B: Poverty, slavery, drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes are outlawed entirely. Peace is kept forever.
L: Same as B but without the peace benefit.
J: The world is now a mad max wasteland. Guns are outlawed, so people die by being punched to death instead. Everyone is a mutant. It’s complete chaos.
I wish for Beavis and Butthead.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”B: Beavis and Butthead become real, and you're friends with them.
L: Beavis and Butthead become real. They are all that exists now. There is nothing left but Beavis and Butthead. There is no meaning to life but Beavis and Butthead.
J: Beavis and Butthead become real... and immediately start torturing you with cartoonish antics.
I wish my troper friends and I were all together.
Please make this canon, DC. I love the idea of the Joker and Harley's hyenas acting like them.B: You host a big party for your friends.
L: You and all your friends are fused into an Amalgamate-esque abomination.
J: Same as B. But they all want to kill you.
I wish for four arms.
Edited by HyperReal on Nov 14th 2018 at 8:22:09 AM
Toby Fox is the only person to make an mpreg homestuck rock opera and then compose music for smash bros.B: You grow two extra human arms similar to the ones you already have, one on each side under your existing arms.
L: You get a pile of four decapitated arms.
J: You also grow two extra arms... however, since you never specified WHERE the new arms would be, one is now growing out of your face and the other out of your back.
I wish I could turn invisible
Edited by Zanreo on Nov 14th 2018 at 5:42:39 PM
My favorite failed console tbhLet's bring this back!
Ben: You get a delicious, perfectly-baked pizza that's figuratively "the size of Texas" - huge by pizza standards, but still at a reasonable size you can properly eat and store the leftovers.
Lit: You get a pizza the size of a book
.
Jack: A pizza that's literally the shape and size of the state of Texas gets dropped on top of you, crushing you and everything in a certain radius. And it only has your least favorite toppings.
I wish Nintendo released a new Rhythm Heaven!
tbh the last one wouldn't even be bad
Edited by Zanreo on Nov 23rd 2024 at 3:15:52 PM
My favorite failed console tbhBenevolent Genie: Well they cooked that out pretty fast. And it’s got the great story and characters, with even more on top of it. It’s gonna sell like hotcakes!
Literal Genie: Here's a book of Aesop's fables involving insects. You're not gonna find that many, because they put them all in the first volume.
Jackass Genie: Okay. Give me three-to-five years to make it. And I’ll make the company slave away and lay them off, but the end result will still be a buggy, incoherent mess.
I wish I was never sick again.
Edited by CanuckMcDuck1 on Nov 23rd 2024 at 8:17:29 AM
Do not mess with creatures which you do not understand.Benevolent Genie: Not only are you cured of whatever disease you might be having right now (e.g. the cold, the flu), you're now unable to receive any physical nor mental illnesses like dementia ever.
Literal Genie: You'll be unable to catch the next disease you might catch, but after that you'll still catch others. After all, you didn't specify if you didn't want to be sick forever.
Jackass Genie: Since being outside increases the chance of being sick, you're placed in a sterilized cage unable to move, so you won't catch any more diseases ever.
I wish I always got good grades.
Benevolent Genie: You will always get the best grade ever, even if you suck at the subject and/or didn't study
Literal Genie: You will still get Cs or Ds, since these are still good in that thwy are passing grades, but never Fs.
Jackass Genie: Because you always get goog grades, your parents have higher standards of you, and will get mad if you got The B Grade
I wish the next Puyo Puyo game will release this year on all devices
Edited by Memer999 on Nov 23rd 2024 at 8:42:47 AM
AITA for injecting my daughter with a known lethal substance?B: The game is released and gets good reviews and a sizable playerbase due to its accessibility.
L: The game is playable on all devices. This means it has to be extraordinarily simplistic to work on, say, a Game n' Watch, a Nokia flip phone, a toaster, your headphones, ect. The result is a game that's not very fun and only regarded as a novelty.
J: The game is playable on all devices, is a full-fledged game, and is automatically installed on all devices. This results in any device current or future that can't handle it crashing irrevocably.
I wish it would stop snowing outside.
regulation pigeonBen: It stops snowing outside for the rest of the day, and at least a few more days.
Lit: It now stops snowing outside, forever, everywhere. Thanks, climate change!
Jack: Sure, it stops snowing outside... it now snows inside instead. Have fun cleaning all that up!
I wish I could always remember my dreams! My favorite failed console tbh
B: You now have the ability to immediately remember every last bit of the dreams you want to remember, so you can write your favorite ones down and potentially create a work Based on a Dream.
L: You remember every last one of your dreams…including ones that you don't want to remember.
J: Now all of your dreams are nightmares and you'll always remember every last one of them.
I wish there was a Video Game Movie of Pizza Tower. My mother nicknamed me, hence the username.
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Ben: you always remember your dreams, and they are always cool or memorable.
Lit: you remember your dreams, but like a lot of dreams, they are often really weird or don't make sense.
Jackass: you remember your nightmares especially.
Ben: it's good and brings it mainstream popularity
Lit: it exists but doesn't do much for it's popularity
Jackass: it becomes a So Bad Its Horrible movie that tanks it's popularity.
I wish to be able to write good stories.
Edited by Superjohn on Nov 24th 2024 at 9:53:45 AM
"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"Benevolent Genie: Not only are you able to write better stories than Fyodor Dostoevsky, George Orwell, and Stephen King, you now have top skills at every storytelling medium in the world, ranging from film to TV series to radio series.
Literal Genie: You get to write stories that are only considered "good" by your friends, but to others... eh, not so much.
Jackass Genie: Your stories may be good in concept, yes, but the execution is so bad your books are burned for "spreading negativity" by priests and people wonder why you even dared to be an author at all.
I wish for 200 dollars.
Benevolent Genie: 200 dollars appear for you to collect.
Literal Genie: You get 200 sand dollars.
Jackass Genie: The 200 dollars are counterfeit and now the police are after your ass.
I wish that when my body is fully soaked in water, I become turned into the opposite gender, and the reverse effect happens if I get fully soaked in water again. I literally cannot make out with a television the fuck
Benevolent: "Voila! Just one bath of water and you go from a man to a woman, and vice versa."
Literal: "Okay, I'll dump you into the Pacific Ocean instead."
Jackass: "Hah! Even if I pour boiling hot water you'd still turn into a girl anyway. And even if you're a girl doused in extremely cold water, you'd still become a boy anyway. And this process will repeat for as many times as I like it...because you didn't tell me the temperature of the water or the kind of water you wanted to be doused in."
I wish I was never afraid again.
Edited by YourEternalTroper on Nov 26th 2024 at 3:29:39 AM
The stage is my opera! The race is my play! This performance is my drama! I am...T.M. Opera O!B: Now you can’t feel fear!
L: You cannot feel any type of fear. However, it gets rid of primal fears, so you no longer fear dangerous things.
J: The genie removes your fear, then pushes you off a cliff, because you wouldn’t be scared.
I wish for a 1TB ram computer with a 64Ghz processor and 24TBs of storage.
Character in Avatar: Shouki Naifunage, OC. She has killed at least 99 people. I'm a man. NEW ADDITION TO AVATAR: COUNTRY FLAGSB: You get the computer, exactly as wished.
L: A computer with those specifications appears in front of you, but you don't actually have ownership of it. You still have to buy it.
J: You get a pet rock with a name tag that reads "1TB ram computer with a 64Ghz processor and 24TBs of storage".
I wish I had a great singing voice.
regulation pigeonB: You now have such a beautiful singing voice that you end up as one of the best singers on Earth.
L: You have a beautiful singing voice. That's all. It's not like you're gonna become a singer or anything.
J: You have such a beautiful singing voice to the point where you get kidnapped and cut into so that the secrets of your voice can be learned and genetic clones of your voice can be sold on the dark web.
I wish P. J. Hogan made a sequel to his Peter Pan (2003) film, along the lines of Return to Never Land. My mother nicknamed me, hence the username.

B: The dog only pees where it won't bother anyone.
L: They stop.
J: Now they're instead crapping on it.
I wish nobody would ever have a reason to go to war ever again.