Buying drinks from SCP-294

Result: The metallic hydrogen was stable for roughly 15 seconds before evaporating and rapidly filling the room.

Test: A cup of plasma from a Wolf-Rayet star’s core.

Edited by IC1101 on Nov 13th 2021 at 2:21:02 PM

Cambrian animals sure are weird, am I right?

Result: [TEST DENIED] for obvious reasons. Plus plasma isn't a liquid, so it would've given an out of range anyway

Test: A cup of the best soft drink on Earth^note that part added so we don't get some accidental Alien Lunch commercially available. I'm interested to how SCP-294 deals with subjective orders.

Result: It produces a liquid according to the tester’s taste. Further tests had different people give different opinions from the same drink.

Test: 1 gallon liter of Pokémon’s berry juice.

"I just need one of you to come here to give your life to the sun god. It will be for the monkey city's glory."

Result: OUT OF RANGE. SCP-294 cannot dispense more than 200ml.

A second test was attempted which did not specify a volume. SCP-294 dispensed a cup of mixed fruit juice. Testing reveals no anomalous properties.

Test: A cup of whatever.

Ukrainian Red Cross

Result: A cup of soda. Taste indicated it was "alright, but nothing special". Continual tests introduced random beverages that were drinkable and non-poisonous, only sharing the trait of tasting average to whoever ordered it

Test: A cup of karma. After we test on a random person, we do a second to cross-test on SCP-682

Result: A D-Class drank it, he screamed in pain as he crumbled to the ground. When tested on 682, it seems to be in high levels of pain, not enough to kill it sadly.

Test: Bro i want a cup that turns people into Anime!!-Doctor Beew

Molly found a dead body.

Result: a 8 oz glass containing [[DATA EXPUNGED]], consumption caused [[Data redacted by o5 Council.]] leaving only a dvd of a Japanese cartoon.

test:A cup of War.

Edited by vjoi on Nov 26th 2021 at 8:43:50 AM

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.

Result: a cup containing pure Dihydrogen monoxide found to be impossible to be contaminated after the researcher who picked it up and ended up spilling some on to the floor

request: liquid godhood

Edited by Immortalartisan on Nov 26th 2021 at 10:03:33 AM

I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting

Result: A golden fluid was poured. Before it could be drunk, SCP-343 manifested and punched the person who ordered the drink in the face before taking the cup for himself. What happened to that cup is unknown. A second test of the same order didn't give out a liquid, but a piece of paper written by SCP-343 stating DON'T ORDER THIS AGAIN. A third order was made using a D-Class. This time a silver fluid was poured. After drinking the D-Class and the person who ordered the test vanished. Their current location is unknown and are presumed K.I.A

Test: A cup of "immunity from SCP-055's effect"

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Nov 27th 2021 at 8:39:42 PM

Result: Wait there was an 055?-Doctor █████

Test: A cup of "Battery acid".

Edited by Chibi-Robo on Nov 27th 2021 at 11:17:00 AM

Molly found a dead body.

Result: A weird green liquid. You drop it before you can taste it, and it explodes upon impact on the floor. The machine is still fine.

Test: A cup of xnopyt.

Edited by R3Ked on Nov 27th 2021 at 12:07:02 PM

bump

Molly found a dead body.

Result: Output appears to be water. When someone with the first name of Tom drinks it, they will vanish.

Test: A cup of water from Europa’s subsurface ocean. (Is this thread dead or what?)

Edited by IC1101 on Jan 18th 2022 at 9:29:41 AM

Cambrian animals sure are weird, am I right?

probably

Result: A cup of really cold water, when drunk, it feels exotic, those who believe there are aliens on Europa's oceans claim to see alien animals on it, which causes them to not want to drink it. Those who don't think its some weird water, those who never heard of Europa think its just water.

Test: A cup of water from 'the hospital'

Molly found a dead body.

Result: A cup of a strange liquid, whose composition was determined to be blood, [DATA EXPUNGED]. Cup was declared a biohazard and disposed of.

Test: A cup of 'something that will make Bungie bring Cayde 6 back'

Take him to Detriot

Result: Cayde 6 is brought back but as an undead robot zombie...

Test: A cup of chocolate milk.

"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia

Wow, it was just a cup of chocolate milk!

---

A cupeth of waterth made in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe

Praise the Lamb!

Result: A seemingly standard cup of water. Drinking it caused a D-Class to start speaking in Early Modern English, seemingly forgetting Modern English entirely. D-Class terminated after effect started spreading.

Test: A cup of clickbait.

Edited by ZeTropeGuy999 on Jul 5th 2023 at 7:35:22 PM

EQUITY PARTNERSHIP

Result: A liquid that resembles multiple colours at once, in a rainbow-like design. Several human faces of shock and surprise can be seen from the concoction. When D-Class had the drink, they remarked that it tasted mediocre and not at all what it hyped itself up to be. Said disappointment spread to entire base, albeit temporarily.

Test: "A cup of communism."

Edited by CanuckMcDuck1 on Dec 29th 2023 at 6:17:08 AM

Discombobulate.

Result: A dense red-and-yellow swirled liquid topped with a gold-plated hammer and sickle logo. According to the D-Class, it tastes like cherry, and the hammer and sickle tastes like candy mixed with actual gold.

Test: A cup of McDonald's.

One thing I have learned in pledging my life to this quest is that I have been betrayed again and again. And again. And again.

Result: SCP-294 appeared to have attempted to make a vanilla milkshake, but broke down midway through the dispensing. SCP-294 fixed itself after 30 minutes, but personnel are now advised to not try this again.

Test: A cup of Green Rocks.

EQUITY PARTNERSHIP

Result: Your cup gets filled with various tiny rocks painted green. What did you expect?

Test: A cup of purified Smash essence.

Naytheism should be the default, not the exception