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LullTheConqueror Love Freak from eternal loli Hell Since: Jan, 2001
#226: Jan 22nd 2009 at 11:52:53 PM

Holy shit. Matrix not only posted before I could finish responding to Glenn's wish, he made the same wish I was going to make. We must have some kind of incomprehensible bond (although admittedly, my responses to Glenn's wish were different).

Benevolent: You can fly at will, Nathan Petrelli-style. It's awesome.

Literal: Gives you a ticket on the next flight out of the nearest airport. Hey, free plane ticket! Hope it's going somewhere good.

Jackass: Picks you up and hurls you into the stratosphere.

Since I should be doing Drawing homework instead of posting here anyway... I wish to be the greatest visual artist on Earth, without having to practice or study.

the dice are loaded, the deck is stacked, the game itself will hold you back
VampireBuddha Calendar enthusiast from Ireland (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Calendar enthusiast
#227: Jan 23rd 2009 at 6:35:22 AM

Ben: You have more natural talent that anyone else. You are incredibly respected as an artist and teacher throughout the visual design world.

Litty: Makes all the other visual design people worse than you.

Jack: You can only draw stick figures, but that's still better than what anyone else can do.

I wish to have sex with the next person who posts in this thread.

Ukrainian Red Cross
BobbyG vigilantly taxonomish from England Since: Jan, 2001
vigilantly taxonomish
#228: Jan 23rd 2009 at 8:55:12 AM

Bene: You have the best sex ever. And I am magically stunningly attractive and whatever gender you prefer. I always have been.

Lite: You have sex with me. It's pretty lame.

Jack: Same as Literal, but it turns out I'm actually your worst enemy. And everyone finds out about it and it's really awkward and you never live it down. And then we both wind up with an STD.

I wish Vampire Buddha had made a less awkward wish.

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CTrombley The Good Troper Since: Jan, 2001
The Good Troper
#229: Jan 23rd 2009 at 9:55:00 AM

B: Instead she gives you a better sense of humor.

L: Vampire Buddha wished for non-action.

J: Vampire Buddha wished for a graceful suicide to end the all-consuming depression.

I wish that Vampire Buddha hadn't committed suicide.

Mathematics Is A Language.
VampireBuddha Calendar enthusiast from Ireland (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Calendar enthusiast
#230: Jan 23rd 2009 at 10:52:38 AM

Ben: Changes history so I never commit suicide.

Litty: Points out that my real name isn't Vampire Buddha, so the wish is meaningless.

Jack: My suicide attempt fails, leaving me in a persistent vegetative state. I hope you're happy.

I wish for C Trombley to be happy.

Ukrainian Red Cross
JethroQWalrustitty Since: Jan, 2001
#231: Jan 23rd 2009 at 11:01:10 AM

Ben: He's now full of sunshine and puppies!

Lit: His brain chemistry flips over and he is happy for reasons he doesn'y comprehend.

Jaq: He turns into a Stepford Smiler.

I wish I had gotten the last episodes of Wire, Breaking Bad and Supernatural recorded.

raekuul Since: Jan, 2001
#232: Jan 23rd 2009 at 11:53:46 AM

Ben Evolant grants you a complete DVD Collection of all three of those series.

Lilly Literal merely changes time so that you sat at home making sure that the tapes recorded.

Jaq Arse does the same, only the tape deck eats the tapes as soon as you try to play them. Also, staying home to record the tapes got you fired and thrown in jail for some inexplicable reason.

I wish for access to the skills of a pixel artist who is reasonably good.

edited Fri, 23 Jan 2009 11:55:19 by raekuul

VampireBuddha Calendar enthusiast from Ireland (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Calendar enthusiast
#233: Jan 23rd 2009 at 12:22:55 PM

Ben: You become a fairly good pixel artist.

Litty: Gives you the phone number of a fairly good pixel artist who lives nearby.

Jack: Gives you the brain of a fairly good pixel artist. Skills are in the brain, you know.

I wish for a silly hat.

Ukrainian Red Cross
JethroQWalrustitty Since: Jan, 2001
#234: Jan 23rd 2009 at 12:40:34 PM

Ben: Yu get a silly hat

Lit: You get someone's silly hat.

Jaq: You get the pope's hat. They want it back. Also, it's on fire.

I wish I had money for a tattoo.

Matrix Since: Jan, 2001
#235: Jan 23rd 2009 at 12:44:31 PM

Ben: You get enough money for the tattoo of your choice.

Litty: You have money. Somewhere, this is enough money for a tattoo. You just don't know where.

Jack: You now have money for a tattoo, but the only one you can get is of a fluffy bunny that even Camp Gay guys will laugh at and ridicule you for.

JethroQWalrustitty Since: Jan, 2001
#236: Jan 23rd 2009 at 12:57:56 PM

(funny, a rabbit is one of the designs I had in mind, since it's my chinese Zodiac, and would be a funny statement. Screw tigers and dragons, I was born in the year of the Rabbit!)

Also, since you made no wish, I wish for fish that can whistle.

Hylarn (Don’t ask)
#237: Jan 23rd 2009 at 1:33:31 PM

Benevolent: You are now the proud owner of a whistling fish.

Literal: All fish can now whistle... If they're in the air.

Jackass: You are now a fish. You can only attempt to communicate in ear-splitting whistles.

I wish for Geneva to be invaded by statues.

Matrix Since: Jan, 2001
#238: Jan 23rd 2009 at 1:51:04 PM

Ben: Geneva now has a bunch of statues, and makes a funny joke about the Geneva Statues (as opposed to the Geneva Statutes).

Litty: Geneva gets invaded by statues. The world is baffled.

Jack: Geneva is invaded by Statues, and the world knows that you commanded them. You are found and put in Gitmo for life.

I wish for a wish.

BobbyG vigilantly taxonomish from England Since: Jan, 2001
vigilantly taxonomish
#239: Jan 23rd 2009 at 2:43:56 PM

Bene: You wish a wish that gets you exactly what you most desire, without upsetting anybody else, and it's so well worded that even a Jackass Genie has no choice but to give you something good.

Lite: You wish for cheese.

Jack: You wish for your own death. What's that? You don't want that? No, sorry, too late...

I wish I had a good sense of humour.

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Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#240: Jan 23rd 2009 at 5:43:08 PM

(What? Like cheese isn't a good wish?)

Ben: You are the funnniest man in the world.

Litty: You're capable of easily rolling with the punches and laughing even when the joke's on you.

Jack: You know more about the four bodily humors than any one man has a right to know, and are aching to share information on an outdated idea that most people just find weird.

I wish I was the king of the world.

KylerThatch literary masochist Since: Jan, 2001
literary masochist
#241: Jan 23rd 2009 at 6:12:03 PM

Benny: You are crowned King of the World. Everybody (and I do mean everybody) loves you for your admirable skill at managing the planet as a whole. It helps that not only did Benny grant you immense wisdom along with the crown, he also stayed on as your right-hand man and primary advisor.

Litty: You are crowned King of the World. You do realize what a big burden this is going to turn out to be, don't you? Good luck with that.

Jack: You are crowned King of the World... in an MMORPG. You stare daggers at Jack for the wasted wish, but he shrugs and says, "Be thankful I didn't do what Litty would have done, then have you assassinated on your first day."

I wish I had a Sorry, I Left the BGM On moment.

This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
JethroQWalrustitty Since: Jan, 2001
#242: Jan 24th 2009 at 6:42:07 AM

Ben: It happens, and it is funny, also you meet a person of you gender of choise an initiate a relationship because of the moment.

Lit: It happens, it's a bit awkward.

Jaq: It happens with Oingo Boingo's "I Love Little Girls", in front of a Parents Against Pedophiles rally.

I wish I had a heart of gold.

CTrombley The Good Troper Since: Jan, 2001
The Good Troper
#243: Jan 24th 2009 at 9:04:44 AM

B: Complains that she has nothing to change.

L: Buys you the Neil Young live concert.

J: Rips out your heart and covers it in gold plate.

I wish werewolves didn't exist.

Mathematics Is A Language.
JethroQWalrustitty Since: Jan, 2001
#244: Jan 24th 2009 at 9:24:42 AM

Ben: Er... ok, but are you sure you want to waste a wish on that?

Lit: Eh, saves using magic.

Jaq: Ok, they don't. But werelions now do.

I wish for a delicious sandwich.

Bisected8 A casual tief of punk from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
A casual tief of punk
#245: Jan 24th 2009 at 10:42:28 AM

Ben: You are given your favorite sandwich, made perfectly with alll the finest ingrediants.

Litty: Gives you a rather nice sandwich, though the filling may not be to your preferance.

Jack: The sandwich carries 20 seperate forms of poison and was stolen from the whitehouse. You have the choice of eating it, returning it (and thus being wanted for assassinating a US government official) or returning it, saying its been poisoned and interrogated as to how you know and why you stole it in the first place.

I wish for a bottomless box of jaffa cakes.

edited Sat, 24 Jan 2009 12:05:44 by Bisected8

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
BobbyG vigilantly taxonomish from England Since: Jan, 2001
vigilantly taxonomish
#246: Jan 24th 2009 at 12:39:00 PM

Bene: Gives you a box of Jaffa Cakes that never runs out.

Lite: Gives you a box of Jaffa Cakes with no bottom to it, so that when you pick up the box, they all fall out.

Jack: Drops you and the Jaffa Cakes into a bottomless pit.

I wish Bebo and EQAL would make a third series of KateModern.

edited Sat, 24 Jan 2009 12:39:22 by BobbyG

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VampireBuddha Calendar enthusiast from Ireland (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Calendar enthusiast
#247: Jan 24th 2009 at 2:33:28 PM

Jack: The sandwich carries 20 seperate forms of poison and was stolen from the whitehouse. You have the choice of eating it, returning it (and thus being wanted for assassinating a US government official) or returning it, saying its been poisoned and interrogated as to how you know and why you stole it in the first place.

Couldn't he just throw it away?

Anyway...

Benny: A third series of KateModern is made, and it's awesome.

Litty: A Postrscript Season of KateModern is made.

Jack: Everyone on Bebo.com and Eqal make a third series of KateModern. You know what they say about too many cooks...

I wish to watch the sunrise from on top of Ayer's Rock.

Ukrainian Red Cross
Bisected8 A casual tief of punk from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
A casual tief of punk
#248: Jan 24th 2009 at 4:16:59 PM

Nope, Jack made it a Clingy MacGuffin.

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#249: Jan 24th 2009 at 5:49:09 PM

Ben:Teleports you to Ayers Rock at sunrise, you watch the sunset, he teleports you back.

Lit:Teleports you to Ayers Rock, you watch the sunset, he just leaves you stranded.

Jack:Teleports you so that you are 10000 miles above Ayers Rock. You fall and die before the sun even comes up.

I wish that I knew the meaning of life.

edited Sat, 24 Jan 2009 17:50:50 by BlackHumor

Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#250: Jan 24th 2009 at 9:56:30 PM

Ben: Tells you the meaning of life. It's incedible and profound, and suddenly everything makes so much sense to you know.

Litty: Gets out a dictionary and turns to L.

Jack: You poor, naive little fool. Life has no meaning.

I wish I had a really nice hat that looked good on me.

edited Sat, 24 Jan 2009 21:58:24 by Scrounge


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