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ABRICK Hiding a box of scraps from IN A CAVE! Since: Jul, 2010
Hiding a box of scraps
#1726: Jan 24th 2011 at 10:44:44 AM

Random thought: Jack Rakan is related to Duke Nukem. Plausible? Or inplausible?

A good writer puts in a lot of details in there story. But a great one gets a story from a single detail.
Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1727: Jan 24th 2011 at 11:32:51 AM

[up]

CONFIRMED!!!!

Oh and FYI everyone, I've begun a pilot for SMC's proposed 'Self Insert Meta Crossover fic'

edited 24th Jan '11 12:39:11 PM by Anemoi

You know you want to add love
RubberLotus Joker is happy. Since: Jan, 2001
Joker is happy.
#1728: Jan 24th 2011 at 2:10:04 PM

New chapter of the tie-in:

Boom.

The mallet made the entire church shake when it struck the floor. When its wielder lifted it, a near perfect circle was seen indented in the concrete.

While certainly intimidating, the Batman noted, the weapon sacrificed speed for power.

Boom.

And the exhaust from its built-in jet engine was a real pain in the ass, even if he did have nose filters.

The dark-knight detective backflipped over one of Overmaster's goons and lightly tapped a pressure point on the girl's shoulder. Then he ducked right before the mallet of another church member - a non-jet-powered one - caved his skull in.

"Sorry!" the Shipper apologized, gesturing to the Cracklord-in-training he had been aiming for. Then a colorful bonbori smashed him in the face.

"They're called Chui, goddamn it!" the bespectacled girl grumbled, pausing to adjust the cat ears on her head before taking a swing at the dark knight himself.

The Batman ducked. The swing went over his head, making the assailant over-pivot. The Batman readied himself for an uppercut, but was cut short as a stream of foam missed him by an inch and tightly wrapped around the girl.

"Noooo..." she groaned melodramatically as the white, cottony stuff smothered her completely. "Ranma X Akane Fluff... so... generic... creativity... being... sap-"

POW!


On a very large, very luxurious ship with all the latest in anti-detection technology and blah blah blah...

In the middle of the sea (get it? C? C for crack! Oh, never mind...)

Five shadowy figures sat around the table in a semi-circle, watching the big-screen monitor on the wall with some amusement as the followers of the One True Pairing fought alongside the boy in a playsuit crying for mommy and daddy.

"Master of Prep, my ass!" Mage sneered, making his yo-yo make its yo-yo make its yo-yo Walk the Dog. "The best he could come up with was trying to join an OTP church? We can just drown it in torrents of Crackfic!"

"They are the self-proclaimed "bastions of rationality and sanity"," Anemoi muttered, combing his handsome beard as he watched one of Overmaster's goons unleash a torrent of Ranma X Cologne fluff into the church.

"Someone oughta arrest 'em for false advertising," Teeth snarked, admiring (AKA drooling) over Iniquitis' earlier handiwork.

"Whadda you think, Cheese?" Iniquitus, the fourth cracklord, asked the fifth, the only one of them who had stayed silent. When he got no answer from Cheese (AKA Overmaster, AKA Bookworm), he snapped his fingers.

The Venezuelan stayed silent, unnaturally grim shadows falling over his face. Iniquitus began to look worried.

"What? Look, we know the Bat's bound to have some kind of backup plan in case he fails, but-"

"No," the curt but haunted-sounding reply came.

A hollow thunk rattled through the room then, nearly tipping it onto its side. The three other Cracklords fell onto the floor, but Overmaster did not even seem to notice.

"What..." the Venezuelan said slowly. "What if he is the backup?"

Tunk. Tunk. Tunk.

"Boss!" One of Iniquitus' underlings yelled from the doorway not a second after the sounds had echoed through the ship. "We're under attack!"

"Under attack?!" the Cracklord repeated. "We're on a ship in the middle of the freaking ocean! Who could be-"

The goon opened his mouth to answer, only to be cut short by a spear sinking into his back. He fell to the deck and didn't get back up.

Iniquitus' eyes widened as he and two other Cracklords rushed onto deck. They were under attack, all right.

Under attack by gorillas. Riding pterodactyls. With harpoon guns. Stealing a boat.

There had to have been at least a hundred of them. Big, black shapes that blotted out half the sky. A large, mean-looking gorilla was seated on each and every one of them, and all but one of them was holding an enormous harpoon gun.

"Fire away!" the booming voice of Gorilla Grodd came from the largest pterodactyl.

His simian underlings obeyed, and another round of harpoon guns fired, the points digging nice and deep into the ship.

TUNK! TUNK! TUNK!

Grodd shouted another command - this one, Iniquitus didn't catch - and all the cables attached to the harpoons rose out of the water, stiffening as the pterodactyls began to flap their wings for all they were worth.

Iniquitus gulped. Beside him, Teeth did the same, while Overmaster simply assumed an even grimmer look.

The deck beneath them began to shift. Each Cracklord scrambled for something to grab on to as their prize possession, the S.S. Crakhaus, was lifted out of the sea by a hundred pterodactyls.

Stay tuned, kiddies, for the next part, coming in less than 24 hours! (I hope...)

edited 24th Jan '11 2:11:42 PM by RubberLotus

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1729: Jan 24th 2011 at 2:30:32 PM

Goddamnshit, and I thought I was fucking weird

FYI, no facial hair

edited 24th Jan '11 2:31:36 PM by Anemoi

You know you want to add love
Watchtower Since: Jul, 2010
#1730: Jan 24th 2011 at 2:42:15 PM

@SCM: A self-insert fic using us TV Tropes APNFT vets as characters? Considering the talent here, that could work really well. I'm all aboard the idea.

NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
#1731: Jan 24th 2011 at 2:47:53 PM

Sounds awesome! If included, I'll happily serve as Butt-Monkey.

NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#1732: Jan 24th 2011 at 2:55:08 PM

Never been one for Self-Insert, actually, but I'll see what can I do.

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1733: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:12:09 PM

Hope you don't mind Rubber Lotus, the rest, but I can't just let that segment rest. Sorry for stealing the spotlight. Well, no, not really...

Mage, one of those who hadn't fallen when the boat rocked finally stepped out of the cabin, gave the assembled Pterodactyl-riding Gorillas with Harpoon Guns an appraising, jaundiced look. He gave a sniff. "Adequate, I suppose," he said, idly slapping his yoyo back onto his belt, letting it ride there with an infinite number of other yoyos on his Adam West singularity field. "If this was a Butch Hartman cartoon about fairy godparents."

The others gave him a look. He just smiled bright. "Why so serious?" he said, using Overmaster's hero's most oft-repeated quote. "This crack-fu is weak. Besides, don't you think I'd have reserves ready to handle this?"

"What, you've got Deadpool on the line?" Iniquitus said. The ex-hobo leader Teutonic Knights fiddled with his combat fuzzy-dice.

Mage barked a laugh. "Oh, please. Too easy. And anyone who suggests I'm going to call Squirrel Girl is going to feel my garrote yoyo."

Anemoi closed his mouth.

Mage reached for his cellphone yoyo, flipping it open and punching in a number. "Lotus? Ah good, you finally managed to get down from where Bats tied you up. Activate the Quantum Keyboard! Unleash measure 2814!"

As the S.S. Crakhaus began to sway, now completely out of the water, the other Cracklords directed various looks at Mage. "2814? Really?" Anemoi said.

"Oh, hush," Mage said, "I just like the number. "

The boat suddenly began to rock more as the wind picked up, and all the Gorillas looked around in surprise. Mage calmly took out his Sound Filtration yoyo, and put them on. "You might want to cover your ears or something."

A fleet of helicopters with the logo for C.R.A.C.C. dating services hovered into view. All had giant speakers slung under them, while four were burdened with carrying an entire bandstand, completely with band, a giant screen in the background, enough fireworks to launch a war, and a dressing room. Three near-identical people stood in the center of the stage, each before a microphone.

Overmaster stared. "Is that Suzumiya Haruhi with a guitar?" he said disbelievingly.

"You called Haruhi?" Teeth said in shock.

"Heh, please," Mage said. "I just saw episode 12 of Season 1 of Haruhi a few seconds ago and thought she was a great guitarist. No, you want to focus on the three gentlemen."

They did. They stared.

"Oh, god," Teeth said. "It's HIM! Divided by three!"

"How...?"

Mage smiled. "I have my ways."

Doctor Horrible adjusted his shades. Barney Stinson straightened his suit. And between them, the Music Meister finished gargling.

"ONE!" Haruhi signaled the band. "TWO! One, two three, HIT IT!"

As music began to echo, and the Gorillas began to look uneasy, Grodd stared in wide-eyed horror.

"When I first heard the signal go, I thought i must be dreaming," the Music Meister crooned. "I've been called forth, and now I'll leave you reeling!"

"You stand no chance, you've got no pants, no suit to make you AWESOME!" Barney sang. "Now you'll be owned, so fear our tones, you'll drop like some cheap dot-com!"

"Our sexy cool, you've no defense, it's time that you surrender!" Dr. Horrible joined in. "So stand down now, or my robots will you be dismembered!"

As the gorrillas reeled from the shear power of this most Divine Musical Three, the others stared at Mage. He just smiled his usual small, smug smile.

"It's all about thinking outside the box," he said, as the Gorillas began to drop like rain at the shear musical awesome. He snapped his fingers. "Otak!"

"Yes, boss?" a guy who looked kinda like Jackie Chan said.

"Get us out of here!" he said, striding confidently back into the conference room and leaning back on his chair, feet on the table. "This position has been compromised. Take us to back-up location 2814!"

"Yes sir!" the valet said, dashing off to start the engine.

The other four Cracklords just stared.

"I hate it when he does that," Anemoi said.

I'm going to get banned, aren't I?

BTW, anyone else joining the Round Robin besides us 5? We need more lords!

edited 24th Jan '11 5:20:59 PM by SCMof2814

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1734: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:15:52 PM

Is this Round Robin tie-in going to be each one of us one-uping the others?

Not to say that wasn't fucking win. Though if you had Christopher Lee up there with Haruhi, I would be worshiping you now

He's a headbanging hardcore rock enthusiast. Look it up

You know you want to add love
NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1736: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:18:28 PM

Christopher Lee is another backup. As is Dokuro-chan, the Galaxy Angels, and the Love Hina crew. Among other people...

edited 24th Jan '11 5:19:24 PM by SCMof2814

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1737: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:23:30 PM

CHRISTOPHER LEE DOES NOT PLAY BACKUP

THE ONLY ROLE HE WOULD PLAY IS LEAD MALE SINGER. AND ONLY HARUHI COULD BE HIS FEMALE LEAD!!!!

You know you want to add love
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1738: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:25:34 PM

I meant he was another backup plan, since I doubt this will be the only attack against us, especially when the Makie/Tsukuyomi chap comes out (hint, hint). No, he gets his own stand alone sequence. Unless someone else manages to write the counter-attack first...

AND HOW DARE YOU! CHRISTOPHER LEE IS ALWAYS MALE LEAD VILLAIN, EVEN WHEN HE'S WORKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE! ANYTHING ELSE IS BLASPHEMY! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE STARTS THE FIC AS COSMO ENCHILADA'S JANITOR, BY THE END IT WILL TURN OUT HE WAS THE BIG BAD!

edited 24th Jan '11 5:27:52 PM by SCMof2814

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1739: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:27:29 PM

I was reffering to his role as a SINGER, Mage. A SINGER

AND I CALL NEXT FOR THE TIE IN

See what you did Lotus

You know you want to add love
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1740: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:29:11 PM

Oh. Well, that's all right them. Still, C. Lee makes for THE MOST memorable villains ever. How do you think Dynamis would be like with his voice?

Cganale (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#1741: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:29:19 PM

-Eyeballs the document containing the next chapter of Unsung-

I am utterly unmotivated.

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1742: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:30:48 PM

Add a sequence of a clone of Christopher Lee. It might help.

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1743: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:33:16 PM

Yes

And someone needs to post a link to Skirk's Nanoha / Negima fic when he gets it up

You know you want to add love
Cganale (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#1744: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:33:56 PM

Oh no, I know exactly how the scene is about to go. I am just not motivated to put words to electronic document.

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1745: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:35:41 PM

I think the story itself has already been posted, though if you mean chapter 3, then sure.

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1746: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:38:55 PM

Oh and btw, I have a method:

Two chapters of crack pairings, one of the Tie-in

So standby for another update

You know you want to add love
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#1747: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:39:35 PM

Yay! Please be fast, need to go to class soon.

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1748: Jan 24th 2011 at 5:41:54 PM

The updates take a while, so...

You know you want to add love
Cganale (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#1749: Jan 24th 2011 at 6:07:30 PM

Hrm... -Muses-

Date Unknown
Aboard Goldfish-class cruiser Great Paru-Sama, Gravekeeper’s Palace
Time Unknown

Even from such a safe distance, the candlepower of the angry purple-red beam of magically-charged plasma was still blinding to look at it as it unleashed its hellish fury on an unsuspecting and unaware Fate Averruncus. Likewise caught in the atomizing inferno was the minion Shirabe, rendered unconscious if not already dead by a clean headshot from ODST Yuuna Akashi. The resulting hit of the petrification dart had driven her ministra, Regan Hiryuu, mad with rage, attacking Fate with a blind fury that had kept him distracted long enough to keep him from noticing Kazumi’s recon drones acting as spotters for Chachamaru’s orbital satellite cannon.

Her finger resting lightly on the triggering mechanism of her target designator, Chachamaru watched a yellow circle with two stars in it pop up in one corner of her field of vision, alerting her that her attack had, in fact, slain both Fate and that minion of his.

The blast of energy continued on through the edge of the Gravekeeper’s Palace that it had struck, striking the ground below with the impact force of a dozen nuclear warheads, instantly converting the dead ground into so much of a glass-like mineral. The howl of released energy echoed in the ears of the members of Ala Alba and their allies aboard the airship, a mournful cry of a dying world.

“This is the power of science,” Chachamaru intoned somberly, the image of the orbital strike seared into her memory. The previous time she had used this weapon, her artifact, it had been deployed in a ‘surgical strike’ manner: a concentrated blast of weaponized plasma with only enough impact force to slay the summoned beast of Cosmo Entelecheia.

This time, the weapon had been employed at its maximum output, for maximum duration, to ensure that there would be no survival. To ‘follow rule 17,’ as their allies the Kuro crew would say. To Chachamaru, there was no questioning the source of this fearsome power she wielded.

“No, truly, this is the power of technology, the prime example of all that Chao-san sought to prevent,” she corrected herself. “This destructive power, multiplied a thousand-fold, turned to burn our worlds into glass…”

“Where did you get such a weapon?” Misora sputtered, Cocone clinging silently to her arm and watching the spectacle of destruction. “Did you say Chao-san?”

“That is correct,” the android answered. “This device seems to have been created by Chao Lingshen, having either acquired or reverse-engineered the destructive capabilities of weaponized capital ship-grade plasma. Where and how she constructed it and placed it in orbit is beyond my knowledge. Perhaps it came from the future.”

Before Misora could say anything, Haruna’s voice boomed from the ship, “Did you get him!? Did you take out Fate!?”

Chachamaru paused for one fraction of a second to consult her databanks and use the surveillance features of the satellite cannon to observe the glassed area. Nothing remained. “Yes,” she affirmed. “Fate Averruncus and his partner Shirabe were both completely obliterated by the plasma emitter.”

“Awesome! The big credits go to Chachamaru for taking out the final boss! Everyone get back on the ship! With the rest of the group having gotten the Great Grand Master Key, they’ll definitely go to where Negi-kun is resting, bring him with them, and transfer here!” There was a moment’s pause, perhaps as she made a transmission to their support ship, then she continued, “As soon as everyone gets back, we’ll break out of here at full speed and sail straight to our happy ending!”

“Understood,” Chachamaru answered, desummoning her target locator as she and the others turned and leapt back onto the upper deck of their airship.

As the most combat-capable among them, she ensured that she landed last, listening silently as Misora began to banter about the return trip to Mahora and how the affairs of the magic world were someone else’s problem, which was true enough, regardless of the fact that Negi had chosen to shoulder the burden, which invariably made it their problem as well.

Something akin to the human sensation of a tingle running up one’s spine coursed through her central processor at the same time an infantry-sized red dot appeared behind them on the motion tracker integrated into her heads-up visual display. Reacting instantly, she stepped forward and pushed Misora forward with her left hand, causing the girl to stumble forward into the others and push them out of the way of immediate harm. At the same time, she spun to confront the enemy and raised her right arm, processing the necessary software to convert the limb into an MA 5 C assault rifle.

And then suddenly her sensory system was thrown completely out of whack. Signals from her right forearm and the waist down disappeared, her equilibrium sensor told her she was falling, and what substituted for a human’s pain receptors told her that she had suffered catastrophic damage. She could see the world inverted, her own lower body shorn messily from the rest of her, and the figure of Fate Averruncus stepping down from the rail of the airship.

No, she realized with a detached calmness as her upper body hit the deck, rolled once, and came upright facing the enemy. That cruel grin, the hairstyle, and the flames emanating from his hands. This enemy was not Fate Averruncus, whom she had confirmed perished in the plasma bombardment. This was a new, equally-powerful foe. Her processors nearly overloaded at the thought of more than one adversary at the level of Fate, shutting out the incessant ringing of the failed energy shield warning in her auditory core. She dimly heard Misora scream her name in disbelief of what had just happened.

Her power core had been compromised by that strike, she realized, as the action of levering herself partially upright with her remaining hand caused her HUD to flicker violently, like a human’s vision would swim from blood loss. Flashing red letters appeared off to one side of her vision, informing her central processor of all the damage that her intact sensors could perceive. She noted that the prioritization system had rerouted power from some ancillary functions to ensure that her processor and subsystems remained online, dimly noting that meant she had lost her voice.

“Wh-wh-who the hell are you!?” Misora demanded of the new Fate.

“Quartum,” he answered simply, a slasher’s smile on his face. “The Averruncus of Fire is appointed.”

Perhaps it was the flames that suddenly wreathed Quartum’s body, but Chachamaru found her motion tracker overloading itself with red enemy contacts, all moving erratically and randomly about the deck. Then she felt something akin to a very human tingle in what remained of her spine when she noticed a hazed shimmer of displaced air behind Quartum, rising slowly until it towered over the enemy. With a dramatic slowness, the haze vanished, and the mass of red contacts disappeared, and Chachamaru knew what had happened.

Behind the figure of their new enemy stood a giant man, looking exactly what one would expect a male counterpart of Chachamaru to look like, save that this robot made no attempt to hide its robotic features, and the only human emotion that showed on his face was a simmering rage.

Onii… Chachamaru thought, but could not divert the processing power to speak.

The new robot snatched the raised right arm of Quartum by the wrist, revealing that its own hand was missing the last two digits. “Statement: I have been in need of replacement ancillary digits for some number of months now. Yours will serve as suitable to my needs, pseudo-meatbag.”

...I figured I may as well post it somewhere, since it's a deleted scene/outtake from Kuro Arashi.

edited 24th Jan '11 6:09:22 PM by Cganale

Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#1750: Jan 24th 2011 at 6:13:18 PM

OO__OO

HK-47...

IT HAS WIN!!!!!

You know you want to add love

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