Ben: You get your jet submarine, you go on AWESOME adventures with it.
Lit: Thesubmarine is there, nothing much else.
Jaq: The sub's there, but you don't get any keys. Meanwhile the goverment is freaked out because and unregistered military vessel is parked in the dock, and decide to nuke the site from orbit (it is, after all, The Only Way To be Sure ™)
I wish I could transfer my conciousness online, without going mad or getting stuck somewhere for all eternity with a urge to shout stuff.
B: Your mind is the only constant in your protean form. Even nonliving objects are open to your transformation.
L: You can only turn into things your grandmother knitted you. Contemporary Jazz turns you back.
J: Smiles and disappears. Nothing seems to have changed until next month, when your electric bill has gone down. You turn on the news only to discover that they have finally taken over, and they are burning the world of the false literature of their predecessors in the old factories and power plants. Starting with Kafka.
I wish David Lynch could make another TV show.
edited Sun, 25 Jan 2009 10:07:51 by CTrombley
Mathematics Is A Language.Benevolent: David Lynch makes a new TV show. It's even less straightforward than anything he's done before, but even more awesome.
Literal: David Lynch can make a new TV show. So can you, if you want. That doesn't mean either of you will, or that anyone will air it if you do.
Jackass: David Lynch decides to air the first-ever real Snuff Film. On national TV, no less. And guess who the star is? "Series" implies it'll take a while...
I wish for REAL ultimate power!
the dice are loaded, the deck is stacked, the game itself will hold you backBene: You become the world's greatest ninja.
Lite: You become the owner of the world's last ever genuine power station.
Jack: You get electrocuted.
I wish I could speak Polish.
Welcome To TV Tropes | How To Write An Example | Text Formatting Rules | List Of Shows That Need Summary | TV Tropes Forum | Know The StaffBen: You are suddenly completly fluent in Polish, including common Polish slang and idioms.
Litty: You learn to speak Polish as a second language. Some words still give you trouble, but it's enough to get you a job as a translator if you want.
Jack: You now speak Polish, but no longer know any other languages, and there are no other people nearby who speak Polish. Getting to Poland without the ability to communicate with anyone will prove challenging.
I wish I had a plush Balrog. Preferably one that said "Huzzah!" when you squeezed it.
Benevolent: You have a plushy of Blarog that says "Huzzah!" when you squeeze it. It somehow manages to do this with out using electronics.
Literal: You have a plush Balrog, but it's the one from Lord of the Rings.
Jackass: You have a plush Balrog, but it's life-size, living, and pissed. That it gives of "huzzah!"s when you futiley attack it one makes it creepier.
I wish for a perpetual motion machine.
You know, somehow having the doll "huzzah" without electronics manages to strike me as a pretty creepy thing for a Benevolent genie to do.
Ben: You have a perpetual motionmachine. You understand completely how it works, and, if necessary, can make more. Free energy!
Litty: You have a machine that never stops moving. Good luck keeping track of it.
Jack: You have a perpetual motion machine which generates unlimited energy. You have to use the energy constantly so the machine doesn;t overload, which would cause a chain reaction that'd make a nuclear bomb look like a birthday candle.
I wish for the Allosaurus.
Benny: Gives you the thing you want.
Litty: Gives you an Allosaurus.
Jack: Chucks you into an Allosaurus' mouth.
I wish for everyone to be nicer to each other.
Ukrainian Red CrossB: All sectarian violence ends, and diplomacy becomes the idealistic world we all wish it was.
L: People are a little nicer to each other, but the big things stay the same.
J: All world conflicts end ... and your family is scapegoated. You spend the last of your very few remaining years dodging brutal beatings and avoiding lynchings.
I wish I wasn't deathly ill anymore.
Mathematics Is A Language.Ben: People start being more thoughtful of others, and don't just think about their own gain. in a few decades, makind reaches world peace, the space elevator, the one true social order and a automat that dispenses raindows, sunshine and cinnammon buns.
Lit: People are more polite towards eachother á la Japan. But much like with Japan, there's a degree of passive agression in the politeness.
Jaq: Carebear thoughtpolice take care of anyone who isn't nice. Welcome to "California Über Alles" style police state. Smile!
I wish I had the CSI image manipulation software.
@Trombley
Ben: You're cured, yay!
Litty: Now you're only kinda ill.
Jack: You die, after all the dead never catch diseases.
(Refer to Jethro's wish.)
edited Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:26:06 by Jotun of Boredom
Umbran Climax◊Ben: You can now zoom into photos as much as you want and access a database of every face in the country to search. It has a ridiculously awesome looking GUI which doesn't slow down your computer or its searches one bit.
Litty: As above but you have to gather pictures for the database yourself, plus your computer's slower than an Innocent Fanservice Girl in a brothel.
Jack: It has only one setting. On the plus side you're the first human to ever see elementry particles. On the down side you Go Mad from the Revelation
I wish I could punch people over the internet.
edited Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:55:14 by Bisected8
TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faerB: They call you the internet enforcer. Also, assho-WHAM!
L: You can now punch people higher than a modem. You punch the genie.
J: You can punch people over the internet ... in a world where everyone but you is a Funny Animal (and Peoples have replaced Furries).
I wish Alan Turing had not been condemned by the British government for homosexuality so that he lived a full life.
Mathematics Is A Language.Benny: Alan turing got to live a rich, full life. He makes a number of important contributions to mathematics and computer science so that computers in the new timeline are more powerful and easier to use than in the old.
Litty: They don't condemn him for homosexuality, but then it turns out he was a communist. He works on computer technology for the USSR, allowing them to win the Cold War.
Jack: Instead of being condemned by the British government, he is killed by the Technocracy.
I wish to understand quantum mechanics and string theory without going insane.
Ukrainian Red CrossBen: You know know the inner workings of the universe, and thanks to your advanced understanding of the string theory, you're able to teleport and travel in time.
Lit: You get a copy of Brief History of Time For Dummies
Jaq: You learn the truth, but you cannot prove it, and it is in fact so ridiculous no-one else will believe you (turns out qwarks are subatomic sized puppies, and tachyons are shaped like ice cream cones, and instead of strings, it's silly string). Also, there aren't any practical applications.
I wish I had 10,000 euros on my bank account, clean money, not in any form of dubious origin, and I would have open access to them.
edited Wed, 28 Jan 2009 05:18:12 by JethroQWalrustitty
Benevolent: The money's there, no problems.
Literal: The money's there, but due to its sudden appearance you get investigated for forgery.
Jackass: You get the money, but only because everyone in your family died leaving it to you.
I wish I didn't have to take a test tomorrow.
People are mirrors. If you smile, a smile will be reflected.Ben: Test is postponed due to snow. Teacher decides not to set up another date for it and instead uses your highest previous test score
Lit: Teacher falls onto the tracks in the subway system and is killed. Now there's no more test, but you're wracked with guilt.
Jerk: Teacher falls onto the tracks in the subway system and is killed. Everyone there swears they saw you push her. Guess who's going to jail?
I wish I could get Zork: Grand Inquisitor to work on my computer
Ben: Gives you the best watermelon ever.
Litty: Gives you the first watermelon he sees at the grocery store.
Jack: Turns the one person in the wrold you care about most into a watermelon. Then smashes the watermelon with a sledgehammer, Galagher-style. You're traumatized, and have serious mentl breakdown any time you see a watermelon for the rest of your life.
I wish for laser vision.
B: Brings a plethora of melons and you and your friends have a melon party!
L: Eh, screw off. I ain't your melon-slave.
J: Gives you dried watermelon. The mind boggles.
I wish all of the Wachowski Brothers movies were as good as the original Matrix and they were as good directors as that film seemed to promise.
Scrounge can have it, but I reserve the right to wish this again.
edited Wed, 28 Jan 2009 09:21:36 by CTrombley
Mathematics Is A Language.Benjamin: You can shoot lasers from your eyes upon command.
Elizabeth: Your visual field is two photons wide.
Jackson: You become like Cyclops in X-Men - your eyes are constantly firing lasers which can't be turned off. Unlike Cyclops, your eyelids don't stop the lasers, and they also burn through anything you put in front of them.
I wish for everyone in the world to have superpowers, the strength and usefulness of which are directly proportional to their goodness.
Ukrainian Red CrossBenevolent: Everyone does have superpowers, and the people who are best at heart have the best ones. The world swiftly becomes a better place, as the heroes sweep the petty, self-serving rulers out of the way with their awesome power. And the individual powers are quite useful on a day-to-day basis as well.
Literal: Everyone gets super powers, but who gets which powers is determined at random. The strength and usefulness of the powers are directly proportional to how good the powers are... which is a tautology.
Jackass: As above, except the genie determines what "goodness" means in this case. And, well, you've seen what he's done so far in this thread. Dystopia ahoy!
I wish I could speak in a voice that could not be disobeyed.
the dice are loaded, the deck is stacked, the game itself will hold you backB: You get Bela Lugosi's voice.
L: You can speak in a voice that can't be disobeyed ... but it's so difficult to get your irish mystical accent just right it's not always very useful.
J: You speak in a voice that cannot be disobeyed, but you have a stroke that randomly rewires the connection between concepts and your verbal expressions.
I wish all of the Wachowski Brothers movies were as good as the original Matrix and they were as good directors as that film seemed to promise.
edited Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:45:59 by CTrombley
Mathematics Is A Language.

B: Takes you on a wonderful shopping trip as soon as you have the spare time.
L: Eh, here's your damn hair cloth. Buzz off.
J: Brings to life a hat creature who is very kind, but wants sex with your head. It can't penetrate you (thank goodness), but it feels rather disturbingly like a massage.
I wish I had a rocket submarine down at the docks. And, obviously, that making a rocket submarine made sense.
Mathematics Is A Language.