsar Nicholas II Romanov was assassinated and I don't know how to feel about that
The Chew Toy of Gaming
A mortar shaped like a dragon's head; the mortar can fire high-explosive, incendiary, and EMP rounds at almost any angle, and can be used as a makeshift flamethrower in an emergency.
The Scholar
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.A curious looking glass orb, this weapon appears to be useless except for throwing. However, if someone attempts to use clairvoyance or other such psychic powers in the holder's presence, they will be struck by an overwhelming pain and feeling of despair, incapacitating them handily for the user to attack.
Sine Blade τ
Locking you up on radar since '09
The Chew Toy of Gaming
A large sword with what appears to be a chalkboard for a flat side. The more complex a mathematical equation is written on the blade, the sharper it gets.
The Blackbird
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.

A laser weapon developed by GAR Industries. When shot at someone, the victim's head becomes incredibly manly. Their head grows to 3 times the normal size, primarily from chin, jaw, cheekbone, and forehead growth. Their neck, collarbones, and shoulders also grow, but to a lesser extent. They grow a very manly beard, and all of their hair becomes very spikey. Their voice becomes extremely deep, and their yells are louder than airplane engines. Their brain becomes 90% muscle. Sadly, this weapon does not affect the body at all, and any attempts for it to do so have only resulted in the victim turning into Chris Farley.
Wingdings.
And to say I was nervous... it wouldn't be quite enough.