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NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009
#35201: Apr 9th 2012 at 11:14:06 AM

I don't know why, but I just had to toss in Yue and Haruna at the end there. I really love having those two play off each other.

Kurush from Stockholm Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: Desperate
#35202: Apr 9th 2012 at 11:14:28 AM

(sigh) Random scene, after the horribleness of our favorite bookworm losing her eyesight and getting back onto her training.

Gromph wondered what had become of his apprentice this morning, since she was late for the combat training session with the other students at Sorcere. So he walked over to her room and went inside without knocking and...

"What?" he simply asked when he saw her.

"Don't ask," was all she said in first reply.

"You are a horse," he stated. Since she told him to not ask, that's exactly what he was not going to do.

"Technically, I'm a pony... which is a... small horse, so yes. I am." She replied rather hastily.

"You even have a unicorn horn." He just had to touch it to confirm it was real.

"I know," she said.

"And pegasus wings," he pointed out too.

"I know," she replied.

"Your mane is longer than your normal hair, the eyes are deformed..." he continued.

"I know," she continued.

"Your entire body structure is like something a child would design and akin to your original look..."

"I know."

"And..." he noted her rear legs. "are those books on the top of your haunch?"

"Yes," she said almost annoyed.

"Another mission for your..."

"Yes. Which is why I could not come earlier to the training session over at Sorcere, it's part the job and part waiting for this polymorph to go away. As much as I like having books as a cutie mark, I like having fingers."

"Cutie mark?" He was almost afraid to ask that, but he did not understand the term.

"Don't ask," She simply told him.

I am so saving this one.

edited 9th Apr '12 11:16:12 AM by Kurush

MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#35204: Apr 9th 2012 at 1:25:41 PM

@No Limit & Japanese Teeth: I knew that, but what I didn't get is how "Yue is right" about it being "the most accurate take" on their adventures.

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#35205: Apr 9th 2012 at 1:46:46 PM

It's a crack at how the movie and the animes suck at being faithful.

edited 9th Apr '12 1:47:04 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#35206: Apr 9th 2012 at 3:29:26 PM

[up]Not to mention a lot of fanworks. And Neo. And the live action.

JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#35207: Apr 9th 2012 at 3:40:10 PM

@Marq: Yeah, it's basically a jab at how lousy the adaptations tend to be. Outside of some of the OV As, pretty much all of them are way inferior to the original.

[up]Don't forget the Spin-Off Babies.

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NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#35208: Apr 9th 2012 at 3:44:15 PM

Although I want to reiterate that, beyond the stupid starting premise, I liked the movie ending better than the manga ending. I mean, I disliked it less.

MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#35209: Apr 9th 2012 at 4:09:07 PM

[up][up] Hey, I liked Negima Ito-Bun!

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#35210: Apr 9th 2012 at 4:46:00 PM

It would have been better if they hadn't tried to keep the romantic comedy aspects. The basic concept could have worked, but the emphasis on crushes and whatnot just ended up being creepy.

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SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#35211: Apr 9th 2012 at 4:49:20 PM

SCM, do we really need more planning for this chapter? The assembled group has already discussed several attack plans, and anyway, they won't be able to enact them in any case, with what will happen at the chapter's end. So, since the TLR and Rayearth subplots are done for this chapter, and so is the Nodoka-Create stuff, I don't think I can add anything else but the Quartum dinner scene, a segment with Chigusa accidentally triggering Arcueva (which is giving me a lot of headaches, since I can't get it right no matter what), and maybe some extra stuff around the conclusion of your infodump to close the chapter (but I need that segment first for it). Other than that, I'm stuck before jumping to the next chapter.

If you want, send me what you've tried and I'll take care of Chigusa activating Arcueid and Eva. And I don't mean we show them actually planning, more like snippets that imply that's what's happening during the Clow subplot. At the very least, we need a transition That shows dinner ending and Shooing Away The Clowns for them to plan…

Okay, I'll take care of that. I need to pull my weight anyway. So, yeah, I'll write the ends of the exposition, Chigusa waking Arcueid (didn't you want to write a scene where the Konokas trash talk Tsukuyomimand Chigusa?), and the snippets that imply a planning scene is happening.

Hey, who just signed onto the backup thread as Tmdagger?

edited 9th Apr '12 4:52:10 PM by SCMof2814

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#35212: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:32:09 PM

You know, the Spin-Off Babies trying to be like their older counterparts would have been hilarious. I mean, seeing Ito Bun!Fate get the crap beaten out of him by a group of toddlers imitating the Assault On The Gravekeeper's Palace would have been utter hilarity.

"The fu are your students doing, Negi?"

"... I'll never show them the Ala Alba DVD again..."

edited 9th Apr '12 5:43:55 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#35213: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:43:24 PM

[up] Agreed.

It would have been better if they hadn't tried to keep the romantic comedy aspects. The basic concept could have worked, but the emphasis on crushes and whatnot just ended up being creepy.
Uh, hello? School kids, even toddlers/preschool-age ones, can and do develop innocent crushes on teachers that they feel are very "cool", nice, or generally much more approachable than others. The toddler 3-A girls almost certainly only have an innocently romanticized understanding of what marriage is all about, involving nothing more than cooking meals, cleaning the house, cleaning the hubby's ears, WAFF-y hugs, and all that — well, except perhaps Haruna, and maybe Misa and/or Kazumi.

edited 9th Apr '12 5:44:00 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
Cygnus Fist of the thunder god from Mahora Evil Academy Since: Jan, 2001
Fist of the thunder god
#35214: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:45:07 PM

I think so too. And I liked Negima!?, even if it was inferior to the manga.

Geez, this boards kinda inactive today, barely a page. And yet all of you do the majority of your posting past midnight...

Oh, BTW guys, I present to you KONOKA'S EVIL MAKEOVER. Brought to you by a healthy dose of Twister -KINGDOM MIX-.

Rosen Queen Co. was the massive conglomerate company that sold the majority of demon goods. As far as Gehenna was concerned, if the laws didn't say they couldn't sell it, they sold it (and hell, sometimes they had a hand in a few black markets). Nobody knew who actually ran Rosen Queen, but the company had good customer service most of the time so people never bothered. The company had first focused on selling weapons and armor often used by the humanoid demons, but had since expanded their business, mostly because making money was the best prerogative.

When it came down to it, though, Rosen Queen was best known for its weaponry, armor, and clothing, and that's what the trio were here for.

Well, Konoka did have fun, shopping about and finding nice casual clothes, but now that it came to picking out her evil suit, she was perpetually stuck in the changing room.

“Any good overlord needs style!” Yui commented, bringing a stack of several outfits. “And for that style to stand out!”

“Those look nice and all, but I wanted to shop around some more...!” Konoka said.

“Nonsense!” Yui dismissed. “Now, let's start with the gothic lolita look!” And she gave Konoka a black dress, bordered with white frills, flowery stockings, and shoes.

As Konoka moved to get the stuff on, she noted Yui was still staring. “Are you trying to get a free look on me?”

“Drat, you saw right through me.” Yui snapped her fingers in an overly dramatic fashion.

“I'm not convinced that's sarcasm,” Konoka murmured as she shut the curtains on the other woman's face. Moments later, she appeared, dressed in it. “Feels nice, but...”

“Oh, that's nice!” The black-haired spider woman clapped.

Satsuki, further back, added, “Not bad.”

Konoka twirled in her dress, pleased from their praise. “Not bad, huh?”

Yui looked closer, her expression switching to a thoughtful frown. “Not bad, but not good enough. Your body is too healthy to suit that look.”

“Too healthy?!” Konoka reeled back. A pause. “Wait, does that mean something perverted?”

“Says the girl-loving panty thief?” Yui countered. “Anyway, let's try something else.” She swiped the gothic dress and came back with something else, coming with a much more elaborate, vampirish, and very blue dress. “Try this.”

Konoka had a bit more difficulty pulling that on, but put it on she did. “Very pretty!” A twirl. “Tough to move in, though. Style's useless if you can't move pretty too.” From a moment of thinking, she also remembered the senator Rozalin. “Well, someone can, but it's not me.”

“Ah, so you are thinking in practicality,” Yui grinned. “In that case, the opposite direction, then.” She was off again. Konoka sighed, and began to work off that behemoth dress. However, just as she succeeded, Yui was back, bringing...

“A suit?” Konoka blinked. Something inside her panged, as if she could remember an excitement that wasn't her own. Setsuna liked wearing boyish suits...

“Perhaps you can get into the business of evil instead of the theatrics.” Yui suggested, as Konoka slipped into the suit. To her surprise, it felt comfortable—if a bit tight. This clash of opinions within herself made her falter as the spider woman looked on. “Or maybe you just might be confused for a reverse trap.”

“A reverse what?” Satsuki blinked.

“Girl that looks like a pretty boy.”

“Ah.”

“I'm not sure if I want to go that route,” Konoka said. “Feels strangely good, though.”

“All right, NEXT!” Yui once again pulled the clothes away with ridiculous speed the moment Konoka left them, and came back with more clothes of evil. By now, the overlord was in the groove, and managed to quickly put on this next suit. Except...

Labored breath escaped the heavy mask Konoka wore. “I can't breathe!” Konoka whined, but even that sounded haunting and despairing. The labored breath grew louder and more urgent, and Satsuki might have been frightened had Konoka not being flailing and wheezing like an old man too far from his oxygen tank. So while she sounded scary, Konoka unfortunately looked stupid.

Yui sighed, smacking her palm to her face.

Konoka threw off the mask. “No! This is not how I like this!” She said. “Let me out! I wanna go shopping myself!”

“No, you must try this on!” Insisted the chipper spider woman, bringing in her next costume.

“No way, there's too many spikes on it!” Konoka protested. But unfortunately, Yui was faster, and Konoka found herself in the rather tacky suit.

“That doesn't really suit you at all...” Yui murmured, examining the dominatrix-like suit all over.

“That's what I said!” Konoka said, trying not to poke at the armor at her side.

“Onward to something else!” Yui screeched, and went off to go find another costume.

Konoka sighed as she removed the terrible suit, and peeked outside just to make sure Satsuki was all right. “Satsuki-chan?” She called out.

A glance around the wide areas of the store didn't reveal her just yet. Instead, she spotted what looked like heavy, white armor with gold outlines and a thinly spiky gold crest. Something deep in her mind stirred.

She could imagine nightmarish blue eyes looking at her from the visor. The thought of it filled her with pain—from that alone, she knew her memories were dredging up the previous overlord, Zegnant.

She shook herself, not wanting to think of that man further.

Her friend in question was now talking to a rather animated humanoid demon, a girl wearing armored pants and a thick belt like a sports bra. If she squinted hard enough, she could see small curved horns a little above and behind her ears in her short, green hair. As if just noticing her calling out, Satsuki turned around and waved. The new person made an apologetic gesture before scampering off, and Satsuki came over to Konoka. “Are you all right? Yui has been at this for a while now.”

“Yeah!” Konoka chirped, before taking a sigh. “Just a little tired, is all. It's a bit more exhausting than I thought. I'm still not feeling the evil makeover. I don't know if it's worth anything.”

“Don't worry so much about it,” Satsuki said. “Maybe you can think of something later.” Like perhaps, dropping this evil business altogether.

“I suppose you're right,” Konoka said, a small smile on her face. A moment of silence was between them. However, Konoka's ear twitched as she heard the pitter-patter of giant spider legs.

Yui was back, now letting her extra limbs carry her faster. “I think I've got something good this time.”

Konoka, somewhat skeptical, looked at the bundle Yui now held. “Really?”

“Try it.”

And slowly, she took the bundle and slipped back inside the dressing room.

As she was changing, Satsuki turned to Yui. “What are you guys aiming for?” Satsuki was not a very paranoid person at all, but the way Ars Goetia had been talking to Konoka lately, it bothered her for some reason. And it wasn't just the imaginary crush they perceived she had on Konoka.

Yui shrugged. “Who knows?” She turned to Satsuki. “Awfully odd for you to ask now. Are you sure you're not just being overprotective? I'm not here as Ars Goetia, you know. I do this for my own amusement.”

“So you say,” Satsuki said, though she oddly felt relief. Ars Goetia was already effective at bullying Konoka during court, if they bothered her outside, there might be little she could do. She was normally above such petty emotions, but the cook couldn't help but feel irritated about this.

Those thoughts flew out the window when Konoka stepped out. Satsuki's eyes widened. Yui furrowed her brow, a highly sharp grin on her face. “I never knew it was THIS good.”

Konoka was wearing a kimono once more—however, it lacked any covering of her shoulders, and her sleeves were detached. The top half of her kimono was black, the bottom apparently decorated like white flames, with slits showing off stocking-covered legs. Her platform sandals were still on. The edges looked somewhat frayed and frilly, giving her a fairly wraith-like look. She carried herself slowly, as if going through a funeral procession.

It chilled Satsuki to the bone.

Struck with one last idea, Yui slung a web and grabbed a small umbrella, then tossed it to Konoka. “Pose with that.”

The overlord seemed confused as she caught it, but gently opened it and lifted one hand until it shaded her face slightly. Her eyes seemed to glow from the shade of both it and the bangs of her hair.

Satsuki stared. “Konoka-san?” she ventured. Was she even Konoka any more?

At once, Konoka squealed in delight, hopping up and down! “Finally, I got it! I love this!” That chilling effect she had earlier was completely lost to her usual cheery self. “It's comfortable, easy to run in and it's overlord spooky!”

“Glad you think so!” Yui crowed. “Let's buy it.


And so they returned back to Gehenna itself later that day. Konoka, Satsuki, and Yui stepped back into the Gate Terminus, alongside another demon. T'ifr shut the gate, and came to look at the overlord. “Ah, you look wonderfully evil, Ms. Overlord. It sets my heart aflutter.”

“Thank you!” Konoka made a hasty bow, now not so certain she wanted that as a compliment.

“I'm sure, now that you've got a little more confidence, you can get to work on a heart of evil,” Yui declared. “It really is a dashing look for you!”

“I suppose!” Konoka handily agreed.

“Do you know what would make that look even more dashing?”

“What?”

One moment Konoka was staring at Yui with a usual blank smile, the next she found danging in the air, her hands, arms, knees, and ankles yet again bound by webbing. “Waaaahh!” She struggled, trying to get free.

Satsuki, who had been mostly quiet up until now, was struggling to suppress a nosebleed, and she still had no idea why.

“I was right! You look even more adorable when you're helpless like this!” Yui said. “Maybe one of these days I'll get you to start liking it. Toodles~” And Yui slung her webs to run away.

“Eeuugghhh! You'll pay for this, spider-woman!” Konoka cried, still flailing around in her bonds.

While she had been stunned from Yui's sudden getaway, T'ifr did finally notice that there was a fourth person there, currently wallowing in her own pity. It was the same green-haired demon that Satsuki had been talking to earlier. “Aiyah...” she sighed. “...broke again...”

“Umm. Who are you?” T'ifr asked, leering down on her.

The stranger paused, as if caught in headlights. “Eh?” She looked around, at the struggling overlord, the cook trying to help her, but mostly at the complete change in setting. “We're not in Rosen Queen anymore?”

“Yeah. It's closed now.”

“EEEEEHHHHHH?!”

And yeah, any errors, missed potentials or criticisms are welcome.

edited 9th Apr '12 5:54:59 PM by Cygnus

You know you want to add more tropes to THIS.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#35215: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:46:07 PM

Fun could have been drawn from the sheer ludicrousness of the premise alone.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Anemoi Snow Queen and Proctologist from Arendelle Proctology Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
Snow Queen and Proctologist
#35216: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:46:22 PM

[up][up]

I ended up crushing on every single one of my sister's best friends.

It might LOOK creepy, but it's natural

You know you want to add love
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#35217: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:54:45 PM

[up][up][up] "I think so too" on what?

[up] See? Real life example among us. Hell, I happen to have crushed on my own ten-years-something-older half-sister while I was in elementary school — mostly because she was among the nicest people to me that I've ever known (she was arguably nicer to me than my own mom, who herself is very kindhearted in general); I've even thrown a sulking hissy fit when she ended getting married. I've outgrown it, of course.

edited 9th Apr '12 5:56:10 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#35218: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:55:16 PM

Funny. I had the reverse problem. And let me tell you, it might look creepy from the outside, but having a girl six years younger than you trying to seduce you gets very old very fast.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Cygnus Fist of the thunder god from Mahora Evil Academy Since: Jan, 2001
Fist of the thunder god
#35219: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:56:55 PM

[up][up]That would be the comedy potential of Fate vs. the toddlers of doom, as well as the inferior spin offs having their own merit.

edited 9th Apr '12 5:57:22 PM by Cygnus

You know you want to add more tropes to THIS.
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#35220: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:57:04 PM

[up][up]"Seduce"? How does a prepubescent know the concept of seduction? Wait, how old was she?

[up] What about toddlers/prepubescents crushing on adolescents/adults?

edited 9th Apr '12 5:57:53 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#35221: Apr 9th 2012 at 5:58:10 PM

You know, the premise could have been hilarious, but they tried to make it a romantic comedy, which, although true to real life (The Springfield Charm is ageless), is creepy.

[up]13. After I confirmed that I made it a rule not to allow her into the house while I was there. You'd be surprised how slutty girls these days are.

edited 9th Apr '12 5:59:46 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#35222: Apr 9th 2012 at 6:02:29 PM

Oh, I'm totally aware that it can be completely innocent, but in the context of the fact that it was a spinoff of a pseudo-harem series, it just seemed weird. I'm not saying that every Precocious Crush in fiction is creepy, just that in this particular case it just seemed really odd due to the source material. Although I will say the first few chapters weren't too bad on that front, but stuff like this chapter is just uncomfortable to read. You can't de-age everyone into kindergarten and still have have fanservice antics without it being creepy.

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Cygnus Fist of the thunder god from Mahora Evil Academy Since: Jan, 2001
Fist of the thunder god
#35223: Apr 9th 2012 at 6:03:07 PM

[up][up][up]Personally, I prefer Konoka giving Secchan the nickname "Stalker-sama"

edited 9th Apr '12 6:03:30 PM by Cygnus

You know you want to add more tropes to THIS.
JapaneseTeeth Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing from Meinong's jungle Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Existence Weighed Against Nonbeing
#35224: Apr 9th 2012 at 6:05:53 PM

Also, I need a ridiculous song for Yue to have as her ringtone.

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Cygnus Fist of the thunder god from Mahora Evil Academy Since: Jan, 2001
Fist of the thunder god
#35225: Apr 9th 2012 at 6:06:38 PM

[up]BANANAPHONE.

You know you want to add more tropes to THIS.

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