A cup of a puce-coloured liquid with a mildly unpleasant odor. The D-Class personnel asigned to drink it immediately became cold and aloof toward the researchers, and mildly unfriendly toward anyone he was familiar with. The effect lasted for one hour.
A cup of the Black Pearl.
edited 18th Jun '10 1:09:45 PM by SullenFrog
The Danse Macabre CodexA cup of disgusting-smelling fluid of unknown composition. D-class personnel assigned to test it laughed for 12 hours straight after ingestion.
More chocolate-banana milkshake for Cassy.
Output: 1 cup of chocolate banana milkshake.
Input: A Flaming Moe Homer please.
edited 18th Jun '10 2:07:15 PM by CaptainNapalm
Let's play a game about Pokémon...Output: A warm, delicious alcoholic beverage with a slight but noticeable 'burnt' odour.
Input: A cup of liquid.
Ukrainian Red CrossA cup of a literally invisible liquid. When ingested, the drinker immediately disappeared and reappeared within [REDACTED] Installation, [REDACTED] miles away. Further testing shows that the drinker has no control over his destination when teleporting.
A Ryncol, please.
The Danse Macabre CodexA cup of green liquid. When examined to discern its chemical makeup, it was found to contain elements previously unknown. Upon drinking it, a nearby Class D instantaneously fainted, and didn't wake up for 14 hours. When he did wake up, he complained of a headache rivaling that of if one drinks five bottles of vodka in a single night.
A cup of philosophy.
Escape.^^Result: a substance colored exactly like how it is seen(or reported) in the game. Testing is now commencing concerning the ingredients.
^ An off-white fluid, reported to taste like a rough coffee; D-class subjects having ingested this substance began discussing the reason for SCP-343's existence, the meaning of life, and other topics with observing researchers at length, only stopping to ask for a glass of water. Effects lasted three hours.
Request: Joker venom.
edited 18th Jun '10 3:26:23 PM by Colonial1.1
"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."Result: A cup of green liquid which instantly evaporates, poisoning any who inhaled the gas. Victims began laughing uncontrollably, only to [DATA EXPUNGED] minutes later. Class D personnel spent two weeks cleaning up the mess.
Ok, guys, no more requesting comic book fluids.- Dr. ████
Request: A glass of something that will make SCP-682 harmless.
edited 18th Jun '10 9:45:08 PM by Chubert
Whatcha gonna do, little buckaroo? | i be pimpin' madoka ficsOutput: A cup containing various body fluids and tissues from the requester, not unlike the infamous "cup of Joe" test. The subject who made the request immediately exhibited visible discomfort and was hospitalized after collapsing.
Request: A cup of Quickzine.
Let's play a game about Pokémon...Output: a cup of an odd liquid that causes an increase in the speed of the drinker.
Dr. Kondraki: Yes, very vague, why not try harder to make it sound like the explanation given by an RPG?
Request: a drink of Lovecraftian Superpower
A cup of a rank, viscous substance resembling boiled human fat. Staring at it caused everything to seem wrong on some fundamental level, and the D-Class personnel who ingested it [DATA EXPUNGED]; the lockdown was not lifted until decontamination and psychiatric evaluations of all personnel were completed the following week.
NEVER do that again.—Dr. Dawson.
A cup of The Old Republic, please.
The Danse Macabre CodexThe cup contains a liquid miniature galaxy, which, when observed with a microscope, appears to be teeming with life. The cup has been taken away for further research.
How about... a cup of solar flares?
edited 18th Jun '10 7:08:38 PM by Darxzero
Escape.All recording equipment and Class D personnel in the area were destroyed by absurd temperatures and various forms of radiation.
Dr. Clef: Really, now, how did you expect that to end?
Request: A cup of GEDDAN.
Output: A drink with a greenish hue described by observers as either "amusing" or "obnoxious". When consumed, causes the drinker to succumb to what appears to be an epileptic seizure, the only apparent difference being that the drinker levitates in midair. The effect passes after about thirty seconds.
Request: A cup of YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
we are not the same you will hear my voiceOutput: A bright orange, swirly liquid described as having a tart, potent taste. Causes all subjects who drink it to instinctively shrilly shriek "YEEEEEEAAAAAH!" until said subjects pass out from lack of air.
Request: A cup of O-ethyl S-[2-(diisopropylamino)ethyl] methylphosphonothioate
^^A cup of a liquid resembling ponding scum. Upon ingesting it the D-Class personnel produced a pair of sunglasses which had not been on his person before the experiment and remarked, "Looks like our magic vending machine is...sold out," whereupon a deafening YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! emanated from nowhere and everywhere at once for a span of six seconds. The sound continued to accompany every statement and quip the drinker made until he was terminated to alleviate the annoyance factor.
^ [EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]
Really, do you people actually want to loose a weapon of mass destruction on this facility?—Dr. Dawson
A cup of Teen Titans, GO!
edited 18th Jun '10 8:24:13 PM by SullenFrog
The Danse Macabre Codex^ It's actually a nerve agent, sir...
Output: A cup of what appear to be assorted bodily fluids, tissues, and some crushed silicon shards. Testing has revealed the fluids to contain at least 5 genetic signatures, three of which do not appear to be fully human...
Request: A cup of Encyclopedia Dramatica
edited 18th Jun '10 8:02:36 PM by CaptainNapalm
Let's play a game about Pokémon...Output: an odd drink which had the appearance of a combination of beef juice and turkey juice.
Request: a can of Psycho Serum
An innocuous clear liquid that, when ingested or sniffed, elicited violent and paranoid behavior in all subjects, as well as enhanced strength. Perhaps from mental instability?
A cup of SCP-682 please.
I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial

Output: A cup of gasoline, smelling vaguely of various fluids used in various fetishes.
Test: A cup of mild dislike.