Buying drinks from SCP-294

[Experiment halted]

O-5: Are you INSANE?!

A cup of whatever will harm SCP-035.

edited 18th Jun '10 11:53:52 PM by Colonial1.1

The mere mentioning of SCP-035 has cause a slight moral drop, and no tester would willingly be within 10 feet of the substance, despite no immediate harm when near it. It is brown thick plaster with the cup warm at the bottom, and later examination showed that the plaster is wood pulp, and the bottom was filled molten (now cooled) iron. Theory is that the idea in question was once a sort of tool, most likely a hammer.

Request: a cup of spiral energy.

[Experiment halted]

Dr. Rights - What is WITH you today?

A cup of pure sensual pleasure.

edited 19th Jun '10 1:53:24 AM by LeighSabio

[Experiment halted]

Dr. Clef: No. No more of this. We've got convicted rapists and dangerous humanoid abominations in our presence. So unless you want to lie in bed, racked with pain in the lower regions for days, I suggest this behavior be stopped.

A cup of black hole.

[HALTED!]

Dr.—-: -Groan-

Request: Something to calm the Roaring One.

A cup of a rather bland-looking and tasteless liquid. drinkers immediately became extraordinarily docile upon ingestion of the output, to do anything other than sit at their present location and stare off into space. This effect persisted until the drinkers died of starvation several days later.

A cup of The Dark Side of the Force.

Output: A cloudy, dark grey liquid. Upon consumption, test subjects began to manifest telekinetic abilities and increased psychopathic tendencies.

Input: A cup of

A cup containing pure nothing. All objects coming in contact instantly vanish into nothing. Upon having a class-d subject insert their hand they removed it to find a "hand-free" stump. It is currently under consideration for the purpose of cleanly and painlessly amputating limbs; as well as for the possibility of dissecting and destroying indestructible scps' such as SCP-682.

Request: A blessed potion of gain level.

edited 20th Jun '10 2:44:04 PM by TheMightyAnonym

output: a strange blue drink that seems to increase the strength and health of any who drink it.

Request: a can of Yukianesa.

Result: [Out of range], unsurprisingly.

Request: A cup containing of a little bit of everything.

Output: A cup containing a white-hot glowing substance. Upon cooling, it was found that the substance separated into different layers, while releasing gases into the surrounding atmosphere. Testing revealed that the gases emitted were at least partially flammable and somewhat toxic, and the contents that remained in the cup appeared to weakly emit radiation consistent with alpha, beta, gamma, and positron decay patterns. Upon detailed analysis, traces of every known element including several [DATA EXPUNGED] were discovered. The contents of the cup have since been sealed into a lead-lined box with glove holes in order to allow for further analysis of the [DATA EXPUNGED].

Input: A cup of MOTHER 3, please.

Output: A peach-colored, sweet and tangy liquid that inexplicably induces feelings of heartbreak in the drinker.

Input: A cup of Schadenfreude.

Output: A bluish fluid that caused Amusing Injuries to those who consumed it.

Request: A cup of cups.

Output: A cup full of molten plastic. When tasted, it was confirmed to taste like plastic.

Input: A cup of SCP-294.

edited 22nd Jun '10 12:43:40 PM by Darxzero

Output: [OUT OF RANGE] error appeared, SCP-294 appears conscious of requests that potentially threaten itself, more research is ongoing.

Input: A cup of Sonic 2006.

A cup of a sky-blue liquid. Drinkers immediately became much faster, but experienced a severe lack of hand-eye coordination and little control over their direction when moving. Drinkers were also observed shouting, "we need to get back to the future!," "[the output] alone is insufficient," and numerous other nonsensical phrases.

a cup of Star Wars.

Output: a cup of black and white fluid that oddly kept changing color between black and white. In a test, half of people who drink it became self destructive and more, well, evil, and tried to take over the planet. The other half of people became more sagelike, and developed an affinity for meditation.

Request: a cup of The Exorcist

Output: A cup of various bodily fluids.

In a nearby town, a Catholic priest authorised to perform exorcisms collapsed, apparently due to fluid loss. The fluid in the cup was later confirmed to have come from the priest.

Huh — Dr. Gears

Input: A cup of Coca-Cola's secret ingredient.

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED].

Dr. Valthan: Huh. That's all?

Request: a cup of King Ghidorah.

Output: A cup of thick, reddish-brown, blood-like fluid reported to taste of chicken.

Input: Something SCP-261 might burp up.

[Data Expunged]

Dr. Clef: never do that again. It was hilarious, I admit. But never do it again.

Request: A cup of Body Horror

Output: A cup of a dark-red fluid smelling faintly of blood. Upon drinking it subjects began to experience bodily unease, followed by [DATA EXPUNGED]. ███ Class-D personnel and ██ were killed before the [DATA EXPUNGED] could be subdued by Foundation security forces. Researchers have been warned to seek O-5 approval and maintain a security presence on standby for future potentially dangerous requests on pain of reassignment to Keter duty.

Request: A cup of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door please...

Result: A liquefied video game system.

Yes, I know I'm lame and couldn't think of anything.

Request: A cup of logic

Result: A cup of clear fluids, which upon consumption, gives the test subject the ability to look in a perspective and even solve practical problems.

Request: A cup of bears

Output: A cup of assorted bodily fluids and tissues, DNA testing confirmed initial suspicions that the output was indeed from bears. Genetic signatures consistent with over a dozen species of bears and upwards of 40 individuals were found in the output.

Input: A cup of Super Mario Galaxy.