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Jackass Genie- The Forum Game

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Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#426: Jul 3rd 2009 at 9:58:59 PM

You forgot to make a wish, Tangent.

Tangent128 from Virginia Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
#427: Jul 3rd 2009 at 10:24:00 PM

I wish I hadn't forgotten.

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?
Makuta9999 (OG troper)
#428: Jul 4th 2009 at 12:14:22 AM

Benevolent Genie: Makes it so you never forgot to make a wish, then waits so you can wish it.

Literal Genie: Makes it so you never forgot to make a wish, then leaves. You never wished for it to be granted now, did you?

Jackass Genie: Makes it so you never forgot to make a wish, but has the wish be something horribly done to you, which is done until the end of time. He grants it before you can object.

I wish that the Jackass Genie was never a jackass.

edited 4th Jul '09 12:15:22 AM by Makuta9999

AFGNCAAP Not axe crazy I swear from Great Underground Empire Since: Jun, 2009
Not axe crazy I swear
#429: Jul 4th 2009 at 12:28:13 AM

The genie becomes, rather than a jackass, a magnificent bastard. You're in for it now...

I wish for my appearance to stay as it is for the rest of my life.

Some writing.
TParadox Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: The captain of her heart
#430: Jul 4th 2009 at 12:46:19 AM

Ben: you live a long life, never aging, and leave a beautiful corpse.

Lit: You want to change your hairstyle? Your hair reverts in seconds. Put on makeup? Gallons of the stuff won't show up at all. No matter how nicely or sloppily you dress, your clothes end up having the same level of sloppiness/niceness to them. And your face will never be able to show another emotion from what you're showing right now. Hope you're happy (seriously. it's one of the better things to show for the rest of your life).

Jack: you die right now, quite painfully, but not in such a way that messes up your appearance. (you walked right into that one)

I wish mosquito bites didn't itch.

edited 4th Jul '09 1:00:36 AM by TParadox

Fresh-eyed movie blog
BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#431: Jul 4th 2009 at 1:40:17 AM

Benevolent: Exactly what you mean.

Literal: It doesn't itch when a mosquito bites you. The red sore you get afterward still itches though.

Jackass: You totally lose your sense of touch.

I wish there was a quote button.

Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#432: Jul 4th 2009 at 6:06:53 AM

Ben: Time for an upgrade! The forums are drastically improved, and among the new features is a quote button.

Litty: There's a button that generates random quotes.

Jack: Must be feeling lazy today, because he just goes off to play Cave Story instead of doing something horrible to you.

I wish to be rich.

JustaUsername Weredragon | he/him from Melbourne, Australia Since: Jul, 2009
Weredragon | he/him
#433: Jul 4th 2009 at 8:46:29 AM

Benevolent: Millions of Dollars appear in your bank account.

Literal: Your first name was changed to Rich.

Jackass: You are now a bar of chocolate.

I wish I had a webcomic.

Some people say I'm lazy. It's hard to disagree.
Hylarn (Don’t ask)
#434: Jul 4th 2009 at 11:42:28 AM

Benevolent: You have an amazing, well-loved webcomic that's popular enough to pay your bills.

Literal: You own a comic that was printed on spiderwebs. So Yeah.

Jackass: You're retroactively responsible for Sonichu.

I wish I didn't have allergies.

Madrugada Since: Jan, 2001
#435: Jul 4th 2009 at 1:22:08 PM

  • Ben: You have no allergies at all
  • Lit: You only have one allergy.
  • Jack : You only have one allergy: You're allergic to water, and it's severe enough that any type of contact causes anaphalactic shock.

I wish I could type a post without needing to edit it.

edited 4th Jul '09 1:24:11 PM by Madrugada

GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#436: Jul 4th 2009 at 1:30:01 PM

Ben improves your planning skills.

Liz reminds you that you don't need to edit things, because this is all just a bunch of fun and games on the internet.

Jack takes away your edit button.

I wish %%&%**%.

edited 4th Jul '09 1:30:21 PM by GlennMagusHarvey

Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#437: Jul 5th 2009 at 12:10:58 PM

Ben: You

Litty: Someone, somewhere, is

Jack: He

I wish I could transform Mudflap back to vehicle mode.

BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#438: Jul 6th 2009 at 12:18:06 AM

Ben: You can do whatever it that you asked for.

Lit: Gives you the magic power to transform mudflaps into vehicles. (I think this time the literal genie actually gives you a better deal.)

Jackass: Gives you a car made of mudflaps. It burns up as soon as you start the engine, because y'know, it's made of mudflaps.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

edited 6th Jul '09 12:18:22 AM by BlackHumor

TParadox Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: The captain of her heart
#439: Jul 6th 2009 at 7:37:04 PM

Ben: You live a wonderful, carefree life as a fish. Lit: You wish you were a fish. The genie's gone now, so you're stuck wishing. Jack: You're a fish... and you feel this sharp pain and tugging in your lip. You've been caught, and now you're going to feel every moment of being cleaned and gutted (and cooked, and eaten. The genie's apparently not in a very good mood).

I wish some hoopy frood would open a bakery called "Donut Panic!"

edited 6th Jul '09 7:40:53 PM by TParadox

Fresh-eyed movie blog
GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#440: Jul 6th 2009 at 7:44:42 PM

Ben: Bakery named "Donut Panic" is opened by a successful entrepreneur and good chef nicknamed "Hoopy Frood".

Liz: Bakery named "Donut Panic" opened. Owner is nicknamed "hoopy frood" by the local press, which evolves into a memetic name and gives the owner a panic attack who then retires. Ownership transfers to a chain store, which later closes the shop due to lack of sufficient revenues.

Jack: Bakery named "Donut Panic" opened on some distant planet whose aliens call themselves "hoopy frood".

I wish it weren't this hard to find scholarship money.

BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#441: Jul 6th 2009 at 7:48:19 PM

Ben: Some dude near where you live opens a bakery named "Donut Panic!" It is littered with H 2 G 2 references and the food tastes good too.

Lit: A guy named "Hoopy Frood" opens a bakery named "Donut Panic" somewhere. You've got no clue where it is, and he has never read H 2 G 2, he just thinks it's a clever name.

Jackass: An alien, species name "hoopy frood" opens a bakery named "Donut Panic" as bait and abducts you as soon as you walk in.

I wish summer break was longer.

EDIT: Ignore, ninja'd.

And as long as I have your attention GMH, you missed Galeros making the RPG thread.

edited 6th Jul '09 7:51:12 PM by BlackHumor

GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#442: Jul 6th 2009 at 7:49:16 PM

Damnit! I forgot to work in the H 2 G 2 references!

Also, looks like we both agreed on the alien bit for Jack :D.

Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#443: Jul 29th 2009 at 9:43:19 PM

Ben: Better buy more suntan lotion!

Litty: Summer break is longer... Unfortunately, the rest of the year is longer, too.

Jack: The seasons never change anywhere. Nice job wrecking the global ecosystem.

I wish for a job that doesn't suck.

BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#444: Jul 29th 2009 at 10:34:06 PM

Ben: You get a job you like.

Lit: You get a job that has nothing to do with plungers, vacuum cleaners, or blowjobs. Unfortunately, it is quite crappy.

J Ass: You have no mouth and you must scream.

I wish for infinite wishes.

Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#445: Jul 29th 2009 at 10:37:01 PM

Ben: Okay!

Lit: All wishes everywhere are glad you send your regards.

Jack: You have them, but you're on fire, and anything you wish for leads to being on fire as well. If you try to wish something was fireproof, you get fireproof-proof fire; if you wish for something to be extinguished, it is extinguished by fire.

I wish for a Green Lantern Ring.

edited 29th Jul '09 10:51:48 PM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Midna Blorbonmyoji (he/she/they) from way down south in the land of the traitors (Old as dirt) Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Blorbonmyoji (he/she/they)
#446: Jul 30th 2009 at 9:39:52 AM

  • Ben.: You get one.
  • Lit.: You get a green lantern with a ring attached to it.
  • Jack.: You get one, but it's radioactive. Oops.

I wish for a new screen for my laptop.

edited 30th Jul '09 9:40:07 AM by Midna

pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDS
GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#447: Jul 30th 2009 at 2:37:40 PM

Ben gives you a new display, with instructions as to how to replace your old one.

Litty gives you a mesh screen for keeping bugs off (no pun intended).

Jack gives you a display that's unused but is actually from the factory defective pile.

I wish I could keep more things in my head.

edited 30th Jul '09 2:38:10 PM by GlennMagusHarvey

Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#448: Jul 30th 2009 at 2:40:09 PM

Ben: You gain eidetic memory.

Lit: Hammerspace for your skull!

Jackass: As Lit, but your brain is removed from it so even more carrying capacity is available. Also, the storage area is on fire.

I wish to be able to defy being Ninja'd.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#449: Jul 31st 2009 at 5:46:42 PM

Benny: Nobody speeds past you while you're composing a post.

Litty: You are never harmed by a ninja.

Jack: You are unable to read The Adventures Of Doctor Mc Ninja.

I wish she loved me.

Midna Blorbonmyoji (he/she/they) from way down south in the land of the traitors (Old as dirt) Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Blorbonmyoji (he/she/they)
#450: Jul 31st 2009 at 6:05:26 PM

  • Ben.: She loves you, and everything is beautiful.
  • Lit.: She loves you, despite having no knowledge of you prior.
  • Jack.: She loves you for all of five seconds, after which you screw up and she dumps you.

I wish for a lightbulb.

edited 31st Jul '09 6:05:51 PM by Midna

pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDS

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