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Why aren't we having calamari like you promised?
Two boxes of donuts ought to do it.
How are we going to distract Rosanne?
Can't tell if it's a cold sore or cancer.
Do you know what that spot is on your back?
Bouncy balls?! AAAAAHHHHH! They're coming for me!
So do you have that shipment of prizes for the kids?
Well, we can't all come and go by bubble!
Scarecrow, you trained the flying monkeys to bring you here?
In the absence of kleenex, napkins, and paper towels, I find this a suitable substitute.
Why did you cum on my Pokťmon cards?
You're an Angel Witch. YOU'RE AN ANGEL WITCH!
Dude, sit down, you just got clobbered by a coconut. How Many Fingers? am I holding up?
Three bits of advice. Never talk about food with a carnivore. Never get sick in a space suit. And most important, never occupy the stall needed by a guy being sick in a space suit!
Aww man, did the tiger eat raw veggies again?
(while holding a shotgun) I don't even have a gun!
Edited by StarAndroidJaguar on Sep 26th 2019 at 9:03:13 AM
Sir, we'll need you to leave your weapons at the door if you're coming to see the king.
I don't wanna shoot you guys. I love ninjas.
Could you put down the gun? It's hard to get blood off of silk.
s c r o n c h
A N G E R Y
That was not "who was the best", that was "who was the least bad".
Who was the best Presidential cabinet member?
Not fit? I am the Doctor!
You're not fit for this surgery.
Wait, what did he say?
Sockamagee! Itís Robby Reed!
Who is that?
This is barrel justice!
Thorin Oakenshield? What are you doing in this courtroom?
I'm sorry, but I'm morally obligated to make bad winter-related puns.
Can you stop making jokes? We are being frozen alive in this cold, how can you think of puns at a time like this?!
Maybe because I am a pizza.
Edited by The0dragon on Oct 4th 2019 at 5:43:49 AM
Why won't you cook evenly?!
Hell no, leave me out of this.
Can you cover bail again? I got drusted for pug bosession again...
I don't even want to mention water polo because it's ungodly cruel to the horses!
So you're not up in arms about football, Calvinball and fireball, but you are about water polo?
Barrel rules are the worst.
Didn't your mother ever tell you not to ride barrels through the house?
Dear Peggy, what to say to Peggy? You have my eyes, you have your mother's name...When Peggy came into the world, Peggy cried, and it broke my heart...
We need a tear jerking love song, stat! What have you got for us, Leaf?!
[beat] Scientific progress goes "boink"?
Calvin, describe the scientific method.
Trust me, the leader of the Spaceship Exhibition 2024 really is multitalented.
Help! The dogs demonstrating our pet-friendly spaceship caught the kennel cough! Is there a veterinarian in the house? We can't afford a Disastrous Demonstration!
It tastes almost like nothing, except somehow worse.
Edited by Miss_Desperado on Oct 6th 2019 at 1:26:28 AM
How does that water flavored rice paper taste?
It's just a random thought that won't let go of my brain.
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