Benevolent Genie: Makes it so you never forgot to make a wish, then waits so you can wish it.
Literal Genie: Makes it so you never forgot to make a wish, then leaves. You never wished for it to be granted now, did you?
Jackass Genie: Makes it so you never forgot to make a wish, but has the wish be something horribly done to you, which is done until the end of time. He grants it before you can object.
I wish that the Jackass Genie was never a jackass.
edited 4th Jul '09 12:15:22 AM by Makuta9999
The genie becomes, rather than a jackass, a magnificent bastard. You're in for it now...
I wish for my appearance to stay as it is for the rest of my life.
Some writing.Ben: you live a long life, never aging, and leave a beautiful corpse.
Lit: You want to change your hairstyle? Your hair reverts in seconds. Put on makeup? Gallons of the stuff won't show up at all. No matter how nicely or sloppily you dress, your clothes end up having the same level of sloppiness/niceness to them. And your face will never be able to show another emotion from what you're showing right now. Hope you're happy (seriously. it's one of the better things to show for the rest of your life).
Jack: you die right now, quite painfully, but not in such a way that messes up your appearance. (you walked right into that one)
I wish mosquito bites didn't itch.
edited 4th Jul '09 1:00:36 AM by TParadox
Fresh-eyed movie blogBen: Time for an upgrade! The forums are drastically improved, and among the new features is a quote button.
Litty: There's a button that generates random quotes.
Jack: Must be feeling lazy today, because he just goes off to play Cave Story instead of doing something horrible to you.
I wish to be rich.
Ben: You can do whatever it that you asked for.
Lit: Gives you the magic power to transform mudflaps into vehicles. (I think this time the literal genie actually gives you a better deal.)
Jackass: Gives you a car made of mudflaps. It burns up as soon as you start the engine, because y'know, it's made of mudflaps.
I wish I wish I was a fish.
edited 6th Jul '09 12:18:22 AM by BlackHumor
Ben: You live a wonderful, carefree life as a fish. Lit: You wish you were a fish. The genie's gone now, so you're stuck wishing. Jack: You're a fish... and you feel this sharp pain and tugging in your lip. You've been caught, and now you're going to feel every moment of being cleaned and gutted (and cooked, and eaten. The genie's apparently not in a very good mood).
I wish some hoopy frood would open a bakery called "Donut Panic!"
edited 6th Jul '09 7:40:53 PM by TParadox
Fresh-eyed movie blogBen: Bakery named "Donut Panic" is opened by a successful entrepreneur and good chef nicknamed "Hoopy Frood".
Liz: Bakery named "Donut Panic" opened. Owner is nicknamed "hoopy frood" by the local press, which evolves into a memetic name and gives the owner a panic attack who then retires. Ownership transfers to a chain store, which later closes the shop due to lack of sufficient revenues.
Jack: Bakery named "Donut Panic" opened on some distant planet whose aliens call themselves "hoopy frood".
I wish it weren't this hard to find scholarship money.
Ben: Some dude near where you live opens a bakery named "Donut Panic!" It is littered with H 2 G 2 references and the food tastes good too.
Lit: A guy named "Hoopy Frood" opens a bakery named "Donut Panic" somewhere. You've got no clue where it is, and he has never read H 2 G 2, he just thinks it's a clever name.
Jackass: An alien, species name "hoopy frood" opens a bakery named "Donut Panic" as bait and abducts you as soon as you walk in.
I wish summer break was longer.
EDIT: Ignore, ninja'd.
And as long as I have your attention GMH, you missed Galeros making the RPG thread.
edited 6th Jul '09 7:51:12 PM by BlackHumor
Damnit! I forgot to work in the H 2 G 2 references!
Also, looks like we both agreed on the alien bit for Jack :D.
Ben: You get a job you like.
Lit: You get a job that has nothing to do with plungers, vacuum cleaners, or blowjobs. Unfortunately, it is quite crappy.
J Ass: You have no mouth and you must scream.
I wish for infinite wishes.
Planescape Hijack
Ben: Okay!
Lit: All wishes everywhere are glad you send your regards.
Jack: You have them, but you're on fire, and anything you wish for leads to being on fire as well. If you try to wish something was fireproof, you get fireproof-proof fire; if you wish for something to be extinguished, it is extinguished by fire.
I wish for a Green Lantern Ring.
edited 29th Jul '09 10:51:48 PM by Haven
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku- Ben.: You get one.
- Lit.: You get a green lantern with a ring attached to it.
- Jack.: You get one, but it's radioactive. Oops.
I wish for a new screen for my laptop.
edited 30th Jul '09 9:40:07 AM by Midna
pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDSBen gives you a new display, with instructions as to how to replace your old one.
Litty gives you a mesh screen for keeping bugs off (no pun intended).
Jack gives you a display that's unused but is actually from the factory defective pile.
I wish I could keep more things in my head.
edited 30th Jul '09 2:38:10 PM by GlennMagusHarvey
Planescape Hijack
Ben: You gain eidetic memory.
Lit: Hammerspace for your skull!
Jackass: As Lit, but your brain is removed from it so even more carrying capacity is available. Also, the storage area is on fire.
I wish to be able to defy being Ninja'd.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count DorkuBenny: Nobody speeds past you while you're composing a post.
Litty: You are never harmed by a ninja.
Jack: You are unable to read The Adventures Of Doctor Mc Ninja.
I wish she loved me.
- Ben.: She loves you, and everything is beautiful.
- Lit.: She loves you, despite having no knowledge of you prior.
- Jack.: She loves you for all of five seconds, after which you screw up and she dumps you.
I wish for a lightbulb.
edited 31st Jul '09 6:05:51 PM by Midna
pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDS

You forgot to make a wish, Tangent.