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Buying drinks from SCP-294

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Corrosion Self-Replicating Mechanism of War from Some Galaxy Since: Jun, 2016 Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Self-Replicating Mechanism of War
#1551: Mar 8th 2017 at 3:29:33 AM

Result: A glowing white liquid. Upon consumption, subject was immediately surrounded by a bright white light. When it subsided, subject was attired in a white robe and wooden sandals, and was observed to have a ring of light floating above head. Noted to match stereotypical depictions of Jesus Christ. Subject then proceeded to claim that he had come to 'cleanse man of sin', and proceeded to turn all water in the surrounding area to red wine. Subject then terminated via gunshot to the head. Following termination, a white mist was seen rising from the body. White mist was then blown away by cafeteria air conditioning units.

Input: A cup of TV Tropes

edited 8th Mar '17 3:29:52 AM by Corrosion

''Annihilate everything.''
StarAndroidJaguar ... from a place where you dream you'd never find Since: Feb, 2017 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
...
#1552: Mar 8th 2017 at 9:43:03 AM

Output: Subject attempted to embody all tropes, resulting in a horrific cataclysm. Subject's body then self-destructed.

Input: Liquified neurotoxin.

...
DrToaster Dr. Doctor Doctor. Since: Feb, 2017 Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Dr. Doctor Doctor.
#1553: Mar 10th 2017 at 1:17:13 PM

Result: A cup of clear liquid, that, when consumed, caused all of one's brain to shut down.

Test: order a cup of "EVERY FLIPPING THING".

DO SCIENCE FOR THE SCIENCE GOD
vjoi The first Stealth Fighter! from The South. Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Mu
The first Stealth Fighter!
#1554: Mar 10th 2017 at 11:39:46 PM

Result:a cup of coffee with foam reading "I'm a vending machine not a F**king wizard.

input: a cup of vampirism.

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
vjoi The first Stealth Fighter! from The South. Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Mu
The first Stealth Fighter!
#1555: Mar 13th 2017 at 5:02:16 PM

Bump

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
dutchguy1986 Since: Jul, 2014
#1556: Mar 14th 2017 at 11:44:42 AM

Result: A mixture of human blood and some sparkling substance.

Input: A mixture of apple juice, coffee, hot chocolate and orange juice that is both tasty and won't make me sick. I lost a bet and I have to drink that concoction

edited 14th Mar '17 11:45:03 AM by dutchguy1986

chianticat10 Former Human from Leaving Foxfell Since: Jun, 2015 Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Former Human
#1557: Mar 14th 2017 at 11:57:51 AM

Output:A mixture of said drinks. Contains additional flavorings.

Input:A cup of Sentence mixing.

(YTP Joke)

“How long has it been? 23 days?”
arcada188 about to beat a badger Since: Jan, 2015
about to beat a badger
#1558: Mar 14th 2017 at 12:01:47 PM

Output: The drink causes any sentence the subject says to be shuffled around to sound like something obscene or be a short palindrom.

Input: A drink of ВИD.

You really are from the future! Tell me, am I living in a cottage in Nova Scotia, happily married with one egg and another on the way?
ActualBeatrice Raygun from the Salt Mines Since: Jul, 2016 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
#1559: Mar 14th 2017 at 11:31:11 PM

Output: A curdlelike grey liquid in a black paper cup. Has a scent of plaster, but seemed palatable enough. A Class-D was brought to the testing facility to taste it. Upon ingestion, he dropped limp to the ground, shook uncontrollably and foamed out of his mouth. He described what he saw as [REDACTED], and told people in the facility to Google it. A few seconds after saying it, he collapsed yet again, stopped breathing and had no pulse, and was finally declared dead. A quick Google search for what the deceased personnel said lead to this. Remaining liquid under testing.

Input: A cup of the 90s.

edited 14th Mar '17 11:33:44 PM by ActualBeatrice

The Superstar of the Supernatural World! (debatable)
chianticat10 Former Human from Leaving Foxfell Since: Jun, 2015 Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Former Human
#1560: Mar 15th 2017 at 7:14:47 PM

Output:Drink was similar to "Best drink I ever had" but the cup was covered in 90s aesthetics.

"Yeah, so me and a couple other people went to a bar during 1995 and... well, that's the exact drink I ordered."-Agent Baker

Input: A cup of Transformation

"It's for my fetish!"-Agent Walker

"Please, No!"-Dr.Zurita

edited 15th Mar '17 7:15:08 PM by chianticat10

“How long has it been? 23 days?”
Alucart23 Since: Jun, 2015
#1561: Mar 15th 2017 at 7:30:14 PM

Output: Cup containing rainbow colored liquid. Immediately after consumption, subject's arms produce barnacle-like growths, the forehead develops a horn, [REDACTED]. Specimen is currently considered Keter-class.

Input: A cup of R3000 / T08A2

brandonfave [[Harry Potter He-who-must-not-be-name from [REDACTED] Since: Apr, 2016 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
[[Harry Potter He-who-must-not-be-name
#1563: Jun 8th 2017 at 5:52:50 AM

Result: An orange liquid. After drinking it, subject forgot all of the disturbing images he ever saw, but his mouth was burned.

Request: A cup of Brain Bleach.

edited 8th Jun '17 5:54:30 AM by brandonfave

ActualBeatrice Raygun from the Salt Mines Since: Jul, 2016 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
#1564: Jun 8th 2017 at 7:14:59 AM

Output: A white substance similar in composition and structure to commercially-available bleach. Given to be drunk by a D-class, who had just been shown disturbing and explicit images, a few minutes prior to the production of the drink by the SCP. When the D-class ingested it, he was not long after feeling like he had never seen those images before.

Input: A cup of serious shit.

The Superstar of the Supernatural World! (debatable)
Jaxfirebus Since: Feb, 2014
#1565: Jun 8th 2017 at 12:15:37 PM

RESULT: Subject began running 88 miles per hour, leaving flames where their footsteps once were. Subject then vanished. Well this explains that burnt skeleton we found wearing a D-Class Uniform yesterday.

Input: A cup of Space Station 13

NASCARLOVER427 why u hurt Stockcar-chan? from Wherever He Wants Since: May, 2016 Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
why u hurt Stockcar-chan?
#1566: Jun 9th 2017 at 2:07:26 PM

Result: Cup of grey floor tiles. Subject reports only being able to see in a top down perspective.

-types in "a cup of TN Ps baby photos"

I'm feeling nice, so here's a nice, not meme related, rendition of The Final Countdown
Almohad Since: Jan, 2016
#1567: Jun 9th 2017 at 2:49:25 PM

Result: Cup containing a thin coloured solution of a lightly saturated pinkish beige hue; Subject displayed hyperactivity and extreme levels of dopamine, proceeded to speak in only fluent Portuguese of the south-american dialect, though most of their speech was phonetically impeded and grammatically incorrect; tests of didactic knowledge and logical process showed underwhelming results. When faced with photographies, speech samples, written records or any substance containing DNA related to the individual of birthname [REDACTED], subject proceeded to display extreme headaches, dementia and nausea, proceeded to deject all of their stomachal acids, lymph, blood and hydration from their pores, subject terminated autonomously shortly after.

Input: A cup of philosophy.

edited 9th Jun '17 2:55:04 PM by Almohad

lewattoo The IRL Madeline plushie from Planet Auguste Since: Apr, 2013 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The IRL Madeline plushie
#1568: Jun 11th 2017 at 7:08:43 PM

Result: A liquid with a grayscale marble swirl pattern poured into the cup. The tester who drank it began to claim that he was thinking deeply about various subjects, and had developed various complex philosophical theories around them.

Input: A cup of reverse tea

Transferred my essence into a Madeline plushie back in May
RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 from New Zealand (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#1569: Jun 13th 2017 at 3:57:46 AM

Result: A clear, cool liquid. When drinking, the subject proceeded to regurgitate normal tea in a volume twice that of the "cup of reverse tea". Testing this substance revealed that it was identical to normal tea, and the subject had no ill effects asides from the normal unpleasent feeling from vomiting and being slightly dehydrated

Test: A cup of SCP-294

Jaxfirebus Since: Feb, 2014
#1570: Jul 26th 2017 at 8:28:15 AM

RESULT: Instead of the usual "Out of Range" that shows up, it simply shows "No". Testing to see if SCP-294 is sentient will take place soon.

TEST: A cup of SCP-261 Product.

TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Not Sherlock Holmes
#1571: Jul 26th 2017 at 9:41:10 AM

Output: A dissolved cup of everything that SCP-291 vended. Due to the dangerous nature of the snack foods, the researcher who drank it died.

Input: A cup of Toby Fox

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
ZeroL *Vague plotting intensifies* from a dimension with 700 too many of me Since: Jul, 2016 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
*Vague plotting intensifies*
#1572: Jul 26th 2017 at 10:05:34 AM

Output: A clear, slightly sweet liquid. After drinking, the researcher who did so demonstrated very few noticeable changes, other than making more puns than usual and presenting those nearby with sudden moral dilemmas.

However, the next day, the researcher was missing, and all computers in the facility began to blast epic music. Various SCPs began breaching containment, and a large, annoying white dog was seen chewing through the containment cells to free any living anomalies it could find.

Input: A cup of conquest.

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
Almohad Since: Jan, 2016
#1573: Jul 27th 2017 at 12:24:34 PM

Output: A thick, red liquid of faint luminosity that emitted a dense miasmal vapor with smell akin to the combustion of sulfur, charcoal and potassium nitrate. Test subject proceeded to speak only fluent latin, linguists were able to interpret inumerous nationalistic remarks amidst delirious stupor. Subject proceeded to violently attack sorroundings whilst gesticulating the riding of an equine, swinging of sword and chant of patriotic anthems. Subject terminated autonomously from blood loss consequent of ruptured sanguine vessels of knuckles.

Input: A cup of kawaii.

TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Not Sherlock Holmes
#1574: Jul 27th 2017 at 2:37:47 PM

Result: When a D-Class drank the sickly pink liquid, he became a cat girl. Placed in Dr. Almo's office.

Dr. Almo, I appreciate your being an otaku, but please don't make reality-warping potions off of it. What if someone orders a cup of Kyubey? -Dr. Tales

Test: A cup of Extra Credits.

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Jaxfirebus Since: Feb, 2014
#1575: Jul 27th 2017 at 6:31:04 PM

RESULT: Subject displayed incredible knowledge of the gaming industry, however moved as if in still images. Subject was Terminated under a pile of poorly made games.

TEST: A cup of Reality Bender.


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