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Because I don't value my sanity highly enough, let's liveblog Sonichu

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Stormtroper from Little Venice Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: I-It's not like I like you, or anything!
#226: Feb 14th 2010 at 10:35:49 AM

Good point. I think I'll liveblog Sub-Episode 5.

And that's how I ended up in the wardrobe. It Just Bugs Me!
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#227: Feb 14th 2010 at 10:50:21 AM

Actually, since Sub-Episode 5 is the second half of Sub-Episode 4, maybe you're better off with liveblogging Sub-Episode 6. And I really want to make fun of "Crystal".

Stormtroper from Little Venice Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: I-It's not like I like you, or anything!
#228: Feb 14th 2010 at 11:07:11 AM

Alright, will do.

And that's how I ended up in the wardrobe. It Just Bugs Me!
Myrmidon The Ant King from In Antartica Since: Nov, 2009
The Ant King
#229: Feb 14th 2010 at 6:40:24 PM

So, Simonla is dead, finally.

Kill all math nerds
Komodin TV Tropes' Sonic Wiki Curator from Windy Hill Zone Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
TV Tropes' Sonic Wiki Curator
#230: Feb 14th 2010 at 6:46:00 PM

Of all the lousy...! Who the hell would rig a toilet to explode?!

Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows.
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#231: Feb 14th 2010 at 7:02:44 PM

My thoughts exactly.

Also, that's a drill bit, Chris. Not a shark tooth.

Komodin TV Tropes' Sonic Wiki Curator from Windy Hill Zone Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#233: Feb 14th 2010 at 7:19:29 PM

Kamina-kun Sonichu with Garren Lagoon.

edited 14th Feb '10 7:20:28 PM by Daionusthe23rd

MadeofMeat Since: Jan, 2001
#234: Feb 14th 2010 at 7:24:30 PM


This post was thumped by the Merciless Hammer of Doom

Zudak Since: Dec, 1969
#235: Feb 14th 2010 at 7:27:27 PM

Who the hell would rig a toilet to explode?!

*I* would.

SapphireFlame from Land of Gijinka and RP Since: Oct, 2009
#236: Feb 16th 2010 at 11:10:49 AM

All right, everyone, sorry for the late update. In the future, I hope to add some more weekday updates to the schedule, but I've been really busy lately, so I hope you can forgive me.

Anyways, this episode is called "Informal Meeting", which I presume means that Sonichu and Black Sonichu (who from this point onwards will be known as Blake, since that's the name Chris settled on and it's not quite as stupid).

This episode has a map of CW Cville and the surrounding area on its cover, in case you gave a shit about Chris' happy place. I certainly don't, and there's not much to make fun of other than Chris' poor drawing skills, so let's move on.

So in this episode we see Naitsirhc plotting to defeat Sonichu and Rosechu. Blake, for his part, is quietly playing along and occasionally looking at Naitsirhc as if to say "are you done yet?". Naitsirhc informs both Blake and the viewers that both hedgehogs are apparently in the "Zapbud fields", and that Blake's job is to kidnap Rosechu. Naitsirch, in cliched villain fashion, informs us that when Sonichu "comes for her"  *

, he'll have a surprise waiting for them. Then he does an evil laugh, because that's just what villains do. Because we all know how well kidnapping Rosechu worked the last time, after all. This raises an interesting question, actually. If Naitsirhc is just after Sonichu, then why not just kidnap Sonichu? Oh, wait, because that would be both semi-original and not misogynistic, and this is Chris we're talking about.

One "Meanwhile" later, and we see Sonichu and Rosechu lying in a field and talking about how much they love each other. Damn, I already used my Twilight joke, didn't I? Then Rosechu kisses Sonichu on the cheek, and I realize I'm still one page into this comic. Damn you, Chris!

I realize I could be making all sorts of jokes about this cliched romance, but really, I just want to skip over all this. I can only assume that this is what Chris believe romance is like: nothing but talking about how much you love each other and doing cliched romantic things. My God, this is a man who thinks that the way people act in Saturday morning cartoons is the way they act in real life. No wonder he's so inept at functioning in society. Well, that and his autism, but at least most autistic people make an attempt to at least play along with society's unwritten rules.

Mercifully, Rosechu gets a call on her cell phone, and there's a pink random musical note with what seems to be a song title and artist that I've never heard of next to it. Yes, Chris believed that Rosechu's ring tone was relevant to the story. It's apparently time for dinner, and so Sonichu decides to carry Rosechu there as they exchange sickeningly sweet nicknames for themselves and I want to cry.

No, I've put this off long enough! I'm not going to bail out on you guys. Not yet. I just hope you appreciate what I'm doing.

Suddenly, Sonic the Hedgehog. Oh, Sonic, please take me away from this comic! Can't I read about your adventures instead? Come on, I'll even play '06 if you like, just please don't make me read this comic any longer.

Okay, enough of that. Sonic is at an incredibly badly drawn intersection that reminds me of that one scene from the Wizard of Oz and randomly decides to see what's that way. Conveniently enough, Blake is also there, hiding inna bush. He thinks to himself that Sonichu is now in his sights, but he also sees someone else up ahead. So we have Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonichu carrying Rosechu approaching each other at opposite ends of the same intersection, where Blake is hiding. You got that? Good. Blake, out of nowhere, suddenly thinks to himself that he needs a countdown. Um... okay?

So Chris decides to give us a countdown. What is with this guy and countdowns? They serve no purpose in a comic medium other than just to annoy AW FORGET IT. The next page thankfully has no dialogue other than "Aw, screw it". Blake suddenly jumps out from the bushes and grabs Rosechu right out of Sonichu's hands. How? Who knows and who cares? Sonichu and Sonic also suddenly find themselves on a collision course, and crash into each other.

There isn't much to say about the next page other than the fact that Sonichu's expression is less "Oh my god a blue supersonic hedgehog just crashed into me" and more "Wow, I am so high right now", or whatever it is druggies say. Yeah, I just made a drug joke. That's how low we've gotten, people.

Rosechu, always quick on the uptake, notices that she isn't being carried by Sonichu any more. Rather than using her electric powers, which I assume she has even though Chris hasn't showed her using, she just plays the part of distressed damsel and yells for Sonichu to help her. It's so glad to know that there is room for empowered, independent women in this comic.

Sonic and Sonichu, saying what I've been already thinking, lampshade the situation and tell each other that they should have watched where they were going. Each then recognizes the other.

In the next page DEAR GOD DID CHRIS JUST USE NUMBERING IN A SPEECH BUBBLE WHAT THE HELL. I am dead serious people. Chris has just reached the epitome of comics laziness and, rather than draw individual speech bubbles, has just decided to do a whole bunch of text and helpfully number the short phrases so that we can see who say what when, in the format of "1. Hi 2. Hi 3. How's it going. 4. pretty good etc. etc. ". There are no words to describe it, really, so here's the page in question. Just trust me when I say that it's far, far worse than it sounds.

What is actually said isn't all that important, really. It's just Sonic and Sonichu telling each other the stuff we already know and getting each other up to speed on the current situation. Honestly, Chris just putting up a big block of text saying "Sonichu tells Sonic the situation" would have worked just as well and wouldn't be a nightmare to read. Anyway, Sonichu sees Blake's footprints and Sonic agrees to help Sonichu out.

Oh, look, I just noticed that it's the last page of the comic. Sonic and Sonichu shake hands and Chris helpfully informs us that CWC's Sonichu site is a proud supporter of autism awareness and the Autism Society. Even ignoring the fact that the Autism Society probably doesn't want Chris' support, why do I get the feeling that Chris hasn't actually donated a single cent to them?

Whatever, the actual last page of the comic is another fake advertisement, this time for Sonichu trading cards, or maybe a Sonichu expansion for pokemon trading cards. It's hard to tell, exactly. Nice to see that Chris is as egotistical as ever, considering that he's on one of the cards. All right, I'm done. See you next time.

I know that my liveblogging style is a bit spastic and whimsical, but I think that my experience will be slightly more accurate if I read the comic at the same time I write the liveblog, so that you can all get an idea of what I've been going through. The comic is just horrible, really. There's no originality to be found, the protagonists are shallow, the antagonists are lame, the plots are basically Saturday morning cartoon plots with what little originality they once had sucked out, and the artwork really speaks for itself. Why did I even start this liveblog? It's given me nothing but pain. But I'll persevere, because I know that if I can make it through Sonichu, I can make it through anything. I can only hope that I'll keep my sanity intact once Chris really starts to enter the picture.

edited 16th Feb '10 11:27:18 AM by SapphireFlame

Are you not entertained?
slowzombie Platypus! from Way up North Since: Jan, 2001
Platypus!
#237: Feb 16th 2010 at 11:34:24 AM

Ah, more pointlessness, more excessively bad dialog in excessive quanta. Sonichu: If it doesn't suck, it's not the real deal.

edited 16th Feb '10 11:34:37 AM by slowzombie

Liveblog | Deadblog
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#238: Feb 16th 2010 at 11:50:41 AM

wild mass guess Sonic would later find out how horrible a creature Sonichu was, and secretly become an adversary of Chris, undertaking the psuedonym "Bluespike".

edited 16th Feb '10 12:13:01 PM by Daionusthe23rd

Marky_Markk Is not the badger from Work SHHHH! Since: Nov, 2009
Is not the badger
#239: Feb 16th 2010 at 1:19:03 PM

wild mass guess Sonic realises Sonichu is a freak of nature, and kills him to put us out of our misery.

Notice how Sonichu is taller then Sonic. Shouldn't he, if anything, be shorter?

If Jesus reads this, I want my pants back...
slowzombie Platypus! from Way up North Since: Jan, 2001
Platypus!
#240: Feb 16th 2010 at 2:13:22 PM

Oh, another thing I forgot to mention: really liking your livebloggin' style. It's pretty much the least sanity-straining way of... well, enjoying this particular piece of phiction (I love alliteration)

Liveblog | Deadblog
Myrmidon The Ant King from In Antartica Since: Nov, 2009
The Ant King
#241: Feb 16th 2010 at 2:35:30 PM

Rosechu does get more active in the plot later. Despite what it sounds like, this is not a good thing.

Kill all math nerds
ShadowWarden Since: Jan, 2001
Myrmidon The Ant King from In Antartica Since: Nov, 2009
The Ant King
#243: Feb 16th 2010 at 4:37:46 PM

It is a little known fact that the 19th amendment also gives women the right to face-hump trolls to death.

edited 16th Feb '10 4:37:58 PM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#244: Feb 16th 2010 at 5:08:19 PM

And that "women's rights" means making pornography, so long as none of the women have turned 14 years cute ( :) ).

Myrmidon The Ant King from In Antartica Since: Nov, 2009
The Ant King
#245: Feb 16th 2010 at 5:35:29 PM

I am NOT nor have I EVER BEEN a Pedofork! I am not attracted to Children. I am however, a Supporter of Womens Rights. It is NOT MY FAULT that those Dumb and Sexist laws prevent 14 year olds from Stripping as is their God Given Right. Rosechu had to Defend Her honor as a woman from that dumb troll and thus did NOTHING WRONG.

(Now if you'll excuse me I need to scrub my skin until it bleeds.)

edited 16th Feb '10 5:36:24 PM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#246: Feb 16th 2010 at 5:37:03 PM

D:

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#247: Feb 16th 2010 at 6:34:20 PM

^ Which bringeth me to another problem I have: Chris is so bad at showing emotions, he puts smileys in the speech bubbles.

Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#248: Feb 16th 2010 at 6:35:37 PM

What.

That's...

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#249: Feb 16th 2010 at 6:40:00 PM

Yeah it's some not-so-good news I found on the internet...sad

Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#250: Feb 16th 2010 at 6:41:06 PM

I mean...that's what the faces are for oh my god! If it's not being used in a cute chibi drawing it doesn't work!

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic

Total posts: 1,080
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