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JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7676: May 8th 2011 at 3:45:50 PM

[up][up]You know, I've a had a really terrible stand-up related fanfic idea bouncing around in my head for a while, but I hesitate to even mention it based on how much potential for disaster it entails.

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IniquitusTheThird Laugh into the rain. from Wossname. Since: Dec, 2010
Laugh into the rain.
#7677: May 8th 2011 at 3:50:10 PM

Can't be much worse than mine! Bring it on.

Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7678: May 8th 2011 at 4:02:04 PM

[up]I don't mean bad in a quality sense. I mean bad in "You'll need Brain Bleach when it's over" sense.

Still want to hear it?

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NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
#7679: May 8th 2011 at 4:14:06 PM

Go for it. We've got lesbians, sadism, masochism, and incest stories. It can't possibly be any worse.

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
mega-dark Moe Game Console from Planeptune Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
#7682: May 8th 2011 at 4:20:35 PM

[up] Yes. Yes I did. waii

[up][up] I'm more concerned about Bella. *shudders*

edited 8th May '11 4:21:43 PM by NoLimit

Cygnus Fist of the thunder god from Mahora Evil Academy Since: Jan, 2001
Fist of the thunder god
#7683: May 8th 2011 at 4:32:21 PM

I found that ad... funny, dood.

"Prices lower than Kaede's sex drive!"

Kaede: *non-reaction*

Also, looking for tropes for GHQ is a lot harder than I thought.

You know you want to add more tropes to THIS.
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7684: May 8th 2011 at 4:41:01 PM

Alright then, you asked for it.

Note, I call absolute dibs on actually doing this. I don't know if I will, because it might completely and totally ruin my reputation, but whatever (also, I have reasons for not using Tsukuyomi as primary character, mainly because I find it funnier this way):

Chachazero tells The Aristocrats.

It may not seem all that bad, but I assure you that if I actually get around to writing it, it will be intensely disturbing.

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JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7686: May 8th 2011 at 4:44:07 PM

evil grin

edited 8th May '11 4:47:03 PM by JapaneseTeeth

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Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#7687: May 8th 2011 at 5:14:51 PM

btw everyone, I got us another review

waii

You know you want to add love
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Darkenning She's Back Since: Apr, 2011
She's Back
#7689: May 8th 2011 at 5:22:02 PM

As OM has mentioned, he's in the process of writing a series of stories that will combine the Decadent interpretation of the Negima cast with more obvious crossovers from the Unequally series. I found this to be an intriguing concept, and so I volunteered to contribute something to that series. Here's the rough draft.

Madoka still wasn't sure how it had come to this. Surely, there had to be some sort of rule about junior high students being recruited to join high school clubs, the sort of rule that states that such things are expressly and unconditionally forbidden. And yet the SOS Brigade's faculty adviser had done nothing to prevent her from being brought in. In fact, Madoka wasn't entirely sure that the Brigade had a faculty adviser. And that would surely fall under the same sort of "expressly and unconditionally forbidden" rules, wouldn't it?

But, until such time as someone dared to tell the Brigade's commander-in-chief that she couldn't have a junior high school student in her club, Madoka found herself stuck with it. (She was not nearly brave enough to raise the subject.) And it wasn't so bad, really. It meant she got to spend time with the charismatic and personable fellow who called himself Kyon. And Koizumi and Nagato were, well, not exactly nice, but pleasant enough to be around. (Nagato reminded her a bit of Honya, only even more anti-social.)

Really, aside from the aforementioned dictator-for-life, there was only one member of the Brigade that she found it hard to deal with.

So of course, on this particular day, as she was thinking all of this, she slid open the door of the Brigade's club room to find it solely occupied by that person.

"Good afternoon, Kugimiya-san," Asahina Mikuru said timidly, turning to look at her from where she was seated at the table, doing nothing in particular.

"Uh, good afternoon, Asahina-sempai," Madoka said, trying to cover her confusion. "Where is everyone today?"

"Ah, well, Kyon-san has to go and take his little sister to the doctor's office today, Koizumi-san and Nagato-san ... just didn't show up for some reason. Suzumiya-san is, well, um, I-I-I-I think she might be, um, well, talking people into letting us keep using this club room ... through methods that I'm sure don't involve intimidation or extortion!" Mikuru blushed cutely at her own Suspiciously Specific Denial.

Madoka briefly considered taking advantage of these circumstances and running as fast as she possibly could. But she knew perfectly well that even though she could run, she'd never be able to hide anywhere that Haruhi would not find her. Under the circumstances, the only real option was to sit down where she usually sat between Koizumi and Nagato, and say, with patently false cheerfulness, "Well, then I guess we'd better just sit and wait."

"Mm-hm," Mikuru agreed, nodding and smiling cutely.

Madoka successfully fought the temptation to punch that cute smile. She didn't really understand why she didn't like the Brigade's official maid, to put it mildly. Really, there was nothing wrong with her. Parts of her personality and person would probably be extremely attractive. Take her nervousness and insecurity, for example — in someone like Ako, those tendencies were extremely attractive, to the point where Madoka had been fighting feeling turned on by her bandmate for quite some time.

But the cumulative effect of all the cute and sweet traits that Mikuru possessed, in Mikuru, made her ... grostesque. Like some sort of weird Frankenstein creature assembled from everything that people judged to be, well, moe. It all made her very hard to take.

"Would you like some tea?" Mikuru asked plaintitively. "I could make some tea? Would you like that?"

"That would be nice. Thank you, sempai," Madoka answered, trying very hard to keep her teeth from clenching. Even Haruhi's inanity was preferable to this crap. Plus it would be divided between the two of them, and probably Mikuru would get the worst of it. She watched the high schooler make the tea, deciding that she understood why Nagato spent so much time reading. This place could be really dull some—

"Here we are," Mikuru said, turning with the tea tray held at the level of her bosom. Then she took a step towards the table.

Perhaps she was wearing a different maid outfit than usual. After all, variety was the spice of life. That would explain why her foot came down on the edge of her skirt and she fell forward, spilling the contents of the kettle of tea right onto her chest. Mikuru shrieked in shock and pain.

Madoka was on her feet at once and quickly went around the table to help. She might dislike Asahina, but that wasn't the same thing as enjoying her in pain. She quickly got the tray and the kettle off of her and set them down on the table. "Napkins, where are napkins?" she asked.

"O-o-over there," Mikuru pointed, gesturing to where they were set on one of the shelves. "Oh, I'm going to have to take this off," she added, gesturing to her maid outfit's top.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Madoka said absently, as she picked up the napkins. "Actually, you might want to run cold water over your, um, the part where the tea went, or you're probably going to have a burn."

"Hweh," Mikuru said, unbuttoning the top and pulling it off. "Is it —"

"Actually, I think it's okay, all the cloth probably absorbed most of it, let me just —" She started to wipe up the remaining tea on Mikuru's bosom with the napkin.

"Thank you, Kugimiya-san, you're very nice," Mikuru said winsomely.

At that precise moment, the door slid open and Haruhi strolled in. "Well, that takes care of —" she started to say, then stopped dead in her tracks.

Madoka abruptly realized how this looked, and abruptly remembered Haruhi explicitly telling her that Mikuru was 'hers', and all the times she'd seen Haruhi groping and otherwise being inappropriate towards Mikuru, and the words, the awful, incriminating words, bubbled out of her mouth.

"It's not what it looks like!"

"I know that," Haruhi said calmly, closing the door behind her.

"You do?" Madoka said, now really frightened. Haruhi angry was familiar, Haruhi calm was utterly unprecedented.

"Yep," Haruhi confirmed. "You see, what it looks like is that Mikuru, being clumsy, spilled tea all over herself, and Kugimin, being a good person, tried to help her clean up."

"Uh, wait, no, in that case, it is what it —" Madoka said, not even complaining about the hateful nickname.

"No, no, I'm not fooled. What it is, rather than that, is a fairly blatant attempt by Mikuru to seduce Kugimin. Mikuru, we've discussed this, and you should know better by now." Haruhi shook her head in somber dismay.

"What," Madoka asked.

"Oh, yes. Mikuru really gets around. Aside from me, where, well, let's say it was pretty much mutual, she's seduced Itsuki-kun, and Nagato-chan, and her friend Tsuruya, and those two guys who hang around with Kyon, and that butler and maid on that island we visited, and ... how many of the guys in the computer club have you been with, anyway? I mean at any one time."

Hesitantly, blushing, looking down at the floor, Mikuru held up three fingers.

"In fact, you could say that Mikuru is pretty much the club bicycle," Haruhi said, as she walked right up to the maid, and, with a quick pair of tugs, pulled the straps of Mikuru's bra off her shoulders so that it collapsed to her waist, leaving her topless. She turned to leer at Madoka. "Wanna ride?"

"Uh," Madoka temporized.

"I'll take that as a yes," Haruhi said, once more demonstrating her keen interest in other people's opinions.

LEMON ENSUES!

"Not bad for a junior high kid," Haruhi said wantonly, as she lay back on the table, head in Mikuru's lap, holding Madoka's head down in her own. "I wish I'd had classmates like you when I was in junior high. Probably still would've cut class every chance I got, but it would have been more fun doing it."

How did this happen? Madoka thought wearily. All I wanted was to get close to a cool guy, not start having lesbian orgies! Oh, I hope Misa never finds out about this ... On these notes, she slowly faded into unconscousness.

Haruhi passed out silently from her own exertions a few moments later, leaving only Mikuru awake in the room. She reached down to gently caress Haruhi's hair.

"It's really only you," she said, in a voice utterly removed from her usual whiny tone. "The others, they're part of the mission. I do it with them because of classified information. But when I'm with you, it's because I want to be.

"I love you, mama. I can't wait until you and papa get together. We'll have so much fun when that happens." She bent down to kiss Haruhi's lips one more time, and then snuggled up to sleep herself.

Happy Mother's Day, everybody!

If you won't I'll slit your throat/Won't you please be nice?
IniquitusTheThird Laugh into the rain. from Wossname. Since: Dec, 2010
Laugh into the rain.
#7690: May 8th 2011 at 5:44:36 PM

SEVERAL HOURS OF SEX LATER.

Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)
NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
#7691: May 8th 2011 at 6:34:52 PM

[up] I wish...

[up][up] Wait. So, Haruhi is Mikuru's...? Oooh. Ooooooh. Ooooooooh. o_o

IniquitusTheThird Laugh into the rain. from Wossname. Since: Dec, 2010
Laugh into the rain.
#7692: May 8th 2011 at 6:38:58 PM

[up] This is the guy who gave us the "and incest" bit in the comment above, dont'cha know?

I did actually go ಠ_ಠ at first. But then I...

Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7693: May 8th 2011 at 6:44:46 PM

[up]If I actually follow through on my idea, that stuff will seem like child's play.

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NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
#7694: May 8th 2011 at 6:46:41 PM

[up][up] Just because I've seen it, doesn't mean I don't react to it anymore. wink

IniquitusTheThird Laugh into the rain. from Wossname. Since: Dec, 2010
Laugh into the rain.
#7695: May 8th 2011 at 6:50:54 PM

Someone remind me: What're 'The Aristocrats' again? Is it one sordid mess of incest and bizarreness like every noble family seems to be, or something even nastier with... erm, 'special' rooms?

Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7697: May 8th 2011 at 6:56:25 PM

[up][up]And keep in mind, the one telling the joke is Chachazero.

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IniquitusTheThird Laugh into the rain. from Wossname. Since: Dec, 2010
Laugh into the rain.
#7698: May 8th 2011 at 6:59:42 PM

...Give it to me as hard as you can. I want to see everything your little mind can dredge up from the sum of human indecency.

In a totally bisexual way. I'd say heterosexual, but that'd be lying.

Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)
Carltonwk nwafc from Cleveland, Ohio Since: Mar, 2011
nwafc
#7699: May 8th 2011 at 7:25:23 PM

This will end well...(Prepares brain bleach)

...
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#7700: May 8th 2011 at 7:35:25 PM

[up][up]If I actually do that, I feel like this is going to end horribly. We'll see.

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