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Buying drinks from SCP-294

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KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:50:34 PM

A cup filled with cheesecake. You try to drink it and fail. It would appear it's just cheesecake shoved in a cup.

One Arnie Palmer please.

edited 16th Jun '10 11:52:39 PM by KSPAM

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:53:45 PM

^(Methinks yours is best. Could you put that back?)

Result: One arnie palmer, in an appropriate glass with a red umbrella straw.

Request: One cup of Japanese culture.

edited 16th Jun '10 11:54:10 PM by Colonial1.1

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:55:54 PM

OUTPUT: One cup of Tentacle Grape.

REQUEST: DHARMA fish biscuit.

edited 16th Jun '10 11:56:05 PM by newtonthenewt

She's playing with fire! He's not ready for Nibbly Pig!
VampireBuddha Hungry dinosaur from Ireland Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Hungry dinosaur
Jun 17th 2010 at 5:09:25 AM

Output: A cup of a dull brownish substance later identified as liquid gingerbread with citrus flavouring.

Input: A cup of [DATA EXPUNGED].

Note: This has not been edited. The researcher did indeed enter an open square bracket, the word DATA, the word EXPUNGED, and a closed square bracket.

KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 17th 2010 at 7:08:06 AM

A glass of pulpy, swirling gray. Upon tasting by D-class personnel, the subject immediately collapsed on the ground. He was heard mumbling for his mother while sucking his thumb, curled into the fetal position.

A glass of 4chan please.

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
iTroper from BC, Canada
Jun 17th 2010 at 9:09:58 AM

Output: A glass of foul-smelling liquid. Upon drinking, the person who ordered it violently and messily [DATA EXPUNGED] while [DATA EXPUNGED] all over the [DATA EXPUNGED].

Dr. Gears: You do NOT want to know what those expunged sections said. Just trust me.

Input: A cup of molten telekill alloy.

Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jun 17th 2010 at 9:16:34 AM

Result: A steel cup of molten telekill alloy. Dr.Gears: This is an excellent source of renewable telekill. Inform O-5.

Request: A cup of Geass.

edited 17th Jun '10 9:16:50 AM by Colonial1.1

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 17th 2010 at 10:50:54 AM

A swirly purplish drink that, upon consumption, brings the drinker into a hypnotic trance in which they will obey any command with a hearty "YES MY LORD!"

A cup of stars.

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
MadeOfAxes Not Literally Me
Not Literally Me
Jun 17th 2010 at 12:17:03 PM

Result: The entire base 294 was currently situated in was wiped out by the heat from the output before [DATA EXPUNGED] was activated, negating the threat. 7 SCP's were released from containment, before being recaptured. Total death count: 478 staff, including 102 D-Class personnel.

The world's worst (completely safe and edible) drink.

"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.
KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 17th 2010 at 12:42:14 PM

A brown drink that smells and tastes of human feces. Testing has confirmed that the drink is not actually made of human feces; further testing required.

A cup of stairs.

we are not the same you will hear my voice
JewelyJ from A state in the USA
Jun 17th 2010 at 12:42:58 PM

Ninja'ed

A light tan drink that smells like carpet. As subjects drink itthey levitate higher and higher from the ground. The effect is temporary and subjects succumb to gravity afterwords. One subject attempted to chug it. Their remains are still being cleaned up.

A cup of creative inspiration please

edited 17th Jun '10 12:45:49 PM by JewelyJ

RTHSFF Kori Dómtlandsson
Kori Dómtlandsson
Jun 17th 2010 at 12:47:23 PM

Output: A cup of clear, tasteless liquid. Upon consumption, class-D personnel began creating various works of art.

Request: A cup of unholy water

"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeeche
SullenFrog Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise! from Voormithadreth Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
Jun 17th 2010 at 12:52:14 PM

Output: a cup of an incredibly noxious black liquid. Particularly religious researchers expressed an intense aversion of the output, and when a Class-D personnel was forced to drink it he promptly [DATA EXPUNGED], resulting in the deaths of [REDACTED] personnel and the complete mental breakdown of twice that many.

Request: a cup of Jabba The Hutt.

edited 17th Jun '10 12:52:32 PM by SullenFrog

The Danse Macabre Codex
JewelyJ from A state in the USA
Jun 17th 2010 at 1:03:27 PM

A cup of liquefied fat.

A cup of color

LeighSabio Mate Griffon To Mare from Love party!
Mate Griffon To Mare
Jun 17th 2010 at 1:08:23 PM

Result: A rainbow-glowing substance that is impossible to drink.

Request: A cup of That Came Out Wrong.

edited 17th Jun '10 1:09:11 PM by LeighSabio

"All pain is a punishment, and every punishment is inflicted for love as much as for justice." — Joseph De Maistre.
KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 17th 2010 at 2:36:26 PM

A mysterious liquid that makes it nigh impossible to speak in anything but innuendos.

A cup of nameless evil.

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
LeighSabio Mate Griffon To Mare from Love party!
Mate Griffon To Mare
Jun 17th 2010 at 2:57:11 PM

The machine ejaculates a cup of [DATA EXPUNGED] all over your face. Your dying moans and screams can be heard from across the hall...I must still be suffering from the effects of the cup of That Came Out Wrong.

A cup of Slash Fic.

edited 17th Jun '10 2:58:11 PM by LeighSabio

"All pain is a punishment, and every punishment is inflicted for love as much as for justice." — Joseph De Maistre.
KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 17th 2010 at 2:58:49 PM

A sparkly pink fluid that Tastes Like Diabetes and male ejaculate.

A cup of Cool Story Bro.

we are not the same you will hear my voice
LeighSabio Mate Griffon To Mare from Love party!
Mate Griffon To Mare
Jun 17th 2010 at 3:04:31 PM

So this one time, the machine was making this cup of tea, right? And it totally added [DATA EXPUNGED] instead of sugar. (machine's story continues for another page and a half) So, then, this agent drank it and..................................................................................nothing happened.

A cup of Yuri.

"All pain is a punishment, and every punishment is inflicted for love as much as for justice." — Joseph De Maistre.
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry
The Magical Fruitbasket
Jun 17th 2010 at 3:54:05 PM

Output: One cup filled with human fecal matter. (2girls1cup reference! tongue)

Request: One cup of nitrogen

Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jun 17th 2010 at 3:55:23 PM

Result: a cup of liquid nitrogen.

Request: A cup of Noir.

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 17th 2010 at 4:11:03 PM

A cup filled with coffee as black as the night sky.

A cup of win.

edited 17th Jun '10 4:11:37 PM by KSPAM

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
LeighSabio Mate Griffon To Mare from Love party!
Mate Griffon To Mare
Jun 17th 2010 at 4:13:07 PM

^^A cup of a swirling, dark, almost gaseous liquid. You take a drink and immediately become unable to perceive any color. Just then, a Mysterious Woman saunters into the room and sits down on your desk.

^ A cup filled with Chuck Norris's sweat.

A cup of Rick Roll.

edited 17th Jun '10 4:14:05 PM by LeighSabio

"All pain is a punishment, and every punishment is inflicted for love as much as for justice." — Joseph De Maistre.
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jun 17th 2010 at 4:28:56 PM

Result: The fluid gives the drinker buoyed hope. Reports of the drinker failing to give others up are common, as is the fact that the drinker will never let anyone down. Their courage is greatly enhanced, and few will ever run around and desert loved ones.

Request: A cup of tea, please.

edited 17th Jun '10 4:29:17 PM by CrowT.Robot

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
CaptainNapalm Totally Not a Schoolboy from a closet.
Totally Not a Schoolboy
Jun 17th 2010 at 4:37:40 PM

Output: 1 cup of tea of indeterminate preparatory method.

Request: A cup of Mudder's Milk

edited 17th Jun '10 4:38:06 PM by CaptainNapalm

Let's play a game about Pokémon...

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