Hmmm... I don't know. It just sounds weird to me. Might still use it though if I can't come up with anything better. I was kind of hoping there would be some variation of "Evan" that I could use, as that's closest to the original name.
Anyway, here's the next section of the chapter:
“So did you ascertain all the information which you desired from your conversation?” Satoshi placed an enormous styrofoam cup of Mountain Dew and a bag of chips on the desk at which Li-Shen was sitting.
“Hardly.” He snatched up the cup and sucked angrily at the straw. “The twins hauled her out of here before I could get much out of her. How much do I owe you?”
“500 yen should be sufficient.” He looked curiously at the half-dozen plasma screens that lined the wall of the laboratory, dominating Li-Shen's attention. They were silently playing back a loop of that afternoon's conversation with Nelly, recorded from half a dozen different angles. He watched as his colleague pulled a few crumpled bills from his pocket and dumped them on the table.
“That should do it.”
“So was your plan completely futile?” Satoshi counted out the money and stuffed it into his coat.
“Not entirely.” Li-Shen continued staring at the screens. “What little information I did get out of her concerning her home and her family is consistent with my previously acquired information. And upon reviewing her unconscious physiological reactions during our talk, it appears that she is telling the truth.”
“So you are certain that she is the person that you need to be investigating?”
“Almost certain. Not one hundred percent, obviously, but it's a reasonable assumption that she's the one I've been looking for. I would be quite surprised if that turned out to be the case.” He took another drink. “I may need to meet with her again, hopefully somewhere we won't be interrupted. Even if she is the proper target, I'm going to need more information before we finalize our plan.” He spun around in his chair, fixing Satoshi with his eyes. “You understand that you obviously cannot tell her about any of this, right?”
“Of course, of course.” Satoshi nodded as he struggled with the wrapper on his Kit Kat bar.
“Good.” Li-Shen punched a button on the console, and the screens went dark. “Now I need to get back to work.”
“On the Cepheus device?”
“Of course.” He stretched. “We have approximately seventy days before everything needs to be finalized.. Are there any abnormalities in the energy accretion rate of the energy?”
“Let me check.” Satsoshi adjusted his glasses as he went to his own console and punched the power button. The screen popped to life, revealing the image of a viking woman in a chainmail bikini riding a unicorn. “Uh...” Li-Shen rolled his eyes as Satoshi hastily began to tap on the keyboard, covering the picture with a multitude of charts and fluctuating gauges. “Okay...” His fingers followed along one of the line graphs. “Barring any major fluctuations, the accumulation of energy will reach its zenith in seventy-one days, give or take twelve hours or so.”
“Will the amount of energy left after we release it be enough to run the Cepheus?”
“Well, if it requires the amount of energy you say it requires, it should be operable for up to one hundred and eight hours after the dissipation.”
“Good to know.” Li-Shen spun back around it his chair. “In that case you can go back to getting the TNK unit back on line. We might be in trouble if we can't get them working.”
“That will not be a problem.” Satoshi mumbled as he put on his heavily dented helmet. “At the current rate of progression, I estimate that we will be proceeding to the prototype phase within the next eight days. They should be well into production long before we will require them.”
“Good.” Li-Shen slipped a pair of magnifying goggles onto his head. “Let me know when you have a working unit.”
“Will do.” Satoshi climbed onto his Segway. “I'll see you tomorrow.” He vanished down the hallway.
Li-Shen lowered the goggles in front of his eyes as he punched a long series of seemingly random keys on his control console. There was a quiet woosh as a small drawer slid out from the side of the desk. He carefully lifted a small box out of the hidden space and slowly set it on the desk. The box was filled by a series of small oddly-shaped vials, each of which contained some sort of liquid; most of them bubbled or glowed in some way that normal liquids just weren't supposed to.
With the flick of the wrist he whipped away the rag that had been covering his work. It looked like a mere pocket watch, albeit one that was unnecessarily intricate, with far more miniscule parts than even the most complex watch would normally require. There were also a few computer chips soldered into the mechanism, connected to a nearby CPU console by a series of wires. But there was far more too it than that. Even with the goggles, Li-Shen had to squint to see it, but every single piece of the machine was covered with minute runes.
He bit his lip as he removed the cork from one of the vials, releasing a puff of purple smoke that shimmered in the darkness. There was a tangible tremor in the air as he dipped a long needle into the liquid, holding it steady so the single drop that clung to the end didn't fall to the desk. Li-Shen focused his eyes on a single part of the mechanism, maneuvering the drop towards it. The liquid disappeared in a flash as he touched the needle to the desired component. He took a deep breath, laying the needle to the side, relaxing for a moment before reaching back into the drawer where the box had been hidden.
He fumbled around for a moment before withdrawing a small roll of paper. He flattened it against the desk, scanning the content for the lines he was looking for.
“Greek...” He muttered under his breath. “Why did it have to be Greek? This had better work.”
He gingerly placed his fingers against the watch's edges and began whispering the words on the paper. As he reached the last syllable, there was a pop, a flash, and pale glow from the piece he had been working on. He smiled.
“One down, one thousand two hundred and fifty three to go.” He took a large gulp of his Mountain Dew. It was going to be a long night.
Should I end the chapter there, or cut back to Nelly for The Stinger?
Reaction Image RepositoryThe Stinger, just my opinion. Also, i've being meaning to ask this for a while so... how do you lot upload the chapters or parts of chapters to the forum?
edited 14th May '11 6:13:19 PM by starwavegal
TOO. MUCH. CANDY. AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!-Okay, I was already considering adding another Nelly section. The Chao part was going to end it, but it ended up being three times as long as I thought it would be. So yeah, I'll try to stick a few paragraphs on the end then.
Reaction Image RepositoryChapter 1 (or prolouge) for a Mega Crossover (no charaacter from other series in prolouge, sorry!) i'm writing. Hope it doesn't suck!
Negi Springfield looked over at the crowd of people present. He let the entire class invite people and now many people came. He got a wave of new students just this morning. Luckily, they were packed. 'There's gotta be more than 100 people here' he sulked in his mind. It seemed like everyone was getting along well, Chisame and Tulip were hanging out with Chachamaru, Ema, Sayo and Kazumi. Because of the large numbers a few teachers came along. Akira brought the entire swim team, Asuna brought the art club and Sasuki brought lots of food to make drink and food. “Ain't this cozy” joked Kotaro. “Wahh!” replied Negi.
Konoka Konoe sat down on a bench. The class had just gotten to Okinawa for their surprise class trip. She looked at the beautiful view and took it all in. “It's beautiful” she said to Setsuna. “Not as beautiful as you, Ojou-sama” Setsuna replied. Though Konoka hated being called “Ojou-sama” she let it slide for today due to Set-chan's complement.
Chisame Hasegawa sat on a bench. 'Why go somewhere and don't know what do, bet he'll dump us at a beach all week' she bitterly thought. “So warm~” sang her roommate Tulip. Even though Chisame wasn't a talkative person, something about Tulip made her that way. “Yeah, 'cept Negi over there will probably drop us at a beach all week” Chisame replied. “What's so bad 'bout that~” “Nothing, i'm just not a fan of beaches” “Whatever, Chisame-chan~” “Excuse me class, we'll be going to Shuri Castle at Naha before going to the beach near the resort we're staying at all week” Negi announced, gaining both cheers and groans all around.
Later that night
A group of 4 people were standing on a tree. “This is where the target is staying” said the first person. She had long dark blue hair and eyes to match. “Least we know where he is” cheered the second person. She had blond-pink hair with green-blue-pink eyes. “Damn him and his Mega Harem, I wanna axe him then rape his harem so bad...” hissed the third person. He had blond-red-brown hair and grey eyes. He would have continued unless the fourth person, a blood-red haired man with grey-yellow eyes glared at him.
Negi Springfield wasn't in a good mood. Early this morning Chamo had fed him an age-changing pill/candy laced with a love potion. Whoever looked directly into his eyes would fall hopelessly in love with him. So he was hiding to avoid that, but as he turned around the corner he crashed into someone...
edited 14th May '11 6:27:54 PM by starwavegal
TOO. MUCH. CANDY. AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!-@ Japanese Teeth: Use Pippin instead of Peter. We need to give f!Al a reason to call him "Puppy".
Share it so that people can get into this conversation, 'cause we're not the only ones who think like this.That might be a bit of a stretch..."Pippin" is a bad enough name to make fun of without making up a nickname.
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I might use "Pippin" now if only so I can make a bunch of hobbit jokes. I mean, m!Eva is going to be short.
Still need a good first name though.
edited 14th May '11 7:02:53 PM by JapaneseTeeth
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Elroy? Since he'd be short and blond, and palling with a robot, you even can throw a few Jetsons gags.
Another work-in-progress segment of Decadent Habits Chapter 20.
Then again, Satsuki pondered from behind the counter, it looked like it was going to be another stormy night. She couldn't blame anyone for wanting to get back home as soon as possible.
Nodoka and Haruna sat at a corner eating in an uncomfortable silence. Every once in a while, Miyazaki would turn a quick glare at Evangeline, who sat relatively near with a bowl of ramen. Chachamaru, serving the last few remaining patrons, would catch these glimpses whenever they happened, and there seemed to be some sort of unspoken agreement between the three girls. As if they just were waiting for an order of the leading personality to enact a plan or something...
Ridiculous, Satsuki tried to tell herself.
Ku Fei, her waitress duties for the day over, sat near the counter grabbing a quick nap, her chin resting cutely on her chest. Hakase sat near her, running a few calculations on her laptop. Nothing, all in all, seemed to be particularly far out of the normal.
And yet, Satsuki could feel it in her soul. Her world had become a darker and sadder place in the last few months. And it was affecting almost everyone around her.
"— at least six dead in the explosion at the Mercy Hospital in Gotham City, USA, seemingly engineered by the terrorist mastermind known only as The Joker," the TV set was broadcasting the international news. "This act is the latest in a series of seemingly random strikes against the city; Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent, grievously injured in a previous incident, is missing, pressumed dead—"
Zazie sat next to the door, slowly eating a bowl of spicy ramen, her face as enigmatic and expressionless as ever. She was one of the few who seemed completely unchanged, going back to her silent ways after her brief change of attitude during the demon invasion.
Konoka sat near her, eating alone for a change, which actually puzzled Yotsuba a lot. Ku had tried to strike casual chat with her a few times, but the healer had only smiled and told her she was feeling slightly ill, not in a talkative mood. Satsuki could say she was lying, at least partially, even if Ku couldn't.
Finally, Evangeline stood up, paid and headed for the door. "Chachamaru," she said. "We're leaving."
"Yes, Master." the gynoid quickly bowed her goodbyes to Hakase and Satsuki and followed the tiny blonde. As they passed by next to Zazie, however, a few soft words startled Evangeline.
"The more you surround yourself with slaves, the lonelier you'll be."
That made Eva's skin to actually crawl for a moment. With a short and barely audible inhuman hiss, she turned her suddenly and discreetly black and red eyes to Zazie, snarling viciously. "What have you—"
Then she caught a glimpse of the claws popped all of a sudden out of the fingers of Rainyday's left hand, even though the dark skinned acrobat's expression continued being exactly the same. Never cowered, but reminded of the need to keep a low public profile, Mc Dowell and stomped out. "We'll settle this later."
Chachamaru gave Zazie a short somewhat questioning gaze, then began walking out as well. As she did, Zazie warned in the same whispered monotone. "She won't succeed. And even if she did, it wouldn't bring her happiness."
"I know," the gynoid left without looking back.
Satomi blinked, looking in their direction with a baffled face.
Nodoka rasped and stood up as well. "I... I suppose I'd better leave as well. I have... important things to do. Haruna, I'll be spending this night out, so please don't wait for me."
"Eh?" her remaining roommate blurbed. "But, why—"
"I'll explain it tomorrow," Nodoka half-heartedly promised, rushing for the door as much as she could without looking desperate. Zazie's next few words, apparently aimed to no one, stopped her right on her tracks.
"Two wrongs don't make a right."
Nodoka looked caught red handed and ashamed for a moment before switching to an emotion Haruna hadn't ever seen her displaying before. Bitter contempt.
"You know, Rainyday-san," she said, keeping a level glare on the performer, "Your wise advice comes too late. Maybe, if you ever had bothered to share your infinite wisdom with us before..."
"Nodoka!" Haruna gasped.
Zazie looked up at Nodoka, with that eternal lazy calm of hers. "Would it make a difference? You have spurned those who were close to you, either way."
Nodoka recoiled as if Quintum's bolt had hit her again. But she recovered quickly. Without saying a word, she clenched her watering eyes and tried to run away.
"Nodoka!" Haruna repeated, reaching for her, grabbing her right wrist to hold her in place.
"Let me go, Haruna!" Nodoka yanked her hand free.
The mangaka stared at her with wide eyes. "Nodoka... What has—"
"You said it, Haruna," she said. "We aren't fun anymore. That's everything you always cared about, right? Fun. Playing pretenses, and playing matchmaker. But when real life knocks at the door, bringing its real pain along, you don't even recognize it. You spent so long playing your bubbly games you aren't even of any help when— when—!"
She stopped, holding a few sobs back. Satsuki finally moved in to help, vaguely wondering why hadn't she done it before. But Nodoka just brushed past her, sounding like the old Nodoka for only a moment. A shy, frail violet shrinking down under the withering weather. "I'm sorry, Haruna!"
The busty girl watched her go helplessly. "I'm sorry too, Nodoka..."
Konoka winced and left her seat as well. "Ahhh... I'm sure she'll be okay...!" she reassured mechanically, with a now blatantly fake giggle that sounded as if she was shattering behind it. "She just needs... some time alone... like all of us do once in a while... See you tomorrow, everyone..."
She eyed Zazie expectantly while walking next to her, but the performer did not speak a word, and neither did look at her. Konoka seemed to hesitate before stopping at her side and smile at her. "Ne, Zazie-chan... Since you're so talkative today, why don't you give me some advice as well? Not like I need it, but..."
Finally, Zazie looked up and down at her, very slowly. "Why? You already know what to do. You just don't want to."
Konoka paled visibly, then straightened stiffly and walked out into the night without remembering to pay.
Hakase sighed and put it on Konoka's tab. "Are they all in their periods at the same time?" she wondered.
Haruna sat back down, burying her head in her hands. "How could we all be so clueless?"
Ku Fei yawned and stretched her arms up. "Ahhhh, I had the nicest dream...!" She noticed the room's gloomy atmosphere and blinked. "Huh? Why all the long faces-aruyo?"
It ain't an OM fic without the obligatory Joker cameo. To resalt the darker nature of the Darkenning verse compared to SCM's (who uses an animated style Joker) and mine (I use a mostly mainstream comics based Joker), I gave it a The Dark Knight Heath Ledger Joker.
edited 14th May '11 7:40:00 PM by NapoleonDeCheese
I saw Nistalga Critics on top 11 dumbest heroens (I think that's what it's called), and he named that girl from Twilight (Bella?) number one. I take it his reasons for hating on her are pretty much the reasons why most people hate Twight, other than a dumb love triangle that started a war.
See FOX's Peter Pan And The Pirates. Tim Curry's Joker would be just like that.
But I must say I mostly watch the Spanish dubs of the Batman shows, so The Joker is pretty much Ruben Leon for me. And the guy has been doing it all the way from Batman The Animated Series to Batman Beyond, The Batman, Justice League, Batman Under The Red Hood and Batman The Brave And The Bold. And always sounding fitting each take on the character, to boot!
Something just to remind everyone (by which I mean Overmaster) I exist:
"Eight minutes. You're slipping."
The Batman made no reply as he numbly walked into Arkham Asylum, not even concerned that the Joker was no longer confined but calmly leaning against the doorframe. Behind him, he heard a dozen cops - Gordon included - vomiting.
He had thought seeing Joker Venom in action for the first time was bad. He had thought seeing Harvey Dent's injuries for the first time was bad.
They couldn't hold a candle to this.
"R-riddle me this..." the limp form of Edward Nygma groaned. "W-what's the difference b-between a one-night stand and a t-toilet?"
"From this day forth, I do declare myself a redhead man..." Jervis Tetch whispered, eyes wide.
"I'm sorry, Mistah J!" Harley sobbed in a corner. "We was just talkin' and then he sneezed an'..."
"After this, clown," Ivy sneered from beside her. "She'll never go back to you again."
Harvey Dent sat hunched over in the corner, flipping his coin absentmindedly. For once, both sides of his face wore the same expression. Absolute bliss.
And a few feet away, Jonathan Crane and Jeremiah Arkham lay together, arms around one another as they snoozed. Head of security Aaron Cash was in a similar predicament with Cornelius Stirk.
In the center of it all lay a small bespectacled boy and a grumpy-looking bespectacled girl wearing a "how-the-hell-did-it-come-to-this" expression.
All of them were nude. Even Arnold Wesker.
After far, far too long, he turned his attention back to the Joker. Gordon alone was making some sort of attempt to account for him, pointing his pistol in the clown's general direction even as his eyes were pressed shut.
The Joker looked at them calmly before he spoke.
"There's more of 'em inside, you know. I think they even got Vicky in on it."
"Zsasz or Fries?" the Batman was almost afraid to ask.
"Do you reeeeeally wanna know?"
And for the life of him, Bruce Wayne could not find a way to answer the question. Luckily, Gordon came to the rescue. Kinda.
"Why aren't you-"
"The Power of Love, Jimmy-boy! Batsy's the only one for me!" he laughed. "And I don't want adultery on my nice clean rap sheet!"
Both Batman and Gordon gave him a long, flat stare.
"Alright, so maybe I found a little loophole with my status as an honorary Slab inmate and all that... my name's still on the prisoner list there, you know."
He shrugged.
"Hooray for Jeph Loeb."
Gordon removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And here I thought that Jeremiah's therapy programs couldn't get any worse than the time he hired that Wilson fellow..."
edited 14th May '11 8:19:04 PM by RubberLotus
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At that very moment, elsewhere in Gotham, Oswald Cobblepot found himself feeling oddly grateful about NOT being a lunatic Arkham inmate.
Joker-chan? I picture her as a Rie Kugimiya.
Brainiac-san is Megumi Hayashibara in deadpan older woman mode.
Miss Freeze is a Mamiko Noto.
edited 14th May '11 8:29:11 PM by NapoleonDeCheese
@OM: Funny thing is, I actually did consider putting him there. A few comics like Batman: DOA and Poison Ivy: Cast Shadows feature him in Arkham, and there's always the loophole that alternate universes like The Batman qualify him, or something.
But hey, I figured that even I had to have standards.
Although this opens up the possibility of one featuring just Negi, Chisame, and Penguin...

edited 14th May '11 5:36:47 PM by starwavegal
TOO. MUCH. CANDY. AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!-