@Darkenning: Thanks. I'll finish up the "introduction scene" first before I send/post anything, though I already have a mental outline for how it would turn out. Let's just say that Chigusa and KE are going to be ruing the day they chose villainy as a path once they cross paths with Negi's...ultra-sultry and very powerful roommates.
Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.Relevant question: How tall is Bayonetta, approximately? People can't seem to be able to agree on that from what I've seen via google.
edited 9th May '11 9:11:45 AM by MarqFJA
Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.Non-lemon preview, will try to have the full chapter up by this evening.
And so they set out.
Rakan and Mana walked a ways ahead of the others, both keeping an eye out for any potential threats. Had either spotted any, they would likely have unleashed a massive response that would show up on sattelite imaging. Fortunately for the peace of the world, they didn't. Pretty much the only person they met was a shocked looking Yuna.
"Hey, Gunslinger Girl," Rakan said with a jaunty wave.
Now looking a little confused, the girl returned the wave but said nothing in reply. That struck Rakan as being a little odd, but maybe she was just surprised to see him here in Mundus Vetus. Mana, more suspicious in nature as well as more aware of her classmates' bodies, noticed some other oddities about the girl, and discretely turned to keep an eye on her.
Despite her concerns, however, nothing happened as the girl walked past their charges, who were strolling along the path some distance behind them. Negi and Asuna were on either side of the shikigami duplicate of Arika, who tottered along with a bemused smile on her face, occasionally telling the two of them that she loved them. Negi's replies were polite, while Asuna frequently snarked.
"I think we're missing something," Negi murmured. "Something about these plans just doesn't add up."
"Maybe it's all just a trick?" Asuna said. "Maybe she's trying to teach you another lesson." She didn't want to believe that their mentor had reverted to her old habits so easily either. Eva had been cruel to her, but she'd usually had good intentions underneath it all, every time.
"I don't think that's it, but ..." her brother/nephew/lover trailed off, shaking his head. "We're definitely missing something."
Arika (the real one, this time) stood behind the concealment of a tree and contemplated the cabin in the woods. She spotted several easy points of entry. The windows were guarded by pretty potent warding spells, but she had ways of getting around those. In addition, there was a fairly obvious hidden exit to an escape passage off to one side of the clearing. Once she dealt with whatever defenses were in that passage, it would certainly be the safest, easiest route directly to the cabin's basement.
Seconds later, the front door was kicked off its hinges and she entered in a low roll. Doing this Nagi-style rather than her own was incredibly dangerous (since she wasn't quite in Nagi's weight class) but it would also be a lot more fun. At least, it would be fun as long as her beloved never found out. A second to think about their last passionate encounter, to let the warmth of that memory fill her usually cold heart, and then she focused on the business at hand.
No guards greeted her, and so she rose up and began walking in slow, cautious, circling steps through the cabin — circling quickly enough that her blindspot moved too frequently to , but not fast enough to make her dizzy. She had never come here — her one meeting with her husband's stalker had occurred in Konoemon's office, a more neutral location — but Negi's descriptions before she set out had been photographically detailed.
Arika made her way to the stairs leading down into the basement, but avoided using them, instead walking to the edge of the breach between the floors then dropping into it, catching the floorboard to give a moment of hangtime to survey the landing area, before letting herself fall. It was more dangerous, but paradoxically more cautious as well; had she herself been building a sanctuary like this and expecting company, she'd have put traps on the stairs.
Past rows of creepy dolls, she found the resort she'd been told about. Once, apparently, there had been satellite globes surrounding the central one, but those had been put away for the moment. Arika cautiously reached towards the globe with her hand.
"I wouldn't," said the cowled presence on the other side of it.
She let her hand drop and took a step back. "I'm amazed to learn that there's something you wouldn't do, Albireo," she said dryly.
"As am I, Arika. Are you going to ask?"
"It would be rude," she replied.
"Gracious even under these circumstances," Al said, clearly amused. "Very well. I swear to you, by the love I bore and bear for Nagi, the only thing I hold sacred, that I did not consciously betray either of you when they came for me." His mouth twisted. "They may have gotten your location from my mind after I lost consciousness, but I think that I managed to seal my memories before they could. I cannot say for sure, but there are other suspects, as you well know."
Her own mouth twisted, an uncomfortable reminder of how much she had in common with the saturnine mage before her. "There are. Two living, and one dead ... for my children's sake, as well as my own, I hope it was Gateau." Arika nodded towards the globe. "Do you know what that one's up to?"
"I do not," he replied, shaking his head. "Kitty and I are not on speaking terms at the moment. Projecting this image is taxing my abilities, but I believe that I can also alter the teleportal spell so that it won't deposit you in the same cell as those two students of Negi. I cannot hide the alterations from Eva, nor can I offer you any assistance once you're inside."
Arika nodded sharply. "I came here expecting to have no assistance at all. Thank you, Al. I will see what I can do to speed your healing once this is done."
"Eh, don't bother. I kind of enjoy snoozing in my pavillon." Al raised a hand and began a quiet chant in Latin, invoking a spell of metamagic. "Tis done," he said. "But if you would repay me, Arika, try to be kind to Eva. She is a better person than she realizes."
"Some have said that about you," Arika said as she reached for the globe.
"Liars and knaves, the lot of them."
"Indeed." And then she was gone.
Unequally, Lesson 25, Continuation.
"Suzumiya-sempai?" she asked tentatively.
No one said anything.
"Kyon-sempai?" she asked again.
There was a low, softly buzzing sound coming from the inside now, but nothing resembling a human voice.
"What was that? Asahina-sempai? Nagato-sempai?"
The door flew open almost hitting her face. Madoka barely sidestepped in time, hesitating for a moment before peeking in. "Hello? Someone in here?"
No one. A shame, too; earlier that morning, she had run into Nodoka, who had mentioned in passing a new book had arrived to the library, one that Nagato-sempai had pre-ordered days before. Nodoka would be too busy for the rest of the day, but since Madoka was often sighted around the Brigade's quarters, the librarian had asked her if she could deliver the book for her...
Always one to jump on a chance to see Kyon-sempai again, Madoka had quickly latched onto the offer, saying she'd be glad to help. And now here she was. It had been a waste of time, and she was fairly sure no one else would be coming for the rest of the day. As a matter of fact, she'd better rush back home before Suzushiro-sempai or Kotegawa-sempai found her breaking the curfew.
She quickly wrote a note for Nagato-sempai and left it on the table next to the book. As soon as she did that, however, she saw a huge flash of light bathing the whole window, and blinding her for a moment. Kugimiya groaned in annoyance, rubbing her eyes and blinking until she stopped seeing spots dancing before her eyes.
She turned around and walked for the door, catching a glimpse of a portrait of an insolently grinning boy very similar to Haruhi-sempai hanging from a wall on her way out. Maybe he was her brother or cousin; the family resemblance was uncanny.
But she didn't mind it much as she closed the door behind her as best as she could and began walking down the lonely corridor. For some reason, in any case, everything around her looked exactly the same, and yet oddly different.
At the exact same time, Nagato Yuki was entering the room Madoka had walked into... not the one she had just walked out of. The short haired petite girl stopped only for a moment, her eternally emotionless face showing a very small hint of frustration for only a picosecond.
"I've arrived late," she whispered to no one in particular.
Oh well, at least Kugimiya had delivered her book. She always could give it a revision before going to rescue her.
Nagato pulled a chair out very calmly, sat down, and began to read, paying the utmost attention to each word.
@Dark: Definitely will consider. Since Eva uses a dark chant rather than latin, Demon!Konoka would actually fit with Nik nak kin kan akonok.
Also interesting plot movement with Decadent habits. Eager to see more.
I think I'll post more GHQ later tonight, because I'm editing some stuff off of it. Also prolly need to do more vampire!Konoka excerpts.
You know you want to add more tropes to THIS.Because I am just a generally awful person.
"Well, class, for once, your new teacher is a girl, so there shouldn't be any, um, well, never mind," said Shizuna-sensei. "In any event, please welcome Miss Isabella Swan."
She moved in beauty through the door to stand in sombre dolour at the head of the class. "Oh, dear," she said. "I can see that compared to the beauty I find in the girls of this room, and the obvious intelligence that shines in your eyes, that a stupid and ugly person like myself has no chance of being helpful to a class like yours. Now please open your books and we will begin a study of quantum heuristics."
In the hearts of Setsuna and Madoka was suddenly kindled a strong desire to grow closer to this vision of Mormon loveliness.
What is this strange feeling? thought Setsuna. I have never felt like this before; my childish feelings for Konoka-oujousam, I now see, were only sisterly affection. I must grow closer to this strange, distant girl. Oh, how I hope she will be kind enough to permit that ...
What the f—-? thought Madoka. What is with this author and making me gay! Hello? I like guys! I like them just fine, thank you very much!
"Mistress, should we perhaps do something?" asked Chachamaru.
"Full moon's tomorrow night," Evangeline said, smiling a sinister smile of dread import. "Then breaks her last dawn."
edited 9th May '11 11:46:18 AM by Darkenning
If you won't I'll slit your throat/Won't you please be nice?The Joker cackled horribly, filling the whole battlefield with the inhuman echo of his laughter, as he swirled the golden glowing shovel in his hands around, over the heads of the defeated, battered masses of assembled heroes and villains all around him.
"I tell you, this is so much better than sucking a 5D Imp dry... out of his powers, naturally...!" he said. "Now I understand I was born for this day! I am the new God of Chaos! The Lord of Nightmares! One with the unending Golden Sea of Chaos! Wielding power beyond that of the gods! Power born way before the first deity crawled out of the primal abyss of chaos! Oh, so much to do! So many people to bury! Luckily, I got a shovel! HYA HA HA!"
He clenched a grin, giving the Batman a devilish grin. "I'll do you last, Bats. First, I want you to see everyone you ever struggled to protect smiling the final smile, riding the stiffness wave. Where to begin, where to begin..."
Casually, he aimed the shovel at Negi's head. "Oh, yes. Lover Boy. You were asking for it, Little Overpowered Dude. Who's overpowered now? Get ready to leave a lot of widows, champ!"
"NO!" far too many voices cried at once.
But the first one to step in between the cosmically powered clown and the boy was the tall blond woman with the mismatched eyes.
"Mother!" Negi breathed.
"Under no concept I will allow you to harm a hair on the head of my son... and father of my son!" Arika proclaimed.
The Joker stopped laughing. "Pardon?"
"Pardon?" Negi echoed.
"Yes, Negi," Arika nodded solemnly. "I am in child with the fruit of our union. I wished to tell you before, but I did not want to distract your attention before the battle. Please forgive me. Your sisters are also pregnant with your children," she pointed at Asuna, Chisame and Ayaka, who all nodded uneasily.
Joker blinked. "Sisters?" He gave Nagi a confused look.
The bloodied Thousand Master shrugged apologetically.
Joker tried to regain some evil momentum. "Ah-hah-hah. Ooh, a wicked bunch, aren't you? Yeah, now that's a joke. Revealed before everyone in your final hour, proved to be just as bad as me with everyone witnessing your—"
"AAAAAHHH!" Mikuru cried. "I can't help it anymore! I must say it before it's too late! Kyon, I'm your future child with Haruhi-chan, and I'm pregnant... from both of you!"
"We knew it, Mikuru-chan," Kyon nodded softly. "Nagato-chan told us already, just as she revealed she also was pregnant from us and Koizumi..."
Joker's eyebrows curved up. "How does that work?"
Vader put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "Luke, I must confess it. I'm your father... No, wait, we already went through this, didn't we?"
Luke nodded. "Yes, we did. By the way, Han, I'm sorry, but... Leia's twins are mine, not yours. I'm so deeply sorry."
"I suspected it, Luke," Han nodded. "I'm no better. Chewie, your wife's kids are actually mine."
"RRRARRRGHHH?"
Donald Duck turned to Darkwing Duck and spat an unintelligible rant of frantic apologies.
Darkwing turned to Mickey Mouse. "Has he... has he just said he's my father?"
Mickey nodded grimly. Daisy's beak hit the floor.
Chao turned to Mr. Sulu. "Sulu-kun, I can't hold this any longer! I'm your grand-grand-grandmother! Also, your mother!"
"Oh my!" Sulu gasped.
Peter sighed. "Meg, you really are Homer's child. That's why we always hated and scorned you."
Meg sobbed and threw herself into Homer's arms. "DADDY!!"
"AHHHH!" Homer screamed. "HIDEOUS PINK SKINNED GIRL!"
The Joker grimaced. "Okay, now this is getting kinda weird..."
"Makie, I'm your mother after I got another wish from Kyuubey and asked for a child with Homura-chan!" Kaname Madoka confessed tearfully. "We loved you so tenderly! But then you were kidnapped away by a Witch...!"
"B-B-But we had a hot threesome just three nights ago!" Makie gasped.
"I'm starting to think I'll do you all a favor if I just off you all..." Joker mused.
Mojo Jojo faced Gorilla Grodd. "Grodd, I must tell you, announce you, admit and confess something of great important and relevance that definitely matters a lot. During one of my trips to gather resources to defeat, eliminate, obliterate and have victory over the accursed POWERRRRRPUFF GIRLLSSSSS, I ran into your mother at Gorilla City..."
"No, don't say it!" Grodd urged.
"Yes! I am your father, and so you are my son, because I'm your dad and progenitor!"
Buttercup twitched. "Wait, but we're only less than five years old..."
Joker held a hand up. "Now, now, if I may have your attention back... I kinda was about to destroy the whole universe..."
"Not now!" Arika hushed him. "We're in the middle of a moving family merging!"
"But—!" Joker began.
"LATER!!" everyone barked at him.
"So, who's my long lost secret family?" Hitou Nami asked hopefully.
"No one," the Spectre told her. "You come from a perfectly normal family."
"DON'T CALL ME 'NORMAL'!" she cried.
Joker sat down to sulk as the confessions unfolded all around. "I think I'm going to be sick..."
"Lelouch, I'm your father *and* sister!"
"BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!"
"Oh, I love you too, Road Runner!"
"DEATH, I AM YOUR FATHER."
"And I'm your mother, Death," Didi gently confessed in turn.
"Oi, Excel, I'm so glad! And honored, too! But first, I must tell you I'm pregnant with Il Palazzo's child! Sorry 'bout that, Puddin'."
".......... I don't know you."
"ONIIII-CHAN...!" Excel jumped on Joker, hugging him from behind and making his eyes bulge out. "Give your doubly betrayed Sis-in-Law some consolation sugaaaaaaar!"
"GET OFFA ME, YOU FREAK!"
"Hyatt, you and Mutsumi are... sisters..." Doctor Strange told the two pale nude girls lying together in a pool of Hyatt's blood, still kissing each other despite their violent fits of coughing. "Never mind, you already figured it out, huh..."
"Luna, I'm your sister!"
"Oh, Yoruichi! But this won't get in the way of our relationship, will it?"
"Of course not, my dear..."
Rin hugged Nozomu. "My beloved brother, we're siblings!"
"I knew that since day one, Rin!" Nozomu told her. Then they looked at each other's eyes and began making out wildly.
The Future Batman faced Bruce Wayne. "Maybe you won't like this, but I'm actually born from a woman impregnated with your genetic material by Amanda Waller..."
"Away from my father and lover, you dog!" Damian threatened.
Joker grabbed onto Uatu the Watcher's toga and shook him around. "Tell me, Bighead! Tell me! I'm not related to any of these idiots by blood ties, am I?"
"... Of course not," the Watcher said. "What, in the name of Eternity, has given you such a baseless idea?"
"Thank God," the Clown Prince sighed, scooping Nami into his arms. "As a great man once said, Screw this, I'm going home! Let's go, Normal Girl!"
Nami cooed, hugging his neck as he flew away, making banjos to appear in everyone's hands as a magical farewell gift. "Oh, my ticket out of normalcy!"
"You should have told him he's my *other* alternate future child..." Cyclops ruefully told the Watcher.
"We will tell him when he's ready."
"Negi-kun..." Nekane dropped to her knees, hugging him. "Guess what came out in my latest pregnancy test, too?"
edited 9th May '11 3:42:26 PM by NapoleonDeCheese
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I just realized I haven't settled on a name for m!Misa yet, and I don't have time to search for the suggestions. What were they again?
EDIT: Does anybody know of any good sites that I can just host text on? Because when I get around to doing that "Chachazero tells The Aristocrats" story there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to post the result here.
edited 9th May '11 1:27:58 PM by JapaneseTeeth
Reaction Image RepositoryEDIT: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=x7qwds45w7je04xdlt51q783&page=301#7504
Here's the rest of the suggestions.
How about Blogspot or something?
edited 9th May '11 1:30:00 PM by NoLimit
"Class 2-A, this will be your new homeroom teacher."
Class 2-A looked at the little butterfly.
Perhaps the little butterfly looked back. It might not have. No-one's really sure. Bloody quantum.
Fate lifted his hand, preparing to gut Evangeline with a stone spear.
The little butterfly's wings went flap, flap, flap.
Fate had just enough time to look at it with what might have been puzzlement before a tiny little thundercloud appeared above him and began raining on him.
He ended up failing. Not even his haremettes could take him seriously when he had a permanent puddle aroud his feet and the countenance of someone struck one too many times by miniature lightning bolts.
IT IS THE MORNING BEFORE MY EXAM. I hate all of you.
Someone hide all this stuff from Anemoi, or we won't be able to frigging breathe for pony-teacher stories.
Now I'll go write something better because my god this ficlet is 'orrible.
edited 9th May '11 4:30:17 PM by IniquitusTheThird
Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)"Class 2-A! This will be your new homeroom teacher, Tony Stark-sensei."
The scruffy-looking man blinked and peered around the room, apparently under the influence of a hangover worthy of a billionaire playboy. He pointed at the class.
"...Should I know any of your mothers? Or all of them? Because you guys look pretty damn identical to me. Ow." He collapsed onto the ground at this point.
The class collectively tilted their heads.
Well, not all of them. Asuna was busy swaying gently, pupils in heart shapes and in full-on older-man-crush mode, while Setsuna was twitching and suddenly worried about if her mother was related to the Dean.
An arm went into the air from the heap of drunken humanity, looking like a periscope as a sigh echoed up. "Fine, I'll teach you lot. But the hell I am gonna do Parent-Teacher evening meetings."
After a woman with a shock of red hair pulled away Stark-sensei in the middle of the Mahora Budokai arc, muttering to herself about "Wasting time with little hussies like these, Tony?", Satomi became the main character.
...Look, these damn suits are harder to control than they looked, and a voice-changing program and a bit of chest-binding meant the gender of the person inside the damn armour made no difference whatsoever.
Although no-one really expected Chao to agree when Satomi asked her to become a Magistra Magi with her...
I'M IN YOUR MANGA, SHIPPIN' YOUR LADIES.
Doubleposting again. Why have you done this to me?
edited 9th May '11 6:40:22 PM by IniquitusTheThird
Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)I'm going to get shot for this one:
Mahou Sensei Pedobear
"Welcome your new teacher, class. This is Mr....Bear."
The misshapen animal said nothing as his blank eyes surveyed the room. It's disconcerting gaze paused for the moment on Fumika. She couldn't help but shrink back behind the desk until the stare passed. Fuuka merely glowered back. Then the creature's eyes came to rest on Evangeline. She looked up.
"What do you want?"
The bear made no sound as he lumbered towards the back of the room.
"So let me get this straight..." The Headmaster put a hand to his forehead. "Evangeline vaporized the new teacher?"
Shizuka could only nod.
"What about that barrier thing that Nagi installed?"
"She apparently improvised her way around it."
"We're going to have to look into that." He sighed. "I suppose it's for the best anyway. That bear thing gave me the creeps."
I don't even know why I wrote this.
edited 9th May '11 3:12:41 PM by JapaneseTeeth
Reaction Image RepositoryWell, CRAP. ff.net's Document Manager is being a pain-in-the-ass and refusing to upload any of my files. All I get is a blank page when I try.
Okay, since there's no real lemon in this chapter, here's the rest of Decadent Habits 18.
"None of you is the actual Chachamaru Karakuri, correct?" she asked.
"Please surrender, Arika-sama," one of the robots said politely. "Our instructions are to avoid causing you harm if at all possible, but the Mistress recognized that you might make that difficult."
"I would appreciate an answer to my question before I give any thought to your proposal," Arika answered brusquely.
"Very well," said the robot beside the one who'd spoken earlier. "You are correct that none of us are the prototype Chachamaru Karakuri, the mistress' primary partner and member of Class 3-A of Mahora Academy Junior High School for Girls. We are mass production models running a more limited version of her operating system. Regardless of this —"
"Oh, I think that this is pertinent. I am given to understand that my son is quite fond of that particular construct, and I would hate to do her injury and thus hurt his feelings. So I'm glad she is not among you." Arika stood with her hands open and ready.
"Please be reasonable, Arika-sama. Do you really think that you are our equal in strength or speed? You are well-known to be a capable general and warrior, but do you think that you are superhuman?"
"No," Arika answered.
"Then you must surrender."
"No. And I think that you have misunderstood my earlier refusal of your request for me to be reasonable to be an answer in the negative to your two successive questions." She turned her wrist slightly, and her Pactio card slid out of it into her hand. "Adeat," she said. A pair of gleaming knives appeared in her hands, and at once, she began the Human Killing Dance. That it was now used to destroy the false life of pantomines of humanity in no way detracted from its terrible, savage beauty.
In a way, it was funny, she mused as her blades sliced through phoney flesh and plastic and metal, drawing on the almost unlimited power behind the pact to enhance her strength and speed far beyond what the robots could do. The picture of the woman warrior always had her armed with a sword; even her own daughter used one. Swords were the noble weapon, or so the grand lie proclaimed. The irony was that a sword was a defensive weapon — the reason for having such a long blade was to keep opponents at a distance. In close-in fighting, which was what almost all battle came down to in the end, that length was a disadvantage, preventing you from putting your strength behind the blade's point.
For close-in fighting, to protect herself, a girl needed a knife. And she had hers.
In more time than it took to tell it, the robots lay in shattered pieces all around her. She was not unmarked, however. Sparks had scorched her leather, lubricants stained them, and one of the robots had managed to cut her cheek before she sliced off its arms and legs. But she was alive, and they ... had never been, but were no longer functional, and that was how she'd wanted it.
"Got any more of these dolls, Dark Evangel?" she called out.
"As a matter of fact, I do," a voice echoed through the halls. "It will take some time to bring them online, however. So why not skip ahead to the boss stage? Just follow the sound of my voice, and it'll lead you right to me. Assuming that this isn't a trap, of course."
"I think I'll take that chance, obaasan," Arika replied as she started running down the hallway, keeping an eye out for the aforementioned trap or traps. As well as other things.
"What do you just call me?" the voice asked, sounding startled.
"Obaasan," she repeated, articulating each syllable. "Aunt, or technically great-aunt, with a few more greats in there. You're not the only one well-informed, Queen of Puppets. I have heard stories about the first, failed attempt to breed someone with Magic Cancel. How they thought they had a real prospect on their hands, and so she was hidden away in a castle on Mundus Vetus. How someone objected to the plan, and so worked a magic to turn their prospect into a Shinso. I know about you," she concluded.
"And doubtless find the story funny," came the angry hiss of the voice as she reached a turn in the corridor.
No, not here. "Not for the most part, no. But I have to admit that I find the part where you swear vengeance on the one who did this to you, and possibly even accomplish it, to be quite a laugh. So self-absorbed, you never even realize that he did you a favor. Or does the prospect of spending centuries in suspension, waiting to be hauled out to be used as a weapon, have some perverse amusement for you?" Like the first Asuna. Like what they'd wanted to do to her baby.
"Shut up," said the voice, now in a snarl. "Do you have any idea —"
"No, and I don't care!" Arika snapped. Yes. There. "You've had a hard life. So have I. So has everyone else in the world, but most of them don't choose to sit around on their asses playing video games and talking about how rotten they have it. And they don't kidnap the children of their stalker-like fixation as part of some sort of twisted plot against him." She reached the bend, and paused there. "My daughter actually thinks you deserve to be happy. Rest assured, I don't share her naivete. You can rot, for all I care."
Silence from the speakers, and for a moment she wondered if maybe she'd driven the vampire into some sort of silent frenzy. Then the voice began again. "You're jealous," she said, with a tone of disbelieving wonder. "But that doesn't make any sense. You're not jealous of the other women he took to his bed, and why should you be, when you've had as many men and women alike. But you're jealous of me. Because you know that I could have given him something you never could. And that terrifies you, because you know you would have lost him to me."
Fury almost made her ruin her careful work. "He never would have taken your sick offer, Mage of the Evil Dead! His was the flame of life, not to be consumed by some sick parody of it —"
"I suppose that we will yet see, won't we? But in the interim, why don't you come down here, to the end of the hall, and we will settle this, face to face."
"Suits me fine," Arika said, and set herself to walking.
She headed down the corridor, knives ready at her side, until she reached a doorway marked with the words, Lasciate Ogni 'Speranza, Voi Ch'entrate. without hesitation, she passed within ... to find Evangeline, dressed in lingerie and her cape, lounging on a dark throne and delicately sucking a lollypop in the center of the pitch black room beyond. Chachazero mimicked her mistress' posture on the throne's arm.
"Fool," the vampire said, and behind the woman in yellow leather, a wall of thick iron slid down to block the door. Behind it, locks could be heard engaging. "You walked right into the trap. Now, even if you somehow go beyond the impossible and defeat us, you will never be able to escape from this place. Even those blades you carry won't cut through that, not without years of work."
"And we're going to kill you before that happens," Chachazero interjected. She looked up at her mistress with something sickeningly like hope on her unchanging features. "I really do get to kill her, right? No more capture games? I get to cut her open and bathe in her blood and viscera? Like the good old days?"
"Yes," Evangeline confirmed, her eyes little more than white pinpricks in a sea of red. "Well, Queen of Calamity? What have you to say to that?"
"Never use an ace when a two will do," the woman replied, in a much higher than usual voice. Then her eyes went blank and her head tilted far to one side. "You make love like a god, Nagi-kun," added the skikigami in Arika's form.
Eva bit the lollypop cleanly in half.
Arika (the real one, again) ran headlong down the corridor, turning aside to the branch that came just before the marked doorway that had sealed itself off. She had been tempted to go down to face the vampire in person after that last calumny. But self-control had saved her once again, and so she'd stood in the blind spot in the castle's security network, and created her shikigami duplicate. The point of this exercise wasn't to confront Evangeline, it was to rescue the girls. Her pride could wait another day.
But that day would come.
She slowed as she saw that the hallway came to an end with a locked and barred door to one side. Nor was it unguarded. One more maid robot stood there, clearly waiting for her. Somehow, Arika knew that this was not one of the drones. "Chachamaru-san, I presume," she said. She didn't banish the blades just yet, but she was wiling to try sweet reason first.
"Indeed, Arika-sama. I am pleased to finally meet Negi-sensei's mother, though I regret that it occurs under these conditions," the robot said, and there was a distinct timbre to her voice that was utterly absent in those she'd fought. "My orders from my mistress are to prevent you from entering into this room."
"I see. And do you intend to follow those orders?"
Chachamaru looked away. "I am torn," she said quietly. "On the one hand, I truly believe that the mistress deserves my unquestioning support. On the other hand, I know that Negi-sensei would not approve of this, and as he is my teacher, my partner and one of the dearest people to me, I do not want him to have cause to be ashamed of me."
"That is what it is to have divided loyalties," Arika agreed. "I can well imagine how I would feel if I were to be faced with a choice between my own loyalty to my husband and my loyalty to my children. You have my sympathies. But you must make a choice."
"That is so. I can choose to betray one of those whom I owe loyalty ... or I can choose to do nothing, and by inaction betray them both," Chachamaru mused aloud. "Either way, I damage my self-esteem. I do not like this."
"I can tell you comforting lies about forgiveness, if you'd like?" Arika offered.
"No. I think I know that which I must do. I will obey another loyalty altogether," Chachamaru said, shaking her head once. Then she turned and lifted the bar holding the door closed out of its holders, set it against the wall, and stepped back. "I will remain, and face the consequences of my actions," she added.
"I see," said Arika, who didn't, and wondered what on Earth the creature was talking about. But she went over to open the doors nonetheless.
And coughed as she watched two of the girls getting dressed quickly. "Chisame-san and Ayaka-san, correct?" she said. "Where's —"
"Chizuru was hurt attempting to save us, I believe that she has a broken wrist," Ayaka interrupted, pulling on her shirt and standing up. "She passed out from the pain a while ago. Can you help her?"
"I am not a healer, and no potion I have will cure a broken limb," Arika replied grimly, impressed despite herself by the girl's cool head. It reminded her of her own. "I do have one that will act as an analgesic and bring her around. Then I will have to carry her —"
"I will carry her," Ayaka interrupted again, her face stern and set. "She has carried me often enough."
Arika smiled. For the first time, she wondered what it would be like to take one of Nagi's other children as a lover. The one time she'd met one before this, when they'd been living with Nekane, the girl had not been in the right frame of mind to accept her attentions. (And of course, there had been no way of being sure that she was Nagi's daughter. She could simply be his neice, despite his cuckolding of his brother.) It would be interesting, she thought. "As you wish," she said aloud.
She brought the potion, which was one of those which worked through scent, up to Chizuru's nose. The girl came awake slowly, and looked up blearily. "A rescue, au secours," she said, wearily.
"Indeed so. Chisame-san, are you ready to depart from this cheerless place?" Arika asked as Ayaka began lifting her friend into the fireman's carry.
"Yeah, I guess," the girl in glasses and a bikini muttered, not looking at her.
"Is there something you'd like to ask?" Arika replied, just a little sharply.
The girl hesitated, then looked at her angrily. "You know who I am. You know who we are. Why are —"
"Because you are who you are," she answered the question before it was asked. "You are my son's students, and more than that, you are his friends and companions. And, yes, you two are the children of my beloved. That makes you dear to me, as well. Especially you, who are so much like him," she added.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Chisame cried, eyes wide. "I'm nothing like —" She waved a hand wildly.
"I have no time to explain this now, Chisame-san," Arika answered, shaking her head. "We have to leave now, before Evangeline is able to escape from her own trap. And you are the only one who can get us out of here. I have been here only a few hours, Ayaka-san and Chizuru-san somewhat longer. You're the only one who can open the teleporter to escape from here. Now come on."
They went out of the cell, to find Chachamaru still standing there looking at them ... correction, looking at Chisame. The robot seemed about to say something, but Chisame looked away furiously, and whatever might have been said went unsaid. But Arika finally understood what other loyalty the robot had spoken of, and finally felt a bit of genuine pity for her.
But only a bit.
They raced through the castle halls, finally emerging on the bridge that led out above the waters. "Be careful, I cannot fly, if you fall, I cannot rescue you," Arika warned them. "Everyone hold hands with Chisame-san." That should not be a problem for Ayaka, given that they had clearly been past that point by the time she entered the room, she thought slyly.
And just as Evangeline burst from the door leading into her resort, screaming curses ... the teleportal opened, depositing them in the basement of her cabin. Chizuru let out a sigh of relief as they landed.
"No time for that," Arika snapped. "She could follow at any time. Up, up and out." But within her heart, she was exultant. She'd beaten her. She'd beaten the witch.
On the bridge leading up, Evangeline looked up at the false sky ... and smiled. "I win," she said.
'NEXT: Madoka
"Class 2-A, I want you to welcome your new teacher, Adrian Veidt-sensei," Shizuna gestured for the door, waiting for him to walk in...
But no one came in.
After a few moments of confused silence, Shizuna looked out. "How odd. He promised he'd be right here right now, and he never had failed to show up in tim—"
Then everything around them became nothingness.
Exactly thirty five minutes after, deep inside an Antartic refuge, Veidt stood with his hands crossed behind his back, calmly confronting Nite Owl, Takahata and Rorschach. "Do it? Dan, Takamichi, Walter, I'm no serial Republic villain. I'd never announce my plan to save both worlds to you as long as you stood any chance to foil it. I did it thirty five minutes ago."
Welcome to the club of 'Christ, what the hell did I write last night?'. Coffee is in the fridge, because I effing hate coffee.
"G'day, everyone."
"G'day, mate."
"My name is Iniquitus, and I'm an insane writer."
"Class 2-A, this is Yuuhi Kurenai-sensei, who will be your homeroom teacher from today."
"Hi, Kurenai-sensei," the class chorused.
"Hello." Kurenai bowed her head, and then looked around the class. "It is my duty, as your instructor, to teach you and nurture you. However," and here her gaze became piercing and ironclad, burning with an unbreakable will. "It is also my duty, as a woman, to demonstrate to you that your gender means nothing in the world — only ability and determination does. I will show you that we are just as capable of being leaders and dominant people as men!"
As the class gave a cheer, Chisame found herself with an odd smile on her face. A female role model? In my life?
Not knowing why, Jack Rakan thought back It's more likely than you think.
Then he went back to chilling out in... wherever the hell Negi got his arm cut off. Remember that hole? With the whole 'Chachamaru is a Transformer and can grow swords' thing just before that? Those were some good times.
The Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, before glancing back up at Kurenai and Evangeline. "...I'm sorry, but could you repeat that, Kurenai-kun?"
Kurenai bit her lip. "I have to take maternity leave as a result of my pregnancy, Headmaster. I apologise for this, but I'm afraid that someone else will have to take the class on the trip to Kyoto." She shot an annoyed glance out of the corner of her eye at Evangeline.
The High Daylight Walker appeared oblivious. "What?"
"How is this even possible?" Kurenai ranted. "I-I mean, you're just a child yourself and a girl to boot—"
Evangeline made a shushing motion, smirking slightly. "Kure-chan, there is a reason why vampires are regarded as sexual metaphors."
'Kure-chan' looked at first like she was going to protest but then drew her legs up onto the chair and looked depressed. "Y-you always do th-this..." Sniff. "Always t-talking about yourself i-instead of listening to m-me..."
Eva blinked. "...Pardon?"
"SEE! You're only focused o-on yourself, you do this all the time, you're busy d-doing something else..."
Eva's hands went up almost defensively. "Oh, now just wait one minute, here—"
"You're always around with the tall Chachamaru girl, a-and you meet up with that Hakase a-as well behind my b-back, a-and you can't even pretend to pay just a tiny bit of attention to me, e-even though we have this wonderful thing together..." Kurenai was practically in tears by now, even as Eva's eye twitched in confusion. "Y-you don't even want this! You NEVER wanted this!" Kurenai rose from her chair, tears streaming down her face, and burst out of the room.
"..." Eva stared at the door, and then looked at the Dean who was trying his hardest not to laugh. It wasn't working.
Evangeline eventually had a hilarious misunderstanding with Kurenai walking in on her screwing Chachamaru, spent the entire Mahora Budokai arc trying to coax Kurenai out of her room (Albireo beat the crap out of everyone and moonwalked off the stage as Anya, for those of you who care), and eventually caved and proposed to her after recieving a stack of baby clothing from a hysterically-giggling Chao. Unfortunately, as Eva insisted on being the one to wear a dress, Kurenai had to wear the tuxedo and the class were too busy laughing at Haruna's... interpretation of how the whole sordid affair happened to cheer.
Fate tried to attack the gateport as Evangeline and Kurenai went to Mundus Magicus for their honeymoon and successfully achieved orbit from the combined impact of a heavily-pregnant and stressed woman and a Shinso who was going to make the best of a situation and get laid in the gateport, but nooo, you had to steal all the attention away from the most famous criminal in the world doing a pregnant ninja in public. He is estimated to reach Earth in roughly two decades time and thus conclusively prove that the Magic World is Mars.
No, really. I have no recollection of writing that Yoruichi-story. o.O
edited 9th May '11 4:40:22 PM by IniquitusTheThird
Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)

@Marq: I'm compiling them. And there are 27 so far, including the latest additons.
@SMC: Also, you didn't title your "Fujimura Taiga" one.